https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Jul 2026 22:13:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-615534 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 18:31:47 +0000 Dandelion 615534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sure, why not? We don't have a lot of family and friends around here, but with who we do have around here, we'll throw dd a first birthday party next year. I don't judge others for having them, cause I actually like going to them. My bff had one for her son that was huge for his first birthday, and me and my son had a great time there. </p> <p>Also, even if your kid doesn't really remember it, your LO will love looking at pictures of it when they're older. It's the same reason we opted to get a dvd of our ultrasound...not that we're gonna watch it over and over, but we think she'll really like to see that video of herself when she's older. Kids are vain, they like to see themselves. DS loves to look at pictures of himself in the NICU. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-615522 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 18:26:24 +0000 autumnlove 615522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@prettylizy: Gonna email you pics from my friend's party! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-615488 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 18:17:04 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 615488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have what you would like that you can afford! We won't have a bday bash because all of our close friends and family live far away. I will try to make the party as special as I possibly can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-615421 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 17:54:10 +0000 prettylizy 615421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Booooo your friends! lol!!</p> <p>I think do what works for you. All of my 'decorations' have been made by me or are from the dollar store and nothing is fancy, but I think it will be more than most people around here do. I just want to have fun, snap a few good pics, and let her taste sugar for the first time! lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-615359 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 17:38:26 +0000 tysonja 615359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i love parties! that being said, we'll probably just have a small home party with family for LO's first birthday this year :). and we'll have a tiny smash slice... instead of a whole cake :) </p> <p>we just don't have the resources for a big party right now, but i LOVE attending them when invited! :) perhaps another year! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-615343 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 17:35:28 +0000 wheres_c 615343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pro party! I'm sure I'll be considered "high maintenance" but I dont give a hoot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-615278 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 17:22:48 +0000 Pink Champagne 615278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pro party!!<br /> My husbands family is big on doing large first birthday parties though, so it's expected that we will do one too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-615272 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 17:21:26 +0000 Mrs. Train 615272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am pro party. I know my kids don't remember the actual party but one of my kids favorite things to do is to sit with me and look at their baby books. They love their big day pictures. They point at the cake pictures and just laugh. Totally worth it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-615253 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 17:16:37 +0000 Mrs. Pen 615253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I struggled with this because regionally it's not done here. I remember when I lived in NY I went to crazy extravagant showers (like renting out an entire cafe for the event and lasting 4-6 hours). I was stunned!<br /> But here, parties are always held at someone's home, and generally just family or just the little friends. </p> <p>But DH was in support of me and we decided we wanted Cobi to have a really special celebration!! I'm so glad we did. It was so fun and I still kept it budget friendly even though we rented a venue and hired a photographer.</p> <p>I asked my dad (who is so anti party because he thinks saving money is always the better option- he's the dad who told me he'd pay me to elope to save money on my wedding!) if he thought it was over the top and amazingly he said, "well this is what you wanted, right?" Yup I did and he said that's what matters. Maybe he's coming around ;)</p> <p>Maybe I'll be a trendsetter ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-615141 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 16:39:38 +0000 MrsRcCar 615141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am probably not throwing him a huge bash. That being said we will have a small party at home. We don't have a lot of family and friends that live around us. I would love to take him to Disney for his birthday (yes I am aware of how crazy that sounds) but that is a far dream right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-615129 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 16:33:35 +0000 Mrsjets 615129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're having a party with only our families (42 ppl!) - its going to be a casual brunch at our house but I'm also worried about the gift situation. I had a huge shower so I'm worried people will think it's about gifts when really I would love to put 'no gifts' on the invitations... but mom says its rude. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614919 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 15:51:37 +0000 littlek 614919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pro first birthday party. Personally, I don't really care if people think it's over the top, they don't have to come if they don't want to and we are clearly saying "no gifts" on the invitations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614911 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 15:49:56 +0000 googly-eyes 614911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's common in my circle and I actually think I might be judged for choosing to wait til 2nd or 3rd or even 5th for a big party. Like people will think I missed my chance and decided I want attn or something. But I think I'm going to end up with 2 LOs and do the same for each, if we can pull it off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614791 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 15:21:55 +0000 pinkcupcake 614791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We threw LO a huge first birthday but it's custom in our culture (Korean) to do so. I kept costs down by DIY-ing a lot of the decorations, asking friends for help (EX: I have a friend who's an awesome photographer so I asked her to take the pics), and shopping around for the best prices. Some people may have thought I went a bit overboard, but eh - to each their own. I definitely won't be throwing another birthday bash like that until she's old enough to remember it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614671 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:56:27 +0000 Boheme 614671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am pro-party. I think 1st birthday parties are so sweet! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614666 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:55:08 +0000 mrs. wagon 614666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In our culture the first birthday party is a HUGE deal. I've heard of people spending as much as they do on weddings... tens of thousands of dollars and they rent ballrooms, hire florists and balloon decorators, a DJ, an MC, etc... </p> <p>So obviously we are pro-big-party but not to that extent!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614665 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:54:51 +0000 banana 614665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I"m totally pro party too! I think it's great to throw a fun birthday bash (doesn't have to be expensive) where friends and family members can come and celebrate the 1st year of your LO's life. I threw a huge bash for my son and I don't regret it at all. We had some wonderful photos taken with family/friends and I wouldn't change anything about the event. Even if your LO doesn't remember the party, she'll look at pictures when she's older and see how much love was surrounding her on her 1st birthday. My mom showed me pictures of my 1st birthday party and I loved seeing all that love! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614648 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:50:51 +0000 winniebee 614648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are pro-party, but pro-not doing a big thing of it. For us, it's not appropriate right now to spend a lot of money on the party (since $$ is tight) and for us, it's just not commonly done. We'll have a small party with family and close friends (probably a BBQ) with some minimal decorations, beverages (adult and kiddies!) and cake (and probably a smash cake). No paper invitations, no favors, no photographer. I wouldn't be worried about judginess though. But I also don't think that because we aren't doing a big thing means we care about his birthday any less. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614607 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:43:05 +0000 Bookish 614607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pretty certain we will be having a moderate 1st bday. We have family in town and within a few hours, and I'm pretty sure they will all want to be a part of it. That being said, I know money will be tight so it will be a bare-bones affair!<br /> *edit because I forgot to answer the question* </p> <p>I'm worried about some judginess from my SIL, but that's because she's a cake baker/DIY extraordinaire! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614601 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:41:36 +0000 loveisstrange 614601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>C is having 2 big parties, so... meh. Do what you guys feel is right. I think the 1st birthday is a big milestone and should be celebrated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614587 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:38:42 +0000 Honeybee 614587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't have a party for DD and won't for DS either. DH and I have decided that we want to hold out for parties until our kids are active participants in the planning, telling us what they want, etc... (Which happens to be this year for DD. She has been excited for her third birthday for months and she very specifically told us she wants lots of balloons and a trip to Chuck E. Cheese for her birthday! :)</p> <p>However, my sister has always done huge, expensive parties for my nephew, and I think my family is kinda judgey about that. They act like not having a first birthday party is depriving the kids, and my mom keeps trying to plan things behind my back for DS. Sigh. What are you gonna do? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614584 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:38:01 +0000 MsLipGloss 614584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pro party!</p> <p>This is such a damned if you do damned if you don't situation. No Party, Party too Big, Party too Small . . . *augh*! At this point, we have been judged for every parenting decision we have made, so I am really in the *whatevs* camp. People are going to talk and judge regardless, so I'm gonna do what I want to do, and if they don't like it, or want to judge me for it, whatevs . . . they can just suck it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614573 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:36:12 +0000 cascademom 614573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've seen a lot of different first birthday parties: some big, some small. My personal philosophy is for the first birthday party is to keep it small. I plan on having close family and friends. The emphasis will be baby, family, friends, and food. So, there will be alcohol for the adults, more like our dinner parties pre baby, just with some baby activities going on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614554 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:33:45 +0000 GrapeCrush 614554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are pro party :) we are torn on the extent though. My brother goes a little overboard(1st birthday party at an arcade for my nephew...not necessary) and people talk. But I want to have a nice at home party. But we are torn as to who to invite. DH says immediate family only. My feeling is, what's the point of me wanting to have decorations and nice stuff if its just immediate family. But then he said minimal (our) friends, but none of them have kids so I feel what's the point of inviting them. But then we don't want to just invite people just to invite them and have it get out of hand....ugh </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614549 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:33:15 +0000 autumnlove 614549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I threw LO a low key party and my friends were not pleased...they told me I was lazy and I denied her of a rite of passage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614545 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:32:31 +0000 mediagirl 614545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm afraid people will think we're inviting them to our lo's birthday party just so we'll get presents even if we write "no gifts" on the invite... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614539 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:31:01 +0000 heffalump 614539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think people expected me to have the kind of party that I had. Close family and friends, with a lot of DIY touches. </p> <p>What I wasn't expecting was being judged for not making the cake! I DIYed all the decorations and made a nice brunch for 25 people. At the last minute DH decided that LO needed her own smash cake. I was going to make cupcakes but he wanted her to have a cake. So I said screw it, I don't have time for all of this, we're buying the cake, at our bakery if you buy a first birthday cake it comes with a free smash cake. And multiple people said to me, "I can't believe you didn't make the cake!" Yes but I made everything else. While being a SAHM to a one year old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614529 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:28:47 +0000 LuLu Mom 614529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I plan on having a birthday party for all of her birthday's, 1st included. It will be larger than my sister's did for their kids, but we have more friends who have similar aged children who we want to include. I'm thinking we will do donations to a charity instead of gifts (possibly Make a Wish) since we won't need a bunch of toys! More of a chance to get everyone together and have fun.</p> <p> It won't be anything extravagant, I will do the food and decorations, but it wil be a nice "home" style party! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614522 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:27:28 +0000 Mrs Hedgehog 614522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO isn't here yet but we definitely plan on having one! With family, presents, food, cake and a smash cake for the baby! I wouldn't think of NOT celebrating. Who cares if they don't remember this one. Do you remember every single birthday party you had as a kid? I still feel like they deserve celebrating their life. Even after just 1 year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-afraid-of-judgement-from-friendsfamily-re-a-1st-bday-bash#post-614507 Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:24:00 +0000 regberadaisy 614507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>On the one hand I think eh. who cares what they think?</p> <p>But on the other hand I don't want people thinking I'm high maintenance/crazy/why the heck since she won't remember any way.</p> <p>For my husband and I we both agree that we should celebrate her birthday, it's a celebration of her life thus, a celebration of us as a family. To celebrate with family and good friends!</p> <p>It's common on my side of the family. But on his, not so much probably because there hasn't been that many kids lately. The only other cousin to recently have kids opted not to have a 1st birthday party.</p> <p>And then I know for some parents they just couldn't bother to put that much effort into a birthday "they will never remember". Which is fine too but growing up my parents never had the time or money to throw me parties. So I 'd always vowed my kids will always have parties.</p> <p>What's your stance on first birthday bashes? Are you afraid of being judged for having or not having a bash? </p>