https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 19:35:47 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-a-friend-posted-possible-loss-trigger-warning#post-2292828 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 18:31:29 +0000 yoursilverlining 2292828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know what, if anything, is "standard" advice having never been there either, but honestly, the doctor gave them the option and given how clear the author was about not wanting his son to have to undergo resuscitation attempts (which would be pain and likely unsuccessful) or experience any painful medical procedures, it seems a fair option for a doctor to give. It certainly doesn't sound like that's what the doctor advocated for, recommended or insisted on. They all knew that legally, they had a very short window in which they could still legally terminate the pregnancy, and the parents I imagine were pretty adamant and clear that they didn't want their son to be born and suffer. (Given the tone of the article) Given that, it seems a fair option to give. </p> <p>I don't see it described as "the doctor's advice" in the article; at least that isn't how I read it. A lot of people do see termination of a pregnancy vs. knowing your baby will experience great pain with little to no chance of recovery to be a "humane decision".</p> <p>"We speak with our doctor, and are given the option that was previously unthinkable, completely out of bounds of possibility. Our doctor gives us the option — that if we feel this is over, if we have said goodbye, and we are ready to make the decision, that inducing and ending the pregnancy is a humane option. Our doctor, our medical doctor, tells us that it is a “reasonable decision”. Doctor speak, for “yes”. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-a-friend-posted-possible-loss-trigger-warning#post-2292823 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 18:19:27 +0000 DesertDreams88 2292823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I'm really surprised. I mean, it definitely depends on her stage of dilation/shortening cervix. But I can't help but think of my good friend, which was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix at 20 weeks with twins. She was immediately put on hospital bed rest for 20-28 weeks, they sent her home, her water broke at 30 weeks, the babies were born with complications but they are two happy, healthy 6-yr-olds now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-a-friend-posted-possible-loss-trigger-warning#post-2292755 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 17:07:00 +0000 coopsmama 2292755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I get that. But I'm confused because I know of the other women who have been in the EXACT same situation and have never been told to induce if they wanted. That's my question - is that a common thing for a doctor to suggest? I also have to question, if she was able to walk around for 7 days days and not go into labor whether or not she could have carried him for a few more weeks. I wonder about the doctor's advice.</p> <p>ETA - I'm not really posting this to debate whether or not she had the right to make the choice -- not going there at all. Just wondering if the doctor's advice is standard in this situation, having never been there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-a-friend-posted-possible-loss-trigger-warning#post-2292752 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 17:03:26 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2292752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: oh ok. I didn't read the article. I can't imagine how much it has to suck to make a decision like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-a-friend-posted-possible-loss-trigger-warning#post-2292750 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 16:48:49 +0000 Mae 2292750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The piece says she was too dilated for the cerlage. It sounds like they were confident they would not make it long enough to give their son a good chance of a healthy life. It may not be the choice I'd make but I understand their decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-a-friend-posted-possible-loss-trigger-warning#post-2292746 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 16:37:19 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2292746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't. I would think a doctor would do a cerclage and order bed rest in that situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/article-a-friend-posted-possible-loss-trigger-warning#post-2292738 Wed, 16 Sep 2015 16:26:16 +0000 coopsmama 2292738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A friend of mine posted this on FB today. The article is old but it's a pro-choice piece where the author discusses how his wife had bleeding shortly following their 20 week ultrasound (where they had a perfectly healthy baby) and was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix. Evidently the doctor recommended that they induce labor and end the pregnancy instead of going on bed rest or trying other measures to save their much-wanted pregnancy. They were unable to do so because of a bill that passed in Texas around that same time so the wife and her husband spent 7 (I think, not re-reading the piece) days living life and walking the neighborhood in hopes to get labor completely started. Note that the baby was still alive at that point.</p> <p>The piece is here: <a href="https://medium.com/@charlesv/denied-e639548e8b67" rel="nofollow">https://medium.com/@charlesv/denied-e639548e8b67</a> </p> <p>I read the piece and was quite confused by the whole thing -- I know of a few women who have faced similar sad situations and were never recommended to induce labor and were instead put on bedrest in the hopes of keeping the pregnancy viable. I have never heard of anyone's doctor recommending in a situation like this to induce while the baby is alive. Has anyone heard of this?? </p>