https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 21:26:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-900277 Tue, 02 Jul 2013 07:00:32 +0000 mrs. bird 900277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@scg00387: I don't know that I'd call it dim, I think it's realistic. Most girls are coming from places where drinking under 21 is allowed, smoking is still very common in Europe and they've all been outgoing enough to leave everything behind for something temporary. So just personality wise, I don't think you're looking at homebodies adverse to taking risks. A lot of my feelings come from my experiences with au pairs, I'm sure other ppl with different experiences would feel differently. Granted that's also me admitting my fair share of partying when I was younger, but I wasn't going home to my bosses and a house with kids. I am still close with 2 girls that came as au pairs and think their families were very lucky. I wouldn't leave an infant with a teenager that would spend more waking hours with them than I did, be it an American college student or foreign au pair, it just wouldn't be something I'd be comfortable with and I wouldn't want to live with someone in their partying prime. So au pairs are probably a better fit for someone else, not my cup of tea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-900171 Tue, 02 Jul 2013 00:52:17 +0000 SugarplumsMom 900171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been curious about this since it's really common for Swedish girls to be an au pair for a year (think Elin, Tiger Wood's ex). It's a way for them to experience another county on their own. Most come from good families, for example, Elin's mom is a governor. I think most actually have previous experience with kids. But having said this, I don't know of anyone that's ever had an au pair back in the States. So I'm kind of curious who actually has them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-900130 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 23:17:11 +0000 Anagram 900130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of my best friends (and bridesmaid) first came to the US for a year an an au pair. I have no idea which program she used, but I know they had to do a training program once they arrived in the states, and that they had an au pair meet-up/questions/training thing once a month to go to.</p> <p>The kids my friend had were in school (one was in school only 1/2 day) and the mom of the house only worked part time. The family did provide her with a car to drive, her own cell phone and plan, and of course her own bedroom. She did go to school part time (maybe less than part time?) at night. She seems to have really liked that year, although she said sometimes one of the kids was particularly bratty in an entitled way. Like he would make fun of her accent and always say he was going to "tell on her" if she said things wrong (English is not her first language) or if he didn't get his way.</p> <p>Since she was a 19 year old in the country for the first time, I think the whole "tell on her" thing really upset her. Apparently the family had a pretty good amount of money and it showed in the way the kids behaved sometimes.</p> <p>But she did make a lot of friends (other au pairs) through the program and she got to see a lot of the US (she had set hours and usually had weekends off to do whatever).</p> <p>Seems like a pretty good deal for both parties, if the family has the space and money. One small thing to think about is cultural differences. Ironically, my friend (who has now been living in the US for 8 years) is now dating a guy whose married sister has an au pair from Brazil. They all went on family vacation to the beach together, and the Au Pair was always wearing a thong bikini (even when watching the children), which made all the women a little...uncomfortable.</p> <p>Of course, that's totally normal in Brazil, but not so much in the southern US. haha All the women kept wondering how to say something, and in the end...no one did and the nanny just wore her thong bikinis all week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-900127 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 23:11:41 +0000 erwoo 900127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A good friend of ours has an au pair from China. She's in her mid-twenties and did go to school but it was on the weekends and it was only in the beginning. I guess their schooling is something you work out with them. They weren't lucky enough to have an au pair who can cook good food though. Haha! But that's usually not part of their job description to cook for the family. Just for the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-900116 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 22:59:11 +0000 immabeetoo 900116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunny: @mrs. bird: you two have a dim view of early 20-somethings :) </p> <p>I SAH but we'd consider it if I went back to work. I worked with international camp staff when in college and really enjoyed meeting and living alongside them. I looked into au pair jobs in Europe, I was hoping to find one that needed both their kids &amp; horses watched/exercised :) Instead I found a FT nanny job near my college. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-900048 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:47:49 +0000 blackbird 900048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it sounds like a neat idea but our home isn't suitable for live-in help </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-900036 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 21:37:59 +0000 luckypenny 900036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had several au pairs growing up myself. Most all were foreign and lived with us for a few years. They were older though and not in school. I thought it was a great experience and if we had the money and I had a another kid I may consider it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899956 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 20:57:53 +0000 mrs. bird 899956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i know a bunch of au pairs and families who've used them. around here most people hire through an agency, when they arrive they usually spend some time at a childcare seminar where they learn basic childcare practices and a quick into to US customs then they get shipped off to the families. </p> <p>it works out great for a lot of families, but i know of many that have gone through a few au pairs quickly before it worked out. also keep in mind, most of these girls are between 18-22. think about what life was like for you at that age. when i was younger, i partied with a lot of au pairs (after work, on my own time, never in their employer's homes) - most of them were driving in cars owned by their employers, smoking, and drinking and then either going back to their employer's homes or disappearing for the weekend. i know one family (i never met the au pair though) and she went away for a weekend and never came back, they were told it's not that unusual to have au pairs runaway. if it's something you think you'd be interested in- i suggest looking for an older au pair. one that has had many years of driving experience (on the same side of the road that we drive on) if you plan on having them drive, learning to drive in a new area is hard enough, never mind with screaming kids in the car and signs that are in a second language. also if you're up for having a college student living with you, doing what college age girls do. </p> <p>personally, if i had responsible, well behaved older kids, that needed someone to get them on a school bus and make sure they did their homework and had a snack when they got home, maybe watching them for a weekly date night, i'd be okay with it. provided they weren't driving the kids anywhere and we had an au pair suite with its own entrance and the au pair was over 22 and a college graduate. haha. i don't think we'll ever have an au pair, but i do have a great friend that i met as an au pair that met all of those criteria! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899881 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 20:15:33 +0000 PurpleUnicorn 899881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i don't have one now but i have thought about it for when we have 2 kids and i am back at work full time - I am definitely going to look into it.</p> <p>When i was in high school, one of my good friend's always had an au pair living with her. Her mom had remarried and had 3 younger kids. Me and my friend always loved the au pairs and hung out with them sometimes. So my perspective back then was that this super nice, super fun person came to live with her family and provided child care and also did some housework. I can't remember if they did any school part time, but I don't think so. It seemed great to have them on family vacations too because they were already like part of the family and the parents probably got to enjoy some time to themselves on the vacation as well (I went with my friend and her family + au pair for a week long cottage vacation once and that was my impression then). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899869 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 20:07:33 +0000 skibobrown 899869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A lot of my friends growing up had two working parents and an au pair nanny. It seems like a great setup as long as you have the space in your house for another person to live. We were actually just looking at a house that has an in-law suite upstairs in the attic, and all I could think was how perfect it would be for an au pair if we decided to hire one. One of the families at DD's daycare has an au pair. I think she's from New Zealand, so she doesn't speak another language. She's really sweet though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899864 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 20:03:58 +0000 mrsmate 899864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My friend is now on her 2nd au pair and really likes it! She's had one since DC1 was 6mo, now she has 2 DCs. Around here, the standard is for au pairs to work 45hrs/wk and to take an ESL class (ie not enrolling as degree students). The agencies also seem to offer p/t (30hrs/wk) programs for school aged kids, which are cheaper, as well as programs for infants, where the au pairs have more training, which are mor expensive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899379 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 15:57:59 +0000 Mrsbells 899379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dont know anyone who personally has an au pair. I am not really comfortable with other people living with me or being in my home when I am not there, so Its not for me </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899289 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 15:34:30 +0000 Mrs. Pen 899289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: I actually nearly was hired as an au pair but I've never heard the bit about them paying for your schooling!! Never...</p> <p>To me an au pair is just an international nanny. They get room/board, and either PT or FT nanny at a much lower rate because they are live-in and international. Usually being an international student they can get a lot of grants. </p> <p>I interviewed with a family in London and would have gotten the job except that it was during the recession in 08'-'09 and the dad unfortunately lost his job... I would have been considered an au pair, not going to school, but a live-in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899280 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 15:32:06 +0000 mamimami 899280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>their working hours are strictly limited. Like, I don't think they can work more than 40 (or maybe fewer) hours. SO if YOU work 40 hours, adding on even minimal commute time, it's not going to work.</p> <p>but if you have flexibility i think it's great!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899215 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 15:17:58 +0000 BSB 899215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: I have no idea what happens when you fire an au pair. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899193 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 15:14:56 +0000 Cole 899193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My understanding is that some of the programs require 6 credits per semester but that others don't require any college classes and they may stay for 1 year. They are screened in their home countries and you are presented with many to choose from and then interview them. There is an option to pick an au pair "extraordinaire" which would be someone with more extensive experience but all of them must have at least 200 hours of child care experience.</p> <p>I know some people who have done this and it has gone really well for them but I think it works better when you live somewhere very walkable. The biggest complaint I have heard is that au pairs are notoriously awful drivers. Many won't have learned to drive until they are 18 so off the bat they have less experience driving and then you throw in the different driving laws and bigger cars.</p> <p>The weekly stipend is around $200, the agencies are good at breaking down the weekly cost once you add in the agency fees and so forth it is about $360 a week plus what ever it costs to have an extra adult in your home. This could be minimal or it could be a lot if you need a third car and to pay for car insurance and gas for another adult.</p> <p>I do think it could be a neat experience but I think I would prefer to wait until I had school aged kids so it would be an after school hours and date night schedule as opposed to an all day type of thing. I think some people like the option because you are far more likely to get an au pair to commit to a wacky schedule than a nanny and the cost is lower. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899163 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 15:09:27 +0000 sunny 899163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: I agree, good point! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899156 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 15:08:27 +0000 regberadaisy 899156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: that is a very good point. Kinda like being on a "scholarship" to be here on a Visa bc you excel in violin or etc so you have to keep that up and your grades up.<br /> So if you weren't happy with your au pair and you fire them would the get shipped back?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899145 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 15:06:18 +0000 BSB 899145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunny: My coworker has had at least 2-3 au pairs for his two kids. He highly recommends them. I got the impression that many of the students wouldn't be in the US if it were for the au pair program so most of the students take the job very seriously. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899138 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 15:04:58 +0000 regberadaisy 899138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: ohhh very interesting!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899135 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 15:04:30 +0000 BSB 899135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: My coworker said that they are required to have a certain number of hours in childcare or child care courses prior to being accepted as an au pair. You can interview them to pick one that you'll feel comfortable with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899115 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 14:56:42 +0000 regberadaisy 899115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can see this working for summer vacation! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899105 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 14:51:16 +0000 Arden 899105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wikipedia definition:<br /> An au pair (plural: au pairs) is a domestic assistant from a foreign country working for, and living as part of, a host family. Typically, au pairs take on a share of the family's responsibility for childcare as well as some housework, and receive a small monetary allowance for personal use. Au pair schemes are subject to government restrictions which specify an age range usually from late teens to mid to late twenties. In Europe, where the concept originated, au pairs are only supposed to work part-time, and they often also study part-time, generally focusing on the language of the host country, but in the United States, they are permitted to provide full-time childcare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899096 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 14:48:45 +0000 sunny 899096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: that's my main concern! I have seen ads for companies hiring people to be au pairs and I worry that a girl in her early 20s isn't going to be mature enough to watch my kids. I also worry that she's going to smoke, drink and party! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899093 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 14:47:56 +0000 regberadaisy 899093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: interesting. </p> <p>Not for me... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899074 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 14:45:19 +0000 Arden 899074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not all au pairs are students. Many are taking a gap year or just au pair during the summers for the experience of living in another country/culture.</p> <p>In my experience, families usually hire au pairs to watch older children, not babies. A large part of the purpose is to expose your kids to another language and culture. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899052 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 14:41:20 +0000 regberadaisy 899052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought au pairs were just fancy European name for a live in nanny. How are these "students" qualified to look after your children??? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899042 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 14:38:41 +0000 Arden 899042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I almost took an Au Pair job in Turkey and then in Italy.</p> <p>Typically they receive room and board and then a small stipend (in Europe, 300-700 a month in my experience) to cover incidentals. They are quite affordable and usually speak another language. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-899014 Mon, 01 Jul 2013 14:31:21 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 899014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bumping this to see if anyone else has experience. We're throwing this idea around once we have 2 kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-have-an-au-pair#post-94234 Thu, 15 Mar 2012 17:16:03 +0000 tequiero21 94234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i heard au pairs are from other countries...not necessarily students and they're really affordable considering. </p>