https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 23:31:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106406 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 17:37:32 +0000 gingerbebe 2106406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is 6 months. My son had colic and reflux basically since he was born, hated being swaddled, the 5 S's worked like 40% of the time, and only for like 30 minutes of sleep, and he hates pacifiers. He also runs really hot and likes to thrash around so he hated his RNP, didn't want to cosleep, and didn't like being in the Boba wrap for long periods of time. His witching hours were from 9pm-1am or later. He broke me at 10 weeks by going 10. frigging. days. without sleeping for more than 45 minutes at a time. </p> <p>So basically I had a nervous breakdown. I was the SAH parent and DH was working and I was in tears like every day and really hated life. We switched DS's medication for reflux twice, drove my ped crazy with panicked calls, went on a total elimination diet, every colic related product, 2 weeks on a hypoallergenic formula - EVERYTHING. He screamed all the time and I got PPA/PPD.</p> <p>DH basically convinced me to try CIO because he said "DS cries every single night. Even on a good night, its still hours of crying. You can either try to keep carrying him and bouncing him while he cries, or we can try to teach him to sleep since he's going to cry anyway. Either way he's gonna scream and one way might get you more rest because you're falling apart."</p> <p>Long story short, it was rough for like a week or two but eventually DS learned to go to sleep and I learned to get used to listening to him cry as I left the room. DS's colic and reflux resolved after 4 months but since he knew how to sleep his 4 month regression wasn't as bad as many people I know. </p> <p>I thought I would never ever sleep again but now I actually have a decent sleeping kid and I am doing so much better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106402 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 17:31:57 +0000 Mrs.Lilac 2106402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another mama told me to get an exercise ball today so I might try that. It would beat walking around and bouncing her. </p> <p>I have tried an earlier bedtime but she always wakes as if it were a nap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106386 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 17:15:14 +0000 Bubbles 2106386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Lilac: I know what you mean, it's not easy to digest and it doesnt give you steps to follow. For us it basically meant I would bounce him to sleep while holding him (in the same way as if he was in the sling), and then VERY slowly lower him into the cot once he was sleeping. Then over time I would put him down earlier and earlier in the process.<br /> I agree with pp though, you've gotta look after you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106342 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 16:19:32 +0000 winniebee 2106342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I've mentioned healthy sleep habits happy child before. It's a great book and you don't have to read the whole thing at one. Just the chapters that pertain to the age of your child. </p> <p>Have you tried a super early bedtime liked 530/6? Never worked for my first but many swear by it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106336 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 16:14:35 +0000 Mrs.Lilac 2106336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: thanks for suggestion of 5 s's. she hates being swaddled now and also seems to hate White noise. She does take a paci but I have to replay it frequently and she will only take it ido she is in the sling and not upset!!</p> <p>@MrsRcCar: yes I'm home and he is at work. I text him today to say that she hadn't napped ALL DAY and he came home saying enough is enough and that we have to sleep train :( ultimately it is up to me though. </p> <p>@Bubbles: thanks, colic is hell, I'm trying to survive it sane. I have read the NCSS but I don't really 'get it'. I tried to read it again the other day but I'm so sleep deprived I don't really know how to implement it... Il have another look.</p> <p>@Mae: i keep thinking il give it a few more weeks and see how we get on but this regression is killer. Still think I need to wait a little longer maybe. Glad your lo is sleeping well now! Gives me hope</p> <p>. @LuLu Mom: I always thought CIO was so cruel and couldn't u sweat and why anyone would do it but now I'm in the thick of it all, it's becoming more and more appealing. </p> <p>Ugh I just don't know... I don't want to mentally scar her and I keep reading all these things about how bad it is for babies to cry but surely it's worse for them not to cry! Anyway thanks for the responses. It really helps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106305 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 15:54:19 +0000 LuLu Mom 2106305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with PP, you have to think of you right now, and if that means giving CIO/sleep training a try then give it a go. I had a decent sleeper, but my niece was a bear at nights. finally they did CIO even though they were against it, but they were struggling majorly, after 3 nights she was a 8 hour a night sleeper. It's hard, my SIL cried every time my niece did, they had my BIL did the checks because he was the "stronger" one and knew he could comfort without picking up, and it worked. So, they were a never family who turned into a never say never family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106281 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 15:35:54 +0000 winniebee 2106281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.Lilac: just moved it for you :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106277 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 15:33:47 +0000 Mae 2106277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a few thoughts. First it makes sense to me that your LO was doing better and now is doing a bit worse. The 4 month keep regression is real and it is a bitch. I have no idea about whether sleep training works better/worse/the same during a regression so you might have to research that or see what others have to say... although I know that some people do sleep train as early as 3-4 months. My ped recommended it at 4 months to me but I was not desperate enough yet (she recommended what your husband wants to do, the staying in the room comforting but not picking up). </p> <p>As for what you should do--- whatever you can live with and whatever you need to do to survive! I was sort of against sleep training because its horrible to listen to and I felt horrible and it felt so entirely REASONABLE to me that my baby would want me. Like biologically, it makes sense that she wanted to feel safe and secure with her mom while she slept. So I resisted for months, despite pleading from my husband. </p> <p>Then at 6 months she stopped letting me set her down at night. It took 4 or 5 nights of my being up with her all night long because she just wanted me to sit up and rock her while she slept before I broke and just could. not. do it anymore. I felt like she was better off with a sane healthy mom, even if that meant sleep training. So we did (we used ferber because i felt like that would work better for our LO) and it did totally work and now life is way better because I'm well rested and so is she! And I sort of feel like sleep training is just another one of those things that babies need for their health sometimes. Like she cries when she gets shots but she has to have them. And she cries when she is pissed off at being strapped into her car seat but she has to be in it to stay safe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106276 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 15:30:54 +0000 Bubbles 2106276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sending lots of hugs, colic is so, so tough. I have been there with the sling, I can remember that feeling of having to jump up and bounce around each time they stirred! If you aren't keen on traditional sleep training I would reccommend the book No Cry Sleep Solution - I used this successfully with DS at 5 months to move from napping in the sling to in the cot. It wasn't a quick solution though. Hang in there mama, it gets easier :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106269 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 15:28:05 +0000 MrsRcCar 2106269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are you home all day? And he is at work? DH defers to me for sleep choices. I am home all day and spend all this time with the kids. We aren't a CIO family (not that I think it's bad but I just can't do it.) Talk to your Dh and explain the issue. Perhaps he doesn't see it all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106262 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 15:24:49 +0000 kiddosc 2106262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh! That's really hard. We tried to do some cry it out around 4 months, but he wasn't really ready. We used the Ferber method with checks at predetermined intervals. At the end, he was much better about going down at night, but still woke frequently.</p> <p> We still depended heavily on the swing at that point. Do you have one? Does she like it? I would suggest the 5 S's from the happiest baby on the block too. <a href="http://www.babycenter.com/0_harvey-karps-happiest-baby-method-for-baby-sleep-and-soothin_10373838.bc" rel="nofollow">http://www.babycenter.com/0_harvey-karps-happiest-baby-method-for-baby-sleep-and-soothin_10373838.bc</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106253 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 15:20:12 +0000 Mrs.Lilac 2106253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh just seen this is in nap training... Didn't mean it to be in here although it applies to naps too! Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/arguing-with-dh-about-sleep#post-2106250 Thu, 12 Mar 2015 15:18:07 +0000 Mrs.Lilac 2106250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My baby is 16 week and has colic. She used to cry for hours every night and I would walk her around in the sling until she passed out from exhaustion. Now she still needs the sling to get to sleep but she cries much much less, sometimes not at all if I keep moving and she is usually asleep in the sling by 7.30. I know this is a really bad habit but we are in survival mode.</p> <p>My husband now thinks she needs to learn to fall asleep in her crib and that she is just in the habit of using the sling. He is suggesting putting her down and just staying with her, comforting her while she cries, until she falls asleep. I feel like she is still way to young but at the same time something needs to give as I'm an exhausted wreck. She has regressed from falling asleep in sling and me then putting her in her cot to now me having to keep her in the sling all night until I go to bed as she wakes very often crying and I have to jump up and bounce her back to sleep and if I even try to put her in the cot she screams so we have started co sleeping. She has also gone from seeping long stretches to waking every hour. It is crazy. She and I are both utterly exhausted as she doesn't nap either. I'm in tears most days from lack of sleep. She is grumpy all day from being overtired. (She doesn't have reflux as her only symptom of colic is crying. She has no problem sleeping flat etc). What should I do?? I'm desperate! Has anyone done something similar with a 4 month old? </p>