https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 17 May 2026 08:27:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum/page/2#post-2580370 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 02:56:35 +0000 Amorini 2580370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jackiedavis87: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum/page/2#post-2580291 Sat, 02 Jul 2016 17:04:31 +0000 arosebyany 2580291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm gonna be a real downer on this post lol. I have cut all ties with my mother, and haven't spoken to her in 2ish years. My mother is an alcoholic, who at 50yo has a mental capacity of a 15 year old. Right now my great grandmother (who is 94) takes care of her, but I assume she'll need to be put in a home at some point. Once I became pregnant it was like a switch flipped in my life and I realized that the things she did to me and my sisters (I'm the oldest) as children were beyond wrong, and I would never put my own child through anything remotely similar. Ive has many years to reflect, and I've gone through all the stages that a child with an alcoholic parent goes through. The end result being cutting ties when the person refuses to receive help. The only part that bothers me anymore is she'll never know her grandson. And one day mommy is going to have to answer the question of why doesn't mommy have a mommy, like daddy does? I know that all sounds sad and terrible and I'm sorry to bring the post down.</p> <p> so on a happier note, me and my MIL are super close. Me and DH have been together since I was a sophomore so I've practically lived with her most of my life. She is who I look to to represent what a mother should be. She is the most caring person I know and would do anything for her kids and grand kids. I love her a lot ❤️😊. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum/page/2#post-2580286 Sat, 02 Jul 2016 16:35:24 +0000 catomd00 2580286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: hugs. I was attached to my moms hip as a toddler. And now I am on the verge of cutting all ties. It's so very sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum/page/2#post-2580210 Sat, 02 Jul 2016 11:56:47 +0000 PeaceLily 2580210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm very close to my mom and talk to her almost everyday. As a kid I was attached to her hip all the time, but once I got a little older and was a preteen and teen we started fighting more just cause of my awful teen attitude. As I got older we stopped arguing so much and are very close. I'm comfortable talking to her about anything going on in my life and both her and my dad have always been so supportive, I'm very lucky to have a such a close family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum/page/2#post-2580165 Sat, 02 Jul 2016 10:02:54 +0000 Mama Bird 2580165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have what feels like a slightly distant friendship. It's very sad for me, but I don't think I can, or should, change the way I feel. We're too different and have very different expectations about what being a parent means, and the less I expect, the less I feel resentful. </p> <p>Ugh... My parents tell me that I would cry for her when I was five months old, she must have been my world and my comfort, and now we've ended up with this relationship... I look at my own little girl and hope that we're not doomed to the same story. She deserves better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum/page/2#post-2580114 Sat, 02 Jul 2016 06:24:45 +0000 MrsSRS 2580114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: Yes to the non-judgmental support. My mom would have responded similarly.<br /> Also, there were no taboo topics growing up. So I could talk to her about sex, deinking, whatever.<br /> We talk or text most days now and when we had kids we moved back home so we live about ten minutes apart. I see her most weeks, sometimes more than once. My kids adore her. When we got pregnant with our second baby my husband informed me that he needed my mom there again for support and that he wouldn't have made it through my first labor without her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum/page/2#post-2580112 Sat, 02 Jul 2016 06:19:27 +0000 MrsSRS 2580112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom and I are close. Some of that is because she was a single gle mom until I was in grade school. So it was just us! Some of it is because my sisters were so much younger than me that we worked together as a team. I did a lot of cooking and carpooling in high school.<br /> It's hard to pinpoint something that she did that made our relationship solid, be a use a lot of it was that us against the world mentality. I never felt judged by her. I always felt like she listened to me. My family is very snuggly and huggy so I never felt too old for a cuddle with my mom. As a child she didn't try to be my friend. That makes a big difference. I knew she was the grown up and would take care of me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum/page/2#post-2580082 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 21:43:36 +0000 Mrs Panda 2580082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: just read your post above and our situations sound very similar. Hugs to you as well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2580057 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 20:06:36 +0000 catomd00 2580057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs Panda: hugs I'm in the same boat as you. It's so so hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579986 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 16:55:54 +0000 Mrs Panda 2579986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom and I have had an up<br /> And down relationship and lately it has been very, very down. I actually don't think it will recover this time. Too many hurtful things have been done and said. I so desparately want to have close relationships with my daughters and I already fear that the older one sees the strain between me and her grandma and it is not setting a good example for a mother-daughter relationship. It relieves me to hear other mention how they have close relationships with their mothers even though (or even because) their mothers did not have the same with their grandmothers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579956 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 15:52:01 +0000 DesertDreams88 2579956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Growing up we weren't very close because she was a very busy working mom aND neither of us put a concerted effort on our mother-daughter relationship. My family did family time as the 4 of us, and that helped lay a groundwork, but there wasn't a lot of focus on the various relationships within the family unit. Then, in my teenage years, she and I had different opinions and we fought over stupid teenage stuff. However, even then, she would drive me to all my concerts and wait for me to get out late at night, she would drive my friends and I to snowboarding mountains 4+ hours away, etc.</p> <p>Now my mom and I are very close. I think this is due to me moving away for college and realizing how much I still needed her and loved her. In college and early marriage I called her almost evey day. Through growing up I understand her so much more and we are able to share about our feelings with each other. I see so much of myself in her, the good and the bad. We also have had some shared life experiences, such as infertility, loving pregnancy, difficult induced labor, working mom, etc.</p> <p>I don't think our close relationship is due to particular intentional moves on her part, but it's moreso just growing up and understanding each other. Sooooo..... even if you don't click during the elementary or teenage years, there's always hope. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579951 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 15:43:00 +0000 Amorini 2579951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom and I are as close as we can be, but far from BFFs. Sadly, she had very troubled upbringing. She does the best she can but has not delved too deeply into those issues through counseling. Due to her emotional instability, I have to keep firm boundaries that amount to a nice, but not very close friendship. It took me a long time to figure all of this out and I'm still figuring out how to manage it. My mom is very generous and she and my dad have fortunately given us a more stable upbringing than what they got. Still there was a lot of "figuring it out on my own" (healthy relationships, healthy boundaries, etc).</p> <p>I love all of the responses of how your moms have cultivated such wonderful relationships with you as children. That sounds so amazing! I truly look forward (and am a little nervous about) doing that -- and breaking the cycle -- with our LO who is on the way! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579948 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 15:40:51 +0000 Cherrybee 2579948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cole: Big, big hugs. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579929 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 15:20:11 +0000 catomd00 2579929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. I thought we were at one point but as I've gotten older and had my own daughters, I have realized how unhealthy our relationship always has been. She's a narcissist. At the moment, I only speak to her when necessary and have directly addressed her with what it would take on her end to have a relationship with me. She has refused to come around at all. I have a drop dead date in my head and if nothing happens by then, I will be ceasing all contact with her. It's really painful but necessary for the health and well being of me and my family. On the bright side, it's made me want to work even harder to be an amazing mom to my girls and to foster a positive, close relationship with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579921 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 15:08:55 +0000 Cole 2579921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I am looking forward to going back and reading the responses but just reading your initial post I was starting to tear up. My mom and I will likely never have anything more than a polite relationship and that's taken a lot of work. I so desperately want to remain close with my daughter and I am terrified I'm going to mess it up. I appreciate you asking and I hope we both find a magic formula. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579902 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 14:31:09 +0000 Bibliolove 2579902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579885 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 14:16:10 +0000 travelgirl1 2579885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmmm, I think I have a lovely mum, now that I am a mum myself I realize what she sacrificed for us. She was very loving and a great parent.</p> <p>But, I wouldn't say we are close. My parents split up when I was 18, the same time I was in an abusive relationship. I lost so much respect for my parents during that time, both how they treated each other and how they treated me. I distanced myself from both of them to pull myself out of the mess I was in and sort myself out.</p> <p>Anyway, while I love my mum very much, I feel like our relationship has never really recovered from that, which was a long time ago. I moved abroad and we weren't in touch often, she wouldn't really contact me if I didn't contact her. Now I'm back and it is lovely to see her more, but it isn't even monthly. She blows a bit hot and cold with my kids too. Sometimes she makes a lot of effort and is a fantastic grandma, truly. Other times she makes comments about not wanting to play with DD (who adores her) and holds my sister's baby but puts mine straight on the floor if I ask her to watch him for two mins.</p> <p>I have a great mum, but I hope to have s better relationship with my kids when they are older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579871 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 13:48:41 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2579871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know. We've not always been friends. We had a really really strained relationship through most of my teens. But my mom has always been a humble parent. Always apologizing when she's wrong. Goes out of her way to understand where I'm coming from even when she doesn't feel the same. Did her best to cultivate an open dialouge. We started getting really close when I moved out and now that I have kids she's definitely one of my closest friends. We see each other once or twice a week. We text once or twice a week with occasional phone calls sprinkled in. I really think that she just did her best, loved me fiercely and free of selfishness and through her own acknowledgement of wrong, made it easy for me to admit when I was wrong too. She also let me have my space. She doesn't interfere with parts of my life that aren't her business and I appreciate that. I hope to be like her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579869 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 13:42:37 +0000 catlady 2579869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before my mom passed away, we were very close. I think it was easy for me to become close to her because she was a kind, gentle person and far more even tempered than my dad, who had a temper when I was a kid. Mom was a refuge when my dad was "in a mood." She was quirky and silly and could usually put me in a good mood. We had some friction when I was a teen, but for most of my life, we got along well. We always liked to go shopping together, we liked to trade books and music, and when I moved to another city for a few years, we kept up by having long phone conversations. </p> <p>My mom had a pretty crappy relationship with her own mom, so I think she tried extra hard to be a good mom to me and my brother. It definitely worked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579864 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 13:31:02 +0000 Trailmix 2579864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am super close to my mom but I don't think she is my 'best friend', I don't talk to her about sex, haha! But we talk every day and text a lot and she is the first one to know anything that's going on in my life. She's amazing, so kind and generous, always gently pushing me but also letting me do my own thing. Super-supportive, super-strong, just an all-around great lady! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579833 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 12:51:02 +0000 winter_wonder 2579833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't say we're close. Honestly, I'm probably closer to my grandma. </p> <p>My mom is so thoughtful and considerate but also really sensitive. Her sensitivity causes her to take a lot of things the wrong way. </p> <p>She also tends to take a lot of decisions that I make as personal criticisms against her (e.g.. She literally lost her shit when I didn't want a baby shower. I explained that I was so superstitious and worried until baby came. She instead took it as me just "trying to be difficult").</p> <p>I have a DD now and want her to feel that even if her decisions and choices are different from my own thats ok. I definitely didn't feel that way growing up (or even today frankly). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579829 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 12:44:35 +0000 Mae 2579829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never said "my mom is my best friend" because I feel like that feels awkward to me and also because she isn't a friend she's my mom. But I think we are very close. But we aren't the type to share like, too many personal details lol. </p> <p>We weren't always super close. I think we were close when I was growing up but high school was sort of rough. It wasn't awful but we definitely fought a LOT. I know that's sort of cliche like yea when you're a teenager you're a bitch and have to fight with your mom-- and I definitely own that at least half of it was me. But also my mom was going through a hard time when I was in high school because her mom died and that really rocked her world. I think she was a bit unnecessarily harsh with me and I was also a brat because..... teenager. </p> <p>We got back to being close when I was in college and especially when my brother had a life threatening illness and we were in constant contact about that for months. </p> <p>Overall though I think the reason we're close at this point is because I respect the way she parented us (we were her world. She would and did do anything for us. She always put us first. She tried to be both firm and fun), and also because my parents are fun to be around. My husband, my friends, anyone who spends time with my parents agrees they are fun and funny to be around and we just genuinely like hanging out with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579820 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 12:38:39 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2579820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I love my mom, but it's better that we live in different continents :silly: We talk on Skype every few days (it used to be every day when I SAH and DD was a baby) because I really wanted DD to know her grandma. There were a few times when our relationship was strained (even through Skype) and I had to set very clear boundaries regarding the amount of time I called - that it was a privilege for her to see DD and not an obligation. My mom is pretty outspoken and outright stubborn, but we've worked it out. </p> <p>My mom isn't very motherly. It used to get to me; whenever I see a really close mother-daughter bond. But through the years, I've learned to accept the mom I got :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579818 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 12:37:02 +0000 MrsRcCar 2579818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Honestly we ended up moving in with my folks for a while. The close proximity really helped repair our relationship. I wasn't not any easy teenager and really pushed everyone away. When we moved into their house we really learned we have similar interests. I love to cook and she loves to cook so we bonded best in the kitchen (even when I was young I loved cooking with her). After that it really just took time. She has been an amazing grandmother to my boys and my boys have helped our bond a lot! I lean on her for support with the boys a lot. We live a distance away now but she is my sounding board for all kinds of things. Ever since we moved away from them she has really helped me navigate this solo parenting thing. She solo parented a lot when I was growing up because my dad worked and went to school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579816 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 12:34:42 +0000 catgirl 2579816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are very close. I do consider her one of my best friends, but is a different friendship than those I have with my peers. We text every day, and talk or FaceTime most days. My parents separated when I was young and I didn't have a relationship with my father during my teen years - I think that really contributed to how close my mom and I were. </p> <p>There was always a clear and known divide that she was the parent and I was the child but since I was always respectful of that we were also able to have a lot of fun together! She would always listen to whatever teen drama I wanted to talk about and never judged, just listened and talked things through with me. Also, she welcomed my friends to our home which made me want to spend more time there. Many of my close friends refer to her as a second mom and still go visit her regularly. </p> <p>She also always lived her own life - made plans with her friends and maintained her hobbies. It made me see her as a person not just a mom, and I liked the person she was (and is)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579792 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 12:05:16 +0000 LindsayLou 2579792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, we are very close. My husband is my best friend, but my mom is a close second. We've always been very close, even when I was a moody, grouchy teenager who picked fights with her. How much we talk and see one another ebbs and flows depending on what we both have going on. We live about two hours away. I try to visit one weekend about every 6 weeks or so, and she usually visits about as often. We text 3 or 4 days a week on average and talk about once a week.</p> <p>There are a lot of things my mom did right that I hope to do with my daughter as well. She always took the time to listen, make sure I felt heard, and was always there and not judging if I needed to talk. She always told my brothers and I that if we were ever having a hard time or in a tricky situation, she wanted us to come to her. She made a big effort to continue parenting and be involved in our lives after we were growing up. She did a great job of having one on one time with all 3 of us. Both of my parents always had and enforced rules, but they also didn't try to be controlling. They treated us as equals. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579630 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 09:08:56 +0000 looch 2579630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think as with any relationship, it ebbs and flows. I wasn't particularly close with either parent growing up, especially as a teen. If there was a problem with a friend, for example, I dealt with it by keeping it inside and making the outward appearance positive.</p> <p>I think my mom and I got closer when I moved away and when I became a mother myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579623 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 09:00:04 +0000 nana87 2579623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom and I are very close, though I think she prob thinks we're closer than I do-- in part because as I've gotten older (especially after her own parents passed away), she's used me more as a sounding board/person to vent to /friend than her daughter, if that makes sense. Shes gotten worse at listening as I've become an adult-- like when I was pregnant, I had some potential complications (everything turned out fine) and she actually said "I want to talk about your issues, but first I need to talk about me..." :shocked: dh has noticed that when we talk on the phone, I barely end up talking. I think as I became a mother, I've lost patience with being her mother emotionally too, if that makes sense. With logistics she always tries to still take care of me though, like whenever she's over she does dishes, etc. she just isn't good at really listening anymore</p> <p>But growing up, She was very good at listening and letting me cultivate my own person while still being available to me at the same time. Like, she'd encourage me to have my own personal life but always want to go to the movies with me if I didn't have plans </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579621 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 08:55:38 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2579621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: my mom has two friends that always cause her a headache. She knows this yet always puts herself in a situation to see if this time will be different. It's exhausting to hear the "new" thing. Can you believe so and so did this?! Yep, sure can. Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-you-very-close-to-your-mum#post-2579619 Fri, 01 Jul 2016 08:55:17 +0000 littlebug 2579619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, very. My mom traveled a lot for work when we were kids, but she always made sure she was there for our big events and when she was in town she gave us her undivided attention. Like others have said, family meals were important in our house. She always tried to make me see the other side of fights with my friends, which, growing up made me SO MAD (why wouldn't she just take my side?) but now I realize she was teaching me empathy. I could always and now do always go to her about anything. I know she will listen and not judge. She helps me work through it rather than just giving me advice. </p> <p>She's incredible, and if I'm even half the mother she was, I'll consider myself a success. :heart: </p>