https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 03:36:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2687300 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 13:58:16 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2687300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes - and I"m trying to watch myself with that. He often asks why his little brother can do things when he can't, and I try to explain that he doesn't know that jumping on the couch is bad or hitting isn't what we do. I don't allow the hitting, but DS1 (4 years old) gets in much more trouble than DS 2 who is 16 months.</p> <p>There was an article floating around FB a while back and I think even posted on here that talked about feeling the parents' annoyance from the 3-5 year old point of view. It was heartbreaking, and it stuck with me. I'm really trying to keep my patience more with DS1. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2687295 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 13:53:59 +0000 Boogs 2687295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes yes, but I try to catch myself to be more fair. DH does it more than I do, so I usually try to point it out to him also. It's hard being the oldest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2687251 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 13:31:53 +0000 hellobeeboston 2687251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>YES... but I feel like that has to do with the age difference. LO 1 is 4, and LO 2 is almost 16 months.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2687202 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 12:44:24 +0000 gingerbebe 2687202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes but I think it's more because DS1 is a very emotional and high strung child who gets overstimulated easily and has introvert tendencies. He needs a lot of structure and predictability and consistency in order to be his best self, so we tend to be pretty strict with him. DS2 is just a much happier, easygoing child (albeit just as stubborn as DS1) so he's a lot more flexible and not so touchy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2687164 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 11:37:40 +0000 Mama Bird 2687164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. If DS tried the stuff DD gets away with there would have been consequences... it's partly that he's older, and partly that he actually feels guilty when scolded. DD on the other hand, is all "honey badger don't care" so it's pointless to tell her that we don't throw food or that tooth brushing is not optional. So the situation feels a bit unfair to both of them. </p> <p>On the bright side, all the patience we're learning dealing with DD helps us go easier on DS too, and I'm hoping he'll be a good influence on her because she listens to him best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2687128 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 10:55:49 +0000 autumnlove 2687128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsF: yeah, I feel horrible about it too! :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2687113 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 10:41:35 +0000 MrsF 2687113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes - and I end up feeling horrible about it. It's just so hard because it seems like she should know better. I have to remind myself that even at 4yo she's still so little :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2687095 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 10:19:29 +0000 HappyBaker 2687095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and I'm working on trying to remember she is still little too! DD is 4 and DS is 2, and I definitely have way less patience for DD's tantrums and whining, while I almost expect it out of DS. It's hard because she seems so old most of the time, but she is still learning and growing / becoming a rational human. Ha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2687063 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 09:50:42 +0000 snowjewelz 2687063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we just haven't had as much patience for her since we now have a newborn too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2687060 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 09:48:13 +0000 LuLu Mom 2687060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yes, I've been working on this because I think I might be too hard on her. She's 4 and still has a ton of tantrums and angry outbursts, her younger sister is coming up on 2 and is a very easy going/ happy kid. Their personalities are like night and day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2687040 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 09:23:47 +0000 Mrs. Blue 2687040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were just talking about this. G is the older than the twins were when he was born and I remember expecting way more out of them. I guess it's a product of being the younger sibling but he just seems SOOOO young to me so I let him get by with more stuff because he's "still little" that I know I would never have put up with when the twins were his age. We were just saying that he's a little out of control and we need to start being more strict with him and expecting better behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2687008 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 08:48:30 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2687008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unfortunately, yes. They are both still very little (3 years and 21 months) but I often expect more of my 3 year old because she just seems so much older than her sister. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-harder-on-your-first-born#post-2685293 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 08:45:00 +0000 autumnlove 2685293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO 1 (5) is usually easygoing but I have very little patience when she does act out with whining. LO 2 (3.5) on the other hand was very, very, very whiny from 3 to 3.5 and I had a higher tolerance for it. </p>