https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 05 Jun 2026 13:59:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919447 Thu, 08 Oct 2020 09:31:17 +0000 MrsSCB 2919447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: Yessss, we don't have an HOA and I'm a big fan of outsourcing. We have cleaners once a month, landscaping once a month, and lawn mowing once a week. We spent the first two years in this house thinking we'd deal with the garden beds/landscaping ourselves and....yeah, that didn't happen and they became a hot mess. My dream is to increase the cleaning to every other week, maybe if one of us gets a raise haha. But I'm with you, it really does make life so much easier, and I only have two kids. Plus three cats who may be messier than the kids :meh: lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919441 Wed, 07 Oct 2020 18:26:36 +0000 hilary 2919441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine are 7 and twins are 5. I work anywhere from 40-60 hours/week depending on what phase of projects we are in. I've always worked at least Fridays from home but now....all the days. My kids are in hybrid public school so go 5 mornings a week for a little under 3 hours and then have assignments and 1 online specials class each day. I have a lot of systems in place and the kids are old enough to help out (some with much prodding). However, DH only works 20ish hours a week on/at our rental properties so he does pick up/drop off. I facilitate the 7 year olds learning in the afternoon while working and he facilitates the twins. I love the pockets of time I get with the kids during the day (a short book here, 3 cartwheels in the yard there, taking a conference call while supervising a craft). I would miss all of that if I were back in the office full time. During busy times, I sign back in after putting the kids to bed and do a couple hours of work (bonus - no one bugs you from work!). It's sounds much more idyllic than reality. I do a million loads of laundry on the weekend and most of my cleaning. DH does some but his standards are lower than mine. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919436 Wed, 07 Oct 2020 11:58:43 +0000 cake2017 2919436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You all sound so amazing! You give me a lot of inspiration and hope that we could do it too! Thank you very much for sharing! Please continue to post if there are more of you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919422 Tue, 06 Oct 2020 15:40:37 +0000 nwm 2919422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have 3, they are 10 months, 2, and 4.5. I work as an attorney well more than full-time, about 45-55 hours a week. Basically we only make it work because we have an amazing full time nanny, plus additional help with school pickup and other stuff (grandparents used to help a lot but not since COVID :( ). We also treat parenting in shifts, so my husband's job starts and ends early while mine starts and ends late, so I do breakfast, school drop-off, etc., and he handles dinner. </p> <p>Working from home has actually helped a lot. Having no commute is fantastic, and I feel like I get a lot of random nice time with the kids that I never used to. I think I will go back to the office at some point, but will try to do 2-3 days a week working from home.</p> <p>But, I do like a solid third of my workday after the kids go to bed, sometimes a larger percentage. That also means that I basically have no time to myself except Friday and Saturday nights after bedtime, so I wind up staying up too late those nights too in an effort to get a small amount of relaxation in. I am tired all the time. My job really fills my cup rather than draining it, and I have never wanted to do SAH, so I think that's the only reason I'm able to "balance" it all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919420 Tue, 06 Oct 2020 13:48:01 +0000 agold 2919420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Toad: hi, do you and I have the same job? :silly: both you and @codeitall: make it sound exactly as I imagine if I have a third - my house will be a mess most of the week! As it is, i do a lot of cleaning each and every day. And yes, you will have to outsource the yard because it's just too much on top of it all. But to have a crazy little third running around does sound more fun than not, even if only a fraction so! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919419 Tue, 06 Oct 2020 13:44:32 +0000 Shantuck 2919419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have 3 - ages 8, 3 (will be 4 in 3 weeks), and 6 months. I work full time as an attorney (used to be 40+ hours; during Covid, my hours have been a little lower). I feel like we haven't really kicked in the tires with this having three kids thing because neither my husband and I have returned to our offices yet with the Covid situation and thus don't have a commute, don't have to look "office-ready", and are home to pick our elementary aged child from school and get him going on homework. In lots of ways, this Covid lifestyle has made a lot of things easier for us to transition to a family of 5 (also, all of our kids are at daycare or in-person school) but obviously this isn't a forever thing. I am a believer that we would have figured it out one way or another. I will say that baby #3 has been our chillest baby and best sleeper. With small children, the hard parts are just phases. I will say that I have been frustrated as of late that our weekends are just a marathon of laundry, dishes, bath times, nap times, etc. to prep for the week to come that I didn't experience on maternity leave. We do outsource whatever we can (grocery deliveries through Amazon Fresh, meal delivery through Hungry Root, cleaning service every two weeks, dry cleaning pick up and delivery, lawnmowing service, local gardening shop plants flowers in my planters, etc.). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919411 Tue, 06 Oct 2020 09:34:34 +0000 codeitall 2919411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: That's because you don't see how much of a mess my house is :silly: I'm just like @Mrs. Toad where the house gets cleaned like once a month. Weekends are dedicated to laundry and dishes and my kids eat nice cooked meals twice a week. The rest are snack/grazing meals and leftovers...<br /> We've chosen to rent in HOA so I don't have to do exterior or house maintenance, but that will change when we buy next year and I'll probably still outsource the yard work if I can :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919406 Mon, 05 Oct 2020 16:22:31 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2919406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have three that are each not quite 2.5 years apart in ages. They are currently newly 6, 3.5, and 15 months. </p> <p>I work full time salary without having to put in a specific number of hours. On average, since having the kids it's been 40ish hours a week. I don't officially take a lunch break and do occasionally work longer hours or weekends. I have a work phone now and do take calls on the weekends. As long as my work is done by deadline, I'm fine with hours.</p> <p>We have full time daycare/school for all three kids. Luckily, all is in person. </p> <p>DH was a SAHP for a few years, but prefers to work. It works because we split most of the chores and do a number of them on the weekend, often with the kids. My weekends are usually laundry, meal planning, and grocery shopping. His is often the yard. He cooks, I clean after dinner. I try to do more of the deep cleaning, but it just isn't my priority. Mostly, our house is dirty with cleaning done monthly.</p> <p>My biggest challenge is that I want more time to be able to play with the kids. I also want to be able to put them in other activities, but with our schedule, it hasn't been possible. They are in swimming, but I haven't been able to try anything else. They don't miss it though. It should be easier soon as my youngest will be much more flexible with nap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919404 Mon, 05 Oct 2020 15:49:01 +0000 Becky 2919404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>3 kids. Ages almost 7, 4, 3 months</p> <p>I technically work 40 hours, but right now don’t actually have enough work to fill that time. DH works 50-60. </p> <p>How do we do it? With LOTS of help. All of our family is very close by (under 12 minutes). 2 days a week the younger 2 go to daycare. 3 days a week they are split between our moms. Oldest is with me at home in the morning, at school 12:45-3:25, then back home with me. I could have worked from home before the pandemic, and now have to, and it makes a huge difference to not have to get all dressed and to be able to pump at home. </p> <p>I went back and forth a lot about having a third and scoured these boards a lot. I quit a very stressful job and went on anxiety meds and then I was sold on the idea.</p> <p>My husband insisted on waiting at least 4 years between 2 and 3 and that has made all the difference. DD1 and DD2 are only 2.5 years apart and it was so hard. They were basically self sufficient by the time DS was born which made things so much easier. They also LOVE him and are so helpful. They are the best entertainment and the reason I’m able to make dinner at night!</p> <p>I seriously say all the time how happy I am that we had him. He is a wonderful baby and I just love him so hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919401 Mon, 05 Oct 2020 12:58:00 +0000 agold 2919401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: you make this sound so easy!!!! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919400 Mon, 05 Oct 2020 09:56:08 +0000 codeitall 2919400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just had my 3rd, probably will have a 4th in the next 2 years. Ages: 5, 3, and 3 months.</p> <p>I usually work less than 40 hours, but I do have a tendency to talk work and think work after hours, so I think it evens out. For maternity, I negotiated 2 months full off and am currently going through 2 months part time.</p> <p>We knew our family wasn't done with 2, and now we know we aren't done with 3.</p> <p>Our two older kids go to daycare (they both need socialization for different reasons) and the baby currently stays home with me. DH and I work for the same company but different departments. He works 50 hours a week and is fitting in full-time school at the same time. Thus I'm actually trying to do most of the stuff around the house so he has time to study.</p> <p>Logistics are hard. My state has half day kindergarten and I have no idea how we'd do it without the Covid online option. I currently hop on in the morning to engage with my EMEA coworkers, yell at the kids to get ready while I'm on mute, and then have a meeting block for the 30 min it takes to drop them off at daycare and get home. Daycare takes the 3yo to preschool and I homeschool the 5yo for kindergarten after I pick them up at 3:30.</p> <p>I have plans to move at the end of the year to a state that offers all-day kindergarten. Transporting my 5yo from part time kindergarten to/from daycare would have killed an extra hour a day for me. We are at a daycare that does not transport to our zoned school, but we picked smaller for Covid exposure concerns.</p> <p>Honestly, the baby is the easiest of the 3. I learned lots from my older kids, so I trained the baby to go to sleep independently. That has made a HUGE difference being able to pop her in the crib with her first yawn. DH working from home means that we can swap baby-watching/holding duty as needed too.</p> <p>Without Covid, I'd have all 3 kids in a daycare that did school transportation. Maaaaybe have considered a nanny.</p> <p>I plan on working remotely next year, having the 2 youngest in daycare and sending my oldest on the bus to/from school at the normal times, no before/aftercare. He's a big independent player who loves time to play legos without siblings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919389 Sun, 04 Oct 2020 01:01:44 +0000 Pumuckl 2919389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 4 are 2x 3.5, 5.5 and 7.5 years old. For us we always wanted 2 or 3 and we’ll when no. 2 was 1 we were like we can handle another one. Well and no. 3 turned out to be LO3 &amp; LO4. I wouldn’t change it for the world. </p> <p>I work 32h on 5 days a week. I work from a homeoffice that isn’t in our home if that makes sense. I got the opportunity to move the office out of the house and I really enjoy not being stuck in the house all the time. </p> <p>Is it always easy: No, but I think I would go crazy if I didn’t work. We have to fit some doctors and speech and Physio appointments in there which sometimes lets it get crazy but we make it work. </p> <p>I am not sure I could work as much if my DH didn’t handle his part of chores and childcare. So usually I do mornings and get everyone ready in the morning and then take them to Preschool, Kindergarten and School. Also I handle most of the therapy and doctors appointments in the mornings. DH then picks up in the afternoon and we meet for dinner at home then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919372 Sat, 03 Oct 2020 14:00:40 +0000 LemonJack 2919372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ages: 6, 3, 10 months</p> <p>Hours: full time during the school year (teacher)</p> <p>What made us have three: I always wanted three. I used to joke that three was my two. I was super nervous to go from two to three, but knew I’d regret it if I didn’t have the third. I have a complete sense of peace now and am ready to move on to the next stage of parenting! I didn’t have that with two. DH has said he would be willing to have four, but three is my limit.</p> <p>Challenges: Time. This is compounded by Covid, but there just isn’t any time. I don’t have a moment to myself. And it’s exhausting. And the house is a mess and laundry piles up, and it’s hard to keep track of it all. I’m also worried about sick days. With Covid and stricter restrictions, and with two of us working full time, I’m worried about how we’ll manage if the kids are sick a bunch this winter. There’s a part of me that would love to take a leave of absence or stay at home for a few years, but I also really enjoy my team and my job and would have a hard time leaving the group of people I work with.</p> <p>I remember reading through comments like these when I was on the fence about three. I was most nervous about how my life would change. And, it has changed of course. But honestly, even on the crappy days, and the nights when the kids are all losing it, I’m incredibly happy and content to have these three. They already have such a bond. It’s especially adorable to see the relationship between our six year old and the baby. She’s old enough to really get it, so she’s like a mother hen. She carts him around the house, reads to him, plays with him, and just generally dotes on him. His whole face lights up whenever he sees her. It’s the best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919370 Sat, 03 Oct 2020 12:58:33 +0000 Mama Bird 2919370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have three, from 1.5 to 7. I work 40 hours a week (somewhat flexible hours) but was on a long maternity leave with the youngest. </p> <p>When I was home I was with just the baby till 2 pm, then all three once school let out. I liked it, except for one thing. If I got really sick, who would watch them? It was the one reason I was looking forward to going back to work and no longer being "on" 24-7. I was planning to finally figure out some health stuff that had been bothering me, but that wasn't meant to be. I was only in the office two months, and then coronavirus happened. Now I'm putting off going to the doctor again, because if it's something serious, I can't drop all the home stuff on DH while I deal with it. </p> <p>Now, work logistics. The plan was to have the older kids in school and afterschool, and baby in day care. What happened instead was remote learning in the spring, while baby (who had just learned to walk) ran wild and tore up the apartment. We managed to keep her from falling off furniture and running with knives, but all the walls are still covered in her graffiti. Thankfully my husband was on leave for part of the spring, and my office put everyone on a reduced schedule, but I still burned through a lot of vacation time just to make 32 hours a week.</p> <p>Now I'm back to 40 hours. Public school has reopened a month late and in very reduced capacity (1-2 days a week live, the rest remote). Between this and the kids' mental health suffering from isolation, we ended up sending the older two to private school. We can't really afford it long-term, but it's the price of me keeping my job. We can't afford to also send the youngest to day care, so she's home with us. The irony... of all my kids, she's the most social. The others would have loved to stay home at that age, but she's not a happy camper. But what can you do. Working is easier with only one LO to entertain, but planning days when I need to do field visits is a whole thing, because DH has to find a window of several hours in his schedule when he's not running any meetings.</p> <p>But at least I'm not losing 2.5 hours every day on commuting, or frantically evaluating what to do if one of the kids looks "off" but I can't reschedule a walk-through with five other people. I don't miss that part at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919369 Sat, 03 Oct 2020 10:31:08 +0000 cake2017 2919369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great posts! Yes my hours are great and I am home at 315pm 4 days a week. I have three day weekends and they are with me all day. I think it’s more of the transitions and milestones that stress me although it’s temporary. We don’t have a nanny or au pair. mom helped for a few months before they went to daycare but they started at almost 2 years old. </p> <p>I just don’t want to regret not having one more.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919367 Sat, 03 Oct 2020 07:43:53 +0000 JennyPenny 2919367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine are 6, 3, and 5 months. I work 35 hrs/wk, which is what my company considers full time. For me, I think what makes it work is that my husband and I both work for the same family-friendly company. We have on-site subsidized child care, flexible work schedules and unlimited sick leave. We even have 20hrs per year that we can use to volunteer at our kids schools! I haven’t actually worked out of the home with 3 yet because of covid, but my guess is it has to be easier than trying to work with all 3 at home with me... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919366 Sat, 03 Oct 2020 04:17:09 +0000 JCCovi 2919366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine are 7, 5, and 3 mo.</p> <p>I worked full-time (40-50 hrs, 4-5 days per week) with a nanny at my place of work for the first 3.5 years of motherhood. Then I took a year off and went back part-time remote with the kids in pre-school. My baby is home with me and we haven’t come up with childcare yet because of Covid, but my big two go back to school Monday! My first 3 weeks back from maternity leave my husband has taken half-days of paternity leave and we’ve traded off, but he’s going to experiment with a full week next week as well. Hoping I can work around nap time. If not, I’ll probably try to wake up early get 2 hours in and then just field emails during the day.</p> <p>I will say, I’ve found that I want to be home for them more when they are elementary age then I did in their infancy. Picking them up from school and hearing about their day is important to me. Working part-time (with tons of flexibility) is perfect for me.</p> <p>We are hoping for 1 more so my baby can have a sibling closer in age, but this pregnancy really wrecked my body so we’ll see. I’m in physical therapy and hoping to repair some damage. I’m sure I would need child care to get any work done if we have a 2nd, but I guess I will anyway once this little one is walking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919365 Fri, 02 Oct 2020 20:10:13 +0000 ChitownRo 2919365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I don’t know if this is what you want to hear. </p> <p>I worked 30-35 hours/week (not including commute) - but got paid for 24 hours/week part time. I just quit and am now SAHM as of Labor Day.<br /> My kids are now 2,4,6. </p> <p>When we had our baby, we hired an au pair (rather than the nanny we had been using). Trump has now blocked au pair visas (and honestly who would want to come to the dumpster fire that is the US right now). Our au pairs were wonderful - would do kid laundry on top of childcare.<br /> After the au pair program was halted, I decided to quit my job bc I’d return to paying my whole salary to a nanny. That didn’t feel worth it given covid exposure at my job (oncology nurse practitioner at a big hospital) and uncertain school environment for the big kids. </p> <p>It may be a honeymoon period, but I’m loving SAHM so far. I was literally always behind and stressed about home stuff, work, etc. </p> <p>I’m personally of the opinion now that I couldn’t have it all. I recognize now that I was drowning. My job was super fulfilling and I was so good at it - but it’s not like talking about death and dying all day was a real break from the kids. I’d be happy if I peed or at any food by 3p</p> <p>Anyway, I think the decision to have more kids depends on what your job is and how much you have family to help (either DH or your extended family). And if they will actually take the mental load off of you... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/any-working-mamas-with-3-or-more-children#post-2919362 Fri, 02 Oct 2020 19:02:57 +0000 cake2017 2919362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How do you do it?<br /> How many and ages?<br /> How many hours a week do you work?<br /> What made you have 1 and more...?<br /> What are your challenges?</p> <p>We didn’t really “try” with our two now. We’ve always been “not preventing “. </p> <p>I work 40 hours a week- 4 days a week.<br /> 3.5/14months children ages<br /> Lots of prayer and patience but it’s hard. I don’t want to stay home full time. I have the luxury to take off whenever I want for any time period- my children attend very good preschools and although it’s expensive I sometimes wonder if we should expand- I just don’t know how it would work? I don’t know if I can “handle” 3 mentally.... so wondering how do others do it? </p>