https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 01 Aug 2026 16:27:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-want-to-offer-free-therapy-regarding-my-narcissistic-mother#post-2627251 Mon, 26 Sep 2016 10:00:15 +0000 LCTBQE 2627251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-want-to-offer-free-therapy-regarding-my-narcissistic-mother#post-2627141 Sun, 25 Sep 2016 18:20:30 +0000 petitenoisette 2627141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you just need to limit your interactions with her and be prepared to leave a situation/hang up the phone if she starts acting in the ways you've described. </p> <p>The other thing is I think you should give yourself some grace that you don't HAVE to maintain a relationship with her for the sake of your daughter. I'm not trying to be a downer or overly negative, but what makes you think she will treat your daughter differently than she does you? I'm sure she treats her well now but as she gets older and more challenging in many ways that may not always be the case. Just something to think about. </p> <p>Good luck, I imagine it's a really tough situation to be in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-want-to-offer-free-therapy-regarding-my-narcissistic-mother#post-2627133 Sun, 25 Sep 2016 17:26:17 +0000 wrkbrk 2627133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. So many of these things I could have written myself. I guess I'm not the only one with a mother like this! It's hard when you have a LO and start to realize just how abnormal your own childhood really was ... Best wishes to everyone else in this same boat. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-want-to-offer-free-therapy-regarding-my-narcissistic-mother#post-2627094 Sun, 25 Sep 2016 13:01:45 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2627094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you read the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud? It helped me a lot &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-want-to-offer-free-therapy-regarding-my-narcissistic-mother#post-2627090 Sun, 25 Sep 2016 12:57:54 +0000 MrsKoala 2627090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tofuwad: that subreddit is seriously helpful. I recommend it to anyone that ever mentions having a narcissist as a parent. My husband has one and I think he's gained a lot of perspective from that sub. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-want-to-offer-free-therapy-regarding-my-narcissistic-mother#post-2627084 Sun, 25 Sep 2016 12:18:49 +0000 tofuwad 2627084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No real help but <a href="https://m.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/" rel="nofollow">https://m.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/</a> has really helped me deal. My mother is the sort where she says things like "well you must never call because I'm SUCH a BAD mother" and what's crazy is that she's absolutely right, she was a bad mother. Good parents don't manipulate children to feed into their own delusions. And she's still in denial that she was ever a bad mother, which is crazy to me because by any definition she was at best neglectful and selfish, and at worst emotionally abusive. </p> <p>I'm so sorry you're going through this. Family stuff is so so hard. I basically have a relationship with my mother because of my father. So I try my best to support him. Ironically I sometimes think the only reason he supports her is because of us kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-want-to-offer-free-therapy-regarding-my-narcissistic-mother#post-2627081 Sun, 25 Sep 2016 11:48:40 +0000 lilteacherbee 2627081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, I've been there. My mom is the type who stresses out about every little thing and makes everything about HER. My almost 3 year old started part-time preschool a few weeks ago and my mom called me lazy for sending him. She's mentioned this 72849 times and last week she said, "Now I think you put him in preschool just to spite me!" because, you know, all of my decisions revolve around her 🙄 Also, I'm 7 weeks pregnant and wanted to keep it a secret for awhile longer for several reasons but she kept pushing me and would ask me over and over if I was pregnant (I feel like even if you have suspicions, you should be respectful and wait for the person to tell you!). She has told me a million times not to have a third and that my two are spaced too closely together, so of course I was apprehensive about telling her.</p> <p>All of that to say, I've learned to just not engage with her when she's acting like that. It's hard, but I literally walk into another room (we live near each other and see each other often) until she has let it out of her system. She's always been this way and it's so hard for me to ignore it, but I've realized she's never going to change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-want-to-offer-free-therapy-regarding-my-narcissistic-mother#post-2627078 Sun, 25 Sep 2016 11:26:50 +0000 Cole 2627078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsrain: thanks! I appreciate the commiseration and the positive suggestions. I'm snuggling with my lo Ave enjoying her company. Thanks for the birthday wishes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-want-to-offer-free-therapy-regarding-my-narcissistic-mother#post-2627077 Sun, 25 Sep 2016 11:19:10 +0000 mrsrain 2627077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a narcissistic mother, too, so I sympathize. Just remember-- she chooses to say hurtful things to get a reaction, so don't give it to her. Focus on the positive people in your life, give them your care and consideration. Hugs!! I know it sucks. Happy birthday to your little one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-want-to-offer-free-therapy-regarding-my-narcissistic-mother#post-2627075 Sun, 25 Sep 2016 10:47:52 +0000 Cole 2627075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so anxious and frustrated and disappointed with my mom. She's apparently sobbing to my sister about how selfish and awful me and my siblings all are. At least part of it is that she just asked me this morning if she could stay with us for my daughter's birthday now that it's right around the corner even though I started asking her months ago- in the meantime my bil and sil decided to come and it would be a full house. I told her we could still make it work but she wasn't interested. </p> <p>She's poor, lonely and works long hours, my dad died a few years ago and I know he helped keep our family together better and helped keep her saner. We live far away and see her infrequently. She's a totally narcissistic, everything is about her or a preplanned attack on her- my bil is surely coming to show what a lovely family member he is to make my mom's kids look bad and certainly to take her spot. </p> <p>I 100% admit I haven't been great about calling or doing facetime recently but 1- neither has she and 2-last time I talked to her she "jokingly" accused me of being pregnant but keeping it a secret from her while I was waiting to miscarry. I know she didn't know but it still really hurt. We essentially have zero to talk about except my daughter and how miserable her life is and every time I hang up I feel miserable and low for the rest of the day, it just eats at me. I honestly don't even have a big desire to have a relationship with her and only make the feeblest attempts out of guilt. I do most definitely want her to have a relationship with my daughter though and I'm better about trying to bridge that gap if that makes sense. </p> <p>Help! How do I get over this and not let it consume me and make me grumpy for the rest of the day? </p>