https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 13:04:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift/page/2#post-695141 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 17:50:55 +0000 deerylou 695141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pink champagne: I wish I could stick to my guns, and do the same. Unfortunately, I don't think I have the balls not to gift, even though several of our guests neglected us on our wedding day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift/page/2#post-695129 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 17:45:07 +0000 Pink Champagne 695129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only times I've not gifted is for the people who didn't get us wedding gifts. If and when they decide to get us something, we will get them something- I'm looking at you, EVERY SINGLE ONE of my five bridesmaids.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift/page/2#post-695121 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 17:42:33 +0000 avivoca 695121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have attended a wedding and not brought a gift. It was right after graduation, and I didn't have a job. The only way I even got to go was because I rode with my parents (it was in PA). </p> <p>It never bothered me if someone didn't bring a gift. I was so glad they were able to come and celebrate my marriage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift/page/2#post-695063 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 17:09:18 +0000 jmarionsmith 695063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: yes it was a tradition "off the registry" gift. i think if you attended the shower and gave a gift off the registry you're fine. it's ridiculous to expect two gifts for the same event! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift/page/2#post-695045 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:57:59 +0000 deerylou 695045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a good friend at my little wedding who traveled from out of state, while in graduate school. She didn't gift, but her presence was more than enough. </p> <p>What bothered me was DH's two brothers who complained about the cost of traveling, and ended up on an overnight flight, via my in-laws. They didn't have to pay for lodging, since their parents had room, but they still didn't bother with a card. Same goes for his local sisters.</p> <p>If I travel extensively for a wedding, or I'm in the wedding party and already shell out cash, I usually DIY something, and get a nice card. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift/page/2#post-695008 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:37:55 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 695008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went to a wedding last summer (DH was the best man) and they asked for donations to charity in lieu of gifts - we need to donate like 8 months ago!<br /> DH is going to a wedding in a few weeks. It's a destination wedding in Mexico. LO and I cannot attend (I can't take time off work and LO is EBF), but just for DH alone the cost is inching toward $1,000 (renewing passport, time of work, tickets, etc.) We're giving them a card, but no gift. We can't afford it, yo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift/page/2#post-694969 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:13:43 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 694969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not on purpose! We always bring a card &amp; a check inside. Once or twice we forgot the card at home or the checkbook! So, we'd just get their address &amp; mail it as soon as we could following the wedding.<br /> When I was MOH in my friend's wedding, I didn't gift but yet I got her a shower gift, I made her entire shower and I slaved away for her wedding as well as traveled for it. So, yeah... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift/page/2#post-694967 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:12:45 +0000 pui 694967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: "I think it's hard to swallow because, especially without even a card, it almost feels like they aren't truly acknowledging the marriage."</p> <p>Precisely. Why are you coming to my wedding if you can't even be bothered to spend a small amount of time and money to write us a nice note? Is our marriage really that unimportant to you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift/page/2#post-694951 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:04:18 +0000 deerylou 694951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's hard to swallow because, especially without even a card, it almost feels like they aren't truly acknowledging the marriage. </p> <p>I'm not a materialistic person in the slightest, but, just as I bring a bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers when I'm invited as a guest for dinner, I anticipate a token of congrats at a wedding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift/page/2#post-694947 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:01:42 +0000 MrsTiz 694947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had quite a few people not bring anything. DH's aunt, some of my friends from HS, his grandparents, and some others.</p> <p>I think it's rude. You can't afford $25 to give? I paid more than that for your food! It's even worse from family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694942 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:00:23 +0000 deerylou 694942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To be honest, I didn't even know that there was a year long grace period for wedding gifts until I started looking up etiquette for thank you cards. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694936 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 15:57:43 +0000 MrsTiz 694936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I agree. I think it's more rude to wait a year than to not even give one at all. If you didn't bring one to the wedding don't bother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694934 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 15:56:07 +0000 MrsBrewer 694934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I always bring a card with money. I only give cash at weddings, and normally I attend the bridal shower and bring a gift to that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694898 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 15:40:25 +0000 deerylou 694898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have always brought a gift, and a card. I would be uncomfortable arriving without.</p> <p>We had an intimate wedding, and didn't receive a single gift or card from any of DH's 5 (adult, most of them married) siblings. It's still a very sore subject for me, especially since we are generous gifters and consistently available/free babysitters to our nephews/niece. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694891 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 15:37:02 +0000 MrsH 694891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are way beyond the year grace period and never even got a card from some guests (including family!). I would never not bring a gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694750 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:56:00 +0000 lioneyes 694750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Friend of DH had a European destination wedding and specifically said NO GIFTS. we sent a card after the wedding (which we attended). That's the only possible scenario where I wouldn't send a gift (and I'll just make up for it with a baby gift). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694744 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:52:01 +0000 Lozza 694744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A couple of our good friends got married in a small town several hours by plane from where we live. It costs us over 1K to go to the wedding, and we also essentially provided childcare periodically throughout the weekend for two other kids (children of other good friends) while their parents were in the wedding party and doing various related tasks. They also specifically told everyone not to get them gifts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694611 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:06:55 +0000 autumnlove 694611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I went to a wedding last year in March and I didn't give her a gift until August....I was lazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694607 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:06:07 +0000 daniellemybelle 694607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't get gifts from several guests, including family members / people who should know better. I honestly think you should give a gift - even if it is a $20 BB&amp;B gift card - if you attend a wedding, unless you already gave them a shower gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694602 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:05:16 +0000 tequiero21 694602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chopsuey119: rofl, hostess w the mostess!</p> <p>Nope, never not gifted! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694596 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:03:02 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 694596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jmarionsmith: Was the bridal shower gift household related like most wedding presents? I gave a friend lingerie as a bridal shower gift and then bought a registry item for the wedding. </p> <p>I attended my cousin's wedding and was hoping my mom would add my name on her gift. She didn't like his wife so she didn't get them any thing. I ended up decorating the nursery for their first daughter for them to make up for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694593 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:02:00 +0000 Mrsbells 694593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Once. I was a teenager and just took a card. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694589 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:00:55 +0000 Mrs.Someone 694589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Never. If for some reason I wasn't able to give a gift, I would for sure give a card. After we got married a supposedly-close friend who didn't come (I think for selfish reasons...) kept telling me that she had a gift ready to send us, which I didn't expect. I always said something like "Oh, thats nice of you, but you really didn't have to". Of course it never came though, and it was more of an insult that she kept saying she was going to send something but never did. If she really intended to send something, I would've rather it been a surprise.</p> <p>I do have a funny story though. A cousin (in his 50s) who is pretty well off sent us a card and check many months later. He found it it his suit pocket the next time he went to wear it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694588 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:00:36 +0000 KissMeCait 694588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes but it was totally on accident. It was my friend’s wedding and I was a bridesmaid. In the chaos of getting everything together, I forgot their card (and check). I eventually gave it to her but I felt pretty terrible. She understood though. </p> <p>We had one couple not gift at our wedding. They were young so I chalked it up to not understanding wedding etiquette. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694568 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 13:53:08 +0000 plantains 694568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: that is so sweet. How lovely of him to apologise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694567 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 13:52:50 +0000 tysonja 694567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: hehe that is so sweet of that guy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694564 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 13:51:30 +0000 Amelieisme 694564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a decent amount of people at my wedding that did not give us a gift. Actually, my very best friend who was a bridesmaid didn't gift me anything, but she did a ton for me in being a bridesmaid Plus, when I had LO, she gifted me my car seat to "make up for it". I never realized that she hadn't gotten me a gift until she pointed it out :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694563 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 13:51:23 +0000 oliviaoblivia 694563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm going to fess up. I'm usually a stickler about ALWAYS giving a gift, but we had one couple no show for our wedding after RSVPing yes. I figure swallowing the $150 per plate we wasted made it even. It was one of DH's high school friends that he almost never talks to outside of weddings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694559 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 13:50:47 +0000 Foodnerd81 694559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was younger, I definitely went to weddings and sent a gift later-- usually because I couldn't afford something at that moment, but I think (hope) I always sent something in less than a year. </p> <p>We had a handful of people come to our wedding and never give us anything, including friends whose weddings we had been to and given gifts at not long before. I know they just forgot and have no idea, but it's been funny when one of the girls actually talks about wedding gifts. I'm sort of afraid one day she'll look at me and be like, what did we give you guys? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/attended-wedding-did-not-gift#post-694556 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 13:49:57 +0000 Boheme 694556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: I think it was a case of what @Anagram: described - people who don't understand how weddings work. One of them actually apologized when he got engaged himself saying "Oh, I thought only old family members got people gifts! I didn't know until my fiance made us register!" and gave us a BB&amp;B giftcard... and we had been married a year already lol! </p>