https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 21:01:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2589495 Thu, 21 Jul 2016 06:52:59 +0000 ms.line 2589495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: Thanks!</p> <p>@gingerbebe: I thought for the first few months of her life that she was low sleep needs, too! I've recently come to suspect that she is HIGH sleep needs but just can't sleep, which has been fueling her crying from day 1. How old was your son when you sleep trained? </p> <p>@mrswin: My husband has suggested we start swaddling her again, but it's so hard to feel like I'm moving *backwards.* I might give it a shot, though. How old was your daughter when you started? Thanks for sharing your approach - so helpful to hear what ended up working for people! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2589245 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 16:35:23 +0000 mrswin 2589245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="mailto:H@ms.line">H@ms.line</a>: My DD was very similar to yours, reflux, colic and terrible sleep. Some of the wonderful ladies here gave me some great advice. For at least a week straight I held her for EVERY nap, I literally sat in one spot and didn't move for at least an hour, this allowed her to catch up on her daytime sleep so she wasn't soooo overtired. Then we started working on falling asleep on her own which involved crying it out Ferber style (checks at 2 min, 5 mins and 8 mins in the beginning). I would say bedtime at 7:30 or 8 is reasonable at that age if you get the daytime naps lengthened by any means necessary.</p> <p>We also put her back in the swaddle at night because even though it seemed like she was trying to self smooth she couldn't and would just end up agitated. It probably took 4-5 nights before we got bedtime locked down. Her night waking dramatically decreased at this time because she knew how to put herself back to sleep if she woke up after a sleep cycle.</p> <p>From there I started working on transitioning naps into the crib. Stared with the first nap, and held for the rest, then eventually worked up to all naps in the crib, sometimes the last one in the carrier. </p> <p>I know how hard it is to deal with a colic-y baby but it will get better! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2589202 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 15:11:47 +0000 gingerbebe 2589202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first had colic and reflux and he didn't sleep for more than 20 minutes at a stretch for most of the first few months of his life. His colic peaked around 10 weeks and we got him on Prevacid and got his reflux managed, but he was still waking up all the time. </p> <p>DH basically convinced me that he was going to be up crying all night no matter what we did (and we did EVERYTHING), so we might as well teach him how to sleep. Our son was basically exhausted and had been since Day 1 and essentially didn't know HOW to sleep. I felt like a zombie, but my husband reasoned so did the baby. We tried all the gentle methods and they didn't work so we ended up having to do extinction CIO for him and it was rough for a few days but then he started sleeping 9 hours straight at night (from 1030pm dreamfeed to 730am). We had thought he had low sleep needs and it turned out he actually needed a TON of sleep. Whether it was to catch up from all the months of sleep didn't get, I don't know, but he basically started sleeping like a machine. By 5 months old, he was sleeping 12 hours at night and taking 2 big naps every day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2589189 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 14:49:21 +0000 LBee 2589189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ms.line: Wall @jape14:, her son had reflux and they did sleep training at (I think) 4 months. I know her DS is now a rockstar sleeper. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2589180 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 14:39:58 +0000 ms.line 2589180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@imbali: Sorry you're in the same boat, but misery loves company. :wink: </p> <p>@brownepiano: I certainly wouldn't mind if she went to bed at 6:30, except she's only in super light "nap" sleep that she wakes up from miserable in 20-30 mins! I literally taped garbage bags over our windows behind the blackout shades so NO LIGHT gets in, but she still can't seem to settle (despite being exhausted) until closer to 8. </p> <p>@Modern Daisy: Happy to hear your success story! I have no problem waking up 1-2 times a night to feed her, but our current state is ridic! She's following her growth curves right on point and her ped is encouraging us to try CIO in a month or so.</p> <p>@Jackiedavis87: Bless you! I'm so thankful we're not dealing with any allergies/intolerances on top of this - that must have been just terrible! I will keep my fingers crossed for 6 months - that's an amazing change! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2589161 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 14:14:19 +0000 arosebyany 2589161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ms.line: first, I just want to say you are doing an amazing job dealing with everything :heart: . My DS was exacly like that, but with colic, severe reflux that required Nexium and MSPI. He also would only sleep for 20 to 30 mins at a time and would scream bloody murder if I put him down, asleep or awake. We ended up cosleeping because the child would refuse to sleep outside of my arms. Unfortunately for us the only thing that helped was time. I know, sounds terrible, but the day he turned 6 months old I swear it was like a switch was flipped. All of a sudden he was happy being put down, would sleep by himself for about 1 to 1 and 1/2 hour naps! And only started waking up 2 times at night. We never did sleep training because my child literally screamed so many hours of the day for 6 months, that there was just no way I could listen to him scream anymore. I'm sorry I really don't have great advice for you😔. Bit I just wanted to say I understand what your going through and you may soon be over this hump. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2589145 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 13:56:44 +0000 Modern Daisy 2589145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first was very similar to your LO and nothing worked so we finally did cio at around 3 months. We talked to our Doctor first and made sure we were confident he was getting enough food during the day and didn't need to wake up for 17 (it seemed like) feedings and just did almost like a baby-led cio for one feeding at a time until he eventually dropped them all. It was baby-led because he seemed to be able to drop the feeding since he would sometimes skip it on his own or at least lengthen the stretch once in a while. But like you we read the books and had tried everything else first and we're just plain fed up and exhausted. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2589144 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 13:56:23 +0000 brownepiano 2589144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If she's waking up at 6:30 am, then a 6:30 pm bedtime should be fine. I think baby's bedtimes tend to move earlier as they get older before going later again. DS had a 6:30 bedtime for a LONG time and a 6:30 wake time. </p> <p>Sleep training/CIO sucks in the moment, but it is AMAZING afterward. I am definitely not waiting till 8 months to do it this time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2589125 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 13:40:51 +0000 imbali 2589125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following - almost the exact same situation for our DS who us the same age :bummed: it's so awful. No advice, just commiseration! X </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2589085 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 13:04:48 +0000 ms.line 2589085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Portboston: Yep, she had her weight checked at her 4 month visit last week and both her ped and I are considering her reflux well-managed at the moment. I like the idea of tackling bedtime and MOTN separately - thanks!</p> <p>@catlady: I'm glad to hear things went so well the second time! And you're right, I could always try and see.</p> <p>@Madison43: I'm not ready for CIO yet, but her meds have been adjusted and while awake her symptoms seem to be very well controlled? Oh how I wish she could talk and tell me what's up! Thanks for the solidarity. </p> <p>@alphagam84: Yep, we've had a solid bedtime routine since 6 weeks, white noise since day 1. Sometimes she's actually totally chill until I put her sleepsack on (after changing but before boob and books) and then she loses her shit - she knows sleep is coming! We used to swaddle her but weaned her from that slowly a month or so ago. She certainly looks like she's *trying* to self soothe with her hands so we wanted to encourage that. I think if we're still in the same place next month we're going to try to some gradual-extinction CIO like you describe. The effects of my sleep deprivation are honestly becoming dangerous at this point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2589041 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 12:12:04 +0000 alphagam84 2589041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are you swaddling her at all? Do you have a good bedtime routine in place to help her wind down? Like bath, bottle, story, bed (with white noise playing as soon as you get in the room)? I would try sleep training at this point. Sounds horrible but it should work w/in a few day and everyone will be happier. When we did it we did an initial check once she started crying in the night to make sure she hadn't vomited or something then at 10-15 minute intervals we would not enter the room but stick our heads in for about a minute and say something reassuring in a calm voice then leave again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2588946 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 09:54:49 +0000 Madison43 2588946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ms.line: We are still dealing with reflux related sleep issues at 9 months, so I feel your pain. Please don't try to sleep train her if she is having reflux issues, she's likely crying because she's uncomfortable and then crying makes the reflux worse, nursing makes her feel better and then laying down on a full stomach makes it hurt again. Even when we have LO2's reflux under control, it flares up again if she gets any type of illness and she ends up waking up every hour. Its miserable - will she take a bottle at all so that your husband can help? I would also see her ped or a GI to adjust her meds to make her more comfortable at night.</p> <p>As for the short naps and having an overnight regression (going from 5 hour stretches to shorter stretches overnight), I think thats pretty normal, regardless of reflux. Hugs though, its so hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2588943 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 09:47:30 +0000 catlady 2588943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ms.line: You could always try sleep training now and see how it goes, if you are up for it. I didn't mention in my other post, but we actually tried at the beginning of all our troubles (around 4 months) and it was so horrible. It was obvious after one night she wasn't ready. We tried all those gentle methods because CIO had gone so badly but after 6 more weeks, I was losing my mind so we tried again, even though I was super nervous. It was like night and day, it worked so quickly the second time. That's why I mentioned yours might be young right now, but you could definitely give it a shot and see. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2588939 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 09:45:01 +0000 Portboston 2588939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you had her weighed lately to adjust her meds? I felt like every time DS's reflux was acting up we just needed to adjust his meds<br /> We started sleep training at 3.5 months for falling asleep. We didn't tackle MOTN wake ups hardcore until around 6 months. But it doesn't hurt to try! You can always stop if you don't feel comfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2588934 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 09:41:30 +0000 ms.line 2588934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Portboston: @catlady: I am open to sleep training (although I really don't *want* to do it!) but I'm worried she's still too young right now. But looking at old HB posts it seems like a lot of people did it at 3 months? I was trying to wait until 6 months but that feels so far away now.... Thank you both for sharing your experiences! </p> <p>@pwnstar: Yeah my *ideal* is to start our bedtime routine at 7pm with the idea of her being asleep by 7:30. I have to wake her up at 6:30am during the week so I want to make sure she has the opportunity for her 11 hours. But most nights she's just totally crashing out by 6-6:30 because she hasn't napped enough during the day. I feel bad for her! I've tried putting her down for a nap as soon as we get home from daycare but that doesn't help the bedtime routine. </p> <p>Re: reflux, she's been on meds since she was 3 weeks old. She used to cry after eating and spitting up when she was younger, and that has greatly subsided, so I was hoping her reflux was improving.... But yeah, you're right, it def could be factoring in to her night wake ups. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2588920 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 09:15:52 +0000 catlady 2588920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really sorry you are dealing with this. My baby was very similar at that age, and my first month back at work was honestly one of the hardest times of my life (same as you, I was a zombie and also constantly sick). Between 4 months and 5.5 months, we tried numerous "gentle" sleep training methods. They didn't really help in our case, but you could try them. We finally went with CIO (extinction with checks) at 5.5 months and it was amazing. By the 2nd night she was already sleeping so much better. By the 3rd night, there was no more crying. She went from 8-10 wakeups per night to 2 (just to nurse and then right back down). Your baby may be a bit too young for that at this moment but just wanted to tell you what finally worked for us. (Unfortunately no help about the reflux but our baby did have very bad MSPI and other food issues, and I think it caused similarly bad sleep) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2588918 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 09:15:20 +0000 pwnstar 2588918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Reflux usually peaks between 4-6 months, so it really could be all related to reflux. I would get her to a Ped GI specialist for an eval. Her cycle of short sleep time/instant crying/nursing sounds like reflux (like she is nursing to coat her throat/esophagus so that she is able to fall asleep again). Until you get the reflux under control, sleep training will be pretty much impossible. </p> <p>Also, 6:30 seems like a really early bedtime for a 4.5 month old. She may just need one more nap/awake cycle before going down for the night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2588903 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 09:02:01 +0000 Portboston 2588903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS was a reflux baby so I feel your pain. Are you open to sleep training? I was so opposed to CIO until I just couldn't take it anymore. The first night we did it, he only cried for 7 min. That helped save my sanity from spending hours rocking/walking/bouncing him. Middle of the night wake ups took a lot longer to fix but the falling asleep unassisted was a start (it helped with naps too!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/baby-sleep-vent#post-2588822 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 08:10:44 +0000 ms.line 2588822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter is 4.5 months old and her sleep is disastrous. She has reflux and maybe had colic on top of it, and our first few months were extremely difficult. She is now turning in to a delightful little baby, but sleep remains our Achilles' heel. Here's what we're dealing with:</p> <p>Naps: When she gets tired, she gets super fussy. She fights me like a wild animal when I try to nurse or rock her to sleep - kicking, thrashing, screaming. After she finally does go down, she will not sleep more than 25-30 mins. She usually wakes up crying. I used to be able to rock her back down but not anymore. She wakes at the slightest noise. She hates swings. She will fall asleep in the car, but wakes up as soon as we stop driving. She's a disaster by the end of the day bc she's so overtired. I've tried putting her to sleep after an hour of awake time and after 2.5 hours of awake time, and every time point in between - same results. She only naps twice a day at daycare and won't let her teacher put her down.</p> <p>Bed time: We aim for a 7pm bedtime, but she often can't "make it" that late before having a meltdown. So she ends up going to sleep at 6:30, but she's still in "nap mode" and wakes up after 20-30 minutes, and it takes us her another hour to get her to sleep. So pretty much from the time I pick her up at daycare until she finally zonks out 8pm, I'm dealing with a cranky, crying baby. </p> <p>Overnight: When she was 2 months or so, she routinely went for one five hour stretch, followed by wake ups ever two hours. Things started to go downhill around 3 months, and have gotten terrible the past few weeks. She's up every 30-90 minutes and immediately starts crying. I used to able to shush, pat, or rock her back to sleep, but now she won't go back down unless I nurse her. It's brutal.</p> <p>I started back to work at the beginning of the month and this is quickly becoming untenable. I have no time for myself in the evenings, and getting up and going to work at 6am after 7-9 wake ups through the night is torturous. (My DD is EBF so I'm doing all the wake ups.) I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious, foggy, forgetful, and short-tempered. I've gotten two terrible colds this month alone because my immune system is shot (DD and DH have been just fine). I've read a bunch of sleep books and tips and I feel terrible that I've been unable to prevent or "fix" her bad sleep habits. She seems to be trying to self soothe (rubbing face, grabbing sleep sack, putting fingers in mouth), but it's not "working." I tried introducing a lovey but she's not really interested.</p> <p>Sorry for the novel, I guess I just needed to dump. Support or commiseration welcome. </p>