https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 21 Aug 2026 03:47:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318376 Mon, 01 Oct 2012 02:17:59 +0000 Honeybee 318376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think so. I think my parents are good at "sucking it up" and I learned early on not to complain. I actually think I've become whinier the more comfortable my life has become, though. It's sething I'm working on, to toughen back up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318365 Mon, 01 Oct 2012 01:06:47 +0000 SugarplumsMom 318365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I'm pretty good at it! But my MIL has single-handedly undone it all! I'm learning that enduring difficult times with dignity translates to being weak here in Sweden. It seems that if you don't say anything, it's assumed it's not bothering you. What really frustrates me is if you don't speak all that you know, it's assumed you're an idiot! Soooooooooo opposite of Asian culture when you sound like an idiot if say too much.</p> <p>It's really baffling because Swedes define stoicism! But only when things are upbeat and happy and usually only the men. It's hard to get them to react in general! The women seem to be able to say whatever they want and no one even reacts to her "bad days". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318339 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 23:51:44 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 318339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: Agreed.<br /> It's an Arab thing too....like patience is the ultimate virtue and so is accepting your fate and being grateful...or being "bigger person" . I am better at it than most...I wonder how I'll be in labor though? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318297 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 23:00:54 +0000 SweetMamaM 318297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm definitely better at chamuh at work than I am at other times, but I think I tend to lean towards it naturally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318182 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:56:54 +0000 pinkcupcake 318182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, it's definitely something I need to work on. I'm pretty impatient and my mom's always telling me I need to chamah... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318113 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:32:56 +0000 Freckles 318113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting! Gaman actually means "hold still" in Korean so i guess that's not too far off from the Japanese word? But Chamuh is probably closer.</p> <p>I'm better able to chamuh at work...not so much when it comes to household issues. I think that's why i married the husband -- he is better able to suck it up and just go with it. I'm getting better at it though, so i guess he's rubbing off on me. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318105 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:30:11 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 318105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes definitely. I don't think I'd be surviving without it...or maybe DH would just be hearing an earful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318096 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:27:58 +0000 anonysquire 318096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: Sign me up!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318079 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:23:01 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 318079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>More and more ... I've definitely had to channel some gaman when it comes to my ILs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318073 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:19:58 +0000 travelgirl1 318073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: Ha ha! Then you would make a good Brit : ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318067 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:18:40 +0000 anonysquire 318067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: My lip often gets caught on my teeth. A combination of dry teeth and awkward lip. I think I am good at having a literal stiff lip. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318054 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:15:36 +0000 mrs. wagon 318054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I definitely think that's a huge factor. But personality could have a factor in it as well... Wagon Sr. is good at cham-uh-ing and his parents weren't too fanatical about it. He's just a patient and easygoing person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318045 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:12:14 +0000 mrbee 318045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: I think it's the sort of concept that has to be drilled into you by your parents!</p> <p>@hilsy85: Yah I personally don't see it as bottling your feelings (although there are those who do)... I see it more in the vein of the Jackie Robinson example. Taking the moral high ground and trying to use patience and dignity to make it through a difficult experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318039 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:09:08 +0000 travelgirl1 318039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We Brits have the concept of keeping a "stiff upper lip", which I think is similar but not as ingrained. I wish I was better at sucking it up, I really do, but I don't like the feeling of being wronged. That said, some of the things I've dealt with lately, I have definitely just sucked up. This is something I hope to become a lot better at when my little girl is born. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318038 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:09:03 +0000 mrsjyw 318038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: my mom is the best at cham-uhing, but dad is the worst! i think i landed right in the middle.. but more like my mom as i get older! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318014 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:04:44 +0000 hilsy85 318014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I'm pretty good at at...but it's interesting that when I read the descriptions, I think of it more as "bottling your feelings", which I definitely do, and which I think has a more negative connotation (as in, it's not something that's healthy to do). Shows how difference cultures can have different takes on the same thing :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318013 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:04:25 +0000 mrs. wagon 318013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: hmm. I don't think so. Well, maybe? I'd have to think of specific examples. My older brother is definitely not though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-318005 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:02:42 +0000 T-Mom 318005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes in Chinese the concept is stoicism, long-suffering and "eating it ." it's something that most Chinese women see their mothers doing and hence do as well. It's something I'm proud of as a mother and wife and at the same time resentful of, because sometimes you just get tired of eating it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-317999 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:01:44 +0000 mrbee 317999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: Are your parents good at cham-uh? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-317992 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:00:50 +0000 mrs. wagon 317992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not good at cham-uh-ing at all!! There are a few things for which being patient comes naturally to me, like tedious crafts or tasks and some things with my kids, but in general I am not a patient or disciplined person. :T </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-317970 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 20:55:57 +0000 LAGS 317970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and no. I really try not to sweat the small stuff... but obviously can't brush everything off. Emotional issues are my weakness. That said, when it comes to work, finances etc. I do a pretty good job of sucking it up. It is what it is!</p> <p>I think one reason there isn't much of a culture of gaman here is because few see any importance in the concept of personal accountability (I guess maybe they're one in the same). It seems for many here there's always something or someone else to blame for someone's lot in life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-317956 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 20:50:55 +0000 CATWOMAN 317956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not at all. Something I am working on... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-317946 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 20:47:50 +0000 anonysquire 317946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think so. I haven't been through anything difficult but my parents always say I am their happiest, most content child. I have depression, anxiety and am bi-polar. But still everytime I am with my family I never let it bug me, or if I have a moment I excuse myself and deal with it alone. My siblings don't have mental issues but they are for sure more moody and sensitive than me. </p> <p>I think I have always been a person who keeps it inside and doesn't let things get in the way of my life. I can be so sick and hurting inside and ready to just cry hysterically and thinking dark thoughts, but you would never know :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-317944 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 20:47:44 +0000 Rubies 317944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was good at sucking it up until I became a mother. Since LO was born, I have a harder time sucking it up. But in general, yeah. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-317940 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 20:46:40 +0000 mrsjyw 317940@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep... I've had to CHAMUH a lot with my MIL... :P... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-317937 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 20:45:54 +0000 DillonLion 317937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I'm a major complainer even though I try not to be. And I enjoy being acknowledged heavily if I suck it up and handle business. Lol I am not an aweome example.o f this concept as you can see </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-317935 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 20:45:11 +0000 chopsuey 317935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep.<br /> Being pregnant + taking care of a toddler has definitely made me less patient and less able to suck it up, but I think I'm still doing a good job.<br /> :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-good-at-sucking-it-up#post-317930 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 20:43:34 +0000 mrbee 317930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was just posting on another thread about the Japanese concept of Gaman.... 'a Japanese term of Zen Buddhist origin which means "enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity".'<br /> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaman_(term)" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaman_(term)</a></p> <p>It's such a key concept in Japanese culture... I must've heard the term a million times growing up. The idea is that you just suck it up and endure difficult times. Without this concept, my family could never have survived the years after the firebombing of Tokyo... and I would have had trouble with my (much smaller) hard times growing up.</p> <p>I have always admired public figures who have quietly endured difficulties, like Jackie Robinson when he helped break down the color barrier in baseball:<br /> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackie_Robinson#Breaking_the_color_barrier_.281947.29" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackie_Robinson#Breaking_the_color_barrier_.281947.29</a></p> <p>After I married Bee, I learned that there's a similar term in Korean: cha-muh. Maybe I'm spelling it wrong, because it's not written up as much on the web. But here's a link to get the general idea:<br /> <a href="http://blog.crescendoh.com/crescendo/2011/01/words-of-wisdom-dont-quit.html" rel="nofollow">http://blog.crescendoh.com/crescendo/2011/01/words-of-wisdom-dont-quit.html</a></p> <p>One of the biggest cultural differences I run into here in America is that there isn't as much of a culture of gaman. I've come across pockets of gaman — for example, in the Midwest — but it's not widespread like it is in some other cultures.</p> <p>Anyway the short version of this is that I have a lifetime of training in sucking it up. My dad is American though, so I try to channel his pragmatic spirit when it's productive or useful. Otherwise, I do my best to suck it up and to endure.</p> <p>Are you good at "sucking it up"? </p>