https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 12 Jun 2026 20:36:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/3#post-2701156 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 12:38:12 +0000 Phillybaby2013 2701156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are in the same boat and it weighs heavy on me. More so recently because B is starting prek in the fall at our Parish school and we are having to rearrange to accommodate the schedule. We have our routine down pat but trying to imagine doing homework and school stuff stresses me out. Recently Ben has become more aware of how long our days are and said to me that he doesn't want to go to school because it takes so many hours for me to pick him up. :crying: Just about broke my heart in two. I've been thinking alot about switching schedules with a coworker and be on 3rd shift. 1030p-630a Without cutting my hours (which I don't want to do and can't afford right now anyway) it's the only solution I can come up with to be more accessible for when they are in elementary school. I could drop them off in the morning, sleep during the day and be there when they come home, go to school events, meetings, after school sports and activities, homework and still put them to bed. I just can't decide if it's worth the toll it probably would take on me physically. I just feel so terrible that I can't be there more for them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/3#post-2701125 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 11:33:02 +0000 Mamaof2 2701125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: agree!! Now that my kids are in Elementary school I went PT at work just to make things flow easier and it has been amazing!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2701122 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 11:27:19 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2701122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Yes and my wonderful mom was a SAHM who did pinterest style things before pinterest was a thing. She always tells me, "You dont want your daughter to be the kid that is missing out or left out because you weren't prepared". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2701099 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 10:27:48 +0000 looch 2701099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: I think part of it is that we're told as parents, once our kids are in preschool or kindergarten at the latest, that our participation in the school is extremely important and that creates an environment where, at least for me, I feel guilty if I am not participating. That adds another layer on top of it that I didn't have when my son was in daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2701081 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 10:04:43 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2701081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: just looking at this thread now and agree agree...And my older isn't even in kinder! Just pre k. But there are theme days and parties and sports etc. I blew up at my husband a few times this year for forgetting to check the cubby and missing a key communication on his pickup day. I think the trick is just having a family culture that prioritizes what matters (this is individual of course) Dress up day at school may have to be just the basic ears and a hat vs. Pinterest. Our kid does pull out soccer instead of after school soccer. Etc etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2701067 Wed, 22 Feb 2017 09:57:50 +0000 nwm 2701067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD perfect, thanks! i'm going to give it a try! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2700897 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 21:52:26 +0000 JennyD 2700897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nellywm: mine is a "WeMo" enabled Crock Pot brand. I love it. </p> <p>You can also get a WeMo outlet. It plugs into your regular outlet and you plug an appliance into it. Then you can control the power to the appliance remotely. So, if you had a crock pot that was not digital, but had a knob to turn, you could plug that into the WeMo outlet, turn the crock pot on low (or whatever) then wait until noon before you turned on the outlet. So the crockpot wouldn't start until you turned on the outlet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2700599 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 11:44:47 +0000 808love 2700599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is completely on board.<br /> 6:15 DH starts making breakfast and packing lunch. He moves very slow so he wakes up early so I'm not rushing him when I wake up<br /> 630 wake up get myself ready<br /> 645 LO up getting herself mostly and comes to table with shoes and socks on/I am finishing getting ready<br /> 700 LO eats breakfast and I finish her hair.<br /> 7:10 out the door<br /> 730 at school<br /> evening<br /> 3:30 free<br /> 5pm cook dinner, simple meals on weekdays<br /> 530 eat dinner, throw dishes in dishwasher<br /> 600 free<br /> 730 bath. brush teeth<br /> 815 lights out<br /> free<br /> We don't clean much. Sad to say. That would be the thing that gives to feel a little more "free". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2700500 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 09:29:43 +0000 Mrs D 2700500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I havent read the whole thread but I think these threads are great for resources - so I'm adding my two cents then will go back and read all the responses over the day!</p> <p>DH and I both have demanding jobs - fortunately we are both at points in our careers where we can be flexible. We have two girls, 3.5 and 1 year. I do drop offs M-F at 8am, I pick up 3 days and get home at 5:45pm those nights. DH picks up two days and I get home at 5:10pm those nights. My little one goes to bed at 7 (process starts) and my older one is right after. Here is what works for us:</p> <p>1) I prep the crap out of food on Sunday. All my breakfasts, snacks and lunches. All the parts of dinners I can.</p> <p>2) I plan at least 2 hands off meals, this can mean crock pot, casserole or DH BBQing. This way I have two nights where its basically done when I walk in the door. If I worry about the girls eating our meals that week I make a separate casserole for them (Mac, Spaghetti Bake, something easy I can have on the table for them quickly throughout the week).</p> <p>3) The nights DH picks up I use my extra 35 mins to: 1) get a dinner going, 2) throw in some laundry, 3) pick up. Its amazing what I can get done with 35 mins alone in my house!</p> <p>4) when the kids go to bed I try to stay productive. Some nights I have to work (half my team sits in Asia so 9pm conf calls work great) but others I use it to fold laundry, clean the kitchen, pick up, prep tomorrows dinner, workout, etc.</p> <p>5) I go to bed early - DH and I are in bed at 10pm. This makes me getting up at 5/5:30am easier. My girls usually sleep til 6:30am so thats another 1-1.5hrs. Granted I am getting ready for some of it.</p> <p>6) Dry Shampoo...gives me so much time back.</p> <p>7) Meal services for busy weeks. If we have a busy weekend and grocery shopping is not an option we will use HomeChef to have meals delivered.</p> <p>DH and I plan to hiring a cleaning lady this summer. And this will be the first year we hire a lawn service to mow our grass. We will likely hire a service for just 1 time a month and see how that goes.</p> <p>As others have mentioned - this phase to me is about enjoying the ride - not trying to be perfect. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2700336 Mon, 20 Feb 2017 20:36:33 +0000 purplelilac 2700336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Disclaimer - I didn't read every response and I only work PT.</p> <p>But my 2 cents- hire a great nanny. Seriously then you can avoid drop off/pick up issues, they can start dinner, help with laundry and basic cleaning/picking up around the house. (Clearly I love my nanny). With one kid it can be pricey but once you have more than 1 child the costs is comparable if not cheaper than daycare, especially up here in the NE. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2700131 Mon, 20 Feb 2017 13:21:06 +0000 nwm 2700131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>does anyone have specific recs for a wifi-enabled crock pot? this thread has inspired me to make better use of my morning time to tackle our dinnertime problems! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2699568 Sat, 18 Feb 2017 09:37:12 +0000 JennyD 2699568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Toad: I have a Bluetooth crockpot! Best present ever! I can turn it on with my phone! The only issue is that sometimes I forget... It's A&amp;W those nights... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2699209 Fri, 17 Feb 2017 11:37:18 +0000 sarac 2699209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I second everything that everyone else has said. Mostly, I would drastically lower my expectations, and I would hire as much help as I could reasonably afford. Can you hire a dog walker (or a neighborhood teen) to come over in the evening or the afternoon and walk the dog? Can you get a housekeeper? Can you send your laundry out to be washed and folded? The dog walking I would especially do, unless the walk is good exercise for you.</p> <p>I would also drastically lower my expectations for food. An avocado and an english muffin is a wonderful meal! Add some fruit and milk and you've got a great, complete meal. I'd be eating stuff like that myself, honestly. I would eat whatever the healthiest, cheapest, easiest food possible was. I would probably make a list of 10 very easy meals, pick 5 each week, and just rotate each week. Really simple protein/veg/starch stuff that you can set up in a crock pot or a rice cooker or on a roasting pan in 3 minutes each morning. Or maybe just a lot of really easy stuff from trader joe's. I would use a crock pot and a rice cooker every single day. </p> <p>I would also find any way possible to get in 15 minutes of exercise in the morning, because I need that for my mental health. I love the NYT's 7 minute workout app, I just do it twice. Or 10 minutes of jumproping and 5 minutes of pushups. My mental health requires it, and for me, it would be well worth 15 minutes less sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2699044 Thu, 16 Feb 2017 18:06:41 +0000 gingerbebe 2699044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah we have the one they sell at Costco for pets for $300 and like it. It works better on the carpet than our hard surfaces and since it can run every single day if you want it doesn't really let stuff accumulate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2699031 Thu, 16 Feb 2017 17:17:27 +0000 gotkimchi 2699031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: does you roomba work? I want one to help us with cleaning but have heard mixed reviews </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2699022 Thu, 16 Feb 2017 16:58:15 +0000 gingerbebe 2699022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskm129: we didn't have a housecleaner with our first child and didn't start using one until I was 9 months pregnant with DS2. My husband is not bothered by mess and I'm not PARTICULARLY neat, but having a messy house just makes me feel frazzled and having a DIRTY house makes me feel like a bad parent. </p> <p>I told DH we had to keep the house neater because we would have another baby crawling and mouthing everything and because I wasn't going to have time to scrub stoves and bathrooms (and he wasn't going to do it). So I sorta didn't leave him an option. We got the Roomba and the cleaner. I also told him that the neater we were the less likely our kids would be sick (which is his pet peeve). So we keep Lysol wipes everywhere and we just habitually wipe counters and toys and stuff down all day long because DH is like KID GERMS EVERYWHERE!!! Lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698691 Thu, 16 Feb 2017 10:09:04 +0000 hellobeeboston 2698691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: they make new crockpots that are WiFi enabled so you can stop it from cooking remotely or start it a few hours after you leave! cool right?!</p> <p>The meals I make ahead that will keep are: lasagna, shepherds pie, chili, and meat sauce. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698673 Thu, 16 Feb 2017 09:48:51 +0000 Bluebonnet 2698673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskm129: there are times when I just do Mommastong and other times do Mommastrong and other things. To be clear, it's a very challenging, but accessible workout. </p> <p>I love a lot of her themes "begin again" and "winning ugly". She encourages you to forgive yourself and "begin again" if you get sidetracked by life and neglect self care/workingout. And she promotes "winning ugly" to encourage you to workout out, even when it's not ideal or hard (your kids are hanging on you, your dog is undefoot, etc). If you wait for the perfect moment to workout, it will never happen (especially when you are a mom). </p> <p>If you are at all curious, give it a try. The Hook is her intro program, she also had a Diastasis Recti course and the Daily 15. Its only $2 a month. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698504 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 21:01:05 +0000 MrsADS 2698504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. toad have considered that (or a programmable crock pot) but don't want meat sitting out for 4-5 hours on the counter in the crock pot at room temp :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698498 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 20:55:59 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2698498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: I would get a programmable outlet cord so that you could have the crockpot turn on at the right time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698490 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 20:42:12 +0000 MrsADS 2698490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Love reading everyone's suggestions!</p> <p>I would love to hear what your favorite meals to "batch cook" are - things that can go straight into the freezer. </p> <p>I love my crock pot but can't use it on work days - if I put something in at 7am, by the time we eat at 5:30 or 6 it would be mush. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698484 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 20:36:00 +0000 Anagram 2698484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: Both kids have a white noise machine--we are in a small condo and the bedrooms are right off the living room and we unload the dishwasher, watch movies, whatever and they are fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698411 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 19:09:14 +0000 mrskm129 2698411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluebonnet - does the mommastrong satisfy your workout desire or do you do more on top of that? I'm sure everyone's different, just wondering if it's challenging because 15 minutes sounds great! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698374 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 17:31:57 +0000 Bluebonnet 2698374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A few things that help us:<br /> 1) Cleaning service every other week (SO worth the $$). I find we pick up more because "the cleaning ladies are coming"</p> <p>2) Doubling recipes and freezing extras - soups, sauces, marinades, casseroles, etc). Its hardly more work to double recipes and freeze the extra. If I'm marinating meat, I marinate 2 or 3 times what we need for dinner and freeze the extras. This is huge for crazy weeks</p> <p>3) Establish a laundry routine (load the washer at night/before work and set the delay start timer, put laundry in the dryer when you get home from work, fold while watching TV). </p> <p>4) Rely on simple meals (kids love "breakfast for dinner")</p> <p>5) Make myself a priority and workout regularly (I'm cranky and depressed if I feel like all I am doing is doing things for others). I love mommastrong.com - 15 minute HIIT workouts for $2 a month geared to moms. </p> <p>6) Create fun traditions our whole family can look forward to (Friday night movie night, pizza night, etc) - it makes life more fun and seem less like a grind</p> <p>7) Training LOs to pick up after themselves (put your pjs in the hamper, put the toy away, etc) - it doesn't change things overnight, but it certainly reduces the number of things I'm picking up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698279 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 16:11:57 +0000 gingerbebe 2698279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: Yeah we live in a single story house but we run white noise machines and humidifiers in their rooms and they don't seem to hear much - at least in that initial stretch of deep sleep. Early morning is another issue - if one of us even pees we hear our toddler babbling in his bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698256 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 15:54:23 +0000 Mrsbells 2698256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: we are in an apartment now and we do a bit of washing up after they go to bed but we play white noise rainfall sounds so they dont hear a thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698251 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 15:46:28 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2698251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Im surprised how many of you can cook/clean after the kids go to bed. We have a 1 story house but too much banging around and they can hear us! So we have to keep it pretty quiet once they go to bed. Making lunches is hard enough sometimes </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698236 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 15:20:34 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2698236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I should also add that I only cook 3, maybe 4x per week. I think someone else mentioned but make bigger batches! Sunday night is also Monday dinner, one easy thing like breakfast for dinner or soup/grilled cheese on Tuesday, Wednesday is also Thursday dinner, frozen pizza Friday night. Saturday I grocery shop and have more time so I don't count it, but I often make extra and freeze for one night during the week so that reduces cooking too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698106 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 12:56:39 +0000 snowjewelz 2698106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We made do with just one but with another one now and me going back to work in a month.. I'm so anxious about how we'll get everything done! I think #1 is that my expectations will have to be lowered once again haha. </p> <p>We don't have money in the budget to hire cleaners, so I think I just have to be even more disciplined with how I do things now... </p> <p>1) We don't bathe every night. That def cuts out 15 min to half an hour every night. In the winter we bathe even less; and in the summer we still may not always bathe nightly but give thorough wipe downs. </p> <p>2) After they go to bed, I just have to get out (currently we each stay in the room with 1 kid till they are asleep). No slacking around looking at my phone. I do a super quick clean up of the living room (as much as we ask our 2 yr old to clean up, it's not perfect). DH cooks and will try to do dishes between dinner/bed time but whoever gets out first will finish dishes. I'll do a wipe down of dining room/kitchen. Pick up/tidy anything else that need to. Then it's prepping for the next day. THEN I try to spread out chores to do through out the week whether it be laundry, mopping or cleaning bathrooms. I try not to have chores on weekend nights to give myself a break </p> <p>My lunch hour at work is usually spent paying bills, making appointments, or buying household stuff at Target, etc. So at least I'm productive in that manner when I WOH. </p> <p>There really isn't a good balance... But I get really stressed out and can't enjoy myself if my house is dirty/messy and if my chores aren't done, so I guess I don't mind only having 30 min to myself at the end of night if it means sitting in a clean/organized house~ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balance-for-woh-parents/page/2#post-2698094 Wed, 15 Feb 2017 12:45:21 +0000 youboots 2698094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are not in the exact same situation but here are a few tips that help us.</p> <p>A Housecleaner is essential for us. They come every 3-4 weeks I'd prefer every other week when we can reasonably afford it.</p> <p>About 1x a month we get a hello fresh box- there can be a fair amount of prep but I like finding new recipes</p> <p>We have several ready to go meals in our freezer- our favorites are to make spaghetti sauce in bulk and preseasoned taco meat- then we toss the sauce or meat in the fridge the night before.</p> <p>I do laundry all on the same day 1-2 times a week and fold during naptime- on the weekends I'll fold and watch a movie with DH.</p> <p>ETA we just did click list grocery pickup- game changer. </p>