https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 10 Jun 2026 08:30:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-162854 Fri, 18 May 2012 11:20:45 +0000 BSB 162854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm catholic and DH is lutheran. He wants our kids to be raised lutheran. I'm okay with that as long as he starts practicing it when we have a LO. He currently does not and hasn't in a long time. He told me he would once I get pregnant. He also knows that if he doesn't go, than I'll take the LO to my catholic church. So if he wants our kids raised Lutheran, he will have to do the work. </p> <p>I would prefer that my children be catholic but Lutheran is fine, too. We both want a christian background for our children. I just want my DH to practice his religion because I don't want to answer question from my children asking why daddy doesn't have to go. </p> <p>I'm, also, fine with raising our kids with both religions. I know there are differences and I would hope we would explain those differences to our LO. When our kids get older, I'm fine with them making their own decision on which religion they will follow. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-162827 Fri, 18 May 2012 11:01:38 +0000 sulli301 162827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH &amp; I are both Catholic. His father was raised Catholic but DH never went to church as a child. We started going together &amp; April 2011 he was confirmed into the church. He know participates heavily, is a lector &amp; usher, &amp; we enjoy going together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-162758 Fri, 18 May 2012 10:15:52 +0000 hilsy85 162758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh and I are both Jewish, but much more culturally so than religiously. We've never been bar/bat mitzvah'd and neither of us has ever attended temple with family. He's much more anti-religion than I am though. He is pretty against becoming involved with a synagogue/temple or making religion a part of our lives, whereas I'm kind of indifferent to it. If our kids showed an interest, I would try to find a temple that I could take them to. We're going to raise our kids as knowing they are Jewish, and celebrating Jewish holidays in a more secular way (as DH and I did growing up--so no temple on high holidays, but family dinners/gatherings, maybe lighting a menorah, etc). I'm sure this will become an issue with our families, mainly my dad. I'm NOT looking forward to that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-162658 Fri, 18 May 2012 09:13:43 +0000 Nskillet 162658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are non-religious. We were married by a JP and have no intentions of raising our kids with religion. However, will be glad to take them to any service they are curious about.</p> <p>I was raised catholic and due to my parents being divorced had horrible horrible experiences with the catholic church. I am not comfortable raising my children to judge/treat others differently. DHs family is episcopalian and he even has a priest for an Aunt and several very religious family members. So far It has been harder on my very catholic family (even though they barely practice the religion themselves). That we will not christen DD or any future children. Ive gotten lectures and judgement from my family which again just proves to me how judgemental/unfair the religion is to begin with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-162479 Fri, 18 May 2012 01:40:27 +0000 Boogs 162479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are thankfully the same religion. As it is we disagree on how often to attend church, so I wouldn't want to know what it would be like of we were talking about different religions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-162446 Thu, 17 May 2012 22:38:22 +0000 Grace 162446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had always had the idea that if my future husband was of a different faith, it would be fine so long as I could raise out children as Catholics. As it turns out, hubs is Catholic too. I think it's nice that this is one potiental conflict that we don't have to worry about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161547 Thu, 17 May 2012 13:36:19 +0000 littlebug 161547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hubs was raised Catholic (an alter boy, went to CCD, etc). I was raised attending a Lutheran church whenever we felt like it (usually just Christmas and Easter). Hubs stopped going to church the second he left home and was no longer "forced" by his parents. He is very disenfranchised with the Catholic Church. We would like to find a church to get involved with and raise our children as members of a congregation. I am willing to consider and explore any denomination or faith to find one that works for us, with a few exceptions. It's something we've talked about off and on for years, and now that I'm actually pregnant, I think we'll get a bit more serious about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161519 Thu, 17 May 2012 13:25:31 +0000 joyjoy 161519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are the same religion and attend the same church. It was important to both of us that our spouse share our faith. It really is the foundation of our relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161487 Thu, 17 May 2012 13:05:49 +0000 Witz 161487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is Jewish, but stopped going to temple after his bar mitzvah. I was raised Catholic, but it didn't really run that deep in my family, and I only really went through the motions of first communion, confirmation, etc. because I didn't feel like taking a stand against it and causing a big thing. But as far back as I can remember, I have always known I didn't believe in or identify with Catholocism, and as soon as I was on my own, I stopped going. And I stopped taking communion when I would go to church with my family during school breaks.</p> <p>When DH and I first started dating, we were similarly not religious. But as we got more serious and started talking about having children, he said he wanted to raise his kids as Jews. I was open to learning about it, so we took a class on Judaism together. It was a good refresher for him and helped him to get a better understanding of Jewish traditions that he was maybe too young to appreciate when he was younger. It has been really interesting and thought provoking for me and helped me to realize that there is a religion out there that resonates with me. Up to this point, I felt like religion wasn't for me. I haven't officially converted yet, but I plan to. </p> <p>Luckily, at each phase of our relationship, my husband and I have been on the same page about our core beliefs and the significance we want religion to play in our lives (or not). For me, that's the most important thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161486 Thu, 17 May 2012 13:05:37 +0000 Mrs.Someone 161486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm Jewish, and DH was the first Jew I dated. It was only mildly important for me to marry someone Jewish. Even though we don't go to synagogue that often, our religion and culture are so intertwined that it just feels right being with someone who had such a similar upbringing as me. Even though he grew up in a very different country! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161454 Thu, 17 May 2012 12:47:11 +0000 mrs. wagon 161454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've got to say, both this and the gay marriage thread have been so cool to follow! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161451 Thu, 17 May 2012 12:45:21 +0000 daniellemybelle 161451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH &amp; I see pretty much eye to eye on religion now, but we had very different upbringings. </p> <p>I grew up Church of Christ, which is even stricter than Southern Baptist but similar. Christianity is very central to my entire family and they can be very judgmental even though they mean well.</p> <p>DH grew up totally non-religious on the other hand. His family is African-American and decades ago, before he was born, his parents joined the Nation of Islam. They have a Muslim last name now for that reason. However, by the time DH came along, they had left that religion. They celebrate Christmas and Easter but aren't really religious at all. Some of his extended family do still practice Islam though.</p> <p>As you can imagine, there were definitely some raised eyebrows when we got married, and I'm sure some interesting conversations behind our backs! I, for one, love our unconventional marriage and I think it represents who we are perfectly. I am very grateful that we are able to talk openly about matters of faith now and that we share the same feelings. We are both agnostic with a lot of interest in the Christian faith, and would like to explore a more liberal denomination of Christianity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161447 Thu, 17 May 2012 12:39:29 +0000 Jumpingjacks 161447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm with those in the no religion camp. I intentionally did not date men who were religious because I think religion and non-religion are fundamental to people's core values and I want to share/have in common, those core values with my mate. There is someone in my life who is also not religious and who married someone who is religious. He has made a lot of compromises, with concern to their wedding and kids, which I would not be willing to make. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161409 Thu, 17 May 2012 12:12:45 +0000 chopsuey 161409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't have been able to marry someone of a different faith. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161401 Thu, 17 May 2012 12:07:52 +0000 Honeybee 161401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have been fine with marrying someone of another religion, so long as they also respected my beliefs. As it is, I ended up converting to Catholicism in college (DH is also Catholic) after coming from a background of nondenominational/evangelical Christianity. I think, I also would have been ok with converting to Judaism, if I had ended up with a Jewish guy. If my husband practiced any other religion/spirtuality/philosophy besides Catholicism or Judaism, though, I probably wouldn't have converted, just expected that we would each be respectful and supportive of each other's individual beliefs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161380 Thu, 17 May 2012 11:45:21 +0000 lilteacherbee 161380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: ditto about the Southern Baptist churches. DH and I are both Christian and we both grew up in Southern Baptist Churches. Now that we are older, we don't agree with some of their ideals, so we're currently looking for something different. We've considered Presbyterian. I'm glad you like it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161345 Thu, 17 May 2012 11:19:10 +0000 mrs. wagon 161345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: that's so funny! considering we drink beer and play poker with our head pastor, I love that :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161324 Thu, 17 May 2012 11:09:39 +0000 cyndistar3 161324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh and I are both non-denominational christians. Things wouldn't work out for us at all if we didn't have the same beliefs because we both feel very strongly about them and we are both very involved in the church. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161311 Thu, 17 May 2012 11:01:49 +0000 HLK208 161311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm catholic and DH isn't really religious but it works for us because he supports me in my faith. He attends mass every Sunday, says prayers with LO and even goes up to communion to get a blessing since he can't receive the Eucharist. </p> <p>I'm not sure if DH will ever be catholic but I don't think our children will have many questions that won't be answered since he participates and is active at my church. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161308 Thu, 17 May 2012 10:58:56 +0000 LuLu Mom 161308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My Dh is Catholic and I am not, however we discussed this before getting married, and we deicded we would raise our children Methodist (which is what I am.) We have neglected church since getting married, so our goal is to find one we both agree on (he likes traditional I like more modern) and have a church our entire family can enjoy together. He hasn't officially given up his Catholic religion though, I don't know if he wants too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161304 Thu, 17 May 2012 10:56:51 +0000 MamaMoose 161304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coco Bee: Yeah you're also not allowed to drink or dance... so they probably wouldn't like me too much! When we went to a new member event for our church I was informed "You're not a real Presbyterian until we get a glass of wine in your hand". I decided joining our church was going to work out juuuust fine : ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161293 Thu, 17 May 2012 10:51:38 +0000 autumnlove 161293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: we are the same way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161290 Thu, 17 May 2012 10:51:05 +0000 Mrs. Pen 161290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: lol I agree! I have a friend who was a southern Baptist and their family was... wow... out there in terms of belief. For example: When I was 19 I moved out of my parents house, halfway around the country to live in NY by myself and work as a nanny. This friend then said I was living a life of sin and mediocrity because I moved out of my parents house before getting married. Her baptist background made her believe that a woman should never leave their fathers house until she's getting married. I was stunned and shocked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161281 Thu, 17 May 2012 10:42:35 +0000 MamaMoose 161281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup we're both Christian. I was raised Congregationalist and hubs was raised Baptist. I couldn't get on board with going to a Baptist church especially now that we live in the South and Southern Baptist churches are just a whole different animal, even from the church he grew up. We have joined a Presbyterian church (which is really similar to the Congregationalist church) and we both love it! We aren't super super religious people but it is still an important part of our lives and we wanted to really become a part of a congregation and be comfortable there before babies came along. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161274 Thu, 17 May 2012 10:36:23 +0000 mrs. bird 161274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH &amp; i were not raised in the same faith. his was raised a strict catholic &amp; i was raised without a religion (but celebrated christian holidays- christmas &amp; easter, in a secular fashion).</p> <p>now, i'm an atheist &amp; he is a unitarian universalist (his minister married us with a spiritual yet 'godless' ceremony). our current faiths don't clash, so i don't see it being an issue for us. we've talked about him bringing our LOs, when we have them, to church with him sometimes (he goes about 3 out of 4 sundays). that doesn't bother me because his faith doesn't teach about one belief that everyone is expected to subscribe to- just about respecting everyone's beliefs &amp; being a conscious, respectful, positive member of the world.</p> <p>his family has more of an issue with our lack of catholicism. his mom felt we needed to have our wedding blessed by a priest for it to be official- this didn't happen. when we have a LO, they expect us to have a christening, which we talked about before we were married (soooo important to be on the same page!), and i'm open to having a naming ceremony held in his church so his family has that symbolic occasion to welcome baby in a church, but neither of us believe in original sin and will not agree to raise our children catholic- so a christening isn't possible.</p> <p>i think some religions would make it more difficult to raise children in an interfaith home, for us it's more of a tension with extended family. i would not have been comfortable having children with someone who wasn't comfortable with my beliefs or would be interested in teaching our children that there was only one correct way to view faith. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161259 Thu, 17 May 2012 10:28:56 +0000 loveisstrange 161259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ditto Mr. Bee here too. Neither of us are religious but DH was raised Catholic (hardcore Italian Catholic family) and I was raised with freedom of religion and dabbled in several, including Christianity and Wicca.</p> <p>We agree on the big things like not baptizing our kids and allowing them to explore religion how they see fit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161246 Thu, 17 May 2012 10:15:31 +0000 mrs. wagon 161246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wagon Sr. and I are both Christians and it's the center of our marriage. We're not super crazy evangelical about it or anything, but our faith is a top priority in our lives and we both knew that we'd need that in a spouse in order to be able to connect 100% and live our lives together. I kind of tried pursuing a relationship with a guy who wasn't religious during college, and even though I expressed my concerns with him and he was actually open to attending church with me and exploring the faith, I just couldn't pursue it. For me, it's important for my partner to be stronger in his faith and the spiritual leader of our family. I know it's not that way for all Christians but it's just my personal preference. The fact that we share the same faith and stand on the same belief system makes our lives that much more united, and it makes it that easy to raise our children in the Christian faith. Whether or not they choose to commit to our faith is totally up to them, however. It's just our job to create the family foundation for them in their childhood, and when they're of age, they can explore their faith life on their own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161240 Thu, 17 May 2012 10:07:54 +0000 mrsjazz 161240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ditto to what MrBee said. My husband and I are not religious, though he was raised Pentecostal and I was first a Jehovah's witness and then Baptist. I knew I wanted to marry and have children with someone who is non-religious because I thought it would be too difficult to raise children when there is a partner of faith and one who is not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161216 Thu, 17 May 2012 09:53:54 +0000 Mrs. Pen 161216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it definitely depends on your religion. Some religions might be harder to intermarry than others.</p> <p>My first year of college, I dated a Muslim, and I'm a Christian. lol it didn't work out. He was a super nice guy and I REALLY liked him, but I knew I was just kidding myself. My parents didn't know I was dating him and I knew they would have flipped if they'd known. </p> <p>I was really intentional about marrying a Christian too. My faith is the most important thing in my life, and I of course wanted to raise my kid(s) in that too, I need someone who's on board. In most cases that I've seen, when a Christian marries someone of another or no faith, it hardly ever works out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-and-dh-the-same-religion-if-not-does-it-make-raising-your-with-religion-lo-difficult#post-161207 Thu, 17 May 2012 09:49:31 +0000 DillonLion 161207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here's the thing, marrying a Jewish guy, doesn't guarantee that he's going to want to be involved at the temple. My parents were both Jewish, and my dad never wanted to attend services, and did so extremely rarely. So, even if you do wind up marrying someone of the same religion, there still might be discontent because one might want to be more observant/present in religious activities than the other. </p> <p>On that note, I did not marry someone who was Jewish. However, he is very supportive, attends temple with me occasionally, and is okay with exposing our children to the traditions of the Jewish faith. Additionally, I am not opposed to attending church with our family, and supporting my husband if he wants to expose our children to the religious traditions of his family. That seems fair to me. </p> <p>Personally, my children have my blood in them, and are therefore Jewish, no matter what. They have a home among the Jewish people, and a safe place to worship and live in Israel. If they grow up and elect to identify with another set of religious dogma, that is totally their decision. I just hope they find somewhere that they feel connected to a people hood and a higher power, whatever that may be.</p> <p>ETA: There's also a lot of successful interfaith marriages in my family, so it was also easy for my family to get on board with our marriage. Often times, a family is heartbroken when something like this happens, and I'm glad we didn't struggle with that. </p>