https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Jul 2026 15:45:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230406 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 18:06:32 +0000 edelweiss 230406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>thanks for this thread. i'm still pregnant but i never thought about this question and just assumed that everyone had the rush of love and immediate bonding--it's good to know there is a range of experiences, and that it's pretty common not to feel totally bonded right away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230287 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 13:49:55 +0000 kgbee 230287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did not have the hyped overwhelming rush at birth thing. He took a while to cry, so there was a lot of rubbing and jostling and activity going on immediately afterward. This after a long, hard labor -- my only response was, "C'mon little dude, we got through all of that, you're not going to give up on me now. Let's go." I was exhausted, too, for a couple of days. I remember being happy to meet him, and glad that he was out okay and safely, but it took days before I said "I love you" and weeks before I felt all glowy and fuzzy at him. I didn't have any PPD, and I am typically a super emotional person. It felt more like things made sense once he was out, like everything was complete, more than being overwhelmed by it all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230237 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 12:43:23 +0000 rachiecakes 230237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I checked 'other'. While I did love him immediately, I had on overwhelming "holy f&amp;$&amp;,;$(.$)))$?$!$!!!" moment when he was born, like, a human came out of my body! He had a collapsed lung when he was born and thinking back I can't believe I was as calm as I was but I was really calm and focused giving birth, too,.. And I'm usually a spaz.<br /> In the first few weeks though I cried over every song. I still get teary about things I would've have before having him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230226 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 12:29:04 +0000 loveisstrange 230226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You know... I don't honestly remember. There was so much going on... I think I just kind of remember feeling numb and confused and terrified because she came out purple and wasn't crying. I would venture to say no, I didn't.</p> <p>It honestly took a couple weeks before I really felt the tugging on my heartstrings. I couldn't love her squishy little face any more now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230208 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 11:50:32 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 230208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't been through childbirth either but a close friend who just has told me she experienced the same time you did, so i'll chime in with her story.<br /> She told them NOT to put the baby on her immediately after pulling him out and they did and all she could manage to say was "OOOkkkk, he's is bloody, please wash him!"<br /> And she feels SO bad that she reacted that way but it was her 100% natural reaction. She says she felt like she loved him as in "I hope he is alright" but she wasn't crying and kissing him every 2 seconds.<br /> She didn't suffer from anything but she did say it took a good couple of weeks to be like "hey, i'm obsessed with this kid"..<br /> She was never expecting herself to be that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230191 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 11:32:56 +0000 mrs. wagon 230191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got emotional with both deliveries, but I definitely didn't feel the whole immediate bond, etc. with either. It took several weeks or maybe months with Wagon Jr. and it's taking several days to a week with Lil Miss Wagon. I felt a little guilty about it the first time around, but not this time. Everyone is different (and all hormonal levels are different!) and it doesn't affect how good of a mother you are and will be. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230189 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 11:31:07 +0000 BeachMama 230189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely did not feel the big rush of emotion. I never really thought I would because I've never been a big baby person and throughout the pregnancy I never felt a huge bond with her. Also, I labored for 16 hours and ended up with a c section so I don't know if you get the same rush of hormones and I was so tired by the time they delivered her that I kept falling asleep on the table. </p> <p>The first 4-6 weeks were Very difficult for me. She cried so much and I just couldn't deal with it. I screamed and cried at her and honestly didnt like her very much. I really thought i had made a mistake in having a baby. Meanwhile my MIL was there saying things like "you never really know what love is til you have a child" and I just felt like the worst mom ever. </p> <p>Now at 8 weeks things are much better. She is less fussy and more interactive. We still have our moments when I get frustrated but I haven't cried for a while (well except when I found out my MIL is coming to stay for a week! SO not looking forward to that!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230181 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 11:27:03 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 230181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aunt pol: They are precious, but I can just picture what a blur that time was for you. I think moms of multiples deserve a badge of honor. Seriously, you've worked harder in two months than I have in two years! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230176 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 11:16:53 +0000 leelee 230176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also expected to feel it but didn't. I think alot of it had to do with shock that after 9 months she was here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230173 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 11:12:33 +0000 aunt pol 230173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: that's it exactly, we're still really glorified body slaves to these two demanding little tyrants! It's v hard to feel the love when your every waking hour is feed burp change and they don't even smile, never mind say thanks! Sive started smiling two weeks ago and Evelyn this week so that really helps. I've never had anyone so happy to see me before! </p> <p>Also mums of multiples are apparently twice as likely to suffer from pnd. So maybe I had a close shave but was lucky enough to dodge it. </p> [attach=1956/12/m7kl7o.600x800.image.jpeg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230167 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 10:58:24 +0000 yoursilverlining 230167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't feel any rush of love/emotion when LO was born. In fact, my OB commented that I looked "shell shocked" while I was doing skin-to-skin with LO right after they gave her to me. I never felt that connected to her while I was pregnant, never cried during pregnancy, etc. I'm not really a very emotional person in general (never cried when getting engaged or getting married either, and like OP, I take the cat to the vet because I can be more emotionally divided about things). </p> <p>Within a week of giving birth, I was diagnosed with PPD and started meds/counseling. My counselor assured me that many (maybe even most?) women don't burst out crying and experience overwhelming love and life changing feelings like everyone does in the movies. I think it's hard because we're basically told that this is how we "should" feel, while in real life, a lot of women don't feel that way. From the start, I cared about LO and wanted to do what was best by/for her and to make sure she felt loved at all times, even if I didn't really feel it at first. It was hard, because I felt like a crappy person/mother because I thought I would just naturally feel a huge outburst of overwhelming love, and I just didn't. Our bonding is growing over time and at 6 weeks, things are much better now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230085 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 08:55:48 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 230085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aunt pol: I'd imagine that it's exceedingly hard with twins to even have the time in the early weeks to make that bond. At that point it's all about survival. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230028 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 06:14:48 +0000 heffalump 230028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first thought was who is this baby, why is she on my chest, did they get sneaky and have another baby waiting that they switched out? I'm not sure why I thought that..... I'm going to assume it was all the hormones. I was so confused because I knew I had to breastfeed but I didn't know the baby that I was letting sick on my boobs. And that was soooooo weird to me. That didn't last long though, the love and bonding quickly came. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230026 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 05:42:28 +0000 Rubies 230026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted "other" - when I gave birth I was so relieved and overwhelmed with this baby but I was in so much pain and it was chaotic in my room with so many things going on that I couldn't concentrate on my baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230023 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 05:01:36 +0000 aunt pol 230023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting range of experiences there. I didn't expect to have The Rush because I'm usually not a very emotional person - I'm always the one that has to bring dogs to the vet as I'm the most pragmatic about whatever happens (even though I do love our dogs), for example. So I don't think I felt any less of a mother for it, to be honest I didn't really feel like a mother at all. The first two months were very hard, wouldn't say terrible. But if somehow we had discovered at about four weeks that there had been a mix up and the twins weren't ours, I wouldn't have been devastated to pack their bags and send them off to their real family! I love them now, but it definitely was a bond that had to grow and since the smiles and giggles kicked in a couple weeks ago it's been a lot easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-230010 Sun, 22 Jul 2012 01:31:53 +0000 lemondrop 230010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely didn't feel it right after birth, and wasn't sure how I would feel beforehand. I wasn't really sure what to do with him and was more overwhelmed with the events of the previous 8 hours of very fast labor. </p> <p>It started to kick in on day 2 when he had to stay in the NICU with the bili lights, I had a very hard time leaving him there. Now I love him so much more every day, and have really enjoyed him from about 7-8 weeks old. </p> <p>My husband on the other hand fell head over heels the instant Cam held his finger at minutes old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-229932 Sat, 21 Jul 2012 21:13:57 +0000 mom2b2agirl 229932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was the one thing i looked forward to having experienced it with my nieces and nephew when they were born. Baby girl was rushed off after delivery and i didnt get to see her for way too long.<br /> I really wish things were different but at 10 weeks old, i get a feeling i think is close enough every morning when she wakes up smiling. Love her :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-229930 Sat, 21 Jul 2012 21:03:50 +0000 Mrs. Bee 229930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i didn't expect to feel it, and i didn't. but i definitely it more the second time around! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-229883 Sat, 21 Jul 2012 19:28:26 +0000 Mrs. Pen 229883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was really, REALLY worried about this as well. I had a hard time with my pregnancy, a hard time coming to terms with the pregnancy and really embracing it. </p> <p>I thought I wouldn't feel that rush of emotion either.<br /> However, the last week of my pregnancy I developed pre-eclampsia and when the thought of potentially losing my baby surfaced and consumed my thoughts, I all of a sudden realized I would be DEVASTATED to lose my baby, and that's how I knew I was in love with him. So the moment he was in my arms I was SO happy because I knew he was safe and that I had "missed" him. But I do wonder, if I hadn't had that scare, if it would have been more like your experience? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-229882 Sat, 21 Jul 2012 19:27:52 +0000 Mrs.B 229882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt a huge rush with DS. It was overwhelmning and I sobbed as soon as he came out and was put on my chest I loved him so much. I can't even explain how much I was in love with him at that moment and still am. With LO #2 I expect to feel the same way when he/she is born. This will be DH's first child and our first child together. I am very excited to share in this experience with DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-229880 Sat, 21 Jul 2012 19:26:35 +0000 keiki_mama 229880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also did not feel a great rush of love for my LO at birth. I cared for him and didn't want him to be uncomfortable but it certainly wasn't love at first sight. For what it's worth, I was also diagnosed with PPD. Now at four months I love my little rascal and wouldn't trade him for a thing! The first six weeks of his life was an awful period of time for me and I shudder to think back. People kept asking me,"Wasn't it the greatest feeling in the world?!" Um... no actually, it was not. It made me feel like less of a mom because I didn't have that initial rush of love for my LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-229876 Sat, 21 Jul 2012 19:22:49 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 229876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like you I was pretty sure I wouldn't feel that and I was stunned that I did with Lala. With M it was much more as you described. I was more worried about whether the baby needed more resuscitation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-229873 Sat, 21 Jul 2012 19:16:37 +0000 meredithNYC 229873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also was waiting for the huge, overwhelming rush of love, but didn't have it. Honestly, I felt kind of like a failure even though I wasn't in control of my reaction. For what it's worth, I also had postpartum depression. My daughter is now 8 weeks and I would say it took me to about week 5 or 6 to start really bonding with her. It sucks, but that's just how it was. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-else-not-have-the-big-hormonal-rush-of-love-for-lo-at-birth#post-229866 Sat, 21 Jul 2012 19:05:41 +0000 aunt pol 229866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Show of hands, ladies.<br /> I'd heard all about the amazing emotional high when you give birth and how fantastic that all is. I'd also heard plenty of women don't feel that at all.<br /> I had a suspicion I'd be in the latter group and I was right: when I saw the babas I was relieved they were out of me safe and well and that both of them were healthy, but it really took me most of the last two months to grow to love them.<br /> I had mentioned the possibility to my SILs in the third trimester and they were very quick to poo poo the idea that I wouldn't experience that high. DH even reckons expecting it, and then not getting it, is possibly linked to PND for some women- caring for a newborn is difficult enough, and harder if you don't have that bond to get you through, and presumably harder still if you worry over the lack of instant love for your baby. I feel that because my expectations of childbirth were comparatively low, I wasn't disappointed. </p> <p>What was everyone else's experience like? </p>