https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 18:22:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded/page/2#post-842007 Sat, 08 Jun 2013 15:05:43 +0000 lovehoneybee 842007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have much experience FFing, but I can't imagine that's true at all! If for no other reason: DS and DH are very tightly bonded (I'm day-old toast when Dad's in the room) and DH obviously never breastfed! He doesn't have the benefit of boobs but he's found other ways to bond with him as much as I have! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded/page/2#post-841983 Sat, 08 Jun 2013 14:47:10 +0000 sarac 841983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The breastfeeding bond is amazing, special, and totally unique. Mine with my daughter ranks among the most amazing in my life. But it is ABSOLUTELY NOT an issue of more - it is just one of the nine million ways to bond with your child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded/page/2#post-841726 Sat, 08 Jun 2013 11:44:34 +0000 photojane 841726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Of course they're not less bonded - that's silliness! Anyone who says so is lying/confused/misinformed. I was bonded with my little bestie baby as soon as I saw her scrunchy face, and she hadn't eaten anything yet! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded/page/2#post-841671 Sat, 08 Jun 2013 10:49:53 +0000 oliviaoblivia 841671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the bonding bit is propaganda. I had a rough start BFing and felt feelings of resentment towards dd when she was hungry again.<br /> DH can't breastfeed and he's certainly bonded to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-841664 Sat, 08 Jun 2013 10:44:12 +0000 Lindsay05 841664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I breastfed for 4 months (pumped to 6 months) and we probably had more battles during feeding time than bonding. There were many times (mostly near the end) where we both ended up in tears because of it. Although we did have some close moments bfing, we were both much happier when we switched over to bottles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-841662 Sat, 08 Jun 2013 10:40:16 +0000 stargal 841662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for responding, I was relieved to hear everyone's responses, for some reason ( maybe the breastfeeding culture is partly to blame) I thought people would say it does affecting bonding and I was depriving my son of that.<br /> Also hope this posy didn't offend anyone, i just wanted to hear other people's opinions . and this is coming from a formula feeding momma. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-841522 Sat, 08 Jun 2013 08:46:26 +0000 pl0508 841522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this notion is ridiculous and agree with others who have said bonding with your child is not dependent on how they are fed. I was formula fed and am closer with my mom than anyone else in the world. She's my mom and when I was little I didn't know or care about how I was fed. All I knew was she was my mother, she had never let me down, and I could always count on her. I BF and do feel incredibly bonded to my son but that (for me) has nothing to do with him nursing. In fact, I have an intense letdown and he prefers one side over the other. I don't mind nursing him but when I do give a pumped bottle it is almost a relief and more enjoyable because I don't have to worry about these things. My nursing experience overall has been positive and I feel very fortunate that I've been able to breastfeed but I do not feel like it has been pivotal in my bonding experience with my son ! </p> <p>I will say I do think that bottle feeding HAS helped my husband bond. I started pumping a bottle each day at 1 wk old for DH to give and I'm glad I did. It has become a part of the day he looks forward to a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-841423 Sat, 08 Jun 2013 06:58:10 +0000 blackbird 841423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kemma, I think that has more to do with the father being less involved or not at all in ANY of the child's feedings. I know if DH did all the feedings and I never got to feed my own kid, I would feel detached. No matter how she is fed. Especially if I was at work all day</p> <p>ETA I also think a big factor is expectation. If you plan to BF and expect it to help you bond, and then can't, I think you'll be more likely to struggle because you were counting on BFing to bond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-841409 Sat, 08 Jun 2013 06:37:24 +0000 loveisstrange 841409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: I stick by what I said. My statement of bonding no matter what holds true in both situations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-841363 Sat, 08 Jun 2013 04:37:08 +0000 Kemma 841363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@zippylef: and yet the flip side of this is that a lot of "people" suggest that a father isn't capable or is less capable of bonding with his child if he can't feed them or the baby is exclusively breastfed.</p> <p>It's only natural that the bond will be influenced by the method of feeding but that's ok, one is not necessarily better than the other and feeding is only a small part of bringing up a child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830532 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 14:33:00 +0000 mrsjyw 830532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I don't think the way you feed your baby (bottle or boob) is what impacts bonding with your baby. I think most BFing moms feel bonded through the physical connection during nursing, but that in and of itself does not constitute the only or better way of bonding with a child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830530 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 14:32:52 +0000 winniebee 830530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No - I don't think I'm any less bonded to my son b/c I pumped. Actually, I started bonding to him better after I started pumping because I was less stressed about BF. I can't imagine being more bonded to my boy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830525 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 14:32:05 +0000 MrsF 830525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only have our experience to go on, but I had such a hard time breastfeeding that I think it was actually preventing me from bonding with M. It got to the point where I would watch the clock and just dread her next feeding. Obviously a lot of people get past this stage, but when we switched to formula at 3 months I felt like I could get past my anxiety and just be with her.</p> <p>I love feeding her, even though it's from a bottle. I try to be as present as I can when she's eating. Before bed when I feed her in the rocking chair in her dark room with her falling asleep in my arms - watching her actually brings tears to my eyes. I can't imagine feeling closer to anyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830521 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 14:31:35 +0000 Honeybee 830521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. Both of my kids were formula-fed, and I'd say both of them are very bonded to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830515 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 14:30:09 +0000 Crisark 830515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@zippylef: Umm where can I "Like" this...seriously feel the same way! And I heart you for posting it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830498 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 14:26:24 +0000 lomom 830498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been working to get LO back to the breast after EPing for 6 weeks and I feel much closer to him than when I was EPing and bottle feeding. I don't know if its the physical act of nursing or if its just because I'm able to spend way more time with him since I'm not strapped to the pump all the time. I'm way more present during nursing since we're just learning and I'm very focused on his latch, his swallowing, and keeping him awake.</p> <p>I had a really strong desire to breastfeed while I was pregnant so I struggled with feeling like a failure when I bottle fed, even though it was still breastmilk. I had a lot of guilt about the circumstances of his birth (he was a preemie, I felt like my body had failed him) so getting him to nurse has been really important and I think it's helped in my situation but I don't think it's the only way to bond by any means and I do think its horrible that the guilt-mongering breast-is-best culture acts like its the only way to bond. I shed a lot of tears over the idea that that was the only way to bond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830381 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 13:57:12 +0000 loveisstrange 830381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely, emphatically NO. </p> <p>It actually really aggravates me when people talk about how they want to breastfeed so they can bond. Um... you'll bond anyway. Just one of the many things about breastfeeding "culture" that I find condescending and ridiculous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830139 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 13:06:24 +0000 luckypenny 830139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All I will say is, no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830119 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 13:03:20 +0000 rachiecakes 830119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: in my gut I feel it's just J's personality. I'm the same way. My mother tells me I was the independent/active one, my brother was quiet and cuddly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830072 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:55:55 +0000 looch 830072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not at all. My son was formula fed and to imply otherwise is insulting.</p> <p>Oh, and I wanted to add, that just because a mom is nursing doesn't mean she is paying attention, NAK anyone? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830066 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:55:04 +0000 heffalump 830066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way. My LO was formula fed and sometimes I think we're a little too bonded :) She has always wanted me to be the one to comfort her, and at 22 months she is all about mommy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830034 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:47:49 +0000 T.H.O.U. 830034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: I am a full time WOHM who EBF (plus BM bottles at daycare). I have a SUPER clingy little one who constantly has to be physically touch me skin to skin. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830026 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:46:36 +0000 Maysprout 830026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it can help on the mom's end since there are hormones that are released that help you relax and feel good. I also started to feel anxious if my breasts got full so I had a boob timer that made me have a strong desire to get back to baby if I was away. </p> <p>But there's lots of things that help parents bond. My husband is very attached to my daughter despite not breastfeeding and they've had a really strong bond with her since she was born, he gets lots of comments about how obviously over the moon LO is about him. He gave her maybe one bottle a day so he developed and kept that bond strong despite not having many feeding opportunities, so there's lots of ways to keep a strong bond. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-830000 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:41:08 +0000 rachiecakes 830000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would've loved to EBF 24/7 but alas I had to go back to work, so DS got his food from BM bottles during the day. I don't know if his independence is a result of being away from me for long stretches since he was 7 weeks old. Maybe it's just his personality?<br /> I've known breastfed babies of SAHMs that are super attached to their mamas and really cuddly, where DS has always been a wild little man. On the flip side, I never had to deal with stranger anxiety or a clingy baby.<br /> who knows? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-829995 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:40:22 +0000 hummusgirl 829995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it makes a difference. If anything, I was forced to be more "present" bottle feeding because I needed both hands (one to hold him, one to hold the bottle) so was totally focused on him whereas when he was BFing it was easier to support him with one hand and play on my phone with the other. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-829986 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:38:49 +0000 runsyellowlites 829986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@stargal: Idk if there's any certain thing(s) they do/did that are different, it just feels different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-829962 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:34:57 +0000 stargal 829962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: what different things have you noticed between the two kids? just curious :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-829937 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:31:07 +0000 teamjse 829937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I completely agree with you, BFing didn't work out for us, DS has been on formula since he was a month old and he's super close to me and I feel like we bonded just fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-829923 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:28:29 +0000 runsyellowlites 829923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both my kids are bonded just fine.... I do have to say that in the stage of infancy &amp; now early toddlerhood it is definitely a different kind of bond breastfeeding P than it was ff/bottlefeeding G. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-formula-fed-babies-less-bonded#post-829906 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:25:19 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 829906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do think it has helped me to bond because I have to think a ton about our day together. I have to build in downtime to nurse in a quiet area, etc. (He won't nurse in a noisy or bright area, although he will take a bottle in public). Usually when I am getting overfull/uncomfortable, that coincides with him being hungry! So sometimes it feels like our needs are connected. However, I've never had a child who was exclusively bottlefed so I'm really not sure about how it differs! My baby isn't all that interested in being held for no good reason anymore, so nursing is our cuddle time! I'm still planning to wean at a year, but I think I'll miss nursing a lot. </p>