https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 14:27:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919803 Tue, 20 Oct 2020 06:09:13 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2919803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaG: so funny you mention this - we brought this up yesterday with her and she seemed really intrigued by it. Definitely something I'm going to keep exploring with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919799 Mon, 19 Oct 2020 22:23:35 +0000 MamaCate 2919799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: hi mama! This sounds really hard and draining for both of you! So first, hugs!</p> <p>Second, a few other things that popped into my head:<br /> -I still remember a period in 4th grade when I had a huge tangle in the back of my hair and i refused to let anyone comb it out so I just went to school like that for...a few weeks? I think I finally let my mom do it because I was tired of the looks I was getting. Not really feasible with Covid closures but a possibility to consider “natural consequences” in the future.<br /> -problem solving: someone asked what her problem solving ideas are and I saw you reply that she doesn’t have any. I wonder if you are only asking in the midst of the hair battle or at another time. If it is only when you are both entrenched, it might be worth sitting down separately and letting her know that this is not working for you and calmly brainstorming.<br /> -sometime around this age (7-8?) i ceded hair responsibility to my daughter along the lines of “if you take care of it you can decide length, accessories etc” I still help with tangles or complicated hair styles if asked but it is mostly on her plate not mine. Not sure if she would be ready to take that on or work toward it? Or is there a hair related carrot to dangle? Hair chalk once a week if she cooperates calmly in the evening?</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919787 Mon, 19 Oct 2020 20:36:09 +0000 MamaG 2919787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hair donation. That’s been our solution 3 times now. She’s been willing to forgo her long hair if it’s for the cause. Probably not the one that will work but it’s worth a shot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919781 Mon, 19 Oct 2020 19:21:19 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2919781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meganmp: That's the thing, she doesn't have one and that's what I've been trying to do - present her with options, give her suggestions, etc and she doesn't have anything except frustration. I have a feeling some of it is also feeling limited by not being able to get a haircut and frustrations over other things she can't control like virtual school and all the Covid mess, but yea, this has been a real struggle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919780 Mon, 19 Oct 2020 19:19:04 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2919780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyLayneAZ: I've never heard of that, thanks for the tip! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919767 Mon, 19 Oct 2020 15:28:20 +0000 JennyLayneAZ 2919767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't read through everyone's comments, but in case it wasn't suggested, have you tried Biosilk silk therapy? I use it in my own (very long &amp; thick) hair, and one day out of frustration, tried it on DD's hair (4 1/2 - also long, down to her butt). I've found it to be better than using and detangle spray. And then of course, brush from the bottom up.</p> <p>Other than that, I agree with a braid or something for sleep, that should help combat some of the nighttime tangles. </p> [attach=2517/20/qigu78.337x600.Inked20201018_124448_LI.jpg] [attach=2517/20/qigu7a.600x337.20201018_124441.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919765 Mon, 19 Oct 2020 14:13:19 +0000 meganmp 2919765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm curious- what is her solution? If you put it back on her- Hey, we need to find a solution where you don't have tangled hair- what do you think we should do? What would she say? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919764 Mon, 19 Oct 2020 14:00:23 +0000 poppygirl15 2919764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I was super scared to try cutting DD's hair, too. Then I found this YouTube tutorial. I found it super useful and DD's hair turned out great! <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAmE16ej9IU&#038;t=847s" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAmE16ej9IU&#038;t=847s</a> Just in case you don't want to go to the salon. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919759 Mon, 19 Oct 2020 13:19:49 +0000 ilovepie 2919759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Fwiw my hair is super tangly. My mom never let me have it long because if the tangles ( and because I'd always take it out of whatever she put it in) but after the last time she had cut it short in 5th grade I learned to braid it myself so she would stop getting it cut. I think it was a win-win for both of us. She may need some motivation to be allowed to keep ito long. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919757 Mon, 19 Oct 2020 12:41:27 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2919757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@poppygirl15: This is definitely a must for us, and she does get that trims are necessary for growth, but we've been on the conservative side of Covid things and haircuts have been one of the things we haven't done for any of us. I'm a little nervous about doing it myself but the daily shouting matches might just get me to cave on this and just go get cuts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919754 Mon, 19 Oct 2020 12:04:36 +0000 poppygirl15 2919754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I second what everyone else has said, but wanted to add one other suggestion. My daughter also loves to wear her hair long and I’ve explained that’s fine, but she has to get trims to allow it to continue to grow long and be *healthy*. I always emphasize that the trims are what allow long hair to keep growing *longer* (while keeping it healthy) because DD freaks at the idea that trims are making her hair shorter. The logic seems to work and helps us keep tangles at bay. FWIW, I know she’s due for a trim when tangled get out of control. :wink: During Covid, we’ve used YouTube to learn to trim at home. :happy: GL! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919729 Mon, 19 Oct 2020 09:13:58 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2919729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks, all, very helpful advice. We'll try it and see if we can make this a little less painful for everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919718 Sun, 18 Oct 2020 21:58:46 +0000 PinkElephant 2919718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Solidarity on the tangles/brushing fits. My eight year old now insists on brushing her own long, wavy hair because her dad and I apparently torture her when we brush it....but her brushing is really inadequate, and I have to put my foot down and do it myself. She's improving slightly, but we've had many arguments about how we'll need to have her wear her (gorgeous when cared for, ratty when neglected) hair shorter if she can't care for it herself or cooperate with my care of it.</p> <p>I don't personally notice a difference when brushing, but all three of my girls (eight, six, and four) really like the WetBrush brand brushes. Justice (gag, I know) sells some cute tween-friendly versions (my oldest has a tie-dye one with her initial) if that would help encourage brushing her own hair.</p> <p>I try to have my daughters condition the heck out of their hair and wide-tooth comb it in the shower, and then use various creams/sprays while they brush after their shower. We air-dry in bamboo or microfiber hair towels.</p> <p>A loose braid or braids at night after hair is brushed can help minimize tangling without being too bumpy to sleep on. I know it's easier said than done during bedtime craziness; I need to do this more often than I do currently (but three girls' heads to braid = it doesn't happen very often!)</p> <p>I've also heard good things about silky/satin pillowcases... I haven't tried it, and I'm not sure it would help my eight year old, who has coarser hair, but I think it might work for my four year old, whose hair is still very fine and baby-like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919715 Sun, 18 Oct 2020 21:31:32 +0000 Pollywog 2919715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My hair tangles super easily. Here's what I do. When I shower, I comb through the conditioner with a wide tooth comb before I rinse. Makes a world of difference. I start at the bottom and work my way up.</p> <p>I then wrap my hair as I'm getting dressed, but then unwrap and comb again. I let air dry as long as possible (normally 10 minutes) before I braid it before bed. In the morning I unbraid and it finishes drying.</p> <p> I wear it up whenever I'm being active or outside. The wind creates the worst tangles. I don't worry about putting it up well-- a sloppy pony is fine.</p> <p>I wear mine long, but trims are essential. Once my hair starts splitting, it's impossible to untangle </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919714 Sun, 18 Oct 2020 20:22:06 +0000 Nonimouse 2919714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you maybe French braid for bedtime, if thats when most of the tangling happens? My son loves his long hair, so I have him pull it back in a triple ponytail when he's doing things that tend to leave him more tangled. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919693 Sun, 18 Oct 2020 03:04:44 +0000 SweetCaroline 2919693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actially loathe the wet brush. In my opinion, it is a PIA in very thick hair. But I am probably just impatient! Do you use alligator clips to section the hair while combing it? That would make the wet brush easier.</p> <p>Also, when I get a haircut, I often request tbat they take enough off the ends to freshen it up, but remove bulk throughout. They achieve that by layering and use of thinning shears. When it bulks up, it is impossible to deal with.</p> <p>Do you live somewhere you feel safe taking her for a trim and removal of some of that bulk? If not, what about an Amazon order and some YouTube videos? 😆 Throw in some deep conditioner, nail polish and mocktails (spa time!) and maybe it won't be a complete nightmare? (I often find I'm overly optimistic when it comes to my own DDs attitude!)</p> <p>Following along. I have very thick hair but DD (6) still has baby fine hair. It's started to bulk up as of late and I know I'll be in your shoes before too long. Good luck!</p> <p>ETA: I should mention, that despite my hating, I use a wet brush on my DD. Absolutely worth a try! I also thought it was like any other brush. It is not, and DD recognized that from a VERY young age. I prefer to rip through my own snarls :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919691 Sat, 17 Oct 2020 22:23:02 +0000 Shantuck 2919691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I second the “wet” brand brush. It’s such a game changer. I have super think long hair and I assumed it was just another brush like any other I had owned but it is really great at detangling. I also like the Kristen Ess detangling spray from target for detangling my daughter’s hair (she also has my long thick hair). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919689 Sat, 17 Oct 2020 21:24:24 +0000 catgirl 2919689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would make sure to comb it while she is conditioning in the shower/bath. We keep a wide tooth comb in our shower. After she is done I would try a leave in conditioner. And I agree that a braid or two before could help. </p> <p>Unfortunately some people just have hair that tangles more easily than others. You can try various products, some may help more than others. I know you said a new pillowcase won’t help but I would still make sure to avoid flannel or rough cottons - they can make it much worse. Also the twist towels can be fine, just make sure it is microfiber or a simple cotton. Regular towel material can make hair frizzier and more tangled. </p> <p>Good luck! I know the struggles. DD is very opinionated about her hair but she has curly hair that requires a fair amount of work to maintain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919688 Sat, 17 Oct 2020 20:58:16 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2919688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you use a wet brush?? Works amazing. </p> <p>Also I’d braid it or something before bed and for school so it doesn’t get too tangled.<br /> Mor a bubble pony is cute and keeps knots out (not good for bed but for day time). </p> [attach=2620/20/qidk54.409x600.648F76DC-96B7-4798-A33A-B95F69BAF00E.jpeg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/battle-over-long-hair-help#post-2919683 Sat, 17 Oct 2020 20:06:16 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2919683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 7 year old has very thick hair. She has insisted she wants to grow it long and especially since the pandemic started and we haven't been getting haircuts, it's gotten long and thick. Which means epic tangling, despite using conditioner and detangler regularly. Every morning and every night and after every shower, she is literally screaming her head off about how much the tangles hurt, and I keep telling her then we need to cut your hair and she gets mad about that and it makes the whole thing worse. Every single day. I'm sick of it, but I also want to respect her body autonomy. I've taught her how to comb her hair, DH and I are always there to help if she can't do it herself or wants help, it doesn't matter, nothing seems to help the daily tantrum over this. </p> <p>So, first, is there a magic solution that I'm missing to help this issue in the first place? Her hair typically gets washed every other day/every 2 days, depending on how sweaty she gets playing, always shampoo and conditioner, then we comb it with a wet comb and put a detangling spray in, put it up in a twist towel (though even if we don't do this the results are the same) and she prefers to have it air dried, which we typically do, but on days where she showers closer to bedtime we do hair dryer (which she also really hates). Regardless of what we do, though, the tangles are still pretty major. Switching her pillowcase isn't realistic because she rarely sleeps on a pillow/very mobile during sleep, which probably contributes to the tangling. </p> <p>Second, if there is no magic product, is there a better way to set boundaries here? I am just so over the shouting all the time, at something she herself insists on. I've told her all this before and she's generally a smart kid but still, every damn day this is a thing. </p> <p>Thank you! #tearingmyhairout </p>