https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 14:19:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255931 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 19:28:43 +0000 lady grey 2255931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: LO used to go to a small in home daycare before we moved to a new town. There was a young (20 yr old) awkward assistant teacher there. I thought it was weird at first but then the owner/director shared with me that that assistant was shy and having trouble talking to all the kids parents. They were working on it with her and also that the kids all loved her.<br /> So I think it would be worth talking to the director with. Maybe they can work with him and help him understand how he comes across to parents.<br /> Oh and in the end she became one of LO's beloved babysitters :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255746 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 15:09:49 +0000 littlejoy 2255746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: LOL. That's really good to know ... The other assistants have backgrounds in child development &amp; education, and ARE part of the ratio. I was surprised to see this extra person, so maybe his role is exactly what you're saying!! I'll ask. I've never seen him prepping food, handling kids 1 on 1, or doing bathroom time. I've literally only seen him reading to the kids or playing with them outside. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255736 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 15:04:32 +0000 Corduroy 2255736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I worked at a preschool one summer years ago when I was more awkward than today (I hope). My job was mainly to clean, handle snacks, and be an extra pair of eyes when needed. I was not counted in the teacher:student ratio. I never knew what was going on with individual kids. I'm sure I looked like an idiot to parents. Maybe ask the director what his role is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255721 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 14:54:10 +0000 littlejoy 2255721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, we are in Portland. There are all different shades of "quirky" here. One of her teachers is in a steampunk band, and just shaved her head. Another is a stylist/model, who has quite an *interesting* Instagram feed. But, I love that they are creative &amp; outgoing. I just need to learn to embrace this guy's vibe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255716 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 14:52:01 +0000 littlejoy 2255716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: "This mom at school is sooo weird! She's always smiling at me, and asking me strange questions!" - Ha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255712 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 14:51:14 +0000 blackbird 2255712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: heh, maybe you make him feel awkward ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255709 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 14:49:40 +0000 littlejoy 2255709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I am sure a lot of people think I'm awkward. Good thing I don't have to talk to anyone for my job! :) </p> <p>@2littlepumpkins: You're right ... the thing is, I am a really cynical person. Of course, I'm like, "This guy won't make eye contact with me, and acts super awkward! He's obviously a sketchy person!!" -- It's hard for me to separate the two, and I think it's important that I work hard to do that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255697 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 14:44:33 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2255697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: yeah all that said, if you have other suspicions or a really bad gut feeling about anyone watching your child that's a different story. But just awkwardness I wouldn't worry about. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255694 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 14:42:45 +0000 Crisark 2255694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Completely agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255687 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 14:39:41 +0000 blackbird 2255687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some people are just awkward! I'm sure some people think you are awkward! But if you do a good job at your job, it's ok right? I think the same applies here. Provided LO is well cared for, the awkwardness is just a personality quirk. If you want more info, you may have to prompt this guy </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255608 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:55:30 +0000 wonderstruck 2255608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: I totally agree! As long as they're good with the kids, it doesn't really bother me if they're awkward with me. The other ladies and me tend to chat a bunch, so when I first met the one assistant at our daycare who meets this description it did give me a bit of pause, but I guess now I'm just used to it. I know it's how she is and don't take it personally since she's really good with the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255606 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:53:10 +0000 littlejoy 2255606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: Interesting thought about what the directors want the assistants talking to the parents about. Maybe they hired him knowing that he was awesome with kids ... and didn't care too much about the adult awkwardness, because frankly, they don't need him to be overall communicative. Also, he could very-well be one of the directors brothers for all I know. </p> <p>I think after hearing how common this is, you're right ... really does seem like a non-issue, as long as we feel comfortable with him around LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255594 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:46:44 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2255594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally think it sounds mostly like a non issue. As far as follow up goes, I say just keep asking if you want a better answer. Another factor could be that sometimes teachers are a bit possessive and controlling over the interactions assistants have with parents. I say check for notes by the teachers and keep asking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255584 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:41:59 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2255584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: You're definitely not alone! I love the afternoon assistant that is assigned to LO. She's so incredibly sweet, helpful, and knows him inside out. The male assistant is great and interacts with LO a bunch too, but he clearly isn't as close as the one assigned to him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255571 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:34:20 +0000 littlejoy 2255571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: That sounds exactly like LO's school. I'm so happy (well, you know what I mean) that we aren't the only people experiencing this. It sounds more common than I thought. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255569 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:32:51 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2255569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: Right, and that could be the case. One of the other things is that LO's class has about 10 kids in it, so there are always 2 teachers/assistants on at a given time. They have assignments, so my LO is assigned to the female assistant in the afternoon...so the male assistant might not know how he did since he might come in and read only the kids' book that they're assigned to. So when I ask the male assistant if LO napped that day, he doesn't always know because of the time he got there. He could also easily look, but they send me the report the second we walk out of the room, so I can see it on my phone anyway. So maybe some of the other assistants do go the extra mile while he's not as intuitive to look in the book for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255514 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:06:27 +0000 littlejoy 2255514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: Good advice! That's what I need to keep reminding myself of. And, maybe the other assistants are actually doing more communicating than their job title/description asks of them, so my perception is skewed a bit? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255513 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:05:17 +0000 littlejoy 2255513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: We have an awkward neighbor ... like painfully awkward. He struck up a really vibrant conversation with us last week, and we thought, "He's going to kill us now!" -- it was so unlike him to talk to us. I don't get THAT vibe from this teacher, which is a good thing. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255510 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:04:12 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2255510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have an awkward assistant as well, but he's amazing with the kids. I think he just doesn't know how to interact well with adults, and that's totally fine with me. It's his job to care for my child...he's just a little awkward while talking to me and isn't sure what to say. I try to make him feel more comfortable and say hello, ask him if he has any plans for the weekend, and that's when he seems to open up a little more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255508 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:03:37 +0000 littlejoy 2255508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: Totally makes sense. Because he's more shy, and one of the directors is usually outside for pickup, I don't engage as much as I could. I will make more of an effort to be friendly to him. In all fairness, I'm not even sure he knows my name, because I don't think we ever got formally introduced. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255506 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:02:24 +0000 littlejoy 2255506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@getjazzy: That's how I'm feeling too ... I've seen him with the kids, and he's great. So, maybe I just need to let go of the idea that he needs to be good at everything. I really trust the directors judgement.</p> <p>@mediagirl: I should elaborate ... the school is small. 6 teachers total. There aren't "shifts" like that, he just got there later that day. And, everything is always written in her book, I guess I just like making small talk at pickup and hearing how she was that day (something I think he should totally be able to recap). Maybe I'll try engaging with him a bit more the next two weeks, and if I think he's unable to relay information, I'll just mention something to the directors about communication. I do learn something useful each day at pickup -- whether she was extra clingy that day, or had a lot of fun watching the ant farm -- and I enjoy that conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255505 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:02:22 +0000 Greentea 2255505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hm. Sounds fine, unless you get an unsafe vibe or something. Lots of people are awkward, maybe keep trying, or direct questions to the people that you are better able to communicate with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255503 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 13:01:25 +0000 Mamaof2 2255503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I would give it some time for him to adjust and I would purposely go out of your way to talk to him everyday. Say hello, hows it going, anything exciting happen today? Simple chatting but I think that will make him more comfortable and will soon chat more with you - does that make sense? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255496 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 12:54:37 +0000 mediagirl 2255496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had this issue of no communication. I talked to the director first to let her know I needed more. Then after a while I tried to start a banter with the teachers. I would ask what they had planned that week and what they were focusing on. Then I would ask how my child was doing. And if they say they got there at 2, that is unacceptable. The previous teacher should have filled them in on the kids. Or they should call you later to fill you in if they don't have info now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255494 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 12:52:34 +0000 getjazzy 2255494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have one awkward assistant too. She was new and is much better now, but still the most awkward of the bunch. She is great with the kids. I often quietly peek around the corner to see what they are doing when I arrive for pick up and almost 100% of the time she is playing with the kids where as that is not always the case with the others (who are great too, and incidentally not as awkward but, less of kids themselves). In my opinion, it's good to have a mix of both type of care givers. The organized, by the book ones and the more care free, child like ones. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255488 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 12:50:34 +0000 littlejoy 2255488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: Relatively ... The school has only been open since March. I think he's been there since June. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255486 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 12:49:49 +0000 Mamaof2 2255486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: he is new? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/awkward-daycare-assistant#post-2255483 Wed, 05 Aug 2015 12:48:34 +0000 littlejoy 2255483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We absolutely love LO's school. Seriously no major complaints in the 5 months we've been there. </p> <p>The only tiny issue is that one of the assistants seems really awkward. Yesterday, the assistant was alone outside with the kids at pick-up (usually one of the directors is out there too), and he didn't say anything to me. Just an awkward smile. When I asked if they had a good day, he apparently thought I was talking to LO, and he went on talking to one of the kids. A few weeks ago, I asked him how potty training went that day, and his only response was, "I don't know. I just got here at 2:00". Obviously that's a very valid response, but as a provider, I expect some follow-up, like, "Hey (director), did LO do okay today?" ... or "Let's check her notebook.".</p> <p>Am I thinking too much about this? The other assistants and the two directors are really awesome. From the monthly photos, I can tell that he engages with the kids, and they have fun.</p> <p>I don't want to rock the boat by saying something, and maybe I'm putting too much pressure on an assistant? I feel like it takes a lot of trust to leave your kid with someone else, and part of the trust I'm learning comes from the confidence the other teachers display. </p> <p>Anyone else have this experience? </p> <p>eta: DH questioned if I think this issue stems from the fact that he's a man, and not the traditional idea of a daycare teacher. There are actually two male teachers at the school, and I think the other one is awesome. Valid question, but I think I'd feel the same if it were a man or a woman. </p>