https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 25 May 2026 19:42:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-556497 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 11:02:36 +0000 Modern Daisy 556497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I honestly don't think you're doing the mom-to-be any favors by forcing yourself to go. I'm sure she cares enough about you that she wouldn't want you to be so upset during what is supposed to be a happy occasion for everyone. I mean, she should feel that way if you were close enough to be invited to the shower! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-556373 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 10:22:41 +0000 loveletter 556373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with everyone - don't go! And I would totally just send a card and Babies R Us giftcard if shopping for a gift was too painful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-556333 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 10:12:45 +0000 GrapeCrush 556333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>it is entirely up to you, and no one should make you feel bad if you decide not to go. you could always say you're not feeling well, or you have plans and send a gift? a friend of mine came to mine about a month and a half after her m/c, i would have completely understood if she had decided not to come, i was even nervous to send her the invite. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-556310 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 10:07:02 +0000 Mrs.Someone 556310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had to go to one for a close friend exactly a month after my m/c. In the middle of the games I ended up close to tears and needing to go for a walk with a friend who knew what I was going through. I don't recommend it, stay home and save your feelings! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-556305 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 10:06:01 +0000 MaisyMay 556305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't go. After my mc, I avoided a lot of baby stuff for a while. You need the time to heal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-556290 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 10:01:34 +0000 MrsH 556290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Oh, "plans" I love vague. Thanks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-556158 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 09:19:11 +0000 blackbird 556158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't go to one for DH's cousin. I already "had plans" that day. I would only go if it was someone I was really close to. No sense torturing yourself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-556151 Fri, 08 Feb 2013 09:15:45 +0000 MrsH 556151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskc: Thanks for the insight. That must have been really hard. </p> <p>@Bao: Thanks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555331 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 20:18:03 +0000 Bao 555331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry...lots of hugs. I would stay home, if it is causing you to feel sad and anxious then it's not worth it. Send a gift and be done with it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555329 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 20:17:27 +0000 mrskc 555329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do what feels right for you. If you don't feel up to it, then don't go. </p> <p>I actually went to a baby shower while having a miscarriage. I don't know why I went. I guess because I had already RSVP'd and started miscarrying a couple days before the baby shower. It was hard. I cried in the bathroom. And it was especially hard when people were asking me when we were going to have kids. I almost cried when I saw the mom-to-be. Once food was served and we started playing games, I started having a good time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555325 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 20:15:36 +0000 T.H.O.U. 555325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would totally stay home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555239 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 20:01:35 +0000 singingbee 555239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsH: in hindsight, it wasn't the best decision to decide to stay in charge of it, but I got through it. Not pleasantly, but I gt through it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555167 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:49:13 +0000 MrsCastro 555167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsH: LOL... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555153 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:46:18 +0000 MrsH 555153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsCastro: You wouldn't want to get the mom-to-be sick. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555136 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:42:18 +0000 MrsCastro 555136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsH: sounds like a plan... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555123 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:39:41 +0000 MrsH 555123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennimac: Ugh- you are a much better person than I for even attempting to throw one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555116 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:38:05 +0000 singingbee 555116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do what you feel comfortable with doing. FYI, I had to throw a shower 3 months after we lost our daughter. It sucked. I ended up leaving early and all the other teachers helped clean up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555113 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:37:28 +0000 MrsH 555113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: MIL will sadly not have my back.</p> <p>@MrsCastro: So sorry you have a similar situation. maybe you can have a cold that week? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555100 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:34:12 +0000 MrsCastro 555100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsH: i know what you mean...i had a m/c in august...and DH sister found out she was pregnant a week after i did...and i know a baby shower is coming and i am soooooo dreading it and sadly i dont think i will be able to get out of it...but if i had the choice, for me i would not go...i still havent come full circle with accepting that she is pregnant and will be having a baby and i wont....ahhh brings tears to my eyes... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555095 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:32:53 +0000 hummusgirl 555095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. You shouldn't go if you don't want to, and your MIL should have your back with the rest of the family since she knows your situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555086 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:30:02 +0000 MrsH 555086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsCastro: Thanks. I guess I just feel bad for really not wanting to go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555083 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:29:38 +0000 Mrs. Polish 555083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsH: Then your job is done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555082 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:28:45 +0000 MrsH 555082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Polish: Oh, I'll for sure send a lovely gift either way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555055 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:24:53 +0000 Mrs. Polish 555055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry to hear that you had a miscarriage. While I've never experienced your loss, I am no stranger to dreading a baby shower. We've been TTC for three years, and before we knew about our adoption, I would frequently skip baby showers because of how upset it would make me. It doesn't make you a bad person for not going, not at all. You're going through a lot, and you need to make sure you're not enduring any additional stress. </p> <p>If it were me I would be unable to make it to the shower, but perhaps send a gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555051 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:24:37 +0000 MrsCastro 555051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>listen to your heart...regardless of what anyone says you have to put yourself and your feelings first... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-showers-after-mc-should-i-go#post-555045 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:21:29 +0000 MrsH 555045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband's cousin-in-law is having a baby shower in 3 weeks. I had a miscarraige in July and the baby would have been due in 2 weeks. We have been TTC but have not had any luck. I'm just not sure I'm up for going to a baby shower right now. I'm happy for DH's cousin that she is having a baby but I really don't think I can get through the shower with out crying (and crying in the car on the drive to and from).</p> <p>My inlaws (except for my MIL) don't know we have had a m/c and we already get ragged on for not being at enough family functions (we both have grad school, fulltime jobs, live an hour away, etc.). (ETA: the inlaws are a very close family)</p> <p>Just the though of going is making me sad and anxious.</p> <p>What are your thoughts? Anyone go through something similar? </p>