https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 11 May 2026 22:13:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1068276 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 18:32:34 +0000 mrsbookworm 1068276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We decided I would stay at home since it would be a really long day at daycare based on the commuting time we both have to our jobs. I plan to go back once he's in first grade, if not sooner. I'll just look for something closer to home. Right now, I'm committed to staying home for the first year and then we'll reevaluate. I love being home with him, but I also miss working. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066872 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 09:50:46 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 1066872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBehr: I've always felt like there should be a support group for those of us who didn't particularly want to be SAHMs ... it's a different experience and tough to talk about with the ladies who wanted it/chose it/relish it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066867 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 09:48:18 +0000 sandy 1066867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I chose to be a SAHM and my husband supported that decision...we decided this before trying to get pregnant. I absolutely love being a SAHM at the moment but am open to going back to work someday...not sure when but I'm keeping my law license active in case I do make that decision </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066626 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 08:05:24 +0000 hilsy85 1066626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never imagined I would be a SAHM.. but DH really wanted me to, and I was laid off while i was pregnant...I'm now considering whether I want to look for part time work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066623 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 08:04:05 +0000 MamaBehr 1066623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>no. I am in the same boat as @Mrs.YoYo and @winniebee. We moved across the country for DH's job. Though I did have a job when we first moved down here I had DS (our second LO) with less than a year at my new school and I didn't qualify for FMLA. I quit that job, because it was over an hour commute and not ideal, but immediately jumped into the job search. I didn't get any jobs right after DS was born, and I have made the most of it. Now that I have other SAHM friends it is much easier, but the beginning sucked and I didn't like it. Of course, with LO#3 on the way, there is NO way that I can go back to work (I even had an adjunct position at a local community college lined up for this fall....) until the oldest is in school, if not the second gets to school. </p> <p>I don't know any other SAHMs in real life who didn't choose to be SAHMs. All the ones I know had planned to stay at home once they became pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066593 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 07:43:03 +0000 GrapeCrush 1066593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes...and no? I WANTed to be a SAHM after DS was born, but it just made sense for me to go back to work. At 6 months pp we found out I was pregnant with DD. After considering all of our options, we felt that SAH after she was born was the best option. I absolutely wanted to SAH, but money/daycare definitely played in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066532 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 07:02:12 +0000 Koolbreeze 1066532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. I've always wanted to be a SAHM. I grew up with one and felt so strongly about doing the same. I may work when my babies are all in school though, we'll have to see. Not to mention daycare for 2 is insanely expensive and we could not afford it even if we wanted to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066514 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 06:53:42 +0000 Foodnerd81 1066514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. We planned on it before we even got married. I always knew I wanted to stay home, and while I liked my job fine, I didn't feel passionate about it at all. Daycare is so expensive that it made the decision even easier but even if we had a good affordable day care I'd still want to be home. </p> <p>That said, days like yesterday when she's just cranky all day and won't nap, I was thinking how work would be easier! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066513 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 06:48:40 +0000 Dandelion 1066513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really...Last summer (2012) I had a temporary job in a mailroom at a non-profit. During that summer I fell pregnant with S, so I felt that getting a job until March (we decided I would SAH with her) would be difficult, so I decided to stay home. Then I lost S and started looking for a job again, but then decided to go back to school this semester. And, now I'm pregnant again, and when I have this kid, yes, it'll be by choice. before it was just because I couldn't find a job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066487 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 06:24:33 +0000 JerricaBenton 1066487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I've always known that I wanted to stay home. I grew up with a SAHM and I want to give that to my children. My husband's schedule is varied so it was important to us that I'm able to be with him when he's home and he gets more time with LO that way too. I was never really fulfilled working outside the home so I don't really see myself going back to work barring any unforseen circumstances. We own a business so as kids get older I see myself helping out more and volunteering. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066464 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 05:53:18 +0000 illumina 1066464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've always imagined I would SAH, like my Mum did with us until my younger Sister started school. Dh and I talked about this really early on in our relationship and he encouraged me to do so when the time came. LO is due to arrive any time now, so we'll see how it goes. I imagine I'll take around 7-8years off, until our youngest LO is in full time education. I'd like to be back at work by 40 at the latest, which still gives me another 20yrs to work if I want! If I don't like being a SAH, we're fortunate in that we can probably work around Dh's hours so I could go back part-time much earlier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066458 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 05:48:38 +0000 looch 1066458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Kind of? I had planned to go back to work after maternity leave, but we had issues finding child care close to our home. We discussed all kinds of options, including both of us dropping down to part time. We ultimately decided that was too risky so I quit.</p> <p>I am back at work now and my retired parents help us a lot. My son is in daycare, but they do drop off, pick up and keep him until we get home. I couldn't work the hours I do without them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066413 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 01:18:36 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1066413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! I love it. My dream was always to raise children and be a home maker. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066391 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 00:39:31 +0000 pinkcupcake 1066391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup! I quit my job to stay home w/ her. Best decision I ever made :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066337 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 22:59:27 +0000 travelgirl1 1066337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Kind of. I was freelancing when preg, then temping to qualify for mat pay so I don't have a job to go back to, plus daycare is crazy expensive here and we don't have any family here to help. That said, I am so blessed to be able to stay home with LO and couldn't imagine putting her in daycare. I'd like to be a SAHM till she's in school then retrain as a teacher. If I still lived in the UK and still had a job I loved on a newspaper, I imagine I would have tried to work there part time. So yes and no </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066308 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 22:38:16 +0000 Penny Lane 1066308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yup! it's what DH and I planned for from the start. I'll likely go back to work part time when all the kids are in school </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066302 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 22:28:33 +0000 sarac 1066302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, this has always been our plan. We built our lives around relying just on his income. The plan is for me to be at home or just working part time pretty much forever, or until I *really* want to work full time. I enjoy being at home, so I could see being part time forever, or until my daughter is out of the house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066243 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 21:38:51 +0000 Mrs squirreld 1066243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprk: ditto. Always been what my husband and I have wanted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066237 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 21:35:33 +0000 littlecasita1122 1066237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I quit my job two weeks before my due date knowing I would SAH. We could afford it and it was always what I wanted to do, as that's how both of us were raised. I went back to work part-time WAH when my LO was 4-10 months but then quit again. I enjoy being a SAHM much much much more. Probably had something to do with how I wasn't happy with my job or company to begin with, but being a SAHM fulfills me a lot more and just makes me happier overall. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066232 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 21:30:13 +0000 winniebee 1066232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Yoyo: oh girl you will i'm sure! We mostly did it because T was used to daycare and I don't know anyone here and it can be isolating so getting out and doing non-kid stuff is helpful. Or just having a break to pay bills and do errands in peace : ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066222 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 21:25:53 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 1066222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: I think we'll find a PT program for LO at some point next year. I will really need the break with two kids ...</p> <p>@HLK208: So jealous of the people with retired parents who live nearby and can help. SO jealous! Mine are far away and nowhere near retired. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066221 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 21:25:53 +0000 heffalump 1066221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I've always wanted to SAH, so glad I get to do it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066214 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 21:22:21 +0000 HLK208 1066214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I need to be a SAHM until both kids are in elementary school and then I can go back to work. Daycare is too expensive with 2 kids and my parents aren't retired so they can't help with child care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066206 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 21:19:25 +0000 winniebee 1066206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: Part of me can't imagine working with my husband's schedule....</p> <p>@Mrs. Yoyo: I do sort of miss the schedule and routine of working. I have put T in a part time program a few days a week for a break and it seems to be good for both of us. I can't believe I'm that mom, but I am! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066192 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 21:15:13 +0000 tequiero21 1066192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, we knew I'd stay until at least the kids go to school. Afterwards, it's up to me what I want to do. Will prolly at least go back part time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066185 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 21:13:24 +0000 aprk 1066185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep! My husband and I talked about it and planned for it even before we were married. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066184 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 21:13:09 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 1066184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. Very similar situation. Worked until DS was about a year, at which point we moved to a new city. Job leads didn't pan out, so I started freelancing. That's what I'm still doing. Now that No. 2 will be here soon it seems very unlikely that I'll be able to find anything that pays enough to justify paying for childcare for two.</p> <p>I wouldn't say I *love* staying at home, but I've mostly made my peace with it at this point. And the longer I do it, the harder it is to imagine LO in daycare or the like. On the other hand, a big part of me will always miss working outside the home. Hope to be able to do it again, even if it's not for a few more years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-a-sahm-by-choice#post-1066174 Wed, 04 Sep 2013 21:07:07 +0000 winniebee 1066174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Why are you a SAHM? </p> <p>I'm a SAHM because we moved cross-country for my husbands one year fellowship....and it would have been difficult for me to find a temporary job as an attorney here. Plus I was ready for a change of pace. I'm not sure what will happen when the fellowship is up, but so far I'm digging SAH.</p> <p>ETA: I returned to work after maternity leave and worked from when LO was 5-13 months. </p>