https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 11:00:04 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-404276 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 18:54:23 +0000 BelugaBean 404276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with other posters about not believing in nipple confusion. I didn't give her a bottle from around 5 weeks until around 8. It was a nightmare to get her to take one again and we're still working on it a bit.</p> <p>As far as letting people hold her, I let them. The first few weeks were stressful and on top of the usual stress, my FIL passed away. Holding her made everyone a bit happier plus it gave me a break to breathe and eat. For reference, she was 2.5 weeks old when he passed away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-404263 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 18:30:03 +0000 yoursilverlining 404263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was not and am not possessive. Holding babies makes so many people happy, and from the start LO has loved seeing new faces (especially smiling ones!) so I feel like it's a win-win. It makes me happy to see people happy to interact with my baby; and it makes LO happy to see lots of smiling happy faces cooing at her. :)</p> <p>I brought her into my work within her first month and we had a lot of visitors; if they wanted to hold LO, I'd let them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-404256 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 18:22:23 +0000 SugarplumsMom 404256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Reading your post reminds me of how I used to feel. I lamented over bottles, nipples nipple confusion, visitors, organic cotton - all of it. It all went out the window as soon as she was born! Now I'm not saying you'll suddenly change your mind about any or all of this, but when the baby comes, you won't have time to think about most of it. </p> <p>But I did wait until she had her shots before taking her to public areas. I even waited to see a friend (with toddlers) until then, just to be sure. But the breastfeeding stuff, man ... for me, that changed completely! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-404251 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 18:08:23 +0000 Amelieisme 404251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not possessive exactly but I wouldn't pass my 1week old around to a bunch of coworkers! I'd be afraid he would catch something. I did let some family visit and took him out in public but wouldn't have wanted people other than family touching him.</p> <p>As far as BF'ing, I did EBF until he wasn't gaining well. Then I added supplemental pumped milk by bottle at around 2 weeks. I gave him a little after he breastfed. My advice would be to go ahead and pump from early on to get your supply up, even if you save it for later. It takes a while to build a stash when you are EBF'ing. If you have your heart set on breastmilk only, it's nice to have a stash so it is less stressful when you go back to work if you have a little trouble incorporating pumping into your schedule. It took me 6 weeks to build a 75 oz stash before I returned to work when he was 8 weeks old. </p> <p>As far as introducing a bottle, we use the Medela Calma and have had no issues. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-404107 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 14:59:52 +0000 Honeybee 404107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was more possessive the first time around. I didnt let anyone else feed DD, I never passed her around, and the first time anyone besides me put her to bed for the night (it was DH) wasn't until 9 months. But I've been a lot more relaxed with #2 and I think he's way more attached to me than DD ever was! DS is really social so I've passed him around from an early age; I think he enjoys other people so much it would be kind of mean for me to force him to be with me. Despite that, DS is very much on Team Mommy and everyone always comments on what a momma's boy he is. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403776 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 08:52:02 +0000 meredithNYC 403776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's good to have a plan when thinking about life with a newborn though, as others have said, a lot of times baby has his/her own plan and it's often the opposite of what we have decided on.</p> <p>I was 100% certain that breastfeeding would work for us and it didn't. Without going into too many details, my supply was terribly low and constant pumping did nothing to help it. So, at 2.5 months I had to switch to formula. I hope it's different from you and it seems likely that it will be (given that I know so few people who have this issue), but just know that no matter how it works out, you and your husband will do what's best for your LO.</p> <p>As for being attached to LO, the early days (for me) were a blur of constant breastfeeding, so I was more than happy to hand her off to my mother or MIL. Like @Lozza said, now that she's older and more fun, I'm finding it more difficult! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403771 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 08:40:55 +0000 pastemoo 403771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was not possessive (thought I would be) and I started pumping really early on to build up a stash for work (but then didn't go back after all that).<br /> He used to get a bottle or two every day so daddy could feed him and mommy could get a little sleep!</p> <p>In regards to others holding my baby--I need the break! Eventually I want him back but I like having help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403730 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 07:33:29 +0000 sorrycharlie 403730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm also a hover mom. The first few weeks I really didn't love having people over to hold her nonstop and wanted to enjoy as much of the early days as I could. Now that she's 7 weeks I'm a little better but still not leaving her for a long time.</p> <p>She's had a pacifier since the first week as well as a bottle of expressed milk. I don't give her a bottle with any regularity, only if I happened to have pumped because she slept through a feed. She goes from paci to bottle to breast without any issues whatsoever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403700 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 06:13:15 +0000 mediagirl 403700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved holding our newborn and breathing in her amazing scent when she was first born. I was nervous about anyone else holding her. I was hover mom when she was first born. Now I'm a little better about it but I do like to make sure I get my mommy-daughter time when we're around a lot of family who want to hold her. </p> <p>We had breastfeeding issues at the beginning and introduced a bottle at 2 weeks. I also pumped exclusively for a month of my maternity leave. She went from bottle to boob like a champ. :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403697 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 06:06:54 +0000 Lozza 403697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was zero possessive when LO was a newborn.... I spent half the day with him attached to my boob, so I was more than happy to pass him off to others!<br /> (Though now I wish I'd done a little less of that and gotten to enjoy more of his non-feeding, non-fussy periods... he spent SO much time BFing that pretty much whenever he wasn't eating, I handed him off to someone else because I really needed those breaks, but it also meant that I never got to just enjoy him. Oh well).<br /> I got a lot more possessive of him starting around 6-7 months, when he actually got fun to be around.<br /> It's your call re: using bottles at all before going back to work (our lactation consultant told us to do a bottle a day from the very beginning, and it worked well for us), but I just wanted to say that even if you don't expect to give any bottles, I'd really suggest starting to pump as early as possible to build up your supply. I started pumping right away (I'd pump a little bit after several feedings throughout the day), and by the time I went back to work I had a pretty nice freezer stash, and my boobs were used to producing extra so I had really productive pumping sessions at work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403690 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 05:57:12 +0000 lomom 403690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our plan for daycare is for LO to be a five minute walk from my office, so that I'll have the option to walk over and nurse. I intend to walk over as much as possible but I realize being there for each feeding is unrealistic and LO may not want to feed when I have the time to go over. This is where bottles will come into play, but I'm not introducing bottles in the early days. I will properly prepare LO for my return to work and taking a bottle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403641 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 01:53:56 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 403641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It would be a real bummer if LO refused to take an artificial nipple once you went back to work. That would be a nightmare for you, your baby, and the daycare provider! My LO is six months old and STILL refuses a bottle. It is really hard. Highly rrecommend introducing one earlier so you do not run into this.</p> <p>And about the possessive thing, I totally understand that. I didn't like passing my baby around at first. I still don't (although I do it anyway so family can enjoy her). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403592 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 00:13:25 +0000 pinkcupcake 403592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I echo @caffeinated: and@MamaMoose. I breast fed and, due to supply and latch issues, supplemented for the first two weeks or so. We used a syringe to avoid nipple confusion and introduced one bottle a day of pumped breast milk starting in week three to get her used to the bottle before I returned to work. All seemed well so I started getting lazy and quit giving her bottles...and it was a total nightmare when I went back to work. Baby girl refused to take a bottle and would pretty much starve all day until I was able to nurse her. Can't even begin to tell you how much it stressed me out!! Thankfully I was able to nurse her during lunch so she ate at least once during the day :( I ended up quitting after two months to be a sahm so luckily I didn't have to deal with it for too long, but it was so stressful! I wish I would've been more diligent about giving her bottles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403581 Sat, 17 Nov 2012 00:02:00 +0000 glimmersnaps 403581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom and dad could only stay for a week and I wish they could have stayed much longer. MIL came for a month. I do think I was possessive to some extent. Letting people hold him for a couple of minutes didn't bother me though. </p> <p>I didn't plan to go to work so I never really pursued pumping or bottles. I had some but really never used them. DS hated them and pacifiers and since it wasn't necessary I didn't push it. My SIL has two daughters and she works. The older one she stayed home with for a while and she had no problem switching back and forth from boob to bottle. With her second she went back to work at like 5 weeks and she is now rejecting the boob for the bottle. I think it just depends on the situation and the child. I do think that if a baby is in daycare and the bottle is the only source of nourishment they will eventually take it. For SAHMs it's less likely they will take it unless the bottle is introduced early. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403401 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:58:39 +0000 sarac 403401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I applaud your choice to not buy bottles and expect to need them. So many women just go into it fearing the worst. Unless you live way out in the country, there are stores that sell them, and you can buy them when you need them. </p> <p>I had a nicu baby who wouldn't nurse at first, and I had to pump and feed her breastmilk in bottles for her first five days. Once we got breastfeeding established, I thought, hey, I'm pumping, bottles are cool, let's do one feeding with them at night. Massive nipple confusion ensued, and it made breastfeeding miserable. All the bottles went right into the trash. Nipples confusion is real, especially at first. Far better to establish breastfeeding and wait a month or two on the bottles if at all possible.</p> <p>I was not overly possessive of my baby, but I fully understand the desire to be. Make yourself comfortable! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403389 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:50:31 +0000 Mrs.M57 403389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll echo pps on having bottles. We had problems with bf while waiting for my milk to come in, the first couple days and without pumped bottles I would have had a breakdown. Plus we found out early on my daughter has vitamin deficiency and initially had to take a supplement in her bottle. Not meant to worry you, because honestly now at 6 months my babe will only take boob! I wish she would at least take 1 bottle so my hubby could help with night wakings! We even gave her pacifiers in the beginning and had no issue. As for the passing her around, i always did and still do, but she definitely prefers to be with me and I know we have a very strong bond! But I totally understand wanting to get as much time bonding as you can, I already miss those precious newborn days, holding cuddling and watch them sleep, so sweet but so short! Enjoy every single second! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403382 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:40:52 +0000 MamaMoose 403382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: It's much more common for babies to reject the bottle than the breast so I would just make sure you start with ample transition time before day care. I would hate for you to be in a situation where you have to go back to work and you have a baby who refuses to eat from a bottle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403376 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:28:32 +0000 lomom 403376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The way I see it, someone can always go get bottles if need be, I'd just prefer to give it my all in the beginning. If things don't go as planned, I would never sacrifice my LO's well-being, I'd grab bottles immediately. But, my plan is to exclusively breastfeed because I believe nipple confusion is a real issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403364 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:19:22 +0000 mrsjazz 403364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am possessive of her, but I can pass her around now because I know she wants mama. I breastfeed, but we had to supplement in the beginning because of major latch issues--I would say you should have a bottle on hand just in case! No nipple confusion here, LO prefers her milk from the source and she has 3 bottles regularly M-F while I'm at work.</p> <p>But yes, bonding with you and your DH sounds so great in the beginning--I kind of wish we had more of that. I also don't like LO crying for extended periods of time, so sometimes when someone takes her she cries, one of my friends just wanted to keep on holding her and didn't give LO back even though she was crying and trying to get away. I basically had to snatch my baby back! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403356 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:15:39 +0000 Mrs. Train 403356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was not possessive. I have four kids and have had very different birth/bring baby home experiences. Each one of them I am equally bonded to and nothing could change that likewise they are very clearly bonded to me as their mother.</p> <p>My oldest was adopted I brought him home from the hospital at four days and he was bottle feed.</p> <p>I was separated for a few hours from my twins because my blood pressure tanked in the middle of my c section and they had to give me some heavy duty drugs so I needed to recover. After that they were breastfeed with supplemented bottles</p> <p>My daughter I had in recovery with me right after she was cleaned and weighed. Se has been exclusively breastfeed and has never had a bottle at 13 months. </p> <p>Each one is very different and very much bonded. We also had lots of visitors and I didn't mind at all. </p> <p>In the end you will do what you want and what you feel is best for your family. but trust me no matter what happens or who is around you and your husband will absolutely bond with your baby and your baby will bond with you. No matter how many people held my children they always knew who mommy was. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403352 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:12:06 +0000 mrstilly 403352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was totally possessive of DS. He was MINE an that was that. I don't care, nor did I then, what others thought. I loved him, loved nursing him, holding him, and staring at him. I knew he'd be going to day care and I wanted to soak in all of the newborn phase that I could. It was so fleeting and I still miss it. I wish I could go back some days and feel DS's small newborn weight in my arms. </p> <p>Do what you feel comfortable and don't worry about anyone else. This is your baby. Don't feel guilty. Just love your LO and soak it all in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403346 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:08:17 +0000 HLK208 403346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm only possessive of her with people I don't like (some of DH's family). I bought bottles just in case, I needed to get out of the house by myself by 3-4 weeks pp. I really don't think nipple confusion is a real thing! DD likes breastfeeding over bottles any day and actually rejects the bottle often. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403341 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:04:15 +0000 autumnlove 403341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not possessive at all and my LO started with bottles of formula early because my milk didn't come in for 9 days. She never had trouble switching between boob and bottle!</p> <p>You and your DH will do what is right for your family! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403339 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 19:01:47 +0000 Freckles 403339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a little possessive in that i didnt want my MIL and mom to always have the baby when they were staying with us. i think things will change once you have the baby, but i understand wanting time in the beginning to bond.</p> <p>Seriously though, i disagree with the whole nipple confusion bit. My LO had the bottle when we supplemented with formula in the beginning, and she still preferred the boob. Many friends regret not introducing the bottle early on because now at 3 -4 months they will refuse the bottle! Babies will always prefer the boob snd i dont think 1 bottle a day will hurt...plus it will allow your husband to bond with the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403332 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 18:58:21 +0000 loveisstrange 403332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Um... Yeah, I definitely let people take her. I was happy for the break. </p> <p>Also... Id probably buy at least a couple of bottles. We had BFing issues and needed bottles. I had been so set on BFing before she was born that I hadnt bought any. I had to place a panicked call to a friend to please stop and buy some for us and meet us at home when we got released from the hospital. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-403321 Fri, 16 Nov 2012 18:44:29 +0000 lomom 403321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Today my coworker brought in her week old baby and passed her around like it was no big deal. I think 8 of us held the baby. I held her for nearly ten minutes! I was telling my mom I'd never let people pass my week old child around! </p> <p>I already feel protective. I don't want to have visitors until we have been home a few weeks, except my parents, but only for a few days.</p> <p>I also plan to exclusively breastfeed, no pumping until 6-8 weeks, right before I return to work. I'm terrified of nipple confusion and have zero intent of even purchasing bottles prior to my preparation for returning to work. I don't want anyone to feed my baby except me, with breastmilk, from the tap. </p> <p>My mom thinks I'm being unreasonable and overly possessive. I have to put my child in daycare once I return to work, so I want to put off pumping as long as possible and enjoy the bonding experience as long as possible. I've had several friends tell me that once their babies started taking bottles of expressed breastmilk, they refused to nurse. </p> <p>I think my husband and I bonding with the baby first is the most important thing. I'm not telling her she can't visit, I'm just saying that my priority is for my husband and I to bond with the baby and that we're not open to extended visits (i.e. 3+ days) </p>