https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 14:29:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2619010 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 19:17:40 +0000 cam 2619010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's definitely good to talk to her tonight. You could also say that even though it might not seem like a big risk to her, it's a big deal to you and you need to be able to trust she'll follow suit if she's going to be looking after LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618947 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:53:48 +0000 MrsLilybugg 2618947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: yes thanks! My cheeks<br /> Are<br /> Red right now so she'll see that it did affect me ! Hopefully she doesn't sweep this away as "oh it's just her being crazy" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618946 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:52:24 +0000 MrsLilybugg 2618946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: the only reason I decided to<br /> Print it is because all summer long I spoke to her about safety practices and sleeping (as in: "I never let her sleep on a couch or bed"; "our friend's baby died so we are super vigilant" ) Etc and I told her "only sleep her in swing because that way she can't roll over and suffocate"- so like she know it's a concern for me. And still she let her sleep on bed and "didn't want to move her and wake her up" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618945 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:50:17 +0000 mrbee 2618945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsLilybugg: Sounds good to me! Maybe tone it down a bit, and say you had trouble concentrating on work? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618944 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:49:21 +0000 MrsLilybugg 2618944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: she told me today while at work and am on way home now to them - maybe I'll say how I legit couldn't function rest of day ?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618943 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:47:10 +0000 mrbee 2618943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just mention that you've been wrestling with post-partum anxiety and it makes you worry a lot about things... and that you couldn't sleep after you heard that she fell asleep with the baby sleeping on the bed, that you kept thinking about that other baby who died in similar circumstances. And ask her if she could make sure that it didn't happen again?</p> <p>If you position it as a request and more about your anxiety than you, then I could see it being maybe better received? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618942 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:44:33 +0000 kiddosc 2618942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsLilybugg: Do you think having her read a brochure will mean more to her than you telling her? I don't think you should have to provide evidence for the way you want your child cared for. You're the mom, that's good enough reason to do things the way you want them done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618941 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:41:11 +0000 MrsLilybugg 2618941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: ok good call on my overkill with taping them up. </p> <p>Another thought was talking about it tonight then giving her the brochure Thursday under the guise of "leaving this for mothers helper in case she has to watch the baby for a moment" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618937 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:32:58 +0000 kiddosc 2618937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's overkill to print out SIDS recommendations and tape them up on the wall. I think that's likely to make her feel like you think she's incapable. I would talk to her when you get home tonight. Let her know that it's really not ok, and reiterate that the baby should only sleep in the above mentioned locations. Remind her of the tragedy with your friend's baby and that while a lot of the time nothing happens, some of the times something does. (to ward off the, well I did it with my kids argument) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618935 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:31:42 +0000 avivoca 2618935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsLilybugg: If she is going to put baby down on a bed, it should have been the crib. There is no chance of her falling asleep next to her in that unless it's on the floor next to the crib. I would bring it up tonight and also remind her the next time she watches the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618932 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:28:46 +0000 MrsLilybugg 2618932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: I'm leaning toward reminding her next time she watches the baby, instead of bringing it up tonight ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618930 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:28:03 +0000 MrsLilybugg 2618930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@IRunForFun: it was nonchalant and "I ised to<br /> Fall asleep with my kids too" she added! I think she added that because she realized alarms were going off in my head </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618929 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:23:47 +0000 IRunForFun 2618929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsLilybugg: Well, my first question is, what was her motivation for even telling you this had happened? Was her attitude along the lines of telling you and apologizing because she realizes it was a mistake or was she just telling you about it nonchalantly as an anecdote? If it's the first then it seems like it might really be overkill to print off a bunch of information about SIDS because she likely knows all of that and felt really badly about what happened. And it could definitely sour the relationship. If it was the latter and she didn't seem to think it was a big deal then I would think it would be sufficient to have a chat and let her know that really can't happen again, that if she's going to set the baby down anywhere while she's asleep it has to be in the swing or RNP and not the bed so she has no chance to fall asleep herself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618926 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 16:18:06 +0000 BSB 2618926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are the parent. You have your own intuition. If it bothers you and you think it is important enough to bring up, then bring it up. </p> <p>I'm being hypocritical because I have problems with this as well. I know my MIL is doing us a favor but at some point, the safety and my preferences needs to be verbalized. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/babysitter-and-sids-safety-help#post-2618917 Fri, 09 Sep 2016 15:59:37 +0000 MrsLilybugg 2618917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Help<br /> So my mother in law is kind enough to watch my baby two days a week. I reiterated to her over and over that the baby should only sleep in the swing buckled, or in her arms. NEVER on the couch. (We have a friend whose baby died after rolling over on the couch after being swaddled and lain on side by the grandmother. She knows this incident too!!!!)</p> <p>Ok. So while our three-year old was downstairs being watched by a friend of ours, my mother in law went upstairs to nap the baby , who is 5.5 months old. She only sleeps in rock and play, in snugabunny swing, or in someone's arms (while we are awake). I'm hyper vigilant with this.<br /> I never<br /> Fall asleep next to her for fear of rolling over her or not catching HER roll over. She is used to incline sleeping too so never had rolled over on a bed asleep.<br /> So she said she put the baby on the bed intending to watch her and didn't want to pick her up and wake her. And before she knew it, she fell asleep too.</p> <p>Cue internal alarms. </p> <p>I am on the Phone at work, and didn't know how to react, and also first day back so had to get off the phone quickly. </p> <p>But I know this is not ok. I just don't know how to handle it? I printed out a SIDS brochure : </p> <p>Option 1:<br /> do I discuss it tonight and give tonight? I don't want to be too naggy and sour her, especially after she's doing us a favor.<br /> Or<br /> Option two:<br /> Give it to her and discuss NEXT time she wAtches the baby? That way it's also fresh in her mind ? And am totally printing these guidelines and taping them upstairs too! </p> <p>Ugh I can't function now 😱😱 (eta: post partum anxiety ) </p>