https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 28 May 2026 01:35:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-your-children-strong-willed#post-2372502 Sun, 29 Nov 2015 22:35:15 +0000 hilsy85 2372502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Oxana: Interesting perspective--I onlyvwosh it were so easy that being strict always causes your child to realiZe it's not worth the fight! :silly: I think it ultimately depends on the child's personality (other personality factors than being strong willed--how sensitive/emotional they are, independence level, how they approach and explore the world, etc.). </p> <p>My LO is strong willed and not a parent pleaser either much of the time--he has his own agenda a lot of the time and we have to use a lot of reverse psychology on him, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-your-children-strong-willed#post-2372500 Sun, 29 Nov 2015 22:30:44 +0000 Greentea 2372500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really! Passionate, though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-your-children-strong-willed#post-2372492 Sun, 29 Nov 2015 22:19:44 +0000 autumnlove 2372492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My middle LO is very strong willed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-your-children-strong-willed#post-2372491 Sun, 29 Nov 2015 22:18:46 +0000 LuLu Mom 2372491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest is extremely strong willed and it can be exhausting. She's so bright but very intense and opinionated. My second daughter is so far easy going, I truly believe that God only gives us what we can handle which is why my baby is a breeze </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-your-children-strong-willed#post-2372463 Sun, 29 Nov 2015 21:50:36 +0000 Oxana 2372463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's a great question. I think it's so subjective, and I see two things at play...</p> <p>How strong-willed is his or her nature?<br /> How often is the child permitted act on their self-will?</p> <p>So, let's say you have two families. The Smith Family and the Jones Family each have a child who is about average of the spectrum of stubbornness (what that means or how that's measured exactly we'll ignore for the sake of simplicity). So they're equal in regard to question 1.</p> <p>The Smiths will tell you that they're pretty laid back in terms of discipline. They believe in redirecting kids when they can, and they choose their battles when the child puts up a fight. This child is used to exerting his will to get his way a fair amount of the time. To an outside observer, the Smith child seems like he is VERY strong willed (much more than average).</p> <p>The Jones Family tells you that they believe in teaching children self-control through discipline. The Jones child learned from an early age that rather than choosing their battles, his parents make practically every hill one they will die on--the Jones kid realizes that exerting his will in opposition to his parents is not only ineffective, it spells more suffering for him in the end. It's just not worth it. To an casual observer, the Jones child seems extremely mellow (less strong willed than average).</p> <p>I think both the nature of the child and the parenting style of the parents play off each other. But even as the parent of my own kid, it's hard for me to sort out how much is due to my parenting style and how much is due the nature she was born with. We're disciplinarians, and I will say that it's irritating to me when people assume that we are just the luckiest parents on earth because we have such a laid back child. I don't want to take 100% credit when nature is also at play, but because I've seen her at her worst, I know that she has a will and that if we let her, she'd be more of a terror than she currently is. I think some people think, "They have such a lovely child, they really don't need to be so strict with her," when the reality is that being strict with her is what makes her so laid back and happy. The times we haven't been strict (because of one of us being sick or stressed, etc.) her behavior has spiraled downward. Maybe a child who was less strong willed could deal with that better, I don't know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-your-children-strong-willed#post-2372457 Sun, 29 Nov 2015 21:46:13 +0000 runnerd 2372457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh yes. As a FTM, I wasn't sure for a long time if I just got overwhelmed, didn't know what I was doing, etc., but I now know he feels all his feelings to their fullest! It's the best when he is happy, the worst when he isn't. Other people (friends with kids, daycare workers, etc) find polite ways of reaffirming to me that he is more intense than their children! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-your-children-strong-willed#post-2372454 Sun, 29 Nov 2015 21:39:12 +0000 creativemomma15 2372454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: Yup... DS is strong willed and gets his mind stuck on things easily. He will wake up in the morning with a plan for the day and it's hard to fight that. It's been easier now that he is understanding days of the week better. But, I definitely can relate to the feeling emotion in a big way. He is a great little boy, but those strong willed moments and fights are exhausting and can just push me to the edge. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-your-children-strong-willed#post-2372449 Sun, 29 Nov 2015 21:34:55 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2372449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I don't feel my child is strong-willed. As a former nanny/child care provider, I had a pretty good idea of strong-willed versus more laid-back kids. My kid is definitely more laid back. He has his moments, sure. He has tantrums, but they're fairly easily diffused. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/are-your-children-strong-willed#post-2372442 Sun, 29 Nov 2015 21:25:17 +0000 winniebee 2372442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS1 is very strong willed. He is an intense kid and feels every emotion in a big way. Does not seek to please his parents....but is apparently a dream at school! Parenting him is very exhausting, but very rewarding. Our DS2 seems more mellow so far, though. It makes me wonder if every parent feels this way to some extent, that their child is strong willed. </p> <p>Is your LO strong willed? </p>