https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 15:42:05 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-676291 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 21:53:54 +0000 twoofeverything 676291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't do CIO and hope that we never have to, (although we're not opposed to trying it if things get intolerably bad). We did "train" them by only soothing them in their crib and not picking them up unless they were absolutely hysterical. We're also not opposed to letting them fuss for a minute or two before we go in.<br /> Once they realized they weren't getting any big reward from crying, they learned to lay quietly in their cribs. From there, they have learned (and are still learning, really), to self-soothe to sleep.<br /> Looong process. Haaaard process. But worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-676167 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 21:26:59 +0000 mrsjyw 676167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We ddint sleep train. Ds fell into his sttn groove on his own.</p> <p>He was a typical nb then mth 2-3 wokeup.1-3x to nurse... at 11 wks I randomly swaddle weaned cold turkey by 12 wks he was sttn 7-7. He is 18 wks now n sleeps 7- 630 most nights </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652404 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 15:04:06 +0000 banana 652404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't do any CIO with my son and he ended up sleeping fine. We did a modified CIO (let her cry for 10 minutes, then soothe, then 5 minutes, then soothe) with my DD and she also ended up sleeping fine. So I'm 100% in agreement that it depends on the baby. My son would've been heartbroken if we did CIO on him. Whereas my DD needs to cry a little bit before going to bed to "unwind". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652396 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 15:00:47 +0000 meredithNYC 652396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: I agree with @plantains in that I'm not upset about you posting the article, but I think the author is/was way out of line. </p> <p>And again, even though I personally do practice sleep training and occasional CIO, if I saw a pro-sleep training article that spoke in such an off-putting way about parents who choose not to sleep train, I would also be angry about it. It's just so unfair to take a blanket approach to these things, as in, "this is the way I do things, so it's obviously the best way and everyone else is wrong". Again, I know it wasn't your intention to offend, but man, that lady angered me and made me happy that Hellobee is such a kinder and more inclusive community than a lot of others.</p> <p>I also saw that "letter from a sleep trained baby" and nearly lost it. I guess it's safe to say that I should stay away from that site for the benefit of my blood pressure :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652378 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:56:41 +0000 bunnylove08 652378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Monkula: Thank you for posting this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652377 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:56:27 +0000 bunnylove08 652377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlebittyhouse: @mrsjazz: your success stories make me feel like there is some hope that DD will only wake up once a night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652308 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:26:10 +0000 mrsjazz 652308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlebittyhouse: She's 11 months old. I used to nurse her every time she woke up but I stopped and started just cuddling her because I knew she didn't need to nurse all those times. </p> <p>When she's teething or sick I basically do not sleep!</p> <p>@plantains: That letter is crazy. I don't understand why people have to be so judgmental--the world would be a much better place if people checked their judgments at the door. My hubby doesn't roll over but he does have these weird muscle spasms so I sleep with one arm around LO or on my husband so that I can feel him moving. I've got it down to a science. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652298 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:20:59 +0000 littlebittyhouse 652298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: how old is your LO? my 8.5mo old sleeps with us and the past few nights is now only waking once to nurse and the rest of the time just wants to snuggle. We were at 3-4 wakeups too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652281 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:15:24 +0000 plantains 652281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: i'm a big fan of doing what works for your family! If I let DD sleep in bed with us, my husband would most certainly roll on top of her.</p> <p>The extra cuddle time must be nice too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652279 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:13:26 +0000 plantains 652279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: I know you didn't mean it from a bad place, after all you didn't write it. I understand wanting to share information, but honestly, that article isn't informative it is incendiary. It makes all kinds of claims and assumptions without backing it up with anything and labels those who choose to sleep train as bad parents. </p> <p>Then I went to the front page of the blog and read this:<br /> <a href="http://www.alternative-mama.com/a-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby/" rel="nofollow">http://www.alternative-mama.com/a-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby/</a></p> <p>and it made my blood boil. It remided me of people who picket abortion clinics. Ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652274 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:11:46 +0000 Mrs. Twine 652274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never did for either of my girls (now 6 and 1 year). The oldest bed-shared with me until age 2.5 all night, then starting at 2.5 I would go in with her at her first night waking (usually around 2-3am) and sleep in her bed with her until she woke in the morning. Now at age 6 she falls asleep and stays asleep by herself in her own bed all night. She will come into our room first thing in the morning to say good morning, but she has never come in during the night to lay with us or sleep with us. She is a wonderfully independent sleeper and it was done with no CIO, no sleep training whatsoever, and in what felt to us like a very natural progression. We plan to do the same with this little one, but not necessarily on the same time-table. We'll just follow her cues. I would just say do what works, but add that if you think that some time not too far down the road you are going to want/need a change, it doesn't hurt to start preparing for that or heading in that direction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652267 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:09:20 +0000 mrsjazz 652267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: Yeah, she used to wake up 3-4 times a night--which was how she ended up in our bed because I'd fall asleep and forget to put her back in the co-sleeper. For the past week she's only woken up once around 3 a.m.--we're hoping it sticks.</p> <p>She sleeps better next to one of us. It might bite us in the ass in the long run but it works for us for now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652254 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:03:39 +0000 bunnylove08 652254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: @meredithNYC: sorry if the article totally put you off. I was just posting it for information and not saying this is the reason why you shouldn't sleep train. </p> <p>I think when people think of sleep train we automatically think of CIO. For me I'm having some issue with putting LO down drowsy but sleepy. We have a set routine and it works for us, but she does not know how to self sooth herself. She will rub her face and whine then the whine will go to a cry then full blown hysterics. I feel bad for her and dont know what to do. when she does this I pick her up and put the paci in her mouth and she will fall right asleep. sometimes it takes a little longer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652251 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:01:51 +0000 plantains 652251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: She only wakes up oince at night while in your bed? Amazing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train/page/2#post-652234 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 13:57:29 +0000 mrsjazz 652234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't do any sleep training methods and I agree, that article is very off-putting. I don't think it's fair or factual--every family does what works for them. I have friends that CIO and friends that don't and they are all wonderful parents who love the heck out of their children.</p> <p>I don't believe in CIO for my child. We tried it a couple of times and her cries go from 3 to 10 and keep rising higher and higher. 15 minutes was what we agreed we were comfortable on and then we both agreed we weren't even comfortable with that.</p> <p>We co-sleep, initially we used the Arm's Reach Co-sleeper but she grew out of that and is in bed with us now. She sleeps from 8/8:30 p.m. to 7/8 a.m. with one or two wake ups to nurse. Lately it's been down to one wake up at night.</p> <p>We do eventually want to move her to her crib (still in our room) and then move her to her room but we don't have a time frame. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-652201 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 13:46:57 +0000 mrsmenow 652201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mewtill: I think I might be what confused after reading this thread and the articles what consititutes sleep training too.</p> <p>We have always put our kids to bed sleppy but awake in their cribs pretty much right from the start. We will try to comfort them with out picking up as long as they aren't really needing comething. We don't co-sleep, but what we don't cry it out either. So far middle of the road has worked for us thank goodness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-652188 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 13:40:56 +0000 plantains 652188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: That article sounds horrible to me. Sorry, I know you were sharing but the tone is insanely preachy and holier-than-thou. I agree with @meredithNYC: it is totally off putting. </p> <p>I also am against routine co-bedding, I believe it is dangerous but everyone has to do what is right for thier family. My 9 month old is EBF. I let her CIO at 4.5 months because she was waking every 1.5 hours and not getting any rest. We CIO for going down at night but I responded and fed her for night wakings. By the end of the week she dropped the night wakings on her own and was sleeping through the night so she obviously didn't need to nurse every 1.5 hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-652129 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 13:27:24 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 652129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's so interesting to hear all the different scenarios people have gone/are going through. It just solidifies that every single baby is different - you never know what you'll end up doing to create a happy environment!</p> <p>LO is 5.5 months and not sleeping well. He was always a so-so sleeper, but know doesn't want to sleep alone (we were co-sleeping for most of the 5 months). I guess I don't know what constitutes sleep training? We have a bedtime routine, a set bedtime, and put him to sleep in his crib. If he fusses before we're ready for bed, we go in and slip our hand under his cheek to comfort him (this is after weeks of rocking). At 9 or 10, I dream feed and try to put him back in the crib. If he sleeps, great - he's there until midnight or so. If he resists, we bring him in bed with us. </p> <p>So far, he is mostly in his crib (with us helping comfort him) until midnight. He spends 12-6 in bed with us. We're hoping to keep him in his crib more at night little by little. Is this sleep training? I don't know :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-651817 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 11:15:21 +0000 mrskc 651817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meredithNYC: I don't think anyone on here sounds judgmental. People are just talking about their own experiences and that sleep training just wasn't right for their family. That doesn't mean that parents who sleep train are in the wrong. </p> <p>DS is 5 months and no sleep training yet. Does establishing a bedtime routine count as training? We just went thru a rough patch where we were considering, but it passed and his sleep has improved again. We may revisit the option of sleep training later down the road. But for now, it's working for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-651807 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 11:06:30 +0000 meredithNYC 651807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlebittyhouse: I agree that everyone should do what is right for them. I just wish some of the judgmental language (just to clarify - this definitely isn't directed at you!) surrounding this issue would stop. I think we all need to remember that sleep training (or not) is just one component among many when it comes to parenting. It will not make or break your child on its own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-651778 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:50:24 +0000 littlebittyhouse 651778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>awwww @meredithNYC: I'm sorry that you feel that way :( I think that every family has to do what is right for them. Sometimes I envy the people who have LOs that STTN! Sleep training just is not for us. At the end of the day we are all just trying to do what is best for our families and each family is different and that is OK IMO! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-651768 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:46:30 +0000 littlebittyhouse 651768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No sleep training for us. We did not want to CIO. We did successfully trade down sleep associations at about 6mo and he was only waking once to eat. My supply took a huge dive and since breastfeeding is so important to our family we decided to cosleep/cobed. LO has a great bedtime routine, goes to sleep happily in his crib and after his first wakeup at about 10pm comes in to bed with us. He's happy and thiriving, my supply is great and I'm well rested. I miss my snuggle time with DH sometimes but we also know that babyhood is fleeting and someday his little chubby baby hands are going to be teenage boy hands. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-651757 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:42:18 +0000 meredithNYC 651757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, like a couple of other commenters, I guess I was lucky in that sleep training wasn't too difficult. I mean, I guess it was hard for me in terms of being stuck to a strict schedule, but LO didn't really fight it. I started off just establishing a very tight bedtime routine around 6-8 weeks, then when LO was naturally down to one wake-up, which was around 2.5 months, we added a dream feed and that eliminated the one wake-up.</p> <p>I never let LO cry for more than 15-20 minutes, especially since I know that there is really something wrong when she has the occasional wake-up. It's so rare that I always think, okay, she really is in pain/afraid/in need of comfort, etc. And so I tend to go to her in those rare instances.</p> <p>I guess I just hate the implication that people who sleep train are bad parents. Frankly, it's all a matter of perspective. For what it's worth, my MIL thinks my SIL is a bad parent for not sleep training her LO because she thinks it's wrong to not help your child learn how to sleep. I don't happen to share MIL's view, but offer that example just to show that there are two sides to every story, so to speak. At the end of the day, if sometimes wants to convince me to not sleep train my next LO, they will not win me over by judging me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-651738 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:34:06 +0000 bunnylove08 651738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meredithNYC: which sleep training method did you end up using? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-651723 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 10:30:05 +0000 meredithNYC 651723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: I just took a look at this because, although I did sleep train my LO, I am always interested in alternative points of view. However, the judgmental and holier-than-thou tone completely turned me off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-651571 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 09:33:39 +0000 runsyellowlites 651571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bunnylove08: I recently came across this as well! it's a bit older (97, last updated in 04) BUT I'm pretty sure, biologically, it's still relevant.</p> <p><a href="http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-651546 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 09:18:15 +0000 bunnylove08 651546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just wanted to post a link of 8 reasons not to sleep train. <a href="http://www.alternative-mama.com/8-reasons-to-avoid-sleep-training-your-baby/" rel="nofollow">http://www.alternative-mama.com/8-reasons-to-avoid-sleep-training-your-baby/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-651035 Mon, 18 Mar 2013 21:59:10 +0000 dolphin 651035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Subscribing cuz I'm wondering the same thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-650401 Mon, 18 Mar 2013 15:52:20 +0000 MrsStar 650401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't (LO is 6 months tomorrow) She's a pretty good sleeper and usually only wakes once a night (sometimes she'll sleep right through). When we move to our new house I'll make an effort to help her fall asleep on her own but nothing yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-parents-not-sleep-train#post-649524 Mon, 18 Mar 2013 10:50:57 +0000 yellowbird 649524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is 6.5 months and we have not sleep trained. I've definitely considered it through regressions, but never pulled the trigger. I don't think we will. When she isn't sick she only wakes 1x a night to nurse. More wake ups are generally the result of being stuffy and needing our help to get comfortable which I'm happy to do. </p>