https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 01:36:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898653 Mon, 13 Oct 2014 00:04:01 +0000 Corduroy 1898653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the input everyone. I've decided to stay at a hotel and tell them the trip was cancelled. I don't like lying but I'm really not ready to tell them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898605 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 21:38:28 +0000 Mrs.Panda 1898605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: I don't care of my doctor told me someone with shingles isn't contagious, I'm not going near them as a pregnant person! Canceled trip is a good idea or just blame it on the shingles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898603 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 21:34:39 +0000 blackbird 1898603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Heh I'm totally avoiding mg parents (even on the phone, lest I slip) until I have my NT scan. I'm 10+ weeks now. Only feasible because I haven't seen them in months </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898537 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 19:47:05 +0000 Mrs. Oyster 1898537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm liking the canceled trip idea. My mom is also VERY emotional when it comes to my LO. I haven't yet told her that I'm pregnant this time around (I'm 9w), mostly because if I had to tell her that I then lost this pregnancy I think her emotions and (for lack of a better word) weepiness would cripple me. I didn't tell her about a previous m/c and really am glad I didn't. It was something I wanted to deal with close to home. I hope you're able to come up with a good solution! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898430 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 16:50:37 +0000 sapphire 1898430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: agreed! Esp when they figure out you are trying to avoid them...seems like they'll put 2+2 together at some point! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898420 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 16:26:50 +0000 daniellemybelle 1898420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is it a superstitious thing for them? I guess I am with @sapphire: that it's one thing to announce and another to tell them because they are your parents and you are going to see them and don't want to hide it! </p> <p>I would probably just tell them! And say "I know you would prefer I wait but I knew you'd figure it out &amp; I didn't want to try to lie." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898344 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 13:18:52 +0000 sapphire 1898344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's one thing to announce public ally prior to 12 weeks, and another thing entirely to tell one's parents. Would they not want to know at all if you had a miscarriage? I can't imagine not telling my family, who I know can keep a secret and from.whim I would need support if something bad happened.<br /> I would vote to stay with them and tell them, less than 12 weeks or not, esp given their reaction last time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898313 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 12:34:35 +0000 Cole 1898313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another option is to tell them you are going to have a brutal schedule for this trip with lots of early mornings and business dinners and didn't want to disturb them with your odd hours. Are people with shingles immune suppressed? You could also say you have a gross cold and don't want to risk him catching it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898275 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:43:42 +0000 Espion 1898275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: Ok, that's *exactly* why I had strong feelings about it. I think we're sisters! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898273 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:40:26 +0000 Corduroy 1898273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: ohhh, canceled trip. I LOVE that. That could work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898272 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:38:29 +0000 MamaG 1898272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How comfortable are you with lying? Can you tell them your trip was cancelled and then just not see them on this trip. </p> <p>I can understand where you are coming from with not wanting to tell them. Or alternatively, again probably a lie, tell them you are getting a hotel on this trip because you expect to be late and don't want to disturb them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898271 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:37:30 +0000 Corduroy 1898271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Espion: my mom has very strong feelings about everything baby-related. She cried for 40 minutes when we told her we were going to tell her the sex of LO1. She's not normally nuts so I'm not used to all this drama. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898270 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:35:48 +0000 Corduroy 1898270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Oatmeal: I'm hoping I won't have morning sickness too badly but my tastes have already changed. I'll be going from mainly paleo to carb-queen, no coffee, no after work cocktail. So obvious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898268 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:34:26 +0000 Espion 1898268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, screw their hang-ups. Do what you want, and if it is easier for you to stay in a hotel, do it. I think it is kind of ridiculous to give you crap for "announcing too early". (I probably have strong feelings about this because it sounds exactly like a family member, lol!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898265 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:32:39 +0000 Corduroy 1898265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babycanuck: @Tanjowen: My dad has shingles and even though doctors say what he has isn't contagious at all my brother mysteriously got it after staying with them. So I would just claim to be freaked about that but I know it would hurt my parents' feelings. It would also make it seems like I'm blaming them for my brother getting sick. I don't want to do that even though I don't know how I feel about it medically. My doctor insists it's not contagious, just coincidence.</p> <p>They already know I'm coming. Out of habit I copied them on my flight itinerary.</p> <p>Work would pay for the hotel. Although my boss will asking why I didn't stay at my parents'. He won't be thinking too hard about it though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898263 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:30:45 +0000 cascademom 1898263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've already told parents at 7 weeks tomorrow. I'm nervous as hell about family knowing this early. I won't have my appt until 2 weeks from now. I won't stop worrying until I see a heartbeat or reach 12 weeks. My parents had me figured out with LO right away when I was early too. Avoiding your parents would send off signals. They just know. I hope to have their spidey sense some day with my LOs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898254 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:22:13 +0000 Tanjowen 1898254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: I was thinking the same thing as @babycanuck: Not staying with them will probably alert them that something is going on. Could you plan to stay there, but maybe meet up with some friends or do dinner plans with co-workers after work so you don't have to do dinner at your parents? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898252 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:20:38 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1898252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's tough! It's strange that they don't like knowing, but seem to go out of their way to call you on it.<br /> Did your m/s start at 6 weeks last time? Or later?<br /> I'd probably stay with my parents, because I'm cheap and they would be really mad if I stayed in a hotel. But, if they don't know you're coming to town, and you're really worried about them finding out, then grab a hotel anyway! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898250 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:18:23 +0000 babycanuck 1898250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How will you justify not staying with them? Won't that set off red flags? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/avoiding-my-parents-justified#post-1898248 Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:16:26 +0000 Corduroy 1898248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I got a BFP for LO2 recently. Recently my job has been taking me to my parents' city every few weeks and I've been spending the night at their place. My next trip is next week and I'll be almost 6 weeks. I don't want to announce until 12 weeks or at least until I've seen the heartbeat. </p> <p>My mom gets really stressed out when she hears someone is pregnant before 12 weeks. She does not want to hear until 12 weeks. My SIL announced "too early" with both of her pregnancies and even though everything was fine I heard about how my mom "doesn't like it" every day until 12 weeks. </p> <p>When I was pregnant with LO1 we visited my parents at 8 weeks. They noticed I couldn't stomach anything and called me on it when DH was in the bathroom. I was pissed that they called me on it when they are the ones that dont want to know. I straight out lied and said I wasn't but they still had their suspicions. When we did announce at 12 weeks over Skype they already had a sign made that said "we knew.". Kind of took the wind out of our sails.</p> <p>So this time around should I just get a hotel and avoid my parents completely? I know they'll be hurt but it's justified, right? They'll notice right away if I stay there. The next time I travel I should be 9 or 10 weeks and might announce then if things are going well. </p>