https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 04:55:47 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-355331 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 07:22:40 +0000 Mrs.M57 355331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, no I think you are just be great parents! I agree with pp that if you feel that it fits your life, you are not spoiling her! I spend every waking moment with my lo, and even wear her for chores. She has plenty of time in her life to be independent, for now she's a baby and just as she is the center of my life, I know hubby and I are the center of hers. So we enjoy her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-354054 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 13:18:45 +0000 sarac 354054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, that's some weird projection on the part of your friends. I wouldn't think about it for a second. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-353886 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 11:59:51 +0000 T.H.O.U. 353886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally know what you mean about being a working mom and wanting to devote time to your LO. I get to see my LO for 2 hours at night. During those two hours, I do the bare minimum possible (aka make dinner, eat dinner, bath, etc) of work that I can do and the rest is spent with devoted to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-353524 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 09:57:21 +0000 mrs. wagon 353524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say the opposite-- if you WEREN'T spending your available time with your baby and enjoying the family togetherness to the fullest, you could be considered NEGLECTING your baby. Our older kid is 2 years, 10 months and we STILL don't leave him alone very often, even if he's just playing by himself in the living room-- we still sit on the couch and watch him play if we're not getting up to play with him.</p> <p>Do our kids run our lives? Well... kinda! But that's kinda why we had them!! I didn't have babies so that I could leave them all the time. Leaving them to make money at work-- sure. Leaving them from time to time to hang out with friends-- sure. But my everyday life is now centered around spending time with my family, the people I love the most. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-353113 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 21:03:29 +0000 erinpye 353113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is actually not possible to spoil a baby that young. The notion of being able to "spoil" an infant is really old-fashioned. Babies need their parents for both physical and emotional needs and they communicate that by crying. Holding your baby is fulfilling an emotional need, not spoiling her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-353095 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 20:47:32 +0000 pinkcupcake 353095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds to me you are absolutely doing everything right! I'm home all day with L, and I'm always holding her or right next to her. When DH is home, all he does is cuddle and play with her. She's never, ever alone, and we don't feel like "spoiling" her - we are just doing what feels right and natural. I don't know what we would do if we weren't holding her or interacting with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-353037 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 20:02:33 +0000 brownie 353037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: maybe he is projecting wishing he could spoil his kids more or that he didn't spoil them as much (because of how they act).</p> <p>You are going to have lots of people tell you things. Some may help most probably won't. My personal philosophy is that if I am happy than it doesn't matter what others say. We cobed and he still wakes at night. We are still okay with this even though he is 18 months old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-353032 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 20:01:31 +0000 Andrea 353032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not sure what else you're supposed to be doing? Leave her home alone? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-353027 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 19:54:14 +0000 autumnlove 353027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way, you are just spending quality time with her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-353025 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 19:53:20 +0000 mediagirl 353025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>THANK YOU. I really didn't understand where his friend was coming from so that's why I came here to ask those questions. He made me second guess how I'm parenting and she's still a baby! I like our life now. I like that our weekend is all about her. It's so important to me to spend time with her and help her learn, then watch her learn. </p> <p>This is a friend of my husband's who I don't really hang out with. I guess my husband tells the guys at work about our home life and sometimes he gets weird reactions like this one. This guy has three kids, too! </p> <p>@brownie: I don't get it. My husband doesn't even hang out with him after work. I'm really don't understand what he thinks we should be doing. </p> <p>@Rubies: Hahaha. You're awesome. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-353024 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 19:53:07 +0000 yoursilverlining 353024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I don't think you are spoiling her - what are you suppose to do all weekend; ignore her and leave her by herself?! No way; weekends are made for snuggling with your family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-353019 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 19:46:29 +0000 MamaBehr 353019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have to agree with everyone else, you are NOT spoiling her. It is called "having a relationship" and "parenting." What are you suppose to do? Put her down on the floor for hours at a time?! I have a two and a half year old (who can certainly be spoiled) and I spend almost every moment with her (I'm a SAHM) and on the weekends, I sometimes take a nap with her! I guess I don't see giving a child love and attention as spoiling him or her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-353001 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 19:32:08 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 353001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wonder what your friends would tell me...I spend all day with LO every day! I think it is so critical at this time in their life. So to answer your question, no you are absolutely not spoiling LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-352997 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 19:20:30 +0000 prettylizy 352997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think so at all. Babies deserve to be cuddled and held and loved on. You love on her ass much as you can, you have to work during the week, spend your weekends as a happy loving family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-352988 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 19:08:04 +0000 mamabolt 352988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you are then we are too! That's very similar to what our life with baby is like. Sounds like your friends are just clueless about what it's like having a LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-352984 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 19:03:43 +0000 meredithNYC 352984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: Do these friends have children? It just seems like such a rude thing to say and I'm not sure what would compel them to share that with you, even if they believe it to be true. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-352973 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 18:57:26 +0000 brownie 352973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there are 2 separate things here;</p> <p>1) spoiling - There is no way you are spoiling your child. Spoiling isn't anything unless there are behavior issues because of it. At 4 months old there probably aren't. </p> <p>2) she's running your life - this again is only a problem if you feel it is a problem. My son is most certainly the center of my life. That doesn't mean that I don't get to do some of my own things. I think only you can decide if she is taking more than what you are offering. </p> <p>Your friends are probably feeling abandoned by you. They may not always want your little one around. If you want to keep them as friends, you may want to get a babysitter one night (maybe after 7 pm) and go out with them without the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-352970 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 18:55:34 +0000 Mrs. Pen 352970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: haha I was gonna say the same thing!!</p> <p>I think that what's right varies between families. I spend a ton of one-on-one time with my son, and I'm a SAHM! Yes I am sometimes on my phone/computer while he has play time alone, but in general, he is never "alone". On the weekends DH spend nearly every waking second with him because he doesn't see him at all during the week (12-14 hour work days; some days he's asleep when he leaves, and asleep when he gets home). I don't see DH as spoiling him, I see him as <i>investing into his life</i>. I think these early years are CRUCIAL for setting the tone of your relationship. If you instill in them that you value them and quality time with them right now, they will be more likely to spend quality time with YOU when they're older. The more you listen to them and show interest in their life, the more they will let you in their lives when they are older.</p> <p>I am a young mom and still remember childhood/teenagedom freshly; I remember not trusting my mom because she never listened or showed interest interest - why should I trust her as a teen??</p> <p>Anyone that was probably way more in depth than you wanted. haha!! Short answer: no freakin way!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-352967 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 18:51:14 +0000 Freckles 352967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @rubies! She's still young, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with your baby. I think it is good to allow for some independent play time, but i don't think you're spoiling her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-352966 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 18:51:13 +0000 bpcmarj 352966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are not spoiling her! This sounds like what we do except Penny has no schedule. It's good for infants to be interacted with and talked to; it helps their development! Plus, she's only going to get more fun to play with and talk to in the next couple of months so you'll want to do it more! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-352960 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 18:45:45 +0000 Rubies 352960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ummm, who are these friends???? You're doing what any NORMAL parent would do!!! Maybe I'm not reading it properly but what do they think you're supposed to do, ignore your baby? As for the baby running your life - that's sort of what happens when you're taking care of a helpless infant. And I just call it a change in lifestyle. Anyway, who are these people, give me their number and I'll have a stern word with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-we-spoiling-our-4-month-old#post-352956 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 18:39:43 +0000 mediagirl 352956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are both working parents and we get about 2 hours a night on the weekdays with our daughter. On the weekend we like spending time with her. One of us is usually playing with her, smiling at her, taking her for walks, holding her, feeding her, etc. She doesn't spend much time alone unless she is sleeping. She does sit in her bouncer, lay on her playmat and lay in her pack n play but we like to interact with her while she's awake. </p> <p>She's on a schedule - eat, play, nap, wake time. She goes to sleep by 7pm every night. We just like being with her during the day. </p> <p>Friends of my husband recently said she's running our lives. So, are we spoiling her by spending so much time with her? Is this type of constant attention at this age weird? </p>