https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Apr 2026 21:17:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-207001 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 19:07:36 +0000 Mommy Finger 207001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eeh: You said it a lot more perfectly than I could have. I agree with you on this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206539 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 12:12:11 +0000 Foodnerd81 206539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can be, although I usually keep it to myself (and never say something to the person, just say it to my husband or friend that I'm with). The biggest example is when I see parents out at midnight with really little kids-- I just can't really see why or when that is appropriate. Not infants who can sleep through anything, even, like 2 year olds who should be in bed!<br /> Other things, I might side eye, but I know there are reasons-- like when I see a big kid in a stroller, part of me wants to be like, shouldn't he be walking? But I know, maybe they are out for a really long time and he can't walk that long, maybe he is big for his age and way younger, maybe he can't walk, so I try to not think that.<br /> I think I'm generally pretty tolerant, but the keeping kids out that late kills me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206473 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 11:28:41 +0000 Maysprout 206473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am less judgy now that I'm a parent. If I hang out with someone regularly I'm a bit more likely to pick out what I like and don't like - but for people I just see out and about I realize that snip-its while out in public often aren't the typical parenting. </p> <p> If someone is just berating their child I judge though. There's a difference between correcting behavior and just tearing a kids esteem to shreds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206471 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 11:26:45 +0000 ziggy 206471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since I'm not a parent yet, I'm sure this will change, but as of right now, I am judgy but more in the way that ALIVOO01 describes. It's a way for me and DH to hash out some of our own opinions and plan how we would like to do things, not as gossip and not as a put down to that parent, though. I never ever say anything (and thankfully have not been in a situation where it was cause for fear of harm; I would probably say something in a nonjudgmental way at that point for the kid's safety.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206468 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 11:25:01 +0000 owlwho 206468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I start with judgmental thoughts, I ask myself, "who am I to judge?" and that stops it right away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206441 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 11:09:29 +0000 yoursilverlining 206441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, I'm judgy. Having a kid is 100% a voluntary and optional lifechoice, and it means you are responsible for raising a person and shaping/molding them. When someone is obviously a crap parent who isn't particularly involved and makes poor decisions of course I feel judgy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206370 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 10:35:18 +0000 Minnie_Girl 206370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do a bit, but it's easier when you're child-free. I've spent a lot of time babysitting my 2yo nephew, and consequently spent a lot of time thinking about how I'll parent. </p> <p>The things that really bug me are diet, discipline, and educational playtime. I know how hard it is to keep a wildly active toddler entertained, but it still bothers me to see any child planted in front of the Disney channel snacking on crackers and juice. Every moment counts with children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206351 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 10:25:59 +0000 cvbee 206351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find that I am judgy until I have gone through that myself. Then I feel bad about having been judgy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206297 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 10:04:51 +0000 hilsy85 206297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Of course...I think it's normal to be somewhat judgmental/have judgy thoughts. I would NEVER say something though--I just keep them to myself. And it's generally mainly when the kids are really badly behaved and the parents seem like they're providing zero discipline, or when the parents seem like they're making unhealthy choices for their kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206289 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 10:01:52 +0000 matador84 206289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try not to be so bad...especially since I don't have kids yet (at least for 8 more weeks). It has been hard watching my SIL raise our nephew. He is about to turn 4 and has been exposed to potty training, but is still in diapers...she feeds him tons of candy and sugary drinks which have caused his gums and front teeth to rot out. I think there is probably a fine line between clueless parenting (her) and bad parenting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206285 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 09:59:45 +0000 dookie32 206285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes- mostly when it comes to family since those are the only times that it directly affects me. We had a very uncomfortable situation a few weeks ago when my son was baptized. My husband's brother, who was the godfather, came with his wife and 3 kids- none of whom are vaccinated. My son was 8 weeks at the time and hadn't had his shots yet so it was a completely stressful and scary weekend for me trying to keep him away from the kids. I respect people parenting however they want to but I have issues when your choices can directly impact the health of my son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206201 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 08:56:26 +0000 mamimami 206201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, have to agree with @Alivoo01. This is a big subject of conversation between my husband and me. Before we became parents we talked about people we knew and why they turned out the way they did and what their parents did to contribute to that. Now that we are parents we gossip about other family members mostly, "pssss, did you hear your cousin say that his kid's first word was coke? WTH!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206198 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 08:54:32 +0000 prettylizy 206198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm insidey judgey bt I never say anything to anyone else. It's none of my business what other people choose to do, but I can't help but judge a little. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206188 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 08:48:59 +0000 pelikila 206188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes. I was judgey recently at lunch. We were at a mexican restaurant and a family at the table next to us sat down with their two boys (one probably about 4 and the other probably less than 18 months). I watched the mom fill the youngest son's bottle with iced tea and then let him eat chips and hot queso. The queso was too hot and he burnt his mouth and ended up throwing up everything because of it. Situations like that I totally judge their actions because that was easily avoidable and not smart. Obviously I don't say anything to the parents, just my husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206181 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 08:45:27 +0000 Alivoo01 206181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do internally, but the hubby and I will discuss the situation later in our own privacy to benchmark what the other one thinks or what we would have done differently. We don't have kids yet so it's a little trial and error for us to see if we're on the same page or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206162 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 08:33:01 +0000 eeh 206162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a personal rule regarding judging: I will judge on issues on right and wrong. I will not judge on issues of preference. If I see something going on I try to ask myself if it falls into the first or second category and adjust my thoughts accordingly. Example: For me personally, letting your kid hit you because they didn't get their way is an issue of right and wrong and I will judge. Choosing to let your kid have ice cream is a preference and I won't judge. That being said...your version of right/wrong vs preference might be different than mine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206159 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 08:31:48 +0000 sorrycharlie 206159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>sometimes, definitely in my head. I think it's human nature to judge. however, I don't agree with always sharing those judgments ;) </p> <p>i think the same thing goes for pregnancy - I might judge how someone else is "doing things" (what she's doing, eating, etc.) but I'd NEVER share my opinion with that person unless asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206154 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 08:28:01 +0000 Modern Daisy 206154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely not. I notice when parents are doing kind of unusual things as far as parenting, but I cut it off before I get judgy. DH, however, does get judgy and I have to bring him back down to earth sometimes and remind him that parenting is a very tough job and no one is perfect so you can't even go there unless obviously the child is being clearly abused. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206145 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 08:18:18 +0000 Andrea 206145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have never said anything to someone's face about it but of course I have judgey thoughts from time to time if what they are doing is the complete opposite of what I think. But I also think that their kid could turn out to be a great leader and mine could be a loser so who knows what will ultimately work? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206092 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 07:19:15 +0000 MrsTiz 206092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not a parent, and I do find myself judging parents sometimes. I know this isn't fair and it'll change once I have a little but some people ..I just don't understand their methods lol. I would never question a parent though, unless they were abusing their child </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206072 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 07:01:19 +0000 mrsjyw 206072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before I was pregnant, I didn't notice. Now that I am, I internally get judgey, but as long as it is not harming/hurting the child-- I keep my mouth shut! There's a rhyme and reason to everyone's own parenting methods, to each their own! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206040 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 05:34:05 +0000 Rubies 206040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sort of get judgey when I see a parent do something I wouldn't do but then I stop myself because I know we are all just trying to survive. Some people think I'm ridiculous for planning my life around LO's sleep schedule but whatever, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-206018 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 02:42:23 +0000 autumnlove 206018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was more judgey before I was a parent...now I don't care as much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-205982 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 00:12:55 +0000 skibobrown 205982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Now that I'm a parent myself, I can no longer imagine judging anyone else's parenting choices (unless it comes down to issues of safety or neglect). </p> <p>Actually, I guess when we're talking about older kids I probably am still judgy when it comes to discipline issues. I hate seeing parents who just let their kids get away with murder. But as far as taking care of a baby, now I see that parenting is trial by fire, and you end up doing things that you never thought you would do! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-205955 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 23:06:05 +0000 brownie 205955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>YES!! But only as it directly affects me or they complain. For example I teach crossfit to 3-5 years and those kids whose parents make some choices are very difficult. The other is parents I know who complain about something their kid does which is because of their parenting. That complaining and not dealing with it just kills me. I don't care what they do until they start complaining. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-205833 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 21:51:29 +0000 HLK208 205833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel the same way as you do...I have my own kiddo's to worry about, it seems exhausting to judge other parents choices. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-205817 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 21:46:19 +0000 Mrsbells 205817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>when I see really young kids drinking soda and stuffing their face with candy, yes I do judge their parents in my mind.<br /> i also judge when I see parents feeding their kids food in the store before paying. I used to work in a supermarket and at the end of the day we would find hundreds of partially eaten foods left in carts or on shelves... I just think its a bad lesson to teach kids that its ok to pay BEFORE you open it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-205809 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 21:44:19 +0000 Boogs 205809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As long as they aren't abusive or their choices don't affect my kid, I don't really care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-205804 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 21:42:30 +0000 MamaMoose 205804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Internally: yes. But I would never say anything to another parent about their parenting unless I was seriously worried about the welfare of the child. I guess I deal with it by just reminding myself that some other people probably wouldn't agree with the plans I have for how I will parent and it's important that everyone have the freedom to do what's best for their family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-judge-y-about-other-peoples-parenting-choices#post-205779 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 21:36:25 +0000 mrbee 205779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This may reflect poorly on me, but it honestly doesn't really bother me if other people are bad parents. I mean, abuse of any kind is abhorrent and will greatly bother me. But short of that, I just feel sorry for the kid.</p> <p>I just don't have a lot of energy to judge other parents, especially these days. And who knows: maybe their kids will turn out to be great, and my kids will be serial killers. Then I'll be the one being judged!</p> <p>All that said, ok maybe I do slightly judge other parents for certain choices. But I always figure, there's probably something I'm not aware of that explains their behavior. And I work really hard not to judge. Not always possible, but that's the goal.</p> <p>Are you judge-y about other people's parenting choices? How do you manage those sorts of feelings? </p>