https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 14:11:16 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-284060 Thu, 06 Sep 2012 12:31:44 +0000 Mrs.Ham 284060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have decided that we won't be telling anyone when we TTC. The Mr.'s parents are SO READY for a grandbaby - his mom brings it up every time we see them! My parents are already grandparents 8 times over, so they'll be excited but aren't in a hurry. I have a SIL who will be very sad if we wind up having kids before her, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-284055 Thu, 06 Sep 2012 12:27:45 +0000 Mrsbells 284055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would only share the news after I was already pregnant, life is so much simpler that way </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-284010 Thu, 06 Sep 2012 11:59:00 +0000 Chillybear 284010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have both - on one hand my mom has been preaching for years to wait until we're 30, but when i told her we may start trying she was very excited. I have three very close girlfriends that all had babies in the last year they all want me to join with them and have a kid. Even hubs has a couple friends that are trying to convince us to have a kid, but i dont think they get how much things will change. my inlaws were pretty anti grandkids but my BIL &amp; SIL had their baby in june and they seemed to have done a 180</p> <p>I dont think my office would be very enthused if i got pregnant, mostly just bc theyd have to deal with coverage and maternity leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283934 Thu, 06 Sep 2012 11:03:35 +0000 mrsmenow 283934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL HATES being a Grandma and actually quit talking to DH for about 6 months after we told her we were expecting DD #2 (#1 has a different Dad). SHe said she wasn't ready to be a Grandma and didn't see DD until she was a month old. </p> <p>She still rarely sees us, a couple of times a year. DD's Bday was yesterday and she always schedules vacations over the Labor day weekend so she doesn't have to come to the party. I feel bad for her that she is missing out just because she is so insecure (she says she is too young to be a Grandma.)</p> <p>My case is such an extreme, I don't know too many people who's family doesn't jump on board once the littl epeanut is here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283903 Thu, 06 Sep 2012 10:36:16 +0000 autumnlove 283903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My wedding was planned for last fall but we found out we were pregnant and we pushed it up to the early summer. My MIL was not pleased...mostly because she started some costly renovations on her home to impress her family for their stay in Oct. Her family could not attend our summer wedding and MIL brought up the wasted money throughout my pregnancy...<br /> She hasn't mentioned any of this stuff since LO was born! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283892 Thu, 06 Sep 2012 10:28:00 +0000 MrsBrewer 283892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think both my family and DH's family think we should wait to TTC, and so do we! Although my best friend thinks we should right now! :-) (she has an 10 month old right now) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283888 Thu, 06 Sep 2012 10:25:43 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 283888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my ILs were less than thrilled when we told them we were expecting. It took them a good three months to get used to the idea. I hope that doesn't happen for you!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283831 Thu, 06 Sep 2012 09:50:55 +0000 rachiecakes 283831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@maybebaby: and I love your icon. that is my favorite kitchen item :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283830 Thu, 06 Sep 2012 09:50:07 +0000 rachiecakes 283830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only told one friend that we were TTC. I was the first out of my group of very close friends and one of them did immediately stop calling to go out, started blowing me off every time we had plans to get nails done, go out to eat/shop/etc. Whatever.<br /> My other best friend got pregnant just after DS was born and is due in 4 weeks (she's also on HB!), I feel so blessed and am super excited to share this time in my life with my bestie. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283748 Thu, 06 Sep 2012 09:05:32 +0000 LazyLightning 283748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a friend who's a single guy and I know he won't be excited when we get pg. He's vocalized over and over how much he dislikes children and doesn't want any. But, oh well.. we can't make those choices based on a friend's opinion, you know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283380 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 20:26:14 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 283380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that if we had asked them, several people would have told us to wait. But we didn't and we're happy with our decision. Once I was pregnant people were excited for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283290 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 19:04:55 +0000 rawrasaur 283290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were pretty wary of sharing the news of pregnancy with anyone, let alone that we were going to try. We got pregnant the first month we tried, so the reality of having to tell came faster than I was prepared for. </p> <p>Everyone has been supportive (except my husbands parents), but I feel like I have to defend or explain our choice. It isn't that they say anything that makes me feel like they aren't excited for us, it is just that I want them to know this is very much wanted and planned and not assume otherwise. </p> <p>@highwire: It was 5 months after our wedding for us as well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283284 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 18:50:40 +0000 Rubies 283284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My hubs and I were the last to get married among our group of friends but the first (and still only) to have a baby and I'm happy to say that everyone was so excited for us! Our social lives have changed quite a bit but they are always happy to come see us and visit. </p> <p>Different strokes for different folks. You and your husband know what is best for the two of you and whatever you choose, everyone else will just have to deal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283278 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 18:44:00 +0000 maybebaby 283278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This thread reassures me a) that it is normal to have people in your life you feel might be super excited and b) for the most part, people get over their feelings and are able to be excited for you. Thanks for all your input! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283201 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 16:37:53 +0000 Mrs. Train 283201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I got pregnant with my fourth I knew Not everyone would be excited. I especially knew my cousin and his wife would not be happy. She wants kids and he wants to wait so she has mega baby bug but they aren't even trying yet. I had to invite her to my baby shower because she's family and it would be rude not to but she sat in another room the whole time with my aunt and didn't talk to anyone or participate at all. </p> <p>The only thing I can say is to each his own. I can't base my life plans around other people so that's just how it goes. Now they don't talk to us at all but that's their choice. The people who you really want around will stay in your life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283119 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 15:22:26 +0000 chibee 283119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is basically the reason I didn't tell any of my friends about TTC - none of them are in the same place as I am in life - some are still single, some are in serious relationships and are just beginning to move in with their boyfriends/girlfriends - so they can't possibly understand my desire to add a baby into the mix. Since they aren't anywhere close to being ready for a baby, they won't understand why I am. Plus it is such a bummer when you're really excited about something and your friends can't possibly understand what all the fuss is about. So it'll be a big surprise when I do finally get pregnant, and I won't even tell them until way into my pregnancy. </p> <p>On the other hand, my mom I think has been ready for me to have a baby from the minute I got engaged. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283036 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 14:09:14 +0000 chopsuey 283036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom thought we should wait a bit since DH and I only knew each other 2 months before we got married. Haha.<br /> I got pregnant 8 months after we got married!<br /> We're happy as clams though and expecting #2 in December! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-283024 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 13:57:48 +0000 Modern Daisy 283024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, in July we hosted an amazing weekend at the beach with 12 of our friends - some couples and some singles but no kids. We stayed up till at least 4am both nights drinking, hot-tubbing and generally going wild during the day. The weather was perfect and it was the most fun I've had in years. After we got back home it hit me that if we get pregnant now, we'll never have another weekend like that again - at least not for a really really long time.</p> <p>Our parents also make contradictory statements to us. They're usually passive aggressive like 'in general' it's better to wait to have kids. Then the next day they'll spout off stats about how much worse it is for the child the older the Mom is. So I know we can't win with them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-282972 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 13:31:43 +0000 DillonLion 282972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Ditto. My parents were married for 5 years before I was born and suggested a similar path for us. Well, we only waited 5 months. Ha! They've been nothing but excited regardless. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-282967 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 13:29:47 +0000 Foodnerd81 282967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both our families are so, SO ready for us to have kids. Like, crazy ready. Our friends are just now really starting to have kids, so the dynamic is changing anyway, which I'm totally happy with. We do have a few friends who I think are a little bummed about it all changing and they seem to be making an effort to keep things "fun" with the non parents, but I'm totally ready for the change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-282928 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 13:15:47 +0000 blackbird 282928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents had discouraged us from having kids too quickly for years. Babies are work, you have time, blah blah blah. It got to the point where I started to feel like they would be less than thrilled once i got pregnant. Well, of course, it was anything but :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-282926 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 13:14:40 +0000 heffalump 282926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm the first out of my friends to have a baby and they were plenty excited for me! I think that there was an issue when I had LO because they didn't quite understand how important having a baby is because they haven't gone through it.... just like they didn't understand how important my wedding was to me as they've never gotten married. One friend waited a whole month to come meet my LO and that really did hurt my feelings. I don't think she meant any harm by it, I think she just really didn't know any better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-282920 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 13:11:12 +0000 DillonLion 282920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@maybebaby: I wanted to add that all of our friends are very, very excited for us and have been very supportive. So, their hearts are definitely in the right place. And similar to your situation, I have a feeling they will be ready for kids really soon - in the next few years or so. It has been nice to have them still be in their carefree days so we can enjoy our last few ounces of time before our lives are changed forever, so I'm still glad to have them in our lives, exactly as they are (well I could do without the drinking/drugs/guns, but you know what I mean!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-282919 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 13:09:50 +0000 maybebaby 282919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: That's good to hear and what I am hoping! I just don't want to ever have to defend the choices that my husband and I make--to anyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-282916 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 13:09:11 +0000 maybebaby 282916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: That's what I think it will be like for us, when the time comes. We will still see those people but you have to give up things for the health and happiness of your family. I think that these friends will be in the same boat in the next few years, which I look forward to. In the meantime during this TTC stage, I need to remind myself to enjoy this last chance to be young and free before the exciting next stage. I do think when the time comes they will come around and be happy for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-282902 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 13:02:55 +0000 DillonLion 282902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was thinking about this last night. We are the first of our friends to kind of move forward in this area, and after a semi-wild weekend (involving drinking, drug use, gun shooting - not by me personally, but I was in the same house all weekend), I realized that things are going to change pretty drastically for us once the baby is here, in terms of who we hang out with and what we do with them. I don't expect any of our friends to change for us since obviously it was our own decision to have kids, but I'm pretty sure I'm just not going to be able to spend time with them the way we used to, and potentially not at all if the same activities are going to continue. It sucks, but I have to put my child first, from now on, and that's just how it has to be.</p> <p>Obviously, the people in our lives are not in the child bearing area of their lives yet, which is fine. But we are, and we need to do everything in our power to make sure we and our kids are in safe environments 100% of the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-282899 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 13:02:00 +0000 googly-eyes 282899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It seems to me that even if they weren't ready when you decided to TTC, people just naturally get excited about babies when you get pregnant! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-friends-fam-not-ready-for-you-to-ttc#post-282895 Wed, 05 Sep 2012 12:55:40 +0000 maybebaby 282895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I just started TTC, and no one knows except for us (ha, obviously) and one close friend, the only female friend I have who has kids (a 2 yr old and a 5 month old--we figured she would be a good source of advice and support!)</p> <p>We are not telling our friends and family for several reasons. 1, we don't want unsolicited advice. 2, if it takes a while, we don't want people constantly asking how's it going, etc..</p> <p>Finally, I don't want to share this news with others because I am afraid people will judge us or not be happy for us. I know at the end of the day, our friends and family will come around and be so excited for us if and when the time comes. We've been married since June of last year, DH is 28, and I will be 28 early next year. Most of our friends are coupled off and just recently got married--and most are not thinking about TTC for several years. I worry that these friends would at first be bummed--like oh, our social circle is going to change. Perhaps I am just projecting. </p> <p>In terms of family, I know his family would be pretty excited--he is one of 5 and his parents started at age 22, so in their eyes we need to get on that! haha. And his grandmother is SO begging for great grandbabies. But I think my parents for some reason still have trouble realizing I am not their little girl anymore and might have a hard time processing it.</p> <p>Obviously, it is only up to me and DH to decide that we are ready, and we are. And that is why we are not sharing with others--so we are only taking into account our little family and what WE are ready for.</p> <p>Anyone else feel the same way? </p>