https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 08:31:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658983 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 23:36:55 +0000 Truvy 2658983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I guess so. It is pretty 50/50 when he is home, but I am a SAHM so I ultimately do more housework/childcare as part of my "job". It is really hard when he travels for work and I have a hard time not resenting his quiet hotel evenings where he can watch TV/order takeout, etc. What I really need to do is hire a regular babysitter when he travels so I can have some me time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658946 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 21:19:49 +0000 anonysquire 2658946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm happy with it but it isn't 50/50. I do most of the chores and all the cooking. He works and I'm a stay at home mom. When he comes home from work he hangs with the kids while I make dinner and then we usually all hang out. I like our mix. And I HATE when he tries to cook or clean! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658943 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 20:57:30 +0000 looch 2658943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am, because I include my housecleaner and parents in the mix. Without the 3 additional pairs of hands, it would be a shitshow. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658913 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 19:17:14 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2658913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely. DH is very helpful. He doesn't exactly take initiative (except on the chores he consistently does daily- he does he dishes every night), but if I ask him to do an extra chore here/there he always does it.<br /> He does all meals/cooking and kitchen clean up, as well as his own laundry and occasionally LO laundry.<br /> I do most everything else- bathrooms, the rest of the laundry, living room, dusting, deep cleaning.<br /> I absolutely hate cooking and kitchen clean up so it's a perfect arrangement for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658894 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 18:14:05 +0000 littlejoy 2658894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes ... but our LO is 3, so we've had some practice getting to a point of balance. We both work full time, so home life is pretty much a 50/50 split of housework, parenting, and the day to day stuff. He prefers to do yard work, and I prefer things like using the steam mop every few weekends, so it just works! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658867 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 16:45:26 +0000 Rocker2014 2658867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, but I'm pretty sure it is my own damn fault! I have high standards and like things a certain way, so DH will step back and let me take over most things when it comes to LO and the house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658856 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 16:25:03 +0000 youboots 2658856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm happy with it. If I need help he will do anything I ask. I SAH so I claim most things as my responsibility. His primary duties are 50/50 parenting or more when he's not working, caring for the cars and boat, taking care of the lawn. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658784 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 14:48:55 +0000 ineebee 2658784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Aww that sounds so great! I love that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658781 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 14:46:52 +0000 SweetiePie 2658781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ineebee: Oh my gosh that is too adorable for words!!!<br /> I had a friend once do a week with her husband where every day they had to text each other one thing they appreciate about the other person. She said it was really sweet to hear some of his because he's not normally an emotional or verbal guy (which is my husband too - he's just not mushy gushy with feelings). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658778 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 14:42:33 +0000 ineebee 2658778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I hear you. After a lot of hurt feelings and discussion, we came up with a kind of ridiculous system. We both realized we both appreciate what the other does, but sometimes we don't notice that the other is doing something worth appreciating. So since the noticing is the limiting factor, we realized we could easily remedy that. So now when either of us does something and doesn't quite feel noticed or appreciated, I'll get his attention and do a thumb-on-my-nose-wiggling-fingers motion. And he'll come over, give me a hug and kiss and thank me for what I'm doing. I know, it sounds so ridiculous, but it has done wonders! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658756 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 14:22:26 +0000 SweetiePie 2658756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ineebee: this 💯<br /> I sah for now and DH works and takes care of us. I don't mind doing all the housework (literally all of it - garbage is his only duty) if I know he recognizes and appreciates that the reason his life at home is so easy is because of me. It's not magic.<br /> But appreciation is where we both feel the other is lacking! He thinks I don't appreciate him and vice versa, but when we sit and talk about it we both definitely do. We are working on voicing and showing it more.<br /> Parenting is another story. When we're both home we are 50/50, if not he does slightly more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658750 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 14:18:32 +0000 nana87 2658750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: omg yes to this, I need this rule: "My rule at home is nobody sits down until we can both sit down (or no one relaxes until we can both relax)."!! I feel bad complaining because technically dh does more chores than I do, but he also has way more down-time/"me-time." It drives me CRAZY when I'll be running around busy all day and there are chores that are left undone and he's watching tv. He does most of the cooking, the laundry (though I have to nag him to do it), the trash, dog walks, etc--but I do more of the child-caring: I commute/do pick up/drop off plus have lo one full day per week. And lo usually demands my full attention when we're home/I do most bedtimes and motn wake ups. Also, dh works from home whereas I usually do not, and I have a full-time workload on a part-time schedule. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658744 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 14:12:08 +0000 kiddosc 2658744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: You pretty much just described us. </p> <p>I'm happy with the division, but I feel like we're both stretched pretty thin and sometimes things go by the wayside. Sometimes there's three days of dishes in the sink and we eat cereal for dinner. Envy my life :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658741 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 14:08:56 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2658741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a great setup with a 50/50 split. We're pretty considerate of each other when we know someone needs time to themselves or when they need a break. When someone is sick, the other person does the majority of wake-ups in the middle of the night. I work in the city 3 days/week which is a super long commute, so we split day care pick up and drop off. We'll also split morning duty. He packs us up while I get the kids up, teeth brushed, and diaper/clothes changed. </p> <p>We're very much a team when it comes to everything kids related, and neither one of us is afraid to ask for help. One of the things we both said when we had kids is not to act like a martyr and try to do it all ourselves...the other person is not a mind reader, and doesn't know if you need help unless you ask. And...we also don't get on each other if something is done a different way than we would do it. It's worked well for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658738 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 14:07:38 +0000 ShootingStar 2658738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's pretty even. It came up the other night that we both think the other one is doing more, lol. We generally have our set responsibilities and also a primary child to be responsible for. We have a 3m old who's EBF so I take on most things related to her, and DH takes most things related to our toddler. </p> <p>I do most of the cooking and meal planning, and he does most of the cleaning. But we kind of suck at both and end up eating out a lot with a messy house, lol. I had to fire our cleaning lady and I haven't found time to hire a new one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658727 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 14:03:22 +0000 caterw 2658727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely do a bulk of the parenting stuff and chores but I also SAH. I think it works out to be mostly fair. </p> <p>I did just realize my husband does that thing where I need to set him up to take care of the kids though... I have to lay out outfits (with diapers), make sure the getting ready stuff is all stocked, etc. He has never done an infant bath, used the NoseFrida, clipped nails, or brushed the girls hair... I'm not super mad about it but it is interesting that so many people have that experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658725 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 14:02:33 +0000 FaithFertility 2658725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For the most part<br /> We are 50/50 and work as a team well<br /> But my standards of clean are way bigge bigger than his so when I want things clean I do them...<br /> Ex: Clean counters to me means move all objects where he wipes around</p> <p>Ohhh for a long time he would mop with out sweeping or vacuuming first :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658719 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 13:59:26 +0000 ineebee 2658719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not, but it's SO much better now than when DS was an infant. It's also hard to know what's "fair," though, since I'm a SAHM and DH works 12-14-hour days. For me, simply being appreciated for what I do helps a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658713 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 13:56:25 +0000 Anagram 2658713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>But I should add--generally we have a pretty equitable split. That's important to me because I can be a bean counter and I get resentful as sh#t when I feel like I'm doing way more than my share. We both work full time, we both chose to have two kids, so we both have to do our share. </p> <p>My rule at home is nobody sits down until we can both sit down (or no one relaxes until we can both relax). So if we are splitting bed time duties and one kid goes down super fast and the other parent is still putting the other kid to bed--the free parent should be cleaning up dinner, packing lunches, picking up the house, etc so that when the second parent is free, they can both relax for the night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658700 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 13:52:34 +0000 Anagram 2658700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: OMG. Just read this. My husband does that a lot and I didn't really realize it until I read your post. Our older daughter has ballet on Saturdays and we rotate who takes her and who stays home or does something else with the younger one. But somehow, whether I am taking or or he is taking her, I end up doing all the work to get her out the door. He be undressing her and shouting requests at me, like "Can you go get her ballet clothes and hand them to me? Can you refill her water bottle? Can you put a snack in the stroller? Will you hand me her coat?" DUDE, it's your turn--YOU DO IT. Obviously, when it's my turn, I manage to do everything myself without help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658683 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 13:45:25 +0000 ValentineMommy 2658683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, no, no, no, no. Sometimes it's like living in the 50's....except add in the fact that I'm also the primary breadwinner. It's....tiresome. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658650 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 13:33:16 +0000 catgirl 2658650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm fine with the division on big things. We agreed that as a SAHM the vast majority of cooking, cleaning, and laundry falls to me. I have no issues with that and DH is great at packing up the slack as long as I ask.</p> <p>It's the little things - like leaving dishes on the counter instead of in the sink/dishwasher or putting dirty clothes next to the hamper. I don't think those should be my responsibility just because I do the dishes and laundry. I think as an adult member of the house those should just be things you do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658598 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 12:33:19 +0000 Mrsbells 2658598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sunshine: I think its always going to lean more on me. But I do find that DH responds well to being assigned specific things to do, rather than just expecting he will pick up slack here and there. Once he knows something is "his task" he will keep doing it daily/weekly etc </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2658576 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 12:04:39 +0000 snowjewelz 2658576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah... DH will do everything... I just have very high standards :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2656892 Wed, 23 Nov 2016 21:50:05 +0000 JennyD 2656892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: bah! Sorry!! It's not perfect, but he does the dishes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2656882 Wed, 23 Nov 2016 21:31:39 +0000 LemonJack 2656882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm happy with it. DH is a super hands on parent and a good partner around the house. I'm just getting out of my first trimester, and while I was in the midst of the worst of it he really did almost everything - laundry, cooking, cleaning, taking care of DD. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2656869 Wed, 23 Nov 2016 21:07:59 +0000 catomd00 2656869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: haha ok now I'm less happy. DH has been unemployed the past 2 months and hasn't done many chores during the day! Less of a shock when he starts working again next week though I guess! Silver lining?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2656853 Wed, 23 Nov 2016 20:46:11 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2656853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Umm no! DH is very hands on with most things, but when both of us around he just wants to hold the baby and not do the set up tasks. Example: he wants to change the baby. Well, that may mean he has to open a new box of diapers or go upstairs and pick out PJs. If he's home alone he will do it; if I am home he expects this to be some kind of shared task where I gather everything. He has never clipped LO's nails or given him a bath solo (we did maybe 3 joint baths). I make DH wash all the bottles and fiddle with clearing LO's nose when he's home though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2656832 Wed, 23 Nov 2016 20:17:42 +0000 JennyD 2656832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes but mainly because DH is currently unemployed and does a ton of housework including dishes! I'm sure when he goes back to work that will change ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-happy-with-the-current-division-of-labor-in-your-house#post-2656770 Wed, 23 Nov 2016 18:11:20 +0000 IRunForFun 2656770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, but mainly b/c I'm not working right now (aside from a few hours of freelance a week) and our first baby isn't due for another 2 months, so I have lots of time to get things done and DH still chips in a ton on weekends. We will have to see after the baby comes b/c he works weird hours and a long shift, so I'm nervous. </p>