https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 16:35:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538540 Mon, 02 May 2016 08:24:15 +0000 snowjewelz 2538540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They should have asked! I would have gladly let them hold the baby but not without asking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538519 Mon, 02 May 2016 08:10:47 +0000 Mrs D 2538519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have not read all the responses yet but my sister and I had a bit of an argument when E was born (my second). When her husband and son (5 yo) came to meet her for the first time (she was 10 days old) her son (my nephew) came running over and put his hands all over her face. I politely grabbed his hand and said "No no X...we only touch the babies feet"...</p> <p>My sister glared at me and said "oh its ok X...you're being nice"...mind you this is all in front of him...I replied with "you were being gentle X but we are only touching the babies feet right now because she is so little and could get sick easily."</p> <p>My sister then goes "ok X...I guess you are only allowed to touch the babies feet for some reason". My head exploded. First - its a 10 day old baby and your son goes to daycare (as does my other daughter) come on - hes full of germs. Second - why the F are you teaching a 5 year old its ok to touch a newborn in a carrier on the face...so unacceptable to teach him this is ok behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538484 Mon, 02 May 2016 07:38:32 +0000 Mrs. Marshmallow 2538484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have five nieces and nephews, and undoubtedly they will be holding our baby when he/she comes. I am perfectly fine with that, but I would like to be asked first and would like to make sure they're doing it correctly. And because they're kids I might encourage them to wash their hands first </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538369 Sun, 01 May 2016 21:26:13 +0000 PinkElephant 2538369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They definitely should have asked you first! And washed hands, and held the baby "with" the child, etc. I would have thought that one "turn" per child holding the newborn would have been plenty, after which I as the parent of the older child would have tried to redirect him/her, claiming the baby needed to rest.</p> <p>I was really surprised this week when I was on a playdate with a mom of a two year old and two month old I had literally just met that morning. My nearly two year old was gently petting the baby (with permission from the mom, after I'd initially said no) and asked to hold her - again, I tried to redirect her, but the mom urged me to let her, and helped my daughter hold the baby. So I guess some people are more laid back about it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538358 Sun, 01 May 2016 21:05:02 +0000 Mama Bird 2538358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be a little bit worried about a toddler not being strong enough to hold a baby... maybe not so much if they were closely supervised, but still, they should ask you first.</p> <p>It didn't occur to me before to freak out that a minute of a toddler holding baby would get her sick, but experience shows I was wrong... most of my family recently had the flu that seems to have come from someone (who wasn't even visibly sick) holding or touching DD very briefly. She's only nine months, it was horrible, and now I bark if any kids I don't know come near her with the best intentions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538346 Sun, 01 May 2016 20:43:20 +0000 babynumber1 2538346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Meh, she should have asked, but a 4 year old should be ok to hold a baby with mom right there. Hand washing should have occurred. This would be NBD to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538344 Sun, 01 May 2016 20:35:43 +0000 GreenThumb 2538344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OMG, I totally remember freaking out internally when my sister handed my 3 month old to my nephew who was 3 years old at the time. My DH was not pleased either, but we didn't say anything. I wasn't worried about germs, more that he was going to drop her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538341 Sun, 01 May 2016 20:29:54 +0000 lovehoneybee 2538341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The germs wouldn't bother me SO much, but I wouldn't be comfortable with a very young child holding my newborn. They just can't understand how careful you need to be! My 3.5 year old still can't hold my 4.5 month old without me hovering. Maybe I'm overprotective but I even got antsy when my 12 year old nephew held her the first few times! </p> <p>That said, I would be okay with a child holding my LO while on an adult's lap (as in, an adult also supporting the baby). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538311 Sun, 01 May 2016 19:35:51 +0000 autumnlove 2538311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm ok if they ask for permission. I also offer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538264 Sun, 01 May 2016 17:41:39 +0000 Peasinapod 2538264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I may be a bit extreme but I was super uncomfortable with ppl holding my newborn, never mind children. I'm hoping when #2 comes that baby wearing will effectively discourage any baby passing ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538261 Sun, 01 May 2016 17:31:44 +0000 JennyLayneAZ 2538261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would feel the same. We had visitors on Friday, DH's brother, SIL, and neices/nephew. And I was internally freaking out about the older kids holding P. And the youngest of the older kids is 9. So, yeah I wouldn't have been ok with a 4 and 2 year old holding her! For the record, their 3 y/o wanted to hold her but SIL wouldn't let him, thank goodness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538256 Sun, 01 May 2016 17:15:01 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2538256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm totally ok with kids wanting to hold a baby but you still make sure they wash their hands first and check with mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538255 Sun, 01 May 2016 17:11:15 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2538255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At 4, maybe, at 2 definitely not. I think SIL and MIL should have asked you first and also made the girls wash their hands before settling into place. Sometimes I think people make exceptions (judgment lapse) because it's family. I bet (hope) that if MIL and SIL encountered a curious yet unfamiliar child that wanted to hold S they would be more cautious and seek you out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538247 Sun, 01 May 2016 16:28:15 +0000 FancyGem 2538247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I lived far away when my son was little, so we didn't have this problem. If we have another child, I will have everyone wash their hands before touching my child. I will also ask adults to help small children "hold" my child. I will not let anyone who is sick near my child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538240 Sun, 01 May 2016 16:21:23 +0000 Cherrybee 2538240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: I felt like I couldn't..... especially since I mentioned it to DH yesterday (after my friend did the same thing with her 3.5 year old) and he said I was being unreasonable and weird. It was his family and he is totally ok with it, as are his parents clearly..... I was made to feel like nobody in the world ever would ever feel like this. I'm glad I posted here and clarified that, actually, 2/3 people would feel exactly like I do! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538239 Sun, 01 May 2016 16:20:52 +0000 Foodnerd81 2538239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They should have asked. I've been pretty laid back about my second, since the toddler brings home plenty of germs anyway, but I still ask people to wash their hands, adults and kids. I did encourage my 5 yo nephew to hold her when he visited but my sister made sure he washed his hands first and made sure I was ok with it. Similarly when C asked to hold my friends baby before G was born, I made sure she was really ok with it first and made her wash hands. But I will admit I'm less worries about other people's germs around the baby this time around since C has pretty much had a cold since she was born. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538237 Sun, 01 May 2016 16:12:59 +0000 Torchwood 2538237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be pretty furious. But I'd have said something after the first incident so the second wouldn't have happened. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538231 Sun, 01 May 2016 16:05:42 +0000 erinbaderin 2538231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's funny you posted this, because my friends just left our house, they let their 4 and 6 year olds hold my 6 week old a number of times, they never asked, and it bothered me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538218 Sun, 01 May 2016 15:21:17 +0000 xInfinity 2538218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally, it wouldn't have bothered me since the kids were sitting and had an adult right there supervising. I'm assuming the kids did not have a cold/illness because if they had I wouldn't have allowed them to come visit in the first place.</p> <p>That being said, this is your child and all that matters is what you are comfortable with. When I recently visited my newborn niece it never even occurred to me to have my dd hold the baby, she sat beside me and just looked. But I would have asked permission first if I was wanting her to hold her cousin especially because a FTM doesn't need extra stress. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538214 Sun, 01 May 2016 15:13:44 +0000 Cherrybee 2538214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>FWIW, they were closely supervised, their mum made sure the head was supported etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538211 Sun, 01 May 2016 15:09:37 +0000 caterw 2538211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think they would have needed some help holding the baby... 4 and 2 are pretty young to hold a newborn alone. Plus everyone should wash hands before picking up a tiny baby. I would be upset too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538173 Sun, 01 May 2016 14:11:29 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2538173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't like it, but aside from the germy factor I wouldn't lose sleep over it either. The germ thing would bug me because my three year old got my then newborn sick and we wound up (just for testing) in the hospital for a few days. It wasn't the end of the world but it wasn't fun either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538172 Sun, 01 May 2016 14:11:26 +0000 FaithFertility 2538172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My biggest issue is clean hands, I would have asked them to wash them first!!!!!!!!<br /> Sorry that would have gave me HUGE anxiety! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538171 Sun, 01 May 2016 14:10:21 +0000 Cherrybee 2538171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: Yes, because this isn't the first time it has happened - my BFF came over yesterday and did the same with her 3.5 year old (and I was pretty weirded out about it then, too..... then imagine my horror when it happened again today!). The germs, people, the germs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538170 Sun, 01 May 2016 14:09:38 +0000 catlady 2538170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't have wanted them holding a 3 week old, even if they had asked. However, I would probably have said yes anyway, but asked them to wash hands. I never wanted my niece and nephew to hold LO when she was an infant (they were 3 and 6 at that point and have never been very well behaved). I was a bit of a mama bear back then though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538163 Sun, 01 May 2016 14:04:08 +0000 PawPrints 2538163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You definitely should have been asked. For a baby that young, nobody gets to hold without explicit permission. I would think there would be a question about whether a 2-year-old knows how to properly hold a tiny newborn, in addition to the germs issue before LO has even had the 2-month shots. Your DH's reaction is bizarre. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538162 Sun, 01 May 2016 14:02:09 +0000 youboots 2538162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's not cool not to ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538152 Sun, 01 May 2016 13:54:38 +0000 runnerd 2538152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only part that would bother me is the baby's age/germs, but honestly I'm pretty laid back and would have been fine with it. I would never let my child hold a baby without asking though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538149 Sun, 01 May 2016 13:50:01 +0000 LemonJack 2538149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have felt uncomfortable too! My nieces and nephew held DD when she was a newborn, but they washed their hands first and the youngest one (3 at the time) had a lot of assistance each time. I'm also close to them so I was happy to have them hold her. If it were any other children that age I would have felt uncomfortable, especially if I wasn't asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-my-feelings-about-young-children-holding-my-baby-unusual#post-2538144 Sun, 01 May 2016 13:47:08 +0000 travelgirl1 2538144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I have found that in England people seem far less concerned with passing germs on to babies, even brand new ones. It's been quite an issue for us.</p> <p>I don't think you are weird for feeling like that at all. The long and short of it is you should be asked before anyone holds your baby. </p>