https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 19:27:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training/page/2#post-528699 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 05:16:51 +0000 Pink Champagne 528699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We got lucky in that LO slept through the night by himself at 12-14 weeks and never needed any training. He goes down really easy most nights as well.<br /> We always just let him sleep when he wanted to sleep, from day one. On the contrary, a friend of mine with a similarly aged son had her baby on a schedule for naps from day one. That type of scheduling just wasn't for us, but it worked well for her.<br /> LO is not the best napper, so sometimes I think about nap training him, but as long as his mood seems to be good, I don't really stress if one day he takes three naps and another day he only takes a couple cat naps. We try to be good about putting him in his crib when we see sleepy cues, and that has been working well.<br /> I guess I'm not against it- I just haven't needed it. Whatever works for your family, I suppose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training/page/2#post-528618 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 23:42:46 +0000 pinkcupcake 528618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumn865: Sounds just like us. I was really against any kind of sleep training/CIO and just tried to grin and bear it for close to seven months. It got to the point, though, where I was sleeping maybe three to four hours a night, and it would take me at least an hour to put her to sleep. We were all so miserable, and I realized that I wasn't doing anyone any favors by continuing what we were doing. </p> <p>I really think every family is different and everyone has a breaking point. I reached mine, we sleep-trained, life was so much better. Not perfect - we've had lots of regressions - but still, definitely a lot better than where we were before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training/page/2#post-528615 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 23:38:06 +0000 runsyellowlites 528615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: Definitely different but I still hate it! I guess I just resolved that infants biologically have crappy sleep schedules (generally) and I needed to get happy or be miserable. I tell myself that with alot of things that are just the way they are b/c that's the way they are... "Get happy". It usually works! lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training/page/2#post-528591 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 23:03:33 +0000 autumn865 528591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't even know what sleep training was until my average sleeping 2 month old slowly began developing more and more poor sleep habits. For over two months she was up every hour or less throughout the night with 8 or more wakings a night. It took an hour and a half to put her to bed only to wake up 45 minutes later. In the end DD was exhausted and not her usual happy funny self and I was downright depressed from the lack of sleep. I felt like she was not happy not getting any sleep and I wasn't the best mother I could be for her. I felt like she deserved a happy mommy who could laugh, play and take her places. We sleep trained recently and life is so much more manageable. She is far from STTN but everyone in our house is happier.</p> <p>Bottom line, it is all about what works for each individual family and baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training/page/2#post-528579 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 22:37:18 +0000 sarac 528579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: let me clarify to say that I do NOT have a naturally good sleeper. I've gone through many, many months of poor sleep because of my feelings about sleep training. My 16 month old still does not usually sleep through, and we just deal. </p> <p>@runsyellowlites I think there is an ENORMOUS difference between sending daddy in when the baby wants mommy and just leaving them on their own. It's letting a child cry by themselves that I consider to be totally unacceptable. My daughter often cries for a moment when daddy goes in, because she'd rather be nursing. I hate that, but nursing overnight kills me. I'm willing to let her be a bit sad, just not sad and alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528563 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 22:24:02 +0000 heffalump 528563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't sleep train. We were lucky that we didn't need to, lo slept 12 hours at 2 1/2 months. But she was an awful napper and nap training just wasn't for us. After s very long 8 months of bad napping all of a sudden she started napping great in her crib. Literally, it happened over night. Now she is 18 months and at nap time I say, "it's nappy time! Are you ready to take a nappy?" And lo says "yeah" and walks over to me so I can give her kisses and put her in her crib. Then she turns over in her crib, sucks her thumb, and she's out for at least two hours, usually more. This is all her, I did no training. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528277 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 18:35:13 +0000 mrbee 528277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: Somewhat random, but just fyi... we can only send up to 9 email alerts per post. So some of the people you @ replied to may not have gotten email alerts! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528256 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 18:13:15 +0000 runsyellowlites 528256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sammyfab: That totally makes sense about the milestones and sleep (of course not in EVERY situation). Maybe all that developing brain activity just makes it more difficult to get to sleep and stay asleep! hmmmmm...</p> <p>@Honeybee: So true on all kiddos being different! I think even if I hadn't sleep trained G he was already a MUCH better sleeper than P and even his demeanor during the day was easier.... darn girl didn't let me put her down for the first 5.5 months! =/</p> <p>@rachiecakes: Sounds like you really made the best decision considering there was no way to predict the short lived nursing relationship! Sleep has always been one of those things on the bottom of my list too (I worked crazy hours doing shift work at the hospital for a couple years). Who knows how it'll go with the next, hopefully you won't have such an early self-weaner. ;)</p> <p>@cascademom: I figure the breastfeeding relationship is so much more than just feeding so I'm fine with comfort nursing while I still have the opportunity too. =)</p> <p>@Maysprout: I honestly don't think CIO would work for P either. Before she was 5 months old she was so high needs and I learned first hand that the girl can cry for hours and not fall asleep! =/</p> <p>@X0X0X0: Sounds rough! I remember wanting to smother DH in those first few months since I do ALL sleep related aspects and she just seemed so miserable. Of course that also seemed to have alot to do with the protein intolerance issues we had too and when those finally got smoothed out she kind of started to find her own sleep niche. I seriously almost swore off having more kids! lol Glad your lo has found her little niche too!</p> <p>@dookie32: DH could never survive on my sleep "patterns" either so I totally understand... poor guy sleeps all night every night and STILL falls asleep on the couch by 10! We do have a bedtime "routine" as in bathtime, get dressed, and nursing, but the time does vary between 8-9:30 since DH does bathtime and he doesn't always get home at the same time. Glad you got a generally good sleeper though and it didn't take a whole lot of training! =)</p> <p>@sarac: I have sent DH in a few times (literally like 3 times) and sheesh that was TORTURE, but I know that it's just as important for her to trust him to soothe her as it is she trusts me so I bite my lip and deal with it. It's such a rarity it happens though! lol</p> <p>@Mrs. Superhero: I've been following your post on the Sleep Sense! Sounds like little does pretty good with just your presence there! YAY!</p> <p>@PurpleUnicorn: Seeing both your responses, babies are SUPER loud sleepers for sure! P will sometimes make a cry sound but just like one, or she'll fuss like "daaaa naaaa daaa" and then go right back to sleep. It's pretty clear to hear when it changes to a cry though, that's when I'll go in and nurse her.</p> <p>@ladyfingers: "I don't really dig how obsessive the whole sleep training culture is" THIS! Yes! My mom is totally in the "controlled cry" camp and then CIO when that doesn't work. That's probably why I did sleep training with G without even thinking about it really. I guess I just do okay without any sleep... or coffee (which I miss greatly), so the lack there of isn't that big of deal for the short lived time I figure I'll have it.</p> <p>@Mrsbells: Lol... guess that's a good way of "knowing".</p> <p>@Mrs. Bee: So very true! I've definitely read of worse sleepers than P.. atleast for her norm, and I'm sure I'd have alot more trouble not sleep training if she were worse! I actually have a blog post bookmarked that I read when I'm exhausted or she's had a bad couple nights to help me refocus on why I've chosen this route (did the same thing with breastfeeding). It's helped for sure, but if I didn't have that I'd probably smother DH or idk, not be a very happy camper. lol </p> <p>@Bao: TBH I don't even know how many times P was waking up at 5 months.... lets just saw I think she's greatly improved and I counted 6 the other night, usually 2-3 though after we go to bed on a good night though. It was about 6 months that it kind of started leveling out, if you count 2-6 night wakings as decent sleep. lol</p> <p>@meredithNYC: " I think there was less information back in the day and sometimes that's a good thing" We are TOTALLY over-informed in so many ways and I think it causes alot of us to question ourselves because "what IS the right route/option?". Sigh being a parent is so stressful! lol</p> <p>I am really glad to see all the different perspectives and range of CIO sleeping training to no training and everything between. =) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528240 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:49:46 +0000 meredithNYC 528240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: Totally! I think there was less information back in the day and sometimes that's a good thing :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528239 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:48:45 +0000 ladyfingers 528239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meredithNYC: Yeah exactly, and our parents generally didn't feel like they needed to read books to do that stuff. There's just so much information and options out there that being a parent can seem so overwhelming and like you're choosing the wrong approach. But anyway, I think that's a whole other discussion, sorry :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528238 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:48:41 +0000 meredithNYC 528238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurpleUnicorn: Such a good point about not responding to every peep! I learned quickly that babies make a lot of noise when they sleep and not every little cry is necessarily a cry for help. Often, my LO would make a little noise and then fall back asleep immediately. Had I jumped to comfort her or feed her, I would have just been disturbing her sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528237 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:48:40 +0000 hilsy85 528237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: totally agree! I think very few people sleep train because they WANT to--usually it's because they need to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528234 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:46:49 +0000 meredithNYC 528234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: Yeah, I think there is definitely a generational difference as to how sleep training is perceived. When I mention "sleep training" to my mom she doesn't get what I'm talking about, but for us the misunderstanding is down to the terminology. When I talk about sticking to a bedtime routine/consistent bedtime, pretty solid daytime schedule with naps, etc. (which is my family's form of "sleep training") she's like, "Ohhh yeah, of course we did all that." I just think there are more labels for such things. </p> <p>For me, it wasn't really about forcing my child to be on my schedule. To be honest, if anything I feel like it's tougher when you sleep train because you're pretty much always at the mercy of your child's schedule. It makes it tough to get out of the house whenever I want since she has a nap schedule and I believe she should be in her crib for sleep, but my daughter is a very happy and well-rested baby. So I guess it's worth the sacrifice to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528232 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:44:23 +0000 PurpleUnicorn 528232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: good points. I say i wouldn;t be capable of letting L "cry it out", but i am also not in any position where i would need to consider it either. If months and months went by and he was still waking up 3 times a night, i might feel differently, who knows. I was having a tough time just in the first 8 weeks with the night feedings because i myself am a terrible sleeper and would often have trouble going back to sleep, so i was getting VERY little sleep, (and he went from only waking up twice to once to none). I just know that i am just soooo grateful he is already sleeping through the night :)</p> <p>ETA: I guess one thing I did was not jump as soon as he made a crying sound, i would wait and see if he would self soothe or if he really needed me, I would never let it go to all screaming/crying, just waited a couple of minutes to see if he would go back to sleep on his own. sometimes he did and sometimes he didnt. During the day, he sometimes naps on his own, sometimes he will only nap in my arms and i am okay with that because like i said, we are both sleeping through the night! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528226 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:36:04 +0000 Mrs. Bee 528226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>so much depends on how good of a sleeper your child is, your threshold for being tired/waking up, what sleep habits you instill.... sleep training is not black or white and it's a catch all phrase for many different methods of helping your child learn how to sleep. </p> <p>it's easy for someone with a naturally good sleeper or even a decent sleeper to say they don't believe in sleep training. every family has to make the decision that's best for them and i understand why people do or don't cio! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528200 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:12:04 +0000 Mrsbells 528200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we haven't sleep trained out 9month old. I guess we arent into it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528194 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:08:10 +0000 ladyfingers 528194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Granted, I have zero experience with any of this yet, but I don't really dig how obsessive the whole sleep training culture is. I started to panic that we hadn't read any books or anything on sleep and nap training, and then I mentioned sleep training to my stepmother and she gave me a look like I had 3 heads. "You think you can train your kid to sleep the way you want them to? OK... good luck." And that's when we decided to just kind of let things go organically and use common sense and go with that. That's what our parents did with us, and we're fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528129 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 16:29:45 +0000 PurpleUnicorn 528129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i honestly don't know how sleep training works as i have done zero research into it. But I feel I have been SOO fortunate because my LO has been sleeping through the night since he was 8 weeks (he is only 10.5 weeks now, so my fingers are still crossed!). But as of now, we have a bedtime routine and he just falls asleep right after nursing every night usually sometime between 9 and 10:30pm (depends when the last feeding in the evening was). and he wakes up between 630 and 7am. this is like clockwork for him, he just somehow started sleeping 9 hours a night! I didn't do anything specific to "train" him other than not stimulate in the late evening and also feed him more often in the evening (every 2 hours, instead of 3-5) to fill him up as i read that helps to get them to sleep through the night.</p> <p>I do know that I would not be emotionally capable of letting him "cry it out", i would pick him up within minutes! more like within one minute! </p> <p>I also have a habit of letting him fall asleep in my arms after nursing before putting him to bed every night. I want to experiment and see if he can fall asleep on his own, but each night i think "not tonight, i just want to go to sleep myself so i am going to do what i know works now"! maybe i will regret this later, but for now i am thoroughly enjoying my own 8 hours of solid sleep every night! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528059 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:50:39 +0000 Mrs. Superhero 528059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't believe in it until my second child was nearly a year old. We were (are) still very gentle and present about it, but it seems that some children learn to sleep well on their own and some need you to help them learn. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528057 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:50:15 +0000 sarac 528057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am absolutely opposed to sleep training in terms of leaving a baby alone to cry it out. I try to keep my real feelings about it to myself, but suffice it to say I would never, ever, do it. Sleep training in terms of sending dad down instead of mom (with the boobs), distracting to delay naps, stuff like that, I love. But the leaving a child alone with their fear and their misery? Never. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528005 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:27:51 +0000 dookie32 528005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When someone says sleep training, I think more about consistency in bedtimes and nap times &amp; establishing routines. I do know some people that don't believe in that as in their kids go to bed at different times, sometimes nap, sometimes don't, etc. Whatever works for your family- it would not work for us. My husband and I both full-time and we wouldn't be able to function at work or as human beings in general if my son (10 months) was still getting up 2-5 times a night. We never did a lot of sleep training because my son has naturally been a good sleeper (minus the 4 month regression) but we would have if we had needed to. I think a good night's rest is just as important to kids as it is to parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-528003 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:26:55 +0000 X0X0X0 528003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't believe in sleep training until six months after DD came along. She never, even as a newborn, would sleep for more than 2 hours unless she was in someone's chest or arms. And even then, it would take us at least an hour to put her to sleep. We decided to sleep train after her sleep got worse and worse every month and after trying to improve her sleep by trying what seemed like every method on earth. We tried it all, co-sleeping, swaddling, shushing, pacifier, reading books on sleep, EASY, etc. But it all just made it worse. The only thing that has helped her to actually sleep has been sleep training. It wasnt until after sleep training, that she learned how to self soothe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-527995 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:24:08 +0000 Maysprout 527995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe we were doing it wrong but it didn't seem to work for my daughter. And hours of crying for weeks was out of my realm of comfort. I think some of it comes down to the uniqueness of each LO, just like a lot of things. We do try to encourage good sleep habits but we haven't accomplished the STTN consistently yet, there's always something like moving, traveling, husband working overnights, teething, etc . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-527974 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:17:43 +0000 cascademom 527974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FutureMrsMcK: At daycare, our LO learned to fall asleep with some crying. At home, he won't do it for us. He plays us for fools. So, we stick to a routine to get him ready for sleep. </p> <p>I'm struggling with the feedings and sleep and how to uncouple them as well. We also have some teething going on, so I'm okay with feeding right now as a comfort tool. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-527971 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:17:03 +0000 rachiecakes 527971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: not so much that I don't believe in it, I know so many people that swear by it! But it was just not for us, personally.<br /> I went back to work at 7 weeks PP and I really wanted breastfeeding to work out. For me that meant lots of time with DS on my person when I was home. Pretty much from the time I got home until the time I left for work he was with me nursing. It was exhausting and it was really challenging at work to be focused and on top of my game at 8am after breastfeeding throughout the night. But to me it was worth having that time with my baby. I knew that time wouldn't be forever.<br /> And it wasn't.<br /> I also went home at lunch to nurse and around 6/7 months he didn't want to nurse during the day. And then around 9 months he stopped nursing at dinner time. Then he started sleeping through the night. Then he stopped nursing in the morning and lastly dropped the before bed nursing.<br /> There were times when we coslept, some nights we still do. But DS has no trouble falling asleep on his own. He's a good self-soother. Honestly I miss nursing, so it's been harder on me in that way! haha<br /> I'm glad I didn't let him cry. Sleep wasn't worth it to me.<br /> So many friends and coworkers tried to get me to follow different methods to get him to sleep through the night at an early age. The only thing I did do was a bedtime routine. I started the bath, pjs, read a book, turn off the lights, turn on the music routine really early and I feel like it encouraged him to learn how to fall asleep. But every kid's different. We just did what I felt like was right for our situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-527963 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:14:59 +0000 Honeybee 527963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't done CIO with either of my kids. We have done some no cry techniques with DS and we consciously swaddle weaned him, but we never had to do anything with DD. She just nafurally did everything in her own time. DS needs a little more direction, though.</p> <p>If i've learned anything it's that every kid is different. They all respond to different methods and it's all about what works best for yoyr LO/ your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-527951 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:11:50 +0000 SAHM0811 527951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's not really that I don't "believe" in it... It's just that CIO of any kind, didn't work for us with both girls! They would just get worked up and get to that point of no return. I also feel like it's all temporary anyway, like you said. My first daughter is an awesome sleeper so we lucked out with her, but my second daughter is not and she's 18 months now, but hardly ever has STTN. But I'm so okay with it because it's not going to go on like this forever and it gets better month by month. But for the families who do sleep train, I think that's awesome if it works for them! </p> <p>ETA: What can get annoying though is sometimes when Sleep Training Families push their experience on other new moms and they SWEAR that by "day 3" your kid won't cry at all... It doesn't work for every family or every kid... I always tell moms to just go with their gut when it comes to stuff like this. It's great to hear about others' experiences, but not every kid will react the same to sleep training. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-527943 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:09:48 +0000 Bao 527943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never wanted to, and I hate hearing LO cry, but I think we may need to resort to it. We will start with no-cry methods and then see where that leads us. LO is waking up 6-8 times a night at 5 months so something has got to be done, I just hope it doesn't involve CIO. I am open to it, if it comes down to it though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-527939 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:08:46 +0000 Sammyfab 527939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's not that I believe in sleep training but I do believe in healthy sleep habits and babies and parents getting adequate rest. Every family and baby is different, so if you're a-ok with getting interrupted sleep and everyone is happy and healthy, then there's no need to sleep train, right?</p> <p>The funny thing is that whenever I hear about a baby being a terrible sleeper and waking up multiple times a night, they're always the ones that seem to be hitting milestones early! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-not-believe-in-sleep-training#post-527936 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:08:08 +0000 runsyellowlites 527936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FutureMrsMcK: =( Awww now I'm crying thinking about you crying. That is a really tough spot to be in. I'm at home with them so I've been able to just kind of go with it. P HATES being worn at home or is I'm siting so I can totally feel your pain. I think she slept while on the boob for the first 5 months.. I honestly cried tears of joy the first time I was able to put her down and her not freak. GL with helping him come into his own though... I do agree that doing something like that in the safety of the home is MUCH better than him having to learn in a new environment with new people.</p> <p>@yoursilverlining: Like I said, I totally did it with G and it was really effective for us, which I totally didn't mind! I didn't really like the word "force" but couldn't think of another that fit. =/ It is definitely a very personal family decision and know that what works for us won't work in every family and that is a-okay. =) </p>