https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 06 Jun 2026 10:46:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-802853 Thu, 23 May 2013 09:14:09 +0000 ShootingStar 802853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for all the input. I think we've finally got a decision, and an inexpensive one at that! I think we're going to do a backyard bbq at DH's cousin's house. I was a little hesitant at first because I feel like it's a lot to ask someone, but we'll bring in some prepared food and hopefully it won't be too much of a burden on them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-799011 Tue, 21 May 2013 18:37:50 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 799011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's funny, but I'm kind of on the opposite end of this situation. I offered to throw my friend a shower, she said she'd talk to her husband to see what he thought, and he said he wanted to pay for everything, and they wanted to have it at a party room at a restaurant. He wanted only my name to be on the RSVPs but I feel bad because it looks like I am footing the bill, when its actually him. </p> <p>The restaurant is about $30 a head for lunch, with a $1200 minimum for the larger space that he wants. I'm happy he's paying because honestly I was planning on hosting at my house for much much less than that, so at least she'll get the shower she wants, but I feel super awkward about it. I'm not sure if your friends are in a similar situation... I am taking care of all of the games and favors and sent all the invites, etc. sorry to ramble but its nice to get that off my chest haha :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798919 Tue, 21 May 2013 17:59:26 +0000 mrsmate 798919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You shouldn't be paying for your own shower. That's not how they're supposed to work! You shouldn't have to plan anything either, other than providing a guest list and registry details.</p> <p>It is sweet of your friends to offer even though they have limited financial means. What if you hosted just your friends at your place for a girls' night in? The important thig is to get together to celebrate you and your baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798800 Tue, 21 May 2013 16:46:18 +0000 Ash 798800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I, personally, don't really want a shower and I'd especially not want one if it was costing 1k. I second the idea of having a small get together at your house or at a restaurant where everyone pays for their own meal. </p> <p>If someone wants to put it on for you, that's another story. But you shouldn't be responsible for your own. :( I'd probably just back out if it was me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798710 Tue, 21 May 2013 16:08:55 +0000 bunnylove08 798710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ouch 1k. can you do it in a restaurant so there is food and space already there? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798684 Tue, 21 May 2013 15:59:29 +0000 lawbee11 798684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: That's a really good point! I don't think there's any way I will get $1000 worth of stuff off my registry at my shower. I'd rather have no shower and put $1K towards baby stuff! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798676 Tue, 21 May 2013 15:55:24 +0000 Anagram 798676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would agree that you should downscale the event majorly. I just had a friend spend $900 of her own money for her shower (that's a long story) and ended up getting tons of small, off-registry items that she probably won't use.</p> <p>So she spent a ton of her own money without much in return. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798587 Tue, 21 May 2013 15:20:19 +0000 Mrs D 798587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Couple thoughts:</p> <p>1) as someone else mentioned, a local park would be great. Contact your city or county...we rented one last summer and it was $75 for the pavilion rental. Some Panera or other "nicer" takeout and you could easily accommodate 15-30 people for $300-500</p> <p>2) I have been to a couple informal showers at restaurants, each guest paid for their own food (or I think you could probably select a limited menu to pick from and have DH pick up the tab if he wants to). You could pick a restaurant with outdoor seating?</p> <p>Just my two cents! I think the hotel sounds like a rip off and would definitely recommend pursuing other options. Also, for 15 people I'd think you could make your place work. My sister always thought he place was not conducive to hosting but 15 people would fit almost anywhere! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798556 Tue, 21 May 2013 15:08:40 +0000 lawbee11 798556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes! $1K for a baby shower (not including drinks/decor) seems really steep! Could you rent a party room at a restaurant and do a brunch? Even if it's $30/person (I doubt it would be that much!) it would be cheaper than $1K. </p> <p>Also, is having it at your house not an option? I would rather have a smaller shower and save the money than have 30 people and spend $1K+. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798515 Tue, 21 May 2013 14:56:24 +0000 Modern Daisy 798515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If your DH really wants a shower and doesn't think that $1K is unreasonable for the space and the food, then I say just go with it. Ask your friends to pitch in by sending the invites and providing decor and favors. In a way that's kind of what I'm doing since my Mom is hosting my shower with my two best friends. She is providing the location (her house), food and booze while my girlfriends did the invites, games, favors, appetizers, etc. I'm actually providing the cake and drink pitchers and following up with invitees for responses so I'm definitely involved too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798478 Tue, 21 May 2013 14:42:23 +0000 dagret 798478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You can usually negotiate with a hotel, too...their "sticker price" isn't always their best price. You could tell them you found another venue to do the same thig for a third of the price and see where they end up. </p> <p>Just a suggestion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798446 Tue, 21 May 2013 14:32:45 +0000 Foodnerd81 798446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you compromise and just have a get together at your house with up to 10 people? Like, just these friends and anyone else you are super close to? Spending $1000 of your own money for your own shower just seems silly, especially since you don't want one. But if you just had a get together at the house, people could bring food, you get to see people, and if they so choose, they could bring you a baby gift then? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798400 Tue, 21 May 2013 14:13:22 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 798400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know about you, but asking DH to pay for something is basically the same asking me/us/we to pay for something. And if the shower is supposed to be hosted by my friends then that would just be unacceptable. Their heart is in a good place, but they simply can't afford to give you a shower. </p> <p>I would not want a half-a** shower either- me paying for it or not. $1,000 doesn't seem unreasonable amount to spend on a shower, but like you said for cheese and crackers that's too much. If you are really bent on having a shower just plop down more cash to get what you want. Me: I would cancel it completely. Your friends can't afford it and with a baby on the way an extra $1-2,000 spent on baby gear instead of a 3-4 hour social event seems like a better use of funds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798231 Tue, 21 May 2013 13:20:14 +0000 ShootingStar 798231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my mistake was in asking DH to jump in. Because he keeps involving me, when I want to be left out. But God, if I wasn't involved, he might be spending $1k on practically nothing. </p> <p>I probably should've just told my friends that I'd step out of the conversation and to just let me know where and when. But I feel really bad because our house is not ideal for hosting large parties of people, so a rental space is needed. 10? Sure. 30-50? Not happening. </p> <p>@artbee: I had the thought that we should just have a picnic type event somewhere, but I don't know this area all that well and I had trouble finding something like that. Then I suggested the nearby hotel to DH and he kinda ran with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798170 Tue, 21 May 2013 13:10:18 +0000 regberadaisy 798170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It no longer sounds like your friends who brought up the shower are hosting it? It sounds like YOU are hosting it and you didn't even want it in the first place! Is it too late to cancel? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798160 Tue, 21 May 2013 13:08:11 +0000 heffalump 798160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow.... It's your shower, you shouldn't have to worry about this stuff! Is there a park or someplace that you can have it at? usually you can rent a picnic shelter for free, then you could just bring your own food in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-shower-issues#post-798049 Tue, 21 May 2013 12:36:43 +0000 ShootingStar 798049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A few weeks ago some very wonderful friends of mine offered to throw me a shower. However, none of them live near me and trying to come up with a plan that works for several people was completely stressing me out. I got so incredibly stressed by my bridal shower that I wanted nothing to do with showers ever again, but my friends convinced me. So I asked DH to step in. I also suggested that since none of my friends are very well off, that he offer to pay for the bulk of it. Thinking it would be a casual shower and cost $500-800.</p> <p>Problems started coming up because we have no where to host it ourselves and need to rent a space for it. So we found a hotel nearby that has some beautiful outdoor spaces, which is what I wanted. The space rental isn't outrageous, except that we need to book an inside room too, in case it rains :-S. Then we started asking about food. I told DH we should have it in the afternoon and do heavy appetizers. The coordinator emailed him with a price estimate and it would basically cost $1k for the event spaces + cheese platters for 15 people, veggie platters for 15 people, and cakes/pastries for 30 people. No drinks. No real appetizers. </p> <p>I would like to have been kept out of it and just told when to show up, but DH keeps needing my input. And I'm starting to feel like this is an insane idea. We're going to spend $1k for a party that has cheese, veggies and cookies? We could just put the $1k toward the rest of our baby stuff. DH really wants to have the shower though. But I can't figure out how to not spend an insane amount of money on next to nothing. If it was $1k and we got the event space plus tons of food and drink for 30+ people, I might think it was more worthwhile. </p> <p>So I have no idea what to do. I want to be kept out of it, but DH is clueless. And we can't really talk to my friends about it because I feel like it's enough of a financial burden for them to get here. </p>