https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 23 May 2026 16:24:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous/page/2#post-1844724 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 07:57:20 +0000 immabeetoo 1844724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JMOM: You've already had lots of responses -- I think everyone's definition of frivolous is different and you should feel zero need to defend your decision.</p> <p>I had/have the exact same thing, 3finger &amp; umbilical hernia and am pregnant with #2. My midwive told me she thinks it will be medically necessary to repair after this pregnancy and honestly I was a little relieved, because it took the pressure off my decision. I'd love to hear more about when you had the surgery, the recovery, etc. if you are willing to share - can be on my wall or by email if you're more comfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1844707 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 07:42:31 +0000 mediagirl 1844707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely not, depending on the circumstances.</p> <p>Example: Think about the people on The Biggest Loser. They lose a lot of weight in a short period of time. That leaves them with a lot of extra skin to deal with. That makes them feel like everything they have done has been for naught. So, a tummy tuck makes their end goal - being at a healthy weight - finally a realization. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1844704 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 07:37:25 +0000 hilary 1844704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it makes you feel better, then it served a purpose and isn't frivolous. Ironically if you told this same group that you had laser hair removal no one would probably bat an eye even though for most people that's just because they don't want to shave any more. (Ok maybe just me and I want it so bad!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1844629 Tue, 02 Sep 2014 02:50:50 +0000 Snowdrop 1844629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mum had cosmetic surgery after a botched op left her with a massive hernia and needing to wear a corset to walk, was that frivolous? Most sane people would say no. Neither is having plastic surgery after a car accident for example. So just because your muscle damage was as a result of pregnancy you should learn to live with it and accept the health problems as a result?! I do not think it was frivolous at all.<br /> That said, these women probably weren't thinking of situations like yours and I very much doubt it will be a regular topic of conversation so I would just let it go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1844611 Mon, 01 Sep 2014 23:42:28 +0000 candymum 1844611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think unless someone is in your shoes they won't understand you. I put on so much weight with both my pregnancies which I'm trying to lose but I know no matter how much weight I lose or exercises I do I'll be left with a mess of a stomach. It's shocking. Women who go through pregnancies and are able to get their bodies back are so blessed in my opinion. It's really hard to look into a mirror and see something so different then it used to be. So, more power to you. Don't tell them, it's none of their business but also it's not something everyone can understand unless they've been in your shoes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1844569 Mon, 01 Sep 2014 22:11:58 +0000 HLK208 1844569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would get one and not tell anyone except really close friends! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1844565 Mon, 01 Sep 2014 22:08:59 +0000 blackbird 1844565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, she must be one of those magical women who work out and have a 6 pack of abs all thanks to diet and exercise post baby. Her skin probably snapped right back with some unicorn dust. So she obviously thinks everyone else's should too </p> <p>I'm totally planning on getting one. My hard work doesn't seem to do shit for my midsection. I'm so over it. </p> <p>And honestly? I bet more moms want one but don't want to admit to being "frivolous" in front of the other moms. Heaven forbid you spend a solid chunk of money on yourself to fix the frump :) I also find that some women are just downright nasty about moms who look good post baby (whether it's exercise or plastic surgery or what)...and a tummy tuck is just easy pickings, I suppose </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832414 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 12:23:10 +0000 Weagle 1832414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: I'm a wimp too! After hearing my mom describe what it was like to help my aunt recover from cosmetic surgery I swore it off for good! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832394 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 11:53:52 +0000 .twist. 1832394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there is already a ton of great advice here for you, so I just wanted to add my support that I would have done the same thing in your situation and I don't think it's any ones business what you do with your body. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832378 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 11:36:05 +0000 artsyfartsy 1832378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Diet and exercise is the most important, but there's some things that won't fix. Our beautiful babies make it hard on our bodies. When I'm done having kids, I'm planning on saving up for a breast reduction and lift and maybe a tummy tuck (I haven't lost all the weight yet so I'm unsure if I'll still feel like I need one when I do). You have to feel happy. I love my boobs because they feed my son. But they're also size F's now and I'm 5'0". Imagine that picture. Haha</p> <p>It's not frivolous if it makes you feel better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832373 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 11:31:19 +0000 birdofafeather 1832373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsH: you worded it better than i could!</p> <p>i probably wouldn't get one, but i don't have a reason or need and don't have the resources either! your reasons sound plenty legit to me and i would have been eating crow if i were in that group and you dropped that info. thanks for informing me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832356 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 11:13:04 +0000 lawbee11 1832356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think they're frivolous...I would've done the exact same thing in your situation. That said, I also probably wouldn't tell the moms in the mom group just because I don't think it's any of their business. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832355 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 11:12:13 +0000 FliegepilzHut 1832355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my general, reflexive response (re: all cosmetic surgery) is "yes." Having said that, there are exceptions to every generalization...and it seems like your 3-4 finger diastasis and hernia are a very reasonable exception. As others have said, how much do you really care what we/they think...and want to explain? I think I would treat it like any other sensitive topic (like IF, m/c, whatever)...as in, "is the person I'm telling likely to be sympathetic to me" and "is my telling them likely to be helpful to them in any way (even if that just means that they will be more thoughtful when the discussion strays to certain topics)?". Just my thoughts. Embrace your positive body image! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832349 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 11:04:50 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1832349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like the women in the group were making generalizations and sweeping statements!</p> <p>To each their own, right? I don't think you made a frivolous decision. I want one but don't know if I could handle the surgery. I'm a wimp! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832346 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 11:03:04 +0000 JMOM 1832346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Grace: Thanks for your honesty. No, I probably won't tell the story each time. I wish I was one of those people who didn't care what others thought, but unfortunately I do. Maybe this is why I still feel awkward about sharing it. But, I'm thankful for all you Bees who are willing to be honest about what you think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832342 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:57:48 +0000 JMOM 1832342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Awesome, I'm so glad your diastasis healed. I don't know about you, but it really took a toll on my self esteem when I always looked pregnant. Truthfully, maybe in the back of my mind this bothers me so much because I think that maybe I didn't do enough or find the right treatment before I went for the plastic surgery. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832333 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:47:29 +0000 youboots 1832333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anagram I am in huge agreement with you. </p> <p>The old the more you suffer for your children the better mother you are does not ring true to me, I did not quite "get it" until I read Bringing Up Bebe and it put into words what I felt but could never quite grasp. Happy parents have happier children, or at least I would like to think so.</p> <p>@jmom good for you lady, you do not need to mentally defend yourself. It sounds like you made an awesome choice that made a big difference in you life. In general, I don't think it's some shameful secret, but it's also not really something you have to spill about to a group of new people. Let it go. Enjoy your decision. </p> <p>If elective surgery would improve my life I would totally do it and feel awesome about my decision. One of my best friends got a gorgeous breast augmentation and now she feels whole, not anything major, just proportionate to her body. Right on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832332 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:47:25 +0000 Grace 1832332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, my first reaction would be that it's frivolous because a person puts themselves at risk to have an medically unnecessary surgery. If you were to tell me about the diastasis, it would probably make me feel like you had been less frivolous. I guess the question is, do you want to have to explain the whole story all the time? Especially since my opinion (and everyone else's) really doesn't matter? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832328 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:44:52 +0000 yoursilverlining 1832328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Who cares what they think? Who cares if it's frivolous? Lots and lots and lots of things in life are frivolous. Most things we have/do are. It's very easy for people who had physically easy pregnancies and who bounced back to shape quickly after to judge; meh, eff them. </p> <p>If you want to share with them, do so. If not, I don't think that means you feel guilty or ashamed about your choice. I had 3 finger-width diastasis too, and it took 16 months to fully heal and to get cleared to do *any* ab work at all. 16 months of looking pregnant. It sucked - a lot. I don't buy into the I'm-so-proud-of-my-ruined-body ideal either; I just don't. So, I've definitely thought about a tummy tuck too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832327 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:43:36 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 1832327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would get one in a heartbeat if I could, lol. I think that if it makes you feel better about yourself, that's the only justification you need. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832323 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:35:46 +0000 Mrs. Detour 1832323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I have already started talking about having things put back in place if need be when we're done having kids. It seems pointless given my work schedule to spend a year being unhappy with how I look and spending time at the gym (instead of doing sports that I actually like) when there is a solution that is likely in our budget. I think of it like make-up: yes, if I spent a ton of time on skincare, got facials, avoided all sun, and slept more I probably wouldn't need it, but that's soooo not my life. 3 minutes with Mr. BB cream is a shortcut that I'm happy to take. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832322 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:35:02 +0000 Maysprout 1832322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think having a flat stomach is a perk<br /> more than a necessity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832314 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:23:04 +0000 JMOM 1832314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@loveisstrange: That cracked me up - thanks.</p> <p>@wonderstruck: I really, really wanted to drop a "I had a tummy tuck and you guys are completely wrong" bomb, but I didn't. :-)</p> <p>Thanks everyone for your comments. Tummy tucks are not for everyone, but it has made me more comfortable in my own skin. Real friends wouldn't judge so I'll probably keep this info for them. But, sometimes I think moms need to know about diastasis recti more - because there are women who do endless sit-ups and crunches, and because they have a diastasis, they are just making their problem worse. I went to a surgeon about my umbilical hernia and he told me I was just babying my stomach and I needed to do more crunches. I couldn't believe it- I had seen 2 doctors and a physical therapist and they all told me never to do crunches again. Stepping off soapbox now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832309 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:20:28 +0000 avivoca 1832309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Frivolous? Hardly, in my opinion. Especially because it makes you feel better about yourself and it fixed a medical issue you were having. It isn't shameful to have one, so feel free to share if you want to, or don't if that makes you feel more comfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832308 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:19:37 +0000 night cheese 1832308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think they're frivolous, but I also think that whatever anyone chooses to do with their body is none of my business. </p> <p>Basically, if someone can afford a tummy tuck and it makes them feel better about themselves, then good for them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832301 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:09:28 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1832301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think so! I admitted to DH I want one because I know it will get rid of some stretch marks and the pooch. I work out consistently and that's still not gone.. I wouldn't judge anyone for having one. But like you, I feel like I wouldn't be inclined to tell many people for the same reasons as you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832299 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:05:17 +0000 Smurfette 1832299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it makes you feel better about yourself then I see nothing wrong with it. Feeling good about yourself only makes you a better person and therefor a better mother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832298 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 10:03:57 +0000 fairy 1832298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For some people, just going to the gym and dieting will work, but others have irreparable damage from pregnancy, etc and the only "cure" is a tummy tuck. Good for you for getting one and don't let them make you feel lazy or selfish for it. I would absolutely consider it after I am finished having kids because although I am thin, I have a loose wrinkly belly from pregnancy that I wouldn't mind getting rid of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832289 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 09:54:02 +0000 rachiecakes 1832289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are plenty of things eating right and going to the gym won't fix.<br /> Don't let what others say bother you. You did what was right for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-tummy-tucks-frivolous#post-1832285 Sat, 23 Aug 2014 09:52:36 +0000 hilsy85 1832285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsH: totally agree</p> <p>I think it doesn't matter why you get one, you're well within your right to do it if you want to! You don't need to justify it or rationalize it to anyone. </p>