https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 28 Jun 2026 15:44:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child/page/2#post-1151375 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 15:13:10 +0000 banana 1151375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Having 2 definitely has its challenges! My DH and I always talk about how much easier it was with just one. There are times when they both get along really well and it's AWESOME!!! But 10 minutes later, they're fighting. Usually my son is playing with a toy and my daughter takes it away from him. I hate those moments because I don't always know how to handle it. Do I talk to my son about sharing with his sister? Or do I talk to my daughter about not snatching toys from her brother? On one hand, I think my son needs to be a little more understanding because he's older and she's just a baby. At the same time, my daughter should know not to touch her older brother's toys if he's still playing with it. I'm constantly battling these types of things in my head. So it's both physically AND mentally tiring for me.</p> <p>But at the end of the day, I wouldn't change it for the world!!! I love having a bigger family and I love the moments when my son hugs his sister when she's hurt, runs into her room every morning and says "Hi!! Good morning sister!!", and how he always looks for her lovey when she cries because he knows it'll soothe her. I live for those moments! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child/page/2#post-1150500 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 10:14:14 +0000 looch 1150500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Who's going to say they're not happy? I only have one child and having a second isn't going to exponentially increase my happiness, just as not having a second isn't going to decrease my current level of happiness.</p> <p>Don't get me wrong, but I don't think there's any correlation to happiness and number of children, at least in my life there isn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child/page/2#post-1150474 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 10:06:46 +0000 mrskc 1150474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love the honesty in this thread! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-1150450 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 09:57:04 +0000 birdofafeather 1150450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. Love the honesty in this thread!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-1150019 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 02:09:51 +0000 lemondrop 1150019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This may be one of the most helpful threads I've seen so far! It definitely gives a good dose of reality, but also insight on a lot of happiness. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-1150000 Tue, 15 Oct 2013 01:18:45 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1150000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bumping this. I've heard the term Perimenopause for the first time and it jump started my thoughts about another (even though we were pretty sure about only having one)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-957878 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 21:59:54 +0000 googly-eyes 957878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: @Honeybee: @T-Mom: @Mrs. High Heels: @tequiero21: @Andrea: Thanks for all the comments!! It is not discouraging. I guess as a ppd sufferer this time around I'm sort of bracing for the worst with baby 2 but still optimistic in hoping the next baby will be less fussy, or hoping I'll handle it better. :) I guess my biggest fear is that dh and I won't have any time together at all. Dd is a crappy napper but sttn right now so we have some evening time together. I have worked with young children and I know the baby stage is by far the hardest for me... but I want dd to have a sib and I know I will love having CHILDREN growing up together..even though I'm going to definitely struggle with the beginning... Anyway thank you all for your honesty! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-957547 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 19:50:19 +0000 Andrea 957547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: yup, found it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-957508 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 19:42:45 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 957508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the fun times are barrels full of fun. In those times I can't imagine life withou my two little loves. We just came out of a fighting phase and now they are getting along really sweetly. I just wish the tough times were a little easier. </p> <p>There are so many mama traps: comparison, bribing, giving attention to one when the other needs it right then too. I feel like parenting the two really ups the amount of brain power to check and double check mom's actions!</p> <p>@Mrs. High Heels: I still have crazy scars from the brutal fights too. As the oldest I was never allowed to lash out an wasn't allowed to fight back, so I'm peppered with claw mark scars, sadly. I actually don't look too fondly at them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-957223 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 17:11:51 +0000 SugarplumsMom 957223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just want to say how much I love all the comments on this thread! All the honesty paints a clearer picture for me. Thanks! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-957181 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 16:48:12 +0000 tequiero21 957181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: yes! Do u still have my email? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-956805 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 14:25:34 +0000 T-Mom 956805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: I just wanted to add that I didn't mean to threadjack.. or scare you or any other moms away from having 2+. It's not a walk in the park, but it's really rewarding. I've shared my PPD story, and as a lifelong perfectionist, it will be continue to be my challenge to balance the demands of life/work/kids with my own desire for control and being the calm, cool, and collected mom I want to be. Please don't be discouraged by any of this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-956423 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 13:12:28 +0000 Honeybee 956423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: I decided to sign up for an ASL class this fall. It's something I've been wanting to do but just haven't had the time for. I'm also looking to go back to work part-time. A little sooner than we had originally planned but I think it will be nice to focus on my career for a few hours a week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-956234 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 12:42:47 +0000 chopsuey 956234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love having 2 so much it hurts. :P :)<br /> Seeing my kids laugh and play together is the best thing ever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-956020 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:55:44 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 956020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: We ALL have our days - it's important to recognize it in ourselves and that self-awareness goes a loooong way so you're already 10 steps ahead! There is not one of us that doesn't "fail" at this parenting thing, but yes, grace goes a looong way.... to them and to ourselves. I am a proponent of therapy so if it will help relieve some of the stress then definitely go for it!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955992 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:51:18 +0000 Andrea 955992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: soooo cute!!! yeah I seriously die when big sis runs over and says "it's ok, baby!" And she was the first to make the baby laugh! Hey, I am funny, too!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955979 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:49:46 +0000 T-Mom 955979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: you are too sweet! Yes I will definitely be hitting you up for some commiseration :-) . I did some "retail" therapy a while back for "me" time but not suprisngly, it's not sufficient since my budget is now out of whack. I'm thinking I need to put more energy into self care on a regular basis, not just when I have a wedding to go to, etc.<br /> @mrs. wagon: ugly person and mean mommy.. that's exactly how I feel. I'm definitely going to look into the therapy to just be a healthier, more balanced person overall. Thank you for your support! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955910 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:40:10 +0000 Honeybee 955910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: I had a really rough patch with DD a while back. Things have improved dramatically, but if you ever need someone to commiserate with... :) I've also decided to start to doing more things for myself to help destress from being with the kids. Luckily DH is very understanding and supportive because I have been going without breaks for too long! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955904 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:38:54 +0000 mrs. wagon 955904@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: that second paragraph above was directed at you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955895 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:38:19 +0000 mrs. wagon 955895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: grace... grace is the big word. I feel like I get through most days just fine, but when I look back on myself and the way I handle myself, I totally fail at being graceful about things. It makes me an ugly person and a mean mommy :( I think therapy would be a great thing!!! </p> <p>Oh, and when big sib can make little sib laugh and smile without you even lifting a finger?? best thing ever??? sometimes when LMW is crying WJ runs over and says "it's ok, I'm here, I'm here" and I just DIE. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955881 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:35:37 +0000 Andrea 955881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: so sweet!! We need to meet up again. Let's email chat!</p> <p>I love seeing the sisters together and they can't fight yet!!!!!! I know this is the easy part. They seriously light up each other's lives already. The baby can be cranky all day with me, big sis comes home, BAM - smiles and giggles. I hope that they can always count on each other like that. Ok, maybe I am thinking a little too far ahead. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955872 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:34:01 +0000 T-Mom 955872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: Haha ok I will give it my best shot!!<br /> @Honeybee: Ooh thanks for the recommendation! I never finished How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen... add that to my list of unfinished books..<br /> @Mrs. High Heels: I actually feel big sister/little brother is an awesome combo. It just involves a lot of drama, apparently.</p> <p>Is it terrible that I feel like I need some therapy to help me through this stressful time? It's one thing on how to discipline your kids, but it's another on how to discipline yourself on how to parent through it as gracefully as possible. Totally failing right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955839 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:25:12 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 955839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: I have Siblings Without Rivalry - time to dust it off and get some reading done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955833 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:24:23 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 955833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: @Honeybee: I just realized we all have the older sister/younger brother combo! Ah, the things I get to look forward to... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955819 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:21:39 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 955819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: hahaha awesome! i always thought the reason my sister and i fought sooo much was because we were so close in age (19 months apart), so i never felt like she respected me as an older sister since we were more like peers than older/younger and had some of the same friends. there's a definite distinction now though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955817 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:21:31 +0000 Honeybee 955817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: the double whining and double tantrums kill me! And DS wants to do everything his big sister is doing, so when she stafrts throwing a tantrum he likes to throw himself on the ground and start screaming too. Both adorable and frustrating, lol. :)</p> <p>ETA: I really liked Siblings Without Rivalry. It's by the same authors of How To Talk so Your Kids Will Listen. I think it has helped a lot with the fighting, but DS is fully in the toddler hitting/hair pulling/tackling phase which makes things more difficult. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955813 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:20:48 +0000 mrs. wagon 955813@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: you have to live to tell the tale! Do it for us all!! ;) We'll send you e-chocolates and e-wine!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955812 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:20:19 +0000 mrs. wagon 955812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: @Mrs. High Heels: uh yes please, some book reviews would be great!! and @Mrs. High Heels, Wagon Sr. and his brother (15 months apart) would regularly get into fistfights... then get beat by their dad for fighting with each other. Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955809 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:19:25 +0000 T-Mom 955809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. High Heels: Ok I'll keep that in mind! If I survive!!! ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happier-with-a-second-child#post-955804 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:18:23 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 955804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: if you read any books that are useful please let me know! once you're out of the trenches maybe you can write a guest post about it :) </p>