https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 19:05:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166674 Wed, 23 May 2012 17:32:42 +0000 Nskillet 166674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyBoecksMom: I did this today when I finally<br /> Called mom back. I just said I was feeling tired and kinda cranky due to what has felt like a constant stream of visitors. She backed off and suggested early next week for a visit </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166397 Wed, 23 May 2012 13:57:55 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 166397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is the same way. I had to tell her that I felt like I never get any alone time w/ DD (made it sound like I was complaining about everyone else). I think she finally picked up on it because she really has backed off a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166333 Wed, 23 May 2012 13:03:04 +0000 Nskillet 166333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been avoiding her all day now! I spoke with DH who just kinda says "it's up to you, I wont be like mad either way"</p> <p>I don't want her to come over tonight but am worried she will just suggest an alternate date which I won't want either.</p> <p>Damnit, I hate making decisions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166303 Wed, 23 May 2012 12:43:54 +0000 mrs. wagon 166303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: OMG!!! haha!!! your mom would drive me crazy!!! my friend's mom did the same thing when they skyped-- she saw the dog walking around in the background and she FLIPPED. OUT. (p.s. their dog is a 4 lb, 15 year old toothless yorkie) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166299 Wed, 23 May 2012 12:41:39 +0000 hilsy85 166299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: LOL!</p> <p>@Nskillet: I agree with @livsmama--you need to set boundaries now, before this becomes a pattern. Good luck! I know it's often easier said that done, and I'm forseeing a similar battle with my MIL and FIL--they're already super overbearing with DH (seriously, his mom would cut his food up for him if he wanted her to! They're constantly bringing over food and things for us, even though we've said we don't want anything. Super annoying.). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166294 Wed, 23 May 2012 12:40:11 +0000 autumnlove 166294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My Mom and MIL! </p> <p>My Mom analyzes every picture I send her with a fine tooth comb... Why did LO look so tired? Why does she look so dull and unhappy, what are you doing to my granddaughter? You should really dress LO in long sleeve shirts to protect her from the elements. Did I see spit up on her onesie...you should really change her more often. Why didn't DH shave in the most recent picture you sent of LO...he is setting an example that laziness is ok... OMG!!!!</p> <p>@mrs. wagon: LOL! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166265 Wed, 23 May 2012 12:20:21 +0000 mrsjyw 166265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>not my mother, but def my mother in law. dh has been doign well the last six months or so setting our boundaries and such so that she doesn't go nuts when LO is here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166249 Wed, 23 May 2012 12:07:45 +0000 mrs. wagon 166249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>sigh :( this gets to me too, when my MIL calls Wagon Jr. HER baby (as in, "my baby is so cute, my baby is so smart".... hello, YOUR baby is 31 years old now. This one is MINE. I do not recall his 99th percentile head ripping through your vagina.</p> <p>;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166235 Wed, 23 May 2012 11:58:03 +0000 Nskillet 166235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: Same here! She constantly talks about what could go wrong with the baby. How she held us constantly, about cutting pieces of her clothes off cause her arms could get stuck, about riding in the backseat for fear the baby would spit up and choke, being obsessive if she is cold, being scared to put her in the car seat cause she could pinch her skin. Its like she sees I am calm with my baby and thinks I'm a bad mom? I dunno maybe im just easily irritated? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166211 Wed, 23 May 2012 11:41:42 +0000 Modern Daisy 166211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have kids yet, but my Mom is totally overbearing. I recently bought an apartment and my Mom is going totally nutz with suggestions and advice on how to fix the place up. Most of her suggestions are things that don't need to be done at all and would add minimal improvements if any. The last time she came up to visit she actually insisted that we go to a hardware store to talk about light bulbls and tried to pressure me into buying expensive $20 LED bulbs for my entire place that would have cost hundreds. I firmly told her no, but she couldn't contain herself so she bought one for me to try and constantly emails me about it! </p> <p>She's just obsessed with doing things her way and won't accept that I'm a grownup making my own decisions. Lightbulbs (and all the built ins she keeps talking about) are so far down on my priority list I seriously just tune her out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166193 Wed, 23 May 2012 11:27:42 +0000 LivsMama 166193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Nskillet: YES to everything @Jumpingjacks: just said. My mom acts this way sometimes when she knows Liv will be around my dad and Stepmom. She gets very very jealous and tries to shove herself into every situation. That could explain why your mom is overprotective whenother people have the baby </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166188 Wed, 23 May 2012 11:23:22 +0000 Jumpingjacks 166188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Nskillet: ooh, then you might be dealing with jealousy too. My mom has a slight jealous streak of her granddaughters' other grandparents. Even though she wishes she didn't. I think she's afraid they will end up having closer relationships with the other grandparents than with her. She might need reassurance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166177 Wed, 23 May 2012 11:17:40 +0000 Nskillet 166177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the perspective/ideas. It's just hard cause we know she is being nice and loving. It just gets to be a lot. This baby has 8 grandparents! And all of them want time with her. My Mom lives a town over so it complicates matters. Plus this is her one and only granddaughter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166163 Wed, 23 May 2012 11:12:42 +0000 Jumpingjacks 166163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is like this with my nieces. She is too afraid to complain to my brother so she complains to me. She is addicted to them and honestly gets depressed if she can't see them enough. I think its normal. I think my bro and SIL have done a good job of giving her some structure. ie: they ask her to come over for an hour so SIL can do a few things around the house or run an errand. Laundry piles up so she calls my mom to ask if she can come over and help fold it. She always tries to give my mom a job when she's there -- which mom is happy to do. </p> <p>Maybe if you try giving some structure to your mom so she knows she has a role to play, she'll loosen up. She's just trying to figure out her place and it's important to her to have a role, but right now she doesn't know what that is....? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166076 Wed, 23 May 2012 10:42:58 +0000 chopsuey 166076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha. I live far from my mom so I don't have this problem.. but! Have you considered using your mom's overbearingness to your advantage? It might be a good opportunity for you and DH to have some alone time. Go out and grab a bite to eat, go upstairs and cuddle, go watch a movie..?<br /> I would KILL to have my mom close by.. :( Grass is always greener? :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166066 Wed, 23 May 2012 10:40:41 +0000 LivsMama 166066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yiiiiikes. My family lives far away, but my MIL would totally do this. Personally, Ive had my mom make the "but shes MY granddaughter!" argument once to me, and I firmly told her "I know you are well intentioned, but she is OUR daughter." You need to tell your mom that, as well as something like<br /> "We need some space right now to bond as an immediate family and figure out the parenting path on our own. You are still more than welcome to come over, but we'd prefer to limit it until we're in a groove and have had some private time." You might hurt her feelings, but if you dont put your foot down now, you are in for a REALLY long road of her doing this more and more. By then, there will be a precedent of "Well you let me see her three times a week for the first 6 months, why do you expect me to stop now?" She will eventually get it. You need tme as YOUR OWN family, and she is intruding </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166056 Wed, 23 May 2012 10:34:05 +0000 heffalump 166056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is the same way, but I don't mind her visits. It's nice to get a break sometimes! Sorry I don't have any advice .... good luck and I hope you get your space! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/anyone-with-an-overbearing-mom#post-166015 Wed, 23 May 2012 09:50:58 +0000 Nskillet 166015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sigh....</p> <p>My Mom is starting to get on DH and I's nerves a little. My Mom means well, but ends up being a bit smothering. She calls me 2-3 times daily from work, from home, if I posted something on facebook but mostly for no good reason at all. She also wants to stop over after work at least once a week sometimes more to see the baby (3 weeks old) and makes comments about not being able to handle being away from her etc etc. She also gets very posessive when around others with our daughter.</p> <p>I know my Mom means well, and I love her to pieces so Im trying not to sound like a jerk while writing this. Its just she called me today left me a voicemail about stopping over after work when she JUST saw the baby on Saturday for an extended family visit. </p> <p>She also is annoyingly paranoid when around the baby. Can you tell I need some space?! When I tell her no she argues its HER gramddaughter and then my DH goes up a tree.</p> <p>Any suggestions? </p>