https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 29 Jun 2026 00:58:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1653977 Thu, 22 May 2014 23:50:08 +0000 sunny 1653977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think some people are just oblivious. </p> <p>I have put my foot in my mouth like that so many times. Ugh!!!</p> <p>Sorry your feelings were hurt though! :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1653961 Thu, 22 May 2014 23:14:19 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1653961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the part that was more insulting was that he didn't acknowledge how or that a mother of twins could be hurt by his comment. I probably would have felt the same as you! @meganmp: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1653957 Thu, 22 May 2014 23:06:54 +0000 meganmp 1653957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: @hotchildinthecity: @illumina: @Anagram: @loveisstrange: @Cherrybee: @BlueWolverine: @alohaorchid: @meredithNYC: @psw27: Thank you for the perspective! I probably am overreacting, but for me it was the fact that he didn't seem to care that he hurt my feelings. Also... I really don't like this guy. Perhaps that is coloring my feelings, no? Anyway, thank you!</p> <p>Anyway </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1651295 Thu, 22 May 2014 09:29:13 +0000 psw27 1651295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with others that maybe but he said wasn't that bad but it was his lack of follow up that shows he lacks social grace... He should have quickly said "oh I didn't mean it like that, we just can't afford it/handle it/whatever"... He definitely shouldn't have just stood there like a lump when she pointed out she has twins. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1651264 Thu, 22 May 2014 09:22:22 +0000 meredithNYC 1651264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, I don't think it's that bad that he said it. A definite foot-in-mouth moment, but I could see myself saying something similar without thinking. As others have noted, it would scare the bejeezus out of me if I were told I'm having twins, so I guess I understand the sentiment.</p> <p>But, if I did manage to mess up and say something similar in front of a parent of twins, I would at least apologize and explain where I was coming from. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1651247 Thu, 22 May 2014 09:18:13 +0000 alohaorchid 1651247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with all of you ladies who say it's not so bad... sometimes people just say things about themself and then someone else takes it too personally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1651221 Thu, 22 May 2014 09:11:56 +0000 BlueWolverine 1651221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: This. I really didn't think it was that bad. I don't think it's beyond the pale for an expectant dad to think that twins would "suck." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1651197 Thu, 22 May 2014 09:05:11 +0000 Cherrybee 1651197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in the "it's not that bad" camp.....</p> <p>Twins are awesome but the thought of having to deal with two babies at once (when I barely handled one!!) terrifies the bejesus out of me! Parents of multiples are like gods to me!! If I saw a second heartbeat I might just poop my pants then and there! </p> <p>That said, if I had had said this in front of a twin mama (and I probably would), I would totally serve it with a huge portion of "you're amazing" and if I saw that the twin mama was offended I would have the decency to apologise profusely and explain myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1651008 Thu, 22 May 2014 08:26:02 +0000 loveisstrange 1651008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: @hotchildinthecity: Honestly, I agree. He was saying that he didn't want twins. I don't think that makes him an asshole, nor do I think it was meant as a judgement for anyone but himself. I agree that he probably meant it in the way @Anagram: said. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650810 Thu, 22 May 2014 07:33:15 +0000 Anagram 1650810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@illumina: I also probably wouldn't have taken it personally. I have single friends who say things like, "my period was late, but thank god I'm not pregnant. That would be awful". I don't take it personally because I have a baby--I know they just mean it would be awful for them right now. I get it. </p> <p>I feel like this is a similar situation. Who in real life goes around speaking with disclaimers 100% of the time? I hate broccoli--no offense to any of you that like it. The Yankees suck--sorry if I offended any Yankees fans. I think this just isn't realistic. Sorry!</p> <p>To the OP, I think the best thing to do in this situation is just make light of it--"Too bad for you--we have double the cuteness and double the fun!" or something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650761 Thu, 22 May 2014 07:07:31 +0000 Pumuckl 1650761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: This! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650757 Thu, 22 May 2014 07:05:12 +0000 mrsjyw 1650757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650742 Thu, 22 May 2014 06:57:07 +0000 illumina 1650742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: @hotchildinthecity: I agree. It sounds like something me or my Dh would say in the same situation. Not that twins suck, but just that it wouldn't have been ideal for us. Yes in an ideal world he shouldn't have said it but you feeling offended wasn't really his fault. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650719 Thu, 22 May 2014 06:32:49 +0000 Adira 1650719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: I disagree. He didn't say " That would have just sucked FOR US." he said "That would have just sucked." Period. I agree that he's probably talking about HIS particular situation, but the wording is implying that having twins in general sucks and he should have at least acknowledged @meganmp: and maybe said "Oh, I meant for us - we couldn't have handled it" or something to that extent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650708 Thu, 22 May 2014 06:22:16 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1650708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pumuckl: yeah but to play devil's advocate, it's not like he was saying twins are awful and no one should have them. He was just saying it would have sucked for THEM. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650701 Thu, 22 May 2014 06:17:37 +0000 Pumuckl 1650701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: You're probably right but he could have still acknowledged that meganmp was standing right there... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650694 Thu, 22 May 2014 06:16:26 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1650694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@London Mama: i was waiting for someone else to say it but i agree this is not that bad. I think he was probably just worried about the thought of having two babies to take care of at once.</p> <p>When we were looking into iui, the doctor said we had a higher chance of multiples and my husband was very worried, from a financial perspective. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650683 Thu, 22 May 2014 06:06:44 +0000 swedishfish 1650683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650672 Thu, 22 May 2014 06:01:24 +0000 London Mama 1650672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's that bad, I always assume when people say things like that they're talking about their personal preference for their lives. I can honestly say I would not have wanted twins for myself (dealing with 1 was enough for me!) but of course that doesn't mean I think twins in general or for anyone else is a 'bad' thing.</p> <p>Sure, he probably could have said it more tactfully but I wouldn't take it personally, he was just speaking about his own personal feelings for his particular life situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650664 Thu, 22 May 2014 05:42:37 +0000 blackbird 1650664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What an asshole. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650592 Thu, 22 May 2014 00:59:57 +0000 birdofafeather 1650592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, that's rude. I say stupid stuff all the time and I would have apologized profusely once I realized what I said! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650228 Wed, 21 May 2014 18:50:55 +0000 Raindrop 1650228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>*hugs* I was kind of annoyed that our tech said something similar. I was like what are you doing? She said oh looking for another heartbeat... then she said lots of people think they want twins... but no they really don't. I was thinking... I kind of wanted twins! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/because-thinking-before-you-speak-is-just-overrated#post-1650149 Wed, 21 May 2014 17:58:02 +0000 meganmp 1650149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Friends (and I use this term loosely) just found out they are expecting, and announced it at a party I was at. The father-to-be, who is the dumbest smart guy I know, says something about ultrasounds to someone else, and how cool it was to see the heart beat, and how the ultrasound tech said something about looking for another baby. Dumb ass proceeds to say, right in front of me, "God, I'm so glad it wasn't twins. That would have just sucked."</p> <p>Really? In front of the mother of twins? I actually said that to him, and he didn't even have the decency to realize that what he said could possibly be insulting. </p>