https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 22:25:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1161775 Sun, 20 Oct 2013 11:47:04 +0000 mrsjazz 1161775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TurtleDoves: Yeah. I used to want to be a teacher until I married one and saw how much work he does at home. It's pretty crazy. But he needs to learn how to strike a balance--sometimes family needs to come first, even when that messes with the schedule. And his school knows him and knows he never takes days, so it's not like he would be in trouble. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1161768 Sun, 20 Oct 2013 11:42:31 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1161768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: For what its worth, my mom is a high school teacher and she is actually the curriculum coordinator, so she is so heavily involved in her job. Even when she does have days off, she still makes calls and checks email. It was always a little bit of an issue to get her take days off for ANYTHING because she always felt like she was "abandoning" her students when she did and she never felt like a sub could do the job as well as she could, so getting her to take a day off was always a PITA. I think teaching is def one of those jobs that "goes home with you". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1161733 Sun, 20 Oct 2013 10:55:21 +0000 mrsjazz 1161733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: He really doesn't like to leave his kids in the hands of a sub. But also he gets perfect attendance awards, haha. I know his principal would understand, she's a working mother.</p> <p>@TurtleDoves: Luckily LO woke up and was much better. Our nanny said that LO seemed fine besides the runny nose. DH got lucky this time. </p> <p>I know that my boss would be okay with me taking off but I only have 6 sick days and I would also prefer to get through my probationary period with no days off. We haven't talked about this since Monday but we do need to be on the same page. But this is the major issue of our relationship, his students/work vs. family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1161700 Sun, 20 Oct 2013 10:21:17 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1161700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, my benefits re: sick days are pretty abysmal. But DH gets I think 10 sick days. So he has taken off, it just works better for us. </p> <p>Thankfully we have only been in this situation once, when our nanny was really sick with the flu and couldn't come to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1161673 Sun, 20 Oct 2013 09:48:27 +0000 cascademom 1161673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last week's croup Tuesday had both of us working from home with a sick LO. These are the moments I like the flexibility of where I work. We were able to get him to the doctor, meds, and still work during naps. The next day I worked from home and caught up on chores, etc. Usually, I'd take PTO, but didn't need to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1160990 Sat, 19 Oct 2013 16:29:02 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1160990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: update?<br /> I honestly thought teachers had a good number of days off, yes? And it's a use it or lose it type deal. So, yeah, he needed to take the day off. I will probably ALWAYS be the one to take a day off once I do get into the work field because of the nature of my job (very flexible). So if DH refused to take a day off, I'd understand that because I am more in a position to do so than he is. In your case: you are in no position to take days off :/ while, arguably, he is.</p> <p>In your case, that day: maybe sending her to the nanny wasn't too bad because the other child was sick too. But, then again, when 1 nanny divides her time between 2 sick toddlers, someone is going to get the short end of the stick at some point :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1160984 Sat, 19 Oct 2013 16:24:09 +0000 Anagram 1160984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: just coming back to this. You need to have a talk with him. Principles are very used to dealing w child illness because MOST teachers, in my experience, have kids. And every teacher I know that's married is the one to take the most days off--- your hubs really needs to suck it up and do it if you are new.</p> <p>What's his reasoning for not using his sick and personal days? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152510 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 09:24:44 +0000 mediagirl 1152510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: totally get that! We kept M home for a week once. Started with a fever but then she was so miserable, we kept her home for that...and then a rash appeared which made us happy we kept her home. No one wants to share roseola!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152503 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 09:23:19 +0000 mrsjazz 1152503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: @littlek: Yeah, I don't normally mind a runny nose or a cough--she was just so miserable last night that I thought if she was still that way in the morning we'd need to keep her home. For our nanny share we have a policy, no diarrhea, no fever.</p> <p>@littlek: If DH made a lot more than me perhaps I'd be a little more forgiving. But he doesn't! He's a teacher! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152487 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 09:17:10 +0000 littlek 1152487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @mediagirl. I send LO to daycare with a runny nose. However, if he has a fever or is just very clingy and upset, I stay home with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152480 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 09:14:53 +0000 mediagirl 1152480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If the baby is just sick, we send her. If she has a fever, one person stays home. For the most part, in her first year, my husband stayed home. I had no PTO left after maternity leave so, I had to take unpaid leave if I took off. </p> <p>If the baby was too sick to go (clingy, whiny, really miserable) we would keep her home and he would again stay home with her. </p> <p>My thought is, my kid isn't the first sick kid to ever go to daycare and you can't keep a kid home just because they're "sick" or you'll never go to work.</p> <p>In your case with the new job, I say it's up to your husband to stay home if the baby is too sick to go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152476 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 09:13:31 +0000 littlek 1152476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: My DH is the same way. It really hurts my career that he's inflexbile, but he makes way more than I do, so it's hard for me to get too upset. When I got my current job, I laid out the facts and circumstances relating to LO and that I was the primary caregiver, etc. I understand why you would be frustrated. Hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152376 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 08:37:07 +0000 ShootingStar 1152376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO isn't here yet, but with a dog and a house we have occasions where this comes up for us too. We're lucky that we can work from home, but neither of us likes to do it too often. When someone needs to be at home for the day, we just have a discussion and see who can do it - did one of us just work from home recently? Do either of us have any important meetings that we need to be in the office for? And we've both started new jobs in the past year, so we take that into consideration too, that we need to balance it between us so that we don't look bad as new employees.</p> <p>Personally, with a new job I would want DH to take on the responsibility for staying home for at least a couple months, especially if he's never done it before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152369 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 08:35:44 +0000 mrsjazz 1152369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: She's better. No fever, runny nose and cough. She barely slept last night, I guess that will make things easier for our nanny.We sent her to the share so it all worked out for him. I'm still upset with DH though because staying home wasn't even an option he entertained. I also do all doctor's appointments.</p> <p>ETA: LO wasn't awake when we had the conversation. We were talking about if she was still miserable when she woke up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152307 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 08:21:45 +0000 littlek 1152307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: How bad is the cold? Fever? Runny nose? LO very uncomfortable? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152293 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 08:17:25 +0000 autumnlove 1152293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I take off the majority of the time because DH has no flexibility. He does watch LOs a lot when he doesn't work during the week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152284 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 08:15:23 +0000 blackbird 1152284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We take turns. I don't think it's right for one person to bear the brunt of depleted sick days! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152283 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 08:14:59 +0000 MrsH 1152283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH just took one job offer over another so he'd be able to help more/take off work if LO was sick. </p> <p>With you starting a new job I'd say your DH should take a sick day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152276 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 08:12:43 +0000 MrsRcCar 1152276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>N hasn't really been sick yet but I am always the one to be off for appointments or if he is sick because I have the flexibility in my job. I can work from home if need be. DH on the other hand is an assistant manager at a family restaurant and can't get away as easy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152270 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 08:09:54 +0000 Mrsbells 1152270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: it can be stressful, we would try to alternate but sometimes it was me taking more days off, and then at other times it was DH taking more time off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152212 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 07:31:46 +0000 regberadaisy 1152212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have always take turns taking off when LO is sick. But lately I'm in a bad spot at work so DH has been for about the past month. </p> <p>With you starting a new job I def think DH should be taking off a bulk of the time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152191 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 07:07:50 +0000 mrsjazz 1152191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: He has never taken a sick day at this school. The only time he was out was for a week when LO was born. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152173 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 06:46:48 +0000 Anagram 1152173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a teacher/ librarian too and most days I would be happy to take off if I still had sick days but there are days that I would fight to not miss, like if there was mandatory training that I'd have to make up after work hours later or a big project day in class that a substitute wouldn't really be able to do.</p> <p>But just being a teacher doesn't give him a pass to not ever take a sick day--- many teachers are women and they are tr primary "take sick days" parent. Female teachers make it work all the time, so if it's not a special day at work for him then he should suck it up and get a sub. Of course--- a teacher can't call in last minute or you won't get a sub and that's a good way to make your principal hate you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152148 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 06:26:54 +0000 looch 1152148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We try to alternate, but right now my husband is super busy and I am in a bit of a lull. Both of us can also work from home (in fact, I work remotely 3 days a week anyway). I also prefer if my husband takes the time off because I am hourly and he is salaried.</p> <p>In your situation, I would expect your husband to step up and take the day...you just started! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152146 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 06:22:59 +0000 Adira 1152146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband is pretty busy at work these days so whenever possible, I will stay home with the baby. BUT my husband can also work from home, so if for some reason I felt unable to stay home, he would do it. We try to share the load as much as possible! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-over-taking-off-of-work-when-lo-is-sick#post-1152120 Wed, 16 Oct 2013 05:51:12 +0000 mrsjazz 1152120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How do other parents who work outside the home handle this? I am super annoyed at DH right now. We all have colds, he just started experiencing symptoms but LO and I have felt crappy all weekend. I thought it was getting better but it changed to this nasty cough + congestion. LO took forever to fall asleep and woke up every hour crying. I've dealt with the majority of it but I can't take off because I am at a new job (this is my 4th week). DH thinks we should just send her to the nanny share because he doesn't want to take off because there's a lot going on at work today. He has never taken off when she is sick. With my previous job I always did and I had the sick days to do so but I did tell hum that I can't always be the one who takes off. He doesn't get a free pass just because he's a teacher.</p> <p>So now I don't know what to do. He is not budging. I should also say that the nanny share baby has a cold, too.</p> <p>What would you do? How do you handle sick days? Is it a fair split? </p>