https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 18:28:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44598 Sun, 01 Jan 2012 09:44:57 +0000 Mrsbells 44598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Navy_Mommy: Wow I wasnt aware that there are people who are just against breast feeding in general?</p> <p>@anewme: I totally agree! I visited countries in africa, its very there common to see women breastfeeding everywhere and anywhere and no one bats an eyelid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44521 Sat, 31 Dec 2011 20:16:35 +0000 venice4504 44521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I live in granola-tree-hugging-Berkinstock-wearing country and there are a lot of mom's that just whip the breast out. In public. I have no issue on how you want to feed your child but what bugs me is that they are sometimes not cognizant or don't give a rip about not really who they offend, but who they make feel uncomfortable. To be sitting at someplace like Gymboree and to see a mom (in the middle of class) just start feeding where her entire breast is exposed is over the top for me. There is nothing to stop her from moving out of the circle and feeding in any way that she likes but to do it in front of us, to me, is not wrong but rude. One must know their surroundings.</p> <p>Now, no where do I say she should have gone to the bathroom, or her car or even another room but it's these "in your face" and/or "it's natural I don't give a darn, deal" types that really rub me the wrong way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44520 Sat, 31 Dec 2011 20:00:13 +0000 Navy_Mommy 44520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was talking about becoming a mom (etc.) with one of my friend's parents who have been like a second set of parents to me for almost a decade, the father always jokingly calls me the "daughter he never wanted" since he has two sons. And when breastfeeding came up I was surprised to how strongly he opposed to it in general and the fact that his wife didn't seem to find it weird that he was SO against it. He actually said to me, "you aren't going to breastfeed, are you?" and when I made it clear I'll do everything in my power to EBF he definitely seemed taken aback.</p> <p>His wife didn't breastfeed their sons since she worked full time and instead of just pumping throughout the day they used formula so I GUESS he just may not be used to the idea? But he just kept saying, "it's just weird" to which I would respond, "it's the most natural thing EVER Mr. S; it really isn't weird at all."</p> <p>I can sort of understand the people who don't want you breastfeeding in public, but the people who are just against it in general are the ones I'll never understand! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44452 Sat, 31 Dec 2011 11:57:19 +0000 Maysprout 44452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If someone has an issue with bf in public I see that as more of a personal issue/hang up that they should work on resolving. It's legal, it will stay legal so they can either call people names and complain or work on accepting it. </p> <p>That being said I do wear a tank top under my clothes because I'd rather not show the world my stomach, as sexy as it might be. But so far most people have no idea what I'm doing and if they do they usually give a little smile. However, I do tend to go to a secluded place, not because I want to but I feel like I'd be judged poorly for not going somewhere else. I've read the comments in the nursing stories and it's sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44442 Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:49:00 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 44442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with what @thehistoryofus said. I don't have any problem with a woman nursing in public whether she uses a cover or not. The baby has to eat. When I've seen women nursing without a cover I could hardly see any of the breast. I don't feel like they were in your face about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44431 Sat, 31 Dec 2011 09:57:38 +0000 anewme 44431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>when i was pregnant, my co-worker who's Moroccan asked me if I was planning to BF which I was. She told me that she is very surprised that for all America stands for, all the freedom, values, opportunities that we are surprisingly backward when it comes to the simplest thing like a mother bf'ing in public. She says women there have no qualms about sitting down wherever they are to BF their child. I've heard similar things from my MIL and other friends who have spent time living in "developing" countries. Americans are surprisingly prude when it comes to the naked body because society and media makes us first look at our body's in a sexual way so anytime you see something like a breast in public you are made uncomfortable because it's not the usual forum in which you would see it. And looking at a female BF, seems to be a "perverse" behavior. We have forgotten what our bodies are really given to us for and the first purpose it serves, which is to give life to a child and provide sustenance to the child first and foremost.</p> <p>I have nursed publicly, but in the most discreet of ways. I would duck in corners, hide my body behind a cover, sit in a car because I am also uncomfortable at putting it all out there. It took me awhile to get comfortable with nursing in my own home when I have company, like my friends and female family around. I could see the look on their face and how hard they are trying not to stare.</p> <p>I think as more and more people do it, it will slowly become better received. But it's not going to happen overnight sadly </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44409 Sat, 31 Dec 2011 01:48:20 +0000 Red 44409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to nurse in public with a nursing cover and never received any strange looks. However, my LO now fidgets A LOT while nursing (and more often now, she'll insist on nursing standing up, lol) so I usually nurse her in my car since the windows are tinted and there's more flexibility. Also, I no longer wear nursing tops so I would be exposing a lot of skin if I were to nurse in public, which would be uncomfortable for me. I have, on a few occasions, nursed her in the bathroom when there just wasn't a good place to sit and nurse. Not ideal but as long as it's clean, it's not too bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44372 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 22:42:18 +0000 Katm558 44372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@thehistoryofus - Amen! I always wear a nursing tank because I don't want to feel uncomfortable, and I'm a bit modest, so I always use a cover when nursing in public. But you're right, if more people did it, then it would be more accepted in society.</p> <p>@mrs.yoyo - I think you nailed it on the head! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44321 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:36:24 +0000 Mrsbells 44321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Yoyo: Good point! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44319 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:33:57 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 44319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: I think they freak precisely *because* it is such a nonsexual act. Most men don't want to think of their playthings in such a utilitarian way :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44318 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:32:02 +0000 Mrsbells 44318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dont know why guys freak out when they see a woman Breast feeding in public. they have no problem looking at cleavage and boobs in a sexual way.<br /> I do agree with @thehistoryofus that if more women nursed more often in public there wouldnt be that shock factor </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44314 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:28:13 +0000 Andrea 44314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know what @Rubies is talking about. I think it's because most of us may rarely see women BFing in public. If you don't see something a lot, then it's just striking when you do. I can't really give a good reason for it otherwise! I have never seen anyone showing an inappropriate amount of skin while BFing. I think the majority of women probably BF in a respectful manner but it's just those few who don't that give it a bad rap -- just like a lot of things in life, a few ruin it for the majority. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44313 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:27:29 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 44313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I nurse mostly in my car when we're out and about to avoid these situations. If I have to nurse in public, I use a cover. Frankly, *I* don't want to flash people, because that would make *me* uncomfortable, ha. </p> <p>I will say that on a recent flight, Baby Y's first, there was just no way for me to nurse with a cover in coach with a squirming baby. So I sat by the window, had DH block me to the extent that he could, and wore full-panel maternity pants to cover my tummy. I didn't expose a lot of flesh, trust me, and to my knowledge no one raised an eyebrow. The alternative was listening to a screaming baby for 90 minutes!</p> <p>I think women who are "proving the point" do do a rest of us a bit of a disservice. In an ideal world, no one would bat an eye, BUT we cannot unsexualize boobs. We're too far down that road, sadly. But we can boost acceptance of nursing in public by trying, within reason, not to flash people. The courtroom case really bothers me because the woman had a cover and was in the back (I think?) The Target case is more iffy ... I know I would be a heckuva lot more comfy in a fitting room than in the middle of an aisle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44311 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:19:34 +0000 T.H.O.U. 44311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: I'm not offended and respect that you may be more modest and therefore uncomfortable at the sight of any skin. I'm not talking about walking around with a breast hanging out but when I nurse I lift my shirt (I always wear an undershirt to cover my stomach) and allow the baby to latch. I would say you see less than an inch of skin around the babies mouth. </p> <p>I find it disturbing that a small one inch area of skin makes someone uncomfortable but the cover of a magazine, a commercial on tv, or even just normal women walking around show off every inch of their breast (as much as they can without showing nipple). Yes breastfeeding is intimate but it's also a life giving requirement. I do try to feed at home before we leave the house but if im out at a restaurant I am not going to go sit in the car just to feed the baby. </p> <p>I just feel strongly that if more women conservatively nursed (not necessarily with a cover) and the public was more exposed to this as a natural thing then it would become less and less of an issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44309 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:03:21 +0000 Rubies 44309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Thehistoryofus: When I'm using the mother's nursing room at a mall or something, all of us women are exposed and it's totally fine. It's just uncomfortable to me if I'm walking down the street and a woman is breastfeeding on a park bench and I can see part of her breast or her shirt is lifted so much that her stomach is exposed. To me, breastfeeding is a private and intimate thing and I've requested a fitting room at a store to feed LO or have gone back to my car to BF there. I did not mean for my response to offend you. I was just trying to explain how I feel about BF in public. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44276 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:33:22 +0000 MrsBrewer 44276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Thehistoryofus: I have to agree with Rubies, if you are in public, I feel that you should be covered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44275 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:31:55 +0000 T.H.O.U. 44275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: I think that's a bit unfair and extreme to say that if ANY skin is exposed then it's uncomfortable. We live in a crazy society where women walk around in low cut shirts and push up bras all the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44239 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 16:16:24 +0000 Rubies 44239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm all for breastfeeding in public (ie. if you want to, then do it) but I feel uncomfortable when a lady is breastfeeding and I can see any of her skin (unless we're in a nursing room soley for feeding). If she's using a hooter-hider or a blanket or something, then I think it's sweet. But if I see ANY of her skin (chest, boob, stomach) then I feel awkward. It's like how I feel about men who walk around with no shirt on. It's weird to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44237 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 16:14:13 +0000 Miss Adia 44237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This has been happening for years and years. Even before I was pregnant and working as a server, people would make snide comments about breastfeeding mothers and how they should go to the bathroom. I got stiffed on a tip because I asked a guest if he would like his food served in the bathroom as well. </p> <p>Then when I got pregnant in 2006 I heard about the nurse in's at Victoria Secrets (sales associate asked a mother to go to the bathroom instead of the dressing room.) and a nurse in at Applebees. Apparently a server asked a woman to go to the bathroom. </p> <p>I don't see the problem with bf in public as long as you aren't doing it to prove a point. There are women out there who do just do it (I believe) for the attention. I BF in public all the time and never had any negative reaction. Most people didn't even know what I was doing until they wanted to see the baby and I told them that she was eating. </p> <p>But the women who are expose their entire boob are the ones giving everyone else a bad name. I watched a women in Sam's Club basically remove her shirt to breastfeed. I was like um...it's not that serious. You can't take your shirt off in a store without breastfeeding so what makes you *her* think it's okay to do it with a baby? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44225 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 15:37:40 +0000 Katm558 44225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl - I agree, I would much rather nurse sitting down in a quiet, discreet area, but it's not always an option.</p> <p>Although I prefer to cover up, and tend to nurse in private locations, I think that people are just too harsh to those that aren't as modest. And having someone that has an influence on the public just outright bashing and calling nursing nasty is just horrible, in my opinion.</p> <p>When DS1 was eight months old, I went to a huge event held at a convention center. After asking dozens of staff members and searching for a place for almost an hour, I was told the only "decent" place I could nurse was on the toliet of a public restroom. I was so frustrated and hurt that there wasn't a safe place to nurse my child, that I nursed him in a busy stairwell, after being asked to move multiple times. I feel like people just don't get it. I mean, would you eat your lunch sitting on the toliet of a public restroom? Then why is it okay to feed my baby there? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44223 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 15:26:27 +0000 tequiero21 44223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i dunno. i personally don't feel comfortable at all when there are moms nursing in public. i think they should be more discreet and go somewhere a little more private. who knows. i haven't had my kids yet, maybe i won't care when i do. but right now, that's how i feel. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44184 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:30:42 +0000 MrsBrewer 44184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eeh: I completely agree. I was walking around a store once, a well known clothing store and a woman was walking around breastfeeding her baby, but her entire shirt was pulled up, and it was something that was very uncomfortable to see. I 100% support breastfeeding, and I plan to once I have children, but I plan on being discrete and respectful about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44175 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:18:10 +0000 MegWag 44175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Breastfeeding is far less widely done here in the UK and the National Health Service is working hard to spread the word about it's benefits. Sadly, there have been a few specials on breastfeeding on TV that have done it no favors. They have featured more extreme, in-your-face types and people who I would class as fringe, rather than more normal women who breastfeed. It just makes it seem weird, rather than a good thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44167 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:07:51 +0000 eeh 44167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think breastfeeding has been the issue in most if these cases. I think the real issue is the lack of attention or respect for their surroundings. Just because something is your right doesn't mean you need to shove it in everyone's face to prove a point. I think part of the negative opinions on nursing come from the women who are kind of bratty about it by saying doing things like "you can't stop be na na boo boo". Nobody wants to stop you, they just dont want it shoved in their faces so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44144 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 13:34:30 +0000 T.H.O.U. 44144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think society is a bit backwards in their acceptance of breastfeeding. My LO doesn't usually let me have a cover on, but I wear clothing where you can't see anything but the small area of breast pulled out and thats where she is latched on. </p> <p>I can't imagine just sitting down and breastfeeding in the middle of the store (yucky floor) but I have been fine with doing it at a restaurant, in church, or walking around while she was in the ergo. </p> <p>I think if it becomes more popular for people to see then maybe there will be better acceptance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44137 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 13:28:39 +0000 chopsuey 44137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I nurse in public (with a cover) and have never had a problem with it. If anything, I always get nods of approval. I can see why people have a problem with it if a woman nurses without a cover though, but still. Nursing's a natural and beautiful thing in my opinion.<br /> :T I have a friend who walks around the grocery store nursing her son without a cover.. :P She's wild like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44130 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 13:25:03 +0000 mediagirl 44130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually have a problem with how this Target story started. The woman sat down on the floor of the women's department at Target to nurse her child. Sitting on the floor of a department can be considered a hazard. I would guess a Target employee would ask anyone to move from sitting on the floor if they are in the way. The employees asked her to move to a fitting room where there was a more comfortable place to sit and she took offense. I would be PLEASED to have someone offer me a real seat in a fitting room in a private room if I needed it!</p> <p>Nursing is an activity that has to happen if you are breastfeeding but I think that woman and all women need to be prepared to feed. If they're going to be out and about during a feeding time, they need to make sure they have somewhere to sit down and feed. There's always your car! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44118 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 13:07:34 +0000 SAHM0811 44118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read recently about a nursing mother who was asked by a judge to leave a courthouse for breastfeeding discreetly. it wasn't illegal in her state, but the judge had this "it's my courthouse, i can tell people whatever i want them to do" attitude... that story infuriated me! </p> <p>part of the problem is that a portion of society views it as indecent exposure, but some of those same people don't have problems with the boobs they see on magazine covers, on TV and in the movies!!</p> <p>i nurse in public anywhere if my baby is hungry. i just ran errands and had to feed her on a bench on the sidewalk outside a grocery store. she's getting to big for the cover (swipes at it, kicks it off), so now i just do it as discreetly as possible like with nursing tops and covering my chest a bit with a scarf. there was no other place totally nearby for privacy, otherwise I would've gone there... but when my baby is hungry, she's hungry and i'll feed her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44111 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 12:56:56 +0000 pelikila 44111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I rarely nursed in public because my son refused a cover so we always had to find a semi-private place. I do have a friend that nursed her two boys until they were each around 2 or so. Throughout her nursing time she received everything from looks of disgust to comments telling her she was indecent to praise from strangers. She mostly ignored as much of it as possible but she firmly remembers every person that praised her for what she was doing and those words of praise are special to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-see-the-breastfeeding-backlash-thats-been-happening#post-44105 Fri, 30 Dec 2011 12:49:09 +0000 Katm558 44105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has anyone seen the media attention that breastfeeding moms have been getting lately? A few weeks ago, a nursing "flash mob" was shut down at a mall. I just read a storynthat a breastfeeding mother was asked to go in a dressing room or leave, while feeding her child in a Target store.</p> <p>Then, the other day, NASCAR driver Kasey Kahne saw a nursing mother at a grocery store and it was apparently "disgusting" and "nasty", so he lashed out on Twitter. He later issued a half-hearted "apology" on Facebook. I was about to give him a piece of my mind in the comments of his apology, but I was just too upset by others comments supporting him. One female commenter even said that breastfeeding is low class, because rich people can afford to feed their kids formula!</p> <p>All of this backlash really has me outraged. Breastfeeding is hard enough without all the negative comments and being kicked out of places just for feeding your child.</p> <p>Has anyone dealt with backlash from breastfeeding? How did you handle the situation? </p>