https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Jul 2026 10:54:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-209048 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 15:00:16 +0000 Mrs. Pen 209048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>hmmm tough one. I have a boy right now, so all my energies are focused on raising him and even though he is so good I do worry about him growing up and not keeping me as his "friend" as many men don't seem to acknowledge their mothers once they're grown, I worry about him not learning how to communicate, be a good, gentlemanly husband, manners/how to treat women, anger/temper management etc. there are so many deeper issues with boys.</p> <p>But for the same reasons you said I fear raising a girl - however I am more scared at the DRAMA of raising a girl. I was kind of relieved when I had a boy for that very reason lol!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-209029 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 14:48:09 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 209029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am glad my son is first because Now I can have a big brother for my future daughter because of the reasons you mentioned: girls need so much TLC! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-208973 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 13:49:29 +0000 jennylynn 208973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worry more about a girl. For all the reasons mentioned above, and I feel like they are more fragile, and have a higher risk of being the victim of abuse. I'm so afraid of someone hurting her. It makes my stomach hurt to think about all of the sickos out in the world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-208925 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 13:22:26 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 208925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was much more worried about raising a boy. The pressure for them to control their emotions and conform to guy norms is so great. Plus, there is a growing gender gap in education where teachers tend to teach towards girls, so college is being increasingly dominated by women.</p> <p>I'd much rather channel my energies into raising strong intelligent girls who are able to fight for justice in the workplace, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-208921 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 13:18:09 +0000 Running Elley 208921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m actually more worried about raising a boy even though I’m not overly worried about either. For me the worry behind raising a boy is making sure that he grows up to be one of “the good guys.” It seems like a lot of the guys that I meet lately are just really immature and act like jerks. I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to make sure our little guy is a gentleman who will be a good older brother/husband/father someday. The fact that DH is such a well-rounded and kind man makes me feel better though because he will be a great example. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-208915 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 13:13:32 +0000 regberadaisy 208915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes to girl! I feel like there's SO much more to fear with raising a girl in today's world. Sigh.</p> <p>Our first is a girl and I'm adamant that whatever decisions we make with her in terms of rules the exact same will apply to any future boys. If we don't want our daughter to date till she's 16 then any boys won't date till they're 16 either. So we definitely need to keep that in mind as we make decisions down the road. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-208906 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 13:06:35 +0000 ladyfingers 208906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, girl for all the reasons mentioned already. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-208819 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 12:29:42 +0000 MrsMccarthy 208819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there are difficulties with either side. With my son i worry more about bullying, him getting into fights, him closing off emotionally. I plan to work very hard to combat these issues but i think some of it on both sides is inevitable. Boys are more prone to injury and dare devil behavior so i will worry so much about him. </p> <p>With girls ofcourse you worry about their self esteem more and their sexuality being an issue more. </p> <p>I truly think they both present equal levels of difficulty and blessings. I am so lucky to have a wonderful male influence for my son and i know i would be a wonderful female influence if we ever have a daughter. I think that can help a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207967 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 12:50:52 +0000 LuLu Mom 207967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a bigger fear of raising a boy just because I have never been around them like I have girls. I have all sisters and all nieces so raising a boy is a foreign concept. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207958 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 12:39:41 +0000 Mrs. Cat in the Cradle 207958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jholler25: Yep! I've been mommy tracked big time. Plus I'm being worked like a plow horse as of late, because I know they want to take all they can before I go on leave. I'm sick of coming up against such dated attitudes. If a woman chooses to quit work, great, but these companies need to not assume that is what every woman wants for herself. And to be honest, at this point I wish I could quit and be a SAHM for a while, they've totally drained my will to continue. Fortunately the will to provide for LO is stronger, so I will do what I need to for her well-being. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207916 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 11:17:50 +0000 mrsjazz 207916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FutureMrsMcK: HAHAHA! Best thing I've read all week :) And now I'm really afraid for the future with my daughter.</p> <p>I think it's hard to raise both genders for different reasons but I did breathe a slight sigh of relief when I found out we were having a little girl. For me raising a son would give me more anxiety because race comes into play and I think it's harder to raise little Black boys than Black girls. Black girls/women are statistically doing better: doing well in school, going to college, etc. than Black boys/men. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207911 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 11:08:00 +0000 lovehoneybee 207911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely a girl, for all the reasons mentioned, and this one: with a boy, you only have to worry about one dick, with a girl, you have to worry about all the dicks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207906 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 10:38:08 +0000 Minnie_Girl 207906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not worried about either, though I'd have to say that a girl would probably be a bigger challenge for me. I'm one of four girls and know perfectly well what a miserable little beast I was from about 9 - 19. I remember very, very well how hard being a teenage girl was. Has anyone else seen the documentary Miss Representation? That really underscored all the difficulties I perceive for girls growing up today. </p> <p>I've also spent a lot of time interacting with my little brother (10 yrs younger) and 2yo nephew (have babysat him since he was a newborn). The girl babies I know tend to be coddled more, and don't get played/rough housed with like little boys, so I've found it a bit awkward to interact with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207882 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 09:52:11 +0000 Maysprout 207882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really - I'm one of 4 girls so I'm not all that worried about raising a girl. I mean I do worry that we'll have typical mother daughter conflict at some point but there's lots of other benefits that balance out that worry. </p> <p>I guess because I've only had girls around I used to be a bit more worried about raising a son. That had gone away but now that I have my daughter I do worry that I won't connect with a son the same way I connected with my daughter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207836 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 08:42:29 +0000 heffalump 207836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there are pros and cons for each, and either one will be difficult. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207817 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 07:58:28 +0000 DillonLion 207817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: jinx. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207816 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 07:58:04 +0000 DillonLion 207816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Girl, definitely. For all the reasons you mentioned, plus I was so nasty to my mom when I was a teenager and I'm worried a daughter will be the same to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207811 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 07:49:28 +0000 autumnlove 207811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A girl, for all the reasons you mentioned and because I think they(speaking from experience)can have more attitude towards their parents during those rough junior and high school years! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207810 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 07:49:06 +0000 PrincessBaby 207810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Cat in the Cradle: Totally agree with you on gender gap! I am in medical device sales for a company under the umbrella of a major pharmaceutical company, and any woman who has kids is immediately identified as being on the Mommy Track. I've already gotten questions about how much leave I'll take, if I'm definitely planning on coming back, etc...And I just feel like Moms are scrutinized to make sure they're not slacking...Also, if there's a "restructure", read "Layoff," I feel like I would be a surefire goner. It's just a feeling I have being in my industry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207804 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 07:42:50 +0000 Mrs. Cat in the Cradle 207804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A girl, for all the reasons you mentioned. Plus I worry that it will be more difficult for her once she is working. I honestly thought the gender gap had closed some, and at least in my industry, I couldn't have been more wrong. I know other ladies &amp; I have been the subject of discrimination, plus I'm very worried I will get laid off once LO is born. The view is that there is no way I can be a mother &amp; good employee. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-more-fearful-of-raising-one-gender-over-the-other#post-207799 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 07:35:24 +0000 PrincessBaby 207799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am definitely more fearful of raising a girl, because I feel like life is so much HARDER for girls growing up. My heart already aches for her and all of the difficulties she may face one day....Not being pretty enough, or thin enough, or popular enough...Not making the cheerleading squad, etc. The pressures associated with being a girl, I just dread the heartbreak of watching her deal with them. Growing up, especially high school, was miserable for me. Maybe Harper will be much more fortunate (I'll do everything I can to make her life easier!), but that is what I fear concerning raising a girl.</p> <p>I am not as worried about raising a boy. I just think of them as being so much more laid back and not having as much pressure on them for everything.</p> <p>Which gender gives you the most anxiety about parenting? </p>