https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 16:43:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783552 Wed, 01 Nov 2017 15:36:21 +0000 gingerbebe 2783552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't live near any family so traveling at the holidays - at least some of the time - we've accepted is just part of our lives. We have spent each boy's first Christmas with our in-laws because they were so young they wouldn't know the difference anyway and we wanted them to meet family members they otherwise would not meet (example: great grandmother who passed last year).</p> <p>In the future, we will likely spend Christmas Eve or Christmas Day at home and then travel to see relatives the days following or before Christmas, depending on our schedules. The kids' daycares close the week between Christmas and New Year's anyway, so we might as well take the time to visit folks. </p> <p>But ultimately, the bottom line is you do what works for your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783435 Wed, 01 Nov 2017 11:15:23 +0000 ShootingStar 2783435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a big proponent of do whatever you want. If you're not a fan of family holidays or prefer to do your own thing, that's totally cool to me and your Aunt will have to deal. </p> <p>But at the same time I will say that I don't think 40 minutes is that far, and personally I'd probably do Christmas Eve with them so we could put in the family time but still have our own Christmas morning. Also, I felt like Christmas with a baby was still pretty flexible. We went to my parents' the first year and it was fine. But this year with a 4 year old, the Santa stuff will be in full swing and we will definitely be doing Christmas day in our own house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783398 Wed, 01 Nov 2017 09:23:05 +0000 Adira 2783398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: @alphagam84: Definitely! We're a family of introverts, so staying home is sooooo relaxing whereas going out and having to make conversation can be really draining. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783396 Wed, 01 Nov 2017 09:07:22 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2783396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alphagam84: it's not a big deal if that's what you want to do. If your ideal Christmas is being in your PJs all day eating Santa cookies then getting showered, dressed, driving, making conversation, and plus maybe bringing a gift or making a dish to the celebration is a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783388 Wed, 01 Nov 2017 08:35:39 +0000 avivoca 2783388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Once we had kids, we mandated that we would be doing Christmas morning at our house. So we do a lot of traveling beforehand and spend a couple of days with my ILs before Christmas Eve. We drive home that morning and then do Christmas morning at our house. In the afternoon, we go to my parent's house (they live 40 minutes away). I grew up traveling for Christmas but we always did Christmas morning at our house and I'm continuing that tradition. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783375 Wed, 01 Nov 2017 07:06:37 +0000 Adira 2783375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alphagam84: Growing up, we used to go to my grandparents for Christmas every year and spend it with them, aunts, uncles, and cousins. My brother and I really hated it. Once we started staying home and just having Christmas with our nuclear family, it was soooooo much better! We loved having Christmas all to ourselves. I want that for my kids!</p> <p>That's not to say we don't see people during the holiday season though. We'll visit family and see grandparents and cousins throughout the week or on the weekends surrounding Christmas. Just not on Christmas day itself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783368 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 23:44:45 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2783368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: just do what you want! It's not unreasonable to stay home, I think most people will understand. </p> <p>For us we have gone to relatives sort of nearby, we've traveled out of town, we've stayed home. Dh often works holidays so we don't get too attached to any strict traditions as far as what we do on a specific calendar date. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783353 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 19:08:23 +0000 Littlebit7 2783353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just be aware this as the first time of many times you will likely encounter this problem/situation. We set the tone early that we pretty much do what we want around holidays. If it works for schedules, we travel, if we want to stay home, we stay. We don't feel guilty. Our family lives a 6-8 hour drive from us. We've travelled at thanksgiving two years but sometimes just don't feel like it so we don't go. . If we go on vacation sometimes we invite the grandparents. At Christmas typically we go on vacation...because it's the only guaranteed block of real time off my husband gets with his demanding work.<br /> Bottom line: you make the best decision for your family. Don't feel guilty. If you want a quiet nuclear family Christmas at home, just do it and don't worry about what people will think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783321 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 14:50:12 +0000 alphagam84 2783321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's a big deal to drive 40 mins to see a relative on Christmas Eve or Christmas. We normally do Christmas Eve at my sisters house (25 mins away) or my cousins house (40 mins away). I wouldn't want to drive hours or spend the entire holiday away but I don't think a meal for a few hours is a big deal. I think it is silly of people to declare they'll never go anywhere on Christmas Day and expect everyone to come to them once they have kids. If two families have kids, does that just mean you'll never see each other on Christmas? I don't get the big deal with going to another person's house for part of a holiday when they are in town. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783307 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 14:05:57 +0000 DesertDreams88 2783307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For young married life and young 2 or less kids, we alternate Christmas at home and Christmas across the country with my family. DH's family doesn't care much about Christmas day, their dad was a police officer so they always "rescheduled" holidays due to work. </p> <p>When we have 2 kids toddler age or more, or 3 kids, we will stay here. We will see in-state family (ILs) on other days, and out-of-state family is welcome to come whenever they can afford it (my family). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783302 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 13:32:34 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2783302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: sounds awesome. </p> <p>We basically live in cottage country and it's so nice here. But we travel back to where our parents live (mine and in laws live 5 mins apart from each other). One of these times we will stay at our house.... 🙄</p> <p>I say stay at your place and if no one wants to come to you, that's fine. Their loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783299 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 13:21:55 +0000 birdofafeather 2783299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we traveled the first two holidays because we lived 2 hours away and wanted to see our families. the following christmas (DD2's first at 8 weeks old), we have stayed at home for both christmas eve and christmas day and family traveled to us around those days. the next year, DH was working christmas day (he's a firefighter) so we traveled to his station!</p> <p>all that being said is, we want our kids to wake up in their own home and we won't travel on christmas day unless DH is working (we're closer to family now 30 minutes-1 hour). we always travel about 1 hour on christmas eve to see DH's extended family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783297 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 13:13:52 +0000 misolee 2783297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should do whatever you want that feels right for your family. Like someone earlier stated, that can look different year after year and depending on circumstances. Unless family is far away and Christmas is the only time you guys get together. Then, you might just have to suck it up and travel to family. My brother married couple of years ago, and for Christmas, they always travel to us bc all of our extended family is here. It’s the only time he and his wife can get time off and they make it a point to come here to visit. This year, he’s bringing his six month old. I’m sure traveling will be hard but it will be only time family gets together. </p> <p>But I don’t count 40-50 min as far away. So in this circumstance, you are not limited to seeing family just on holidays. So you should def spend it the way you want to without feeling family guilt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783284 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 12:16:57 +0000 cyndistar3 2783284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do Christmas at home every year, if other people want to come that's great, if not we will make plans to go to their place on a different day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783282 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 12:12:49 +0000 MsBAM 2783282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It’s an aunt that wanted Christmas at her house. It’s always at her house. Now that we’re older with a baby now too we’ve been hosting dinners on holidays the last couple years (Easter, Thanksgiving etc). She chooses not to come when we host bc the drive and says she is busy. </p> <p> Anyway I think we’re just going to tell people on both of our sides that we’re staying home with LO for his first Xmas but kinda have an open door policy and tell people they are welcome to come over! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783279 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 12:02:39 +0000 PawPrints 2783279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your question feels a little strange to me, since you don't name who this relative is, and it seems like most people are assuming it's a grandparent (which I feel like is how most of these power struggles get started). If this person has only seen your LO once then they must not be that close, so why on earth would they expect you to spend Christmas with them? Just answer the question honestly. You also didn't mention that this person has even invited you to come to their house for Christmas, so, there's really nothing to disagree about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783271 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 11:43:07 +0000 JLC53 2783271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sort of fell into hosting the holidays and I love it. I host thanksgiving and christmas eve. We purchased my husband's family home after my IL's passed away and that was the house that hosted thanksgiving and christmas eve every year and everyone just kept coming over. This will be our 4th year in the house. My side of the family locally is very small and have come to our house christmas eve the last 4 years as well too!. We normally go to their house on New Years Day and don't see each other on Thanksgiving. We do travel to my husband's sister's house every christmas afternoon for late lunch/early dinner, but I don't mind. I have everyone over christmas eve and a peaceful christmas morning with immediate family at home . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783264 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 11:23:59 +0000 snowjewelz 2783264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both my girls were born in December so they absolutely were home for their first Christmas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783261 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 11:07:22 +0000 Adira 2783261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I remember growing up that we used to travel to my grandparents for Christmas and my brother and I HATED it. Eventually we stopped and just had Christmas at home with our nuclear family and it was soooooo much more enjoyable! So I vowed that when I had kids, I wouldn't travel for Christmas anymore.</p> <p>We now invite people to our house for Christmas morning/lunch. My parents love coming to our house and celebrating Christmas with our family. But some of my in-laws are huge on hosting, so they never come. No biggy! That's their choice. They know my stance on the matter.</p> <p>Christmas Eve and Christmas are always at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783259 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 11:06:37 +0000 Mamag511 2783259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We pretty much told all our family that once we had kids we were having Christmas at our house. Everyone is invited if they want to come, but we weren’t going anywhere. So far it’s been good, but it could get interesting once my sil starts to have kids. I think it’s fine to say you are staying home and starting your own traditions though!<br /> ETA - we do travel to our families for Easter and thanksgiving though, so that’s one of the main reasons why I don’t feel bad putting my foot down about traveling at Xmas! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783257 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 11:01:32 +0000 petitenoisette 2783257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I totally agree that the situation may need to change based on different family members' needs at certain times.</p> <p>We do Christmas am now at our house and then usually head down to my parents about an hour away at some point in the afternoon. Sometimes we are down there on Xmas eve too for a party at one of my friend's parents house but we drive home after. This year I think we're doing Xmas afternoon/dinner either at our house or my sisters. So we are trying to hold to the xmas morning tradition at home but then still see our other family members later that day. My DH's family lives 4+ hours away so we have decided that basically we will always just plan to visit them sometime after Christmas. My ILs can't travel due to health issues. They are thankfully very understanding and flexible (small family on that side, we're the only ones with a kid). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783244 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 10:50:54 +0000 Alba4 2783244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ug, the drama around holidays!!!</p> <p>We went to my parents’ house for DS1’s first Xmas and the my inlaws’ house for Xmas #2. Once our older DS turned 3, we stated to all family that we are no longer traveling for Xmas. We want the boys to experience waking up on Xmas morning in their own home.</p> <p>Last year my inlaws stayed The 24th and 25th with us, plus we hosted my SIL and her boyfriend for Christmas dinner. </p> <p>This year we’re having a mellow Xmas eve and Christmas morning just our nuclear family. Then for the afternoon/dinner we’ll go to my parents’ house (they live @45 min away). My brother’s family as well as some of my aunts will be there too. My mom is upset we won’t sleep over anymore (my brother’s family does), but this is the tradition we want!</p> <p>There is nothing wrong with creating your own traditions! Go for it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783242 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 10:48:07 +0000 psw27 2783242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had our LOs first Christmas at home. My parents chose to come to us that year since all of our family is at least a 3 hour flight away. </p> <p>We fly to our families now, even thought we have a new LO but our families all live in much better weather and much bigger houses so we take advantage and treat it like a vacation. Maybe someday we will want to be "home" but for now the travel works. </p> <p>That being said, I have no problem saying no someday if it doesn't work for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783241 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 10:46:36 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2783241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO was 8 months old too during his first Christmas. We celebrated at home and made Christmas off limits for visitors so we could have a low key Christmas. We opened presents in front of a wall mirror in our bedroom, which we surely would not have done if we had company over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783240 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 10:46:19 +0000 erinbaderin 2783240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We travel for Christmas, but it's kind of our choice. My husband's family all lives overseas so we just have my parents and my brother to factor in. A few years ago my parents moved full time to the cottage, which is beautiful at Christmas - frozen lake, lots of snow - and our kids love it, so we all go there. For my older son's first Christmas I wanted it to be just us so we did Christmas morning at our house and then drove to the cottage, but a 4 hour drive on Christmas day wasn't that much fun. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783232 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 10:39:57 +0000 Mrs D 2783232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a relatively small family, so its pretty easy to find a nice middle ground.</p> <p>Christmas Eve, my sisters and I generally have arrangements with our In Laws, or in laws families.</p> <p>Christmas Day we alternate between my house and my sisters house every other year. Our other sister lives out of state...so she is always in town and without a hosting location. It's worked for us. We take it easy on what time the festivities start (usually around noon) and there is no real structure to it (strolling food, informal activities) - just really a time to hang out with family, eat and open gifts. Its fun to get all the littles together.</p> <p>For a short period of time DH thought we were going to be seeing his family AND my family on Christmas. I put my foot down and said no. I have no interest in rushing between several places.</p> <p>We are still sorting out our Christmas Eve traditions, I think I may like just a dinner at our house or maybe my IL's before going to church. I like church on Christmas Eve, but our kids are just too little yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783228 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 10:23:58 +0000 looch 2783228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was a week old on his first Christmas so we didn't actually go anywhere that year, but we travel for Christmas. I actually don't mind it, but I recognize that we have the fewest number of family members (3), we can easily move around and we have the means to do so. I think it's really difficult to just say "this is how it's going to be" when the babies start being born. It's okay if that happens for the first kid, but then what happens when your siblings have kids and they do the same? </p> <p>I just think it has to be a fluid conversation. What happens when someone is too old and can't travel? What happens when someone loses a job and can't afford the cost? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783219 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 09:54:32 +0000 youboots 2783219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It’s fine.</p> <p>My MIL and Grandma were born on Christmas so we don’t really have the choice to never leave although I would prefer it. However this year we will be traveling for the first time ever which I’m excited about.</p> <p>I dont think scorekeeping helps in these situations so I would just let people know they are welcome. You have just as much of a right to stay home as they do. </p> <p>I tend to think in general whoever has the most/youngest child should not have to leave to see people. I have close friends who just came over for the first time in 6+ months because they have an infant. On the flip side our friends who have a 3 month old want to come to us since they have not been over to our place for awhile for our Christmas celebration. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783214 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 09:44:34 +0000 MaryM 2783214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my family, my parents made the decision that once they had grandkids, they wouldn't ask their kids to commit to anything on Christmas day. </p> <p>We always had to get to my grandmother's for lunch and it was so stressful to fit in breakfast, church, and presents all before leaving. So my family has usually gotten together the day after Christmas. </p> <p>I think it's fine to put your foot down on what you're doing for one day. And if you don't want to travel at all this year, that's fine too. As long as you aren't dictating to other people what they should do to accommodate you. </p> <p>If someone gets their panties in a bunch because you say "thanks, but no thanks" to an invite...that's their problem. Not yours. If you invite them over and they don't show up, also not your problem. </p> <p>But if it's immediate family, I think it's only kind to try to form some sort of compromise...Like, visiting at a time that's convenient for you, or suggesting a day the week after Christmas that might work or something like that. </p> <p>I don't think the holidays are the right time to pull the "You never visit me so I'm not visiting you" card just for spite. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babys-first-christmas-at-home#post-2783212 Tue, 31 Oct 2017 09:41:23 +0000 wrkbrk 2783212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same as others. We made a family rule that Christmas and Christmas Eve will always be spent at home. Other people are welcome to join, but we won't be traveling - even to see in town relatives!</p> <p>Now Thanksgiving on the other hand is a free for all - different city every year and we always are the ones to travel. It also happens to be DS's birthday. But I am ok with this trade off, plus the travel the week of his birthday always makes it festive. :) </p>