https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 07:56:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847406 Wed, 26 Sep 2018 10:25:46 +0000 periwinklebee 2847406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is still too little for any of this, so just speaking from my own experience as a kid...</p> <p>I agree that four birthday parties in one weekend sounds insane. The only thing I would be careful about is not to make her resent the lessons. My husband had to attend Chinese school as a kid - he didn't enjoy it so found ways to be lazy, i.e. in copying the characters, and didn't retain much in the long run since he didn't want to do it and resented it taking the place of other activities or social events on the weekends. Similar issue with my parents making me take piano. I'd say the exception is swim lessons, since drowning is a leading cause of death so more a safety thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847379 Wed, 26 Sep 2018 08:55:09 +0000 looch 2847379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've noticed that as the kids get older, the birthday parties start to thin out and they start inviting only a few friends, so this becomes less of an issue.</p> <p>I've also noticed that most all kids have something on Saturday morning, so the parties start happening on Sunday afternoon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847364 Wed, 26 Sep 2018 07:51:03 +0000 Anagram 2847364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gestalt: My kiddos have dance on saturday mornings, and now my oldest has soccer on Saturdays as well. We pay a lot for dance, so we don't miss for birthday parties. Usually birthday parties are in the afternoon anyway, but once we had a birthday that was 11-1, and we went directly from dance and arrived around 12 and were there basically just in time for the pizza/cake/singing part. But if a birthday were 10-12 and we had to miss the entire dance class, I would probably RSVP no and just say we are sorry to miss but we already have plans. We already miss occasionally for our own vacations, and saturdays are better than weekdays for us, plus we get invited to a ton of birthdays (it seems like one almost every week), so I don't feel bad saying no to some of them. If it's a close friend or a favorite classmate, we still buy a little gift and deliver later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847347 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 22:41:59 +0000 lamariniere 2847347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We try to attend if possible, but I also let my LOs decide. My 4yo was invited to a party last weekend but she didn’t really want to go, so I declined. I suspect it was one of the invite the whole class parties since the school year just started and it was a new kid. As for activities, my kids do all their activities during the week, which gives us more flexibility for parties and such at the weekend. But I know that’s not possible for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847289 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 15:39:25 +0000 psw27 2847289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gestalt: Uh yeah, 4 in one weekend sounds overwhelming! I definitely would not want to do 4 kids birthday parties in one weekend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847266 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 14:39:06 +0000 Madison43 2847266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gestalt: we do weekend swim lessons also. I ended up moving us to an earlier lesson time, not strictly so that we could make every party, but just so it didn’t monopolize our Sunday. Just something to think about in the future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847265 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 14:38:22 +0000 Beehive 2847265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is in a class of 24 kids, and nearly all of them had birthday parties where they invited the entire class. It got to the point where we had no weekend time to do anything but birthday parties, so we started to pick and choose based on how close our son was to the kid in question / how much he wanted to go to a particular party. I definitely don't feel an obligation to go to every whole-class-invited type party we are invited to, especially because the parties we attended had at least 15-20 or so kids attending. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847259 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 14:14:52 +0000 snowjewelz 2847259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd totally just have this be case by case. If your kid doesn't even really know the kid, and/or if those parties cause the most conflict/hassle, then I'd nix those first but try the hardest to make parties of her close friends of maybe parties she explicitly expressed an intent she'd really, really like to go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847256 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 14:12:07 +0000 SupernovaJ 2847256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gestalt: I hear you on this and glad you posted about it. I think we'll have to approach it on a case by case basis as they get older. My DD is four and is in a language school on Saturdays from 9AM-12.30PM. We actually had to move her weekend ballet lessons to weekdays to accommodate this (which was a MAJOR pain because we both work FT outside the home). The language school is also important to us, but we know there will be conflicts. Since it runs the same calendar year as school and is very cost effective (Aug-May), we'd be OK with her missing a few classes throughout the school year as long as she gets the homework assignments ahead of time. For ballet (when it used to be on the weekends), we luckily didn't have many conflicts which was a good thing because the lessons are pricey. Once you miss a few, you sort of have to ask yourself why she's even in ballet class. I feel ya, I think it will be harder as they get older but for now, we are approaching it on a case-by-case basis.</p> <p>ETA: We also did swim lessons for both LOs over the summer and they were pricey. Make-up classes were a pain to schedule so we really tried not to skip any. Luckily their lesson time was set for later in the afternoon so there were no conflicts usually (4pm). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847251 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 14:07:03 +0000 gestalt 2847251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry i should have added that the swim lessons are expensive so it pains me to have her miss one, especially since each term is so short. We definitely compromise as we let her leave both lessons early so she could make it to the party in time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847247 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 13:53:12 +0000 gestalt 2847247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree birthdays are important at this age, and we really make an effort to make it to all of them. We went to 4 last weekend and didn't know 3 of the kids who invited us! She attends language lessons and semi-private swim lessons (no make-up classes). The language lessons are very important to my husband and me. </p> <p>We don't really do activities during the school week because they are impossible to fit in. I have friends whose kids are younger than mine but in competitive dance/hockey/swim and there is no way they would let their kid go to a birthday party over a practice/lesson. </p> <p>Thanks for the input - i figured these things get a little trickier as they get older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847245 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 13:39:22 +0000 lindseykaye 2847245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same as other posters - I think for me it would depend on her age and the type of lesson and how beneficial/serious they are. One alternative would be to try to compromise by getting to the party a bit late vs. leaving the lesson early if that is an option (might not be at a scheduled activity party or one with a short duration). Also, do your lessons have makeup classes which could be an option? My LO was in ballet for a stint and her primary class was Saturday mornings - they were early enough to plan around for the most part but when we had a conflict she was invited to a makeup on Wednesday afternoons. Again, not always an option but could maybe provide a little flexibility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847244 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 13:37:20 +0000 Foodnerd81 2847244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My older daughter is only 5, and I know her well enough that I know she can’t handle too much in one day. So in a case where she was invited to two bday parties in one day, one morning and one afternoon, we only went to the morning one. She would have been a disaster if we tried both. But it’s easier since it was summer and she didn’t see the other girl often so I just didn’t mention the party after we got the invitation. </p> <p>And I agree it depends on what type of lessons. We don’t have many activities on the weekends so it hasn’t come up yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847240 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 13:26:17 +0000 Ajsmommy 2847240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that it depends on what these lessons are. </p> <p>DD is not in any lessons so we try to make all bday party invites. I feel like socializing and growing our "group" is important and I actually feel like the parties are a great time for me to mingle and get to know other parents.... we are still at the age where parents stick around.... If we had a conflict I'd have DD go to the one that she was closest too or try to make time to stop by both parties.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847239 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 13:14:53 +0000 psw27 2847239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Oh yeah, I completely understand - former international figure skater here (and horeseback rider/gymnastic/flute player until my parents made me pick one expensive hobby) - but I did a lot of my hardcore stuff on the weekdays. I also guess I tend to forget that not everyone here on the Bee has little kids anymore - I was pretty deeply into my lessons by 10 or 11 (but not at 5-6 years old). Of course, I also didn't have many friends outside my little skating world! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847238 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 13:10:30 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2847238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: immediately I was thinking horseback lessons or ballet where the child was rather talented. In either those cases the lessons can be expensive and skipping could cause harm in the child’s overall skill development. I’m curious to know more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847234 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 12:59:56 +0000 psw27 2847234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't come up with a hard and fast position on this. I would see how it goes. I guess I see it as a compliment that people wanted to include my child and I would try to make it work. I don't know how old your child is but I can't see my kiddo being in too many "lessons" that are more important than being with his friends. But overall, I'd just try to make it work and figure it out on a case by case basis - does my child like this child a lot? what do I do with my other child? what is the activity? etc. etc.</p> <p>ETA - not meant to be judgey sounding about the lessons. I get it, I took 983 lessons as a kid and they were $$ and time consuming for my family so I completely understand! My kid is also 4 so no real lessons yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847233 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 12:57:57 +0000 Adira 2847233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm curious what type of lessons these are too. We try to make it to birthday parties whenever we can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847230 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 12:55:38 +0000 Mrsbells 2847230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gestalt: in daycare we went to all parties but now in elementary school there are just so many we only go to the ones that DD is very close to or that work with our schedule. Skipping lessons for parties just isnt something I would do </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847218 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 12:36:40 +0000 wrkbrk 2847218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What kind of lessons are you talking about? I think that would determine whether I would want to frequently skip or not. My feeling is bday parties are so important at that age ... ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/balancing-birthday-party-invites#post-2847215 Tue, 25 Sep 2018 12:18:01 +0000 gestalt 2847215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So many birthday party threads, why not add to it? :)</p> <p>Since school started in September, my eldest has received 3 classmate birthday invitations. Two conflicted with weekend lessons but we compromised by allowing her to leave both lessons a little earlier. We only made these exceptions since she is new to the school and playing catch-up getting to know the kids in her class. But we really don't want to set an expectation that social activities will be a priority. We already explained to her why we were compromising, and that we wouldn't always make these exceptions in the future.</p> <p>Can any parents relate, especially ones with school-aged kids? One friend of my daughter told her that she had to choose between two of the birthday invites as they both fell on the same weekend. I'm thinking maybe i can compromise 1-2 lessons per semester/term? Do you let your kids go to all the birthday parties? One weekend was crazy because we had a total of 4 birthday parties! </p>