https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 06:23:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially/page/2#post-358344 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:42:56 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 358344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have considered buying a house with my mother so that we could both afford one of a decent size 3-4000sqft. Although that might all change due to inheritance...I'd rather not even think about that right now though, to fresh. The main goal is to get her moved closer to us so that we can keep and eye on her and help her maintain her home. She is only 62 but her physical health is more that of a 78 yr old. She is also partially deaf &amp; her mind is failing, she is so scatter brained. As mom will be much more financially stable then us we will most likely take over managing the fiances &amp; the farm. Not sure about the in-laws, they are very independent and would prob rather go into an assisted living when the time came. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially/page/2#post-358301 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:28:29 +0000 HLK208 358301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We want to help them someday but they are about 10 years from retiring. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially/page/2#post-358292 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:26:33 +0000 dagret 358292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are super-savers (401k for each of them, Roths for each AND a bangin' pension &amp; healthcare once they retire, with a paid-off house) and should be fine.<br /> DH's parents should be fine as well...not sure about their financial specifics, exactly, but I highly doubt that 1. they will need help or 2. they would accept our help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-358279 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:22:53 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 358279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: I definitely think it is cultural. None of the aging family members in my family have moved in with their children....they all live in homes or have a nurse come live with them/take care of them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-358272 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:21:29 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 358272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are in their 40s. This thought hasn't even crossed my mind.....as of now they make a million times more money than us so I think us helping them out financially is a long ways a way..... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-358259 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:19:15 +0000 blackbird 358259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nah. My parents will not need our help and they have money socked away for this kind of stuff. They have already set the money up so that they won't be penalized in the future. And, knowing my parents, they would never, ever, ever, take a dime from us, because it would take away from our ability to provide for our own kids. That's just how they are. They would never let it happen. </p> <p>No idea what the deal is with my MIL, though. She doesn't have much money and will likely end up in a state funded home. Dh and I have agreed that family will not live with us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-358230 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:12:16 +0000 mrs. wagon 358230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunny: I definitely think culture has a lot to do with expectations, as well as need. I know that in Korea it's pretty much assumed that the parents will live with the oldest son's family until they die, and most parents get an allowance from all their children. Also, most aging Asians in the US are either immigrants or second or third generation, which means at some point in the near past, someone came to this country with probably very little (or nothing) and built up their life here from scratch. So there's just less money (and property) from the past.</p> <p>@yoursilverlining: I'm so glad you mentioned this... I think a lot of people don't consider this factor when thinking about their future. My MIL has a house that we're trying to liquidate as fast as possible so that she can retire. She thought that it could serve as inheritance for her sons, but the cold hard reality of it is that if she doesn't get rid of it, she will end up with nothing in the end because the government considers her rich because she has this huge asset in her name! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-358190 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:04:01 +0000 ladyfingers 358190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only thing we'd be capable of doing is letting one of them live with us. That would be hard, and I'm hoping it doesn't come to that. We're not financially able to help anybody other than ourselves right now, and probably won't be in the near future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-358109 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 11:39:22 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 358109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, my in-laws live with rent free now and we support them financially bc they don't have any source of income (though they just recently qualified for SS disability so now they'll be getting a monthly check). We're also working on paying off their debt.</p> <p>Thankfully, my mom is completely self-sufficient and is incredibly financially savvy so I don't think I'll ever have to worry about her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-358044 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 11:18:50 +0000 Mrsbells 358044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will always gladly help my parents or in laws if they need financial help. They took care of us and spent lots of money on us growing up so I dont even have to think about helping them if they need it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-358033 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 11:12:45 +0000 MamaMoose 358033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents will not need financial help. My ILs aren't great savers, but my MIL's mom has a lot of money so they should be fine financially as well once inheritance is considered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357999 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 11:04:06 +0000 BSB 357999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad is pretty reckless with his money and currently retired. I am worried he will run out of money. My mom on the other hand is not retired but recently got laid off. I would support my mom but living with a parent can be hard. I hope that my siblings can share our responsibilities so it doesn't fall on one of us. By sharing rent/mortgage or letting her stay for a few months at a time.</p> <p>I'm actually wondering if it's appropriate to ask my aunt (my mom's sister) to help.</p> <p>I guess I would look to my siblings than my children for help. Maybe it's just me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357995 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 11:03:22 +0000 wheres_c 357995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: @krsmall: @zippylef: </p> <p>All of her children give her an "allowance" and have done so since they were 18.<br /> It was already agreed upon before I was in the picture. </p> <p>I wouldn't mind contributing if I knew his, or my family truly needed help.<br /> I just don't feel like they do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357978 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:58:40 +0000 Meridian 357978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my parents are set... my dad is 67 and has no plans of retiring from his medical practice anytime soon. </p> <p>My ILS on the other hand, retired 3 years ago with very little savings/retirement plan. They've been ok so far, but I'm terrified to know what happens when they are out of money. DH and I are comfortable, but we don't have a lot of extra money on hand to give them (and we'd rather put that in savings for a house), and we've been paying half of their property taxes for the past 3 years (his sister &amp; BIL pay the other half). I don't know what to do when they need/expect more than that!</p> <p>I've told DH very firmly that we CAN'T live with them. I'd be open to a 2-flat where we live in the same building, but they would need their own living space. I CANNOT share a kitchen/living room with them... I would go crazy!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357924 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:43:02 +0000 yoursilverlining 357924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will be helping my parents financially in the future, as well as physically since we live pretty close. My husband is an only child; so I anticipate caring for MIL too (which I’m happy to do; she is wonderful!). It is unlikely we would need to help out MIL financially; but you never know.</p> <p>One note about assuming parents will always have enough money for nursing home/assisted living costs in particular: my grandmother had a decent pension (almost 70k a year, after taxes) and owned a condo and a home outright. She planned to leave pretty decent inheritances to us grandkids. Because she owned those assets and didn’t basically liquidate them in time before needing an assisted care facility; she did not qualify for state medicare and had to pay over $7k a MONTH in cash to the facility. She passed away about 2 weeks ago having not a dime; even after selling both properties. We will pay for her funeral, and obviously, there is absolutely zero inheritance (which of course, is fine). Needless to say; if your parents have decent assets, speak to a financial guru before your parents need help and get caught “in the system” having to pay out of pocket for care. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357876 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:25:28 +0000 Alivoo01 357876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hubby and I will do whatever is necessary to help out our parents, whether it be living with us or helping them financially for whatever reason. We owe them tons for all that they have done for us, so there's no boundaries when they need us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357858 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:23:01 +0000 mrsjyw 357858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I help my parents right now whenever they're short on their bills. So does my younger brother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357857 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:23:01 +0000 ChelseaRose 357857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents will not be in the financial position to need our help based on retirement savings and other streams of income that they have acquired over the years. My ILs (mostly FIL) have made poor financial decisions because they know that FIL's mother is wealthy. They will have an inheritance that will aow them to live well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357847 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:19:06 +0000 Freckles 357847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are financially set, though i give my mom an "allowance" when i visit. We recently paid for a reno that DH's parents did to their home, and will probably assist them financially later on when their savings begin to drop. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357840 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:17:33 +0000 sunny 357840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MediaNaranja: I've heard this happen to coworkers who have family in India. A coworker said that her MIL came with a shopping list of big ticket items that they "needed" back in India like iPads &amp; other electronics. Yikes!</p> <p>@mrs. wagon: I wonder if the need/want/expectation to help out parents is cultural? I discussed this with friends once and it seemed like it was very common among my Asian friends to help out parents but not so common among non-Asian friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357836 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:15:56 +0000 loveisstrange 357836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelingbrit: Yeah, up until last month we were paying DH's grandmother's car insurance.... even though she pays for 3 other cars already. DH told her we would without asking me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357828 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:14:19 +0000 littlek 357828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelingbrit: I don't think you are bitter. That would bother me too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357827 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:13:24 +0000 oliviaoblivia 357827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelingbrit: I would not be cool with that. My MIL has hinted that she expects us to do that, but I put my foot down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357822 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:12:34 +0000 wheres_c 357822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We give MIL a monthly check despite the fact that shes working, owns a home and nicer clothes and car than I do.<br /> Bitter much? :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357820 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:12:24 +0000 heffalump 357820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We aren't, and probably won't be. My parents still help us out sometimes. They could comfortably retire now, and my mom will retire within the next few months, but my dad will keep working few a few more years. They'll be fine and they'll have plenty of money for emergencies, nursing homes, etc. if they need it. </p> <p>My in laws will also have enough money for themselves. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357807 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:10:10 +0000 MediaNaranja 357807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Once we are in a position to, we will likely be sending MIL a minimal monthly check (like $100-150). She is a widow, has only an elementary school education, and makes her living raising chickens and other small animals. She lives in Ecuador, so cost of living is much lower for her. She is a sweet woman, never asks for anything even though she sometimes struggles, and I honestly don't mind helping her out each month. </p> <p>What does bother me is how DH's siblings expect us to help them out, too. They think that since he moved to the US he is automatically rolling in dough, and weekly he will get an email asking for money for things like new televisions, cell phones, car repairs, etc. This honestly really pisses me off and I have no intention of ever handing out money like that when asked. I realize that it is a cultural thing, but I still find it RUDE and off-putting. Luckily DH is on the same page as me.</p> <p>As far as my parents go, I know that they have worked hard to save for retirement. I am more than willing to pitch in though, if it turns out that they are short. They have done so much for my brothers and I, as well as for DH and I, that it is the least I can do to thank them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357806 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:10:04 +0000 Bookish 357806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will help them in any way possible that does NOT involve money. They have already asked to borrow money, and it did not go over well with me. My own parents are financially stable but my ILs are not, and I really don't know how things will work out in the next several years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357805 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:09:35 +0000 chopsuey 357805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh's parents are retired and have more in savings/investments than we probably ever will. They won't need our help in the future.<br /> My parents are good too and won't need our help either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357803 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:09:19 +0000 kml636 357803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thankfully, my parents don't need my help, and I don't think my IL's do either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-or-will-you-be-taking-care-of-your-parents-andor-in-laws-financially#post-357778 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:03:29 +0000 loveisstrange 357778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We probably will not have to make major financial contributions to anyone. My ILs ae both, sadly, deceased and my parents have savings, 401K, pension and SS to fall back on when they retire. </p>