https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 19:30:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926355 Fri, 11 Feb 2022 11:19:54 +0000 Grace 2926355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: I had thought they were pretty cool, but my husband totally refused to allow one too for the longest time ! Then one day he got one as a free gift and jumped on the bandwagon hard - trying different ones from different companies. That’s how we ended up with one that could go in her room.</p> <p>What about a normal bluetooth speaker? Then you could have the ipad/iphone out of the room and still hear the story. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926354 Fri, 11 Feb 2022 11:09:12 +0000 catgirl 2926354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD is only in first grade but our elementary school encourages reading to or with kids all the way through fifth grade. So we plan to do it as long as DD will let us. Some nights we read to her, some she reads to us, and some we do a mix. We have never stayed until she is asleep though. We do bathroom and teeth downstairs and then go up to her room. She gets changed, we read, we talk for a bit, listen to five minutes of music, sing our songs to her, say goodnight, and leave. We typically walk out of her room between 7:45-8. After we leave she can read or listen to music/audio book for 15 minutes (this will likely increase as she gets older). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926353 Fri, 11 Feb 2022 11:04:05 +0000 catgirl 2926353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: my DD also has an echo dot in her room but my husband got an old iphone from our local buy nothing group that he uses exclusively for audio books and music. It only works when he has wifi but he likes that he isn't always draining his cell phone battery. If you only put the apps you need for books and music on it and have the app store locked, he wouldn't be able to do much else with it. </p> <p>@erinbaderin: This doesn't clip to a bed, you wear it around your neck. DH and I have had them for years and DD really wanted one even though she is alone in her room. She uses it to read in the morning when she isn't ready to turn on the real lights yet :silly: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Glocusent-Brightness-Bendable-Rechargeable-Repairing/dp/B07WNRN9WQ" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/Glocusent-Brightness-Bendable-Rechargeable-Repairing/dp/B07WNRN9WQ</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926352 Fri, 11 Feb 2022 10:48:17 +0000 hellobeeboston 2926352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Grace: ahh, ok yeah an alexa would be good for that - my DH refuses to have one of those in our house though. And our kids would NOT be trusted with a tablet, ha. too many games on there to play with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926351 Fri, 11 Feb 2022 10:19:04 +0000 erinbaderin 2926351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This has been interesting for me - my son just turned 8 and I think that having him have the same bedtime as his (almost 6 year old) brother is no longer working. It's been especially bad this week because we're quarantined with COVID so he's not getting any exercise but he just can't fall asleep at night. I think I'm going to try letting him read in bed for a while, can anybody suggest a reading lamp that clips to a bunkbed that works? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926346 Fri, 11 Feb 2022 08:54:21 +0000 Grace 2926346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: Right now, we have an Alexa Dot in her room (with the mic off) that will play the stories. Before that we would bring in the tablet for the night and it would live on the desk. This works for us because she is a rule-follower. She knows not to touch those devices. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926345 Fri, 11 Feb 2022 07:46:37 +0000 hellobeeboston 2926345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Grace: how does your child listen to their audible books? I keep trying to figure out how to get audio books &amp; music for my kids to listen too, but HOW without an iphone or iPad? </p> <p>i love audible btw - i listen to at least one book a month. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926344 Fri, 11 Feb 2022 07:44:31 +0000 hellobeeboston 2926344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We still put our 9yo 3rd grader to bed. He wants us to read with him (either he reads aloud or we do) and lay with him, ideally stay till he's sleeping but we try to leave after books unless we fall asleep (haha). Bedtime is usually 8 or 8:30. 2 nights a week he plays hockey until 8, so it's usually closer to 9 those nights. His younger brother is 6, and we aim for 8 for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926339 Thu, 10 Feb 2022 19:33:26 +0000 PinkElephant 2926339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilary: You know, it's so true re: sleep needs. We are seeing a sleep specialist next week, and a lot of the intake questions focus on "Is your child tired during x, y, and z"....but honestly, the answer to most of these is NO. I don't need a ton of sleep either, so I get it, but DH has very high sleep needs, so he is not at all empathetic to DD. </p> <p>@Grace: I think there's a lot to be said for a kid having their "bucket full" at the end of the day...whether it's movement, social interaction, etc. We've been struggling for playdates here (weather has been all over the place, so outdoors is a mess of cold, muck, and ice, and cases were up for awhile/our town is pretty divided on kids 'vaccination and masks so we really weren't having friends over indoors). I let DD have a friend over after school, and her night was actually better. Maybe a coincidence, but who knows! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926337 Thu, 10 Feb 2022 13:30:34 +0000 Grace 2926337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I have an audible subscription and I’ve used some of my months to buy some collections, Like the Ramona collection or the Anne of Green Gables collection. That’s what I use for “can’t sleep” reading because I don’t want her getting excited about a new book and unable to sleep. We also use Libby (the library app and it has a lot of audiobooks), but not usually for this because then I’d have to make sure it was available and check it out and download and so on. My goal in life it to go in quick, say here’s your story and get out so that I don’t get trapped in conversations about not being able to sleep.</p> <p>Also, as an aside; it’s been a miserable cold winter here and the kids haven’t had outdoor recess for weeks. Those days, it’s always harder to get her to sleep. She just hasn’t moved enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926336 Thu, 10 Feb 2022 10:45:01 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2926336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Grace: my 8 year old sounds a lot like yours and the audio book idea is really interesting, I might try that! Where do you get audio books from? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926298 Fri, 04 Feb 2022 21:45:12 +0000 ALV91711 2926298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest is 9 next month. He still likes to be tucked in at night. His bedtime is 8, but that is the time we tuck him. He has a light and he is allowed to read how long he wants. Some nights he will draw or look at Pokémon cards but as long as he is in bed and quiet that is ok. Most nights he is asleep by 9. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926293 Fri, 04 Feb 2022 08:24:46 +0000 hilary 2926293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 9 year old and 7 year old twins all in their own rooms. We put them "to bed" somewhere between 7-8 depending on sports but they all have book lights/flashlights to read. We normally let them read for about an hour before going up and asking that they turn lights out. The younger ones many times already have lights off. My older one is a complete book worm and would read all night if we let her so we have to shut it down for her. One of my twins is the one who comes out repeatedly and many times it's because she thinks she should go to sleep and says she can't, so I tell her to use her flashlight to look at one last picture book and let that settle her mind and it normally works. To me it's more important that they are having quiet, restful time that allows them to sleep when they are ready rather than the actual hours of sleep when they were younger. It's interesting how each kid is different in their sleep needs/how they settle so we've had to build some flexibility. Some times they want to color and I let them do that too at their desk in their room for 30 minutes before they move to flashlight reading/looking at books in bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926292 Fri, 04 Feb 2022 08:21:03 +0000 Grace 2926292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These have been really interesting. My two kids have totally different sleep needs. My 4yo is in bed at 7:45, promptly falls asleep and I don’t hear from him until morning. My 8yo constantly would get out of bed, got very worked up if she didn’t fall asleep right away. It was very frustrating. So with her, when it’s my turn to put her to bed, I start reading to her around 8. This is by choice - we’re reading Harry Potter I enjoy it as much as her. Hubby usually plays a boardgame around this time with her (things he really likes). Around 8:30, we send her for PJ/teeth etc which she does on her own and then ~8:45 we go to her room and I read until 9 (have to switch books if HP is getting too scary). At 9, I turn on the whitenoise, she says prayers, and I give her a “dream” to think about when she’s falling asleep. Just something to imagine (my dad used to do this for me). Then I tell her that I will check on her in 20 min (…although I set my timer for 25 because I think she was almost asleep at 20 min and would wake her up). This helped her lose the fear that she would be left all alone if she couldn’t sleep. Most of the time, she’s asleep in 25 min, but if she’s not, I turn on an audible book (Ramona - one she’s listened to a million times and isn’t too exciting) very quietly and say I’ll check again in 20 min. Usually she’s out by then. Sometimes she’s not and she gets very upset because she’s tired and thinks she’s going to up alllllllllll night. So I have to remind her that she doesn’t have to sleep, she just has to listen to her story. Once she relaxes, she falls asleep fast. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926283 Thu, 03 Feb 2022 10:51:33 +0000 Anagram 2926283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: my 1st and 3rd grader share a bunk bed, so their bedtime is still the same—8pm. </p> <p>My husband and I still put them to sleep, but as they get older the routine has changed a bit. When we get home from school, they do their homework as they eat their snack. Homework time is up until dinner (they have after school classes, like fencing and theater, so we get home at 4:30 most days) and when all their actual school work is finished, that’s the only window they have for “educational screen time” like Prodigy or A-Z kids reading app”. Even though it’s educational, there are some mindless games/features on the site so they do have some of the same addictive qualities as non-educational screen time. But if their homework is done, and I’m not done making dinner then that’s their window for those things. Many days, there is no time because my 3rd grade has quite a bit of school homework. </p> <p>6pm is dinner. My kids are slow eaters and that’s also our family chat time so we usually aren’t done until 7. If they haven’t had any screen time, they get to take their shower and watch 1, 22 minute show. We don’t allow Switch or computer games on weekdays because there’s no automatic stop like a regular show and we’ve had issues in the past. So now we just have a hard “no digital games on week days” rule. </p> <p>Then at 7:30 we do reading time. My oldest brushes her teeth and reads in her bed. She has a bunk bed-attached reading light (they both do), so I feel like this is part of the night routine. The overhead lights are off, so it’s dim reading light for this last segment of our day. While my 3rd grader reads whatever she is reading that day, my 1st grader has a routine of reading us at least 1 book, and then is reading her 1-2 books (my husband and I still trade off bedtime every other night). </p> <p>Then at 8, lights off for everyone and whichever parent is doing bedtime, usually sits in the chair in their room and reads/watches a show with headphones on our phone. It takes 5-10 min tops for both girls to be snoring. </p> <p>We very much still stick to the same bedtime routine we’ve had for years. It’s all sort of the winding down process of screens off, bath, dim light, reading, lights off. Seems to still work so far? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926280 Thu, 03 Feb 2022 07:42:42 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2926280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@peaches1038: totally fair. She's definitely very social/people oriented! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926278 Wed, 02 Feb 2022 13:03:02 +0000 PinkElephant 2926278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@poppygirl15: That's awesome. I really need to get DH to shift his thinking on reading time/bed time with the kids. He would say that the schedule you mention is far too long, and that he and I should be spending that time together without the kids. He'd love the whole thing to be over and done with (basically from brushing teeth to shutting out lights) in about 15 minutes, which I just don't think is realistic with three kids who all (thankfully!) still want to spend time with us. I feel like those days will be over soon enough! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926277 Wed, 02 Feb 2022 13:00:23 +0000 PinkElephant 2926277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: I wish any of my kids did bedtime without being told!!! I wonder if setting a hard and fast "time" to do things (ie., brush teeth at 7:30) would help them move a bit more independently....it's a little hard to do that because on certain nights things get pushed a little later if one of the girls has a late activity (dance ends at 7:15 and 6:45 on two nights, which means that at least one of them isn't home and fed until close to 8). But it could work for the nights when we are home at a more "normal" time.</p> <p>@Mommy Finger: I'm glad you get it! In our house, I'm more like your DH and my DH is more like you - he gets irritated with me for indulging DD's high need for time with me. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926276 Wed, 02 Feb 2022 09:48:16 +0000 poppygirl15 2926276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: We totally still read to our 9-year-old (4th grade), too! It's a special time that we all enjoy. My kiddos (5 &amp; 9) share a room. DH and I both have books going with our kids and we switch off reading to them every other night. That starts around 7:30. 8 p.m. is "bedtime." DS (5) gets in bed and has a bedtime routine with me. My goal is to have him settled by 8:15. Meanwhile, DD is in her top bunk and she has a reading light. During the week, she reads until 8:30/8:40 and then I come in, give her a kiss, and she goes to sleep. During the weekend, she is allowed to stay up reading until 9:00 p.m. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926274 Tue, 01 Feb 2022 20:57:55 +0000 MamaCate 2926274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: for what it is worth, here is how we do bedtime for our 6.5 y/o 1st grader and 10 y/o 4th grader. (For context, wake up time is 6:15 out the door at 7:20 in the mornings)<br /> 7:15-7:35 teeth brushing/shower/pjs with little bro (older one can do learning iPad game like Duolingo or hang out with other parent)<br /> 7:35-7:55 read chapter book with both kids<br /> 8-lights out for little one. I stay in the room 2-5 minutes.<br /> 8-older one starts teeth/shower/pjs<br /> 8:30-In bed for her</p> <p>They share a room so this is a little tricky but the staggered bedtime means the big one gets a later bedtime since she is older and they both fall asleep faster than if they go to bed at the same time.</p> <p>I walk her in and kiss her goodnight but she has a Bluetooth light thing and a book in her bed so she can read and goof off with the light. I don’t monitor what time she goes to sleep. I think she sometimes wakes up before the alarm so she can read a little then too. I can find the link if you think it would help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926273 Tue, 01 Feb 2022 15:43:31 +0000 peaches1038 2926273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I would say that it’s a personality thing rather than an only child thing. I know lots of friends who have multiple kids and have bedtime struggles. My son is an only child too and has gone to bed pretty easily his whole life. Kids are just different </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926271 Tue, 01 Feb 2022 14:34:38 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2926271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Really love reading these because my kid hasn't fallen asleep before 10:30 since she was 3 and had always required a ton of handling around bedtime because of high activity levels so I'm always ears for new ideas to give her some more solo time. She's now nearing 9 and our routine has been about the same - devices off by 8 PM (right around when we finish dinner), some quiet playtime on her own or we'll do a puzzle together until 9, at 9 it's brushing teeth and solo reading or we read together in the same room until about 9:45, and then we do parent reading out loud for 15 minutes or so and lights out at 10. She'll typically fall asleep somewhere between 10:30 - 11. She's an only child so there's a lot of need for company and we've basically never had any evening time as grownups ever as a result. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926270 Tue, 01 Feb 2022 13:27:04 +0000 peaches1038 2926270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a kindergartener but his routine is this:<br /> 7:30pm Get ready for bed<br /> 7:40-8pm parent reads<br /> 8-8:30pm solo reading time<br /> 8:30pm lights out (final parent tuck in)<br /> 7:30am wake up </p> <p>He loves the solo reading time and very rarely comes out. If he does he’s usually looking for a book that’s not in his room. We also have the moshi app with a music playlist for reading time and then a sleep story playlist when it’s lights out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926269 Tue, 01 Feb 2022 13:25:01 +0000 Mommy Finger 2926269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a 9 and 6.5 yo and the bedtime routine is still the same for both of them. It's the same pj's, brush teeth, books, and then what we call "stay withs", which means that each parent hangs with each kid separately for a little bit for final snuggles and talks about the day before it's lights out. The 6.5 yo is bigger on books getting read to him but our 9 yo is more independent and will either hang out in his room/read on his own if he doesn't want to read books with us. He does at times come down and tell us he can't fall asleep and need us to bring him back up. DH is a bit more of a pushover on that front. I usually tell him to go up and read a book or listen to a podcast but he doesn't want any of that. He wants time with us but at that time, I'm just spent and/or I need to keep working. So I will say, I'm there with you.</p> <p>I'm really big on him getting as much sleep as he can as he has been getting migraines since he was 2.5 and a big trigger is lack of sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926267 Tue, 01 Feb 2022 10:51:40 +0000 DillonLion 2926267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Still a struggle for us too! We put an "old school" bedtime routine back in place for our 3rd grader recently and it has helped. </p> <p>Dinner, calm/quiet games, family TV, shower, pajamas, bed at 8pm. She needs so much time to unwind and get tired, so she often doesn't fall asleep until 9 or 10 (or even later). She struggles to stay in her room, but we just consistently take her back. </p> <p>She likes having a printed routine to check off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926265 Tue, 01 Feb 2022 10:39:25 +0000 Chuckles 2926265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I still help put my 8.5 year old 3rd grader to sleep. He reads on his own and (with reminders) does stuff like brushes his teeth and changes his clothes without a ton of parent interaction. Then around 8:15, I'll go in to either read together briefly or chat. Lights go out at about 8:30. He still wants a couple of songs to go to sleep, which is very sweet. I've asked him if he just wants to chat, but he definitely still wants them. I lay with him for a couple of minutes and then leave before he's asleep. I will say that by that time, he's usually pretty tired because he wakes up for the day around 6:30. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926264 Tue, 01 Feb 2022 10:38:07 +0000 PinkElephant 2926264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: @CObee: Thanks for your input! I'm so glad to hear you both prioritize reading to or with your older children. My husband thinks it is ridiculous that I would read to my 7 and 9 year olds, since they can both read chapter books to themselves. It think we just grew up very differently in terms of how our families valued books/reading (which is shocking to me based on how much his family values education, grades, college choice, and profession).</p> <p>What she'd really like to do is have screen time (she wants to play Prodigy, so it's nothing awful, but still not good sleep hygiene, IMO) - maybe a podcast would scratch that itch. I have been dragging my feet on researching that, so I'll give one of these a try. Thanks!</p> <p>@Silva: I really like the autonomy your method gives your eight year old (without actually granting anything extra from your end, haha). Maybe if I tell mine she's staying up late and can play/be out of bed, instead of just reading like I currently have her do, she'd feel more empowered. If I can get her to close her door (she currently refuses) so her sisters aren't aware of what's up, and she puts away her toys before crashing, I'd be totally ok with this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926263 Tue, 01 Feb 2022 09:22:52 +0000 CObee 2926263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I still put my 9 year old to bed too. 😊 After putting her brother to sleep I go into her room and we read (each our own book) together for about half an hour (for us this is until around 8pm). She usually gets so into her book she barely notices me leave. 😋 After that, we’ve used reading in bed with a book light after lights out as a reward for her staying in bed for a long time, and let her choose when to turn it off. (I give her a loose guideline of 8:30 on school nights but we don’t mind if it’s a little later.) I think she really enjoys the independence of deciding for herself when to go to sleep. Maybe hype that up?<br /> Otherwise, what about having her listen to a bedtime podcast or something after you say goodnight? Something to help her eventually enjoy her alone time. I googled and found these: </p> [attach=1670/22/r6mqm5.337x600.1BC2CE3C-ACD6-42E8-83E2-532F24C098EA.png] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926261 Tue, 01 Feb 2022 09:02:50 +0000 Silva 2926261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We made a deal with my 8 year old that if she stayed in her room, it meant she could stay up "late" the next night. If she kept coming out, it meant she hadn't had enough rest and needed to go to bed early.<br /> Her siblings are 6:30-7 bedtime (I usually leave by 7:10 and they are asleep). 8 year old goes up with parent around 7 (or if there is only one adult that night, when the adult finishes the littles bedtime). We read for 15-20 minutes, and then leave. We go back up at 8 and tell her lights out. She usually just reads in bed, but sometimes draws. We've told her she can play if she wants to, but she hasn't done that yet. She has been okay with this deal. If she is up a lot, we don't talk about the earlier bedtime as punitive, we just say- your body needs more rest tonight. we also kind of came up with this plan with her input, by saying- mom and dad need alone time after bedtime, so we can't come back up and lie down with you at 8:00. IF you want to stay up late, you'll need to put yourself to sleep.<br /> Obviously these are earlier bedtimes than your kiddos need, but maybe you can adjust for their needs and come up with a plan with her? Until we started the later bedtime, we were staying in her room until she fell asleep (7:30 ish). I was the one that didn't want to stop read aloud time, so we incorporated that intentionally, but you wouldn't have to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bedtime-for-big-kids#post-2926260 Tue, 01 Feb 2022 07:41:55 +0000 PinkElephant 2926260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Talk to me about your "big kid" (3rd - 5th grade) bedtime routine!</p> <p>My nine year fourth grader is really struggling with sleep these days. She still really wants to be "put to bed" (ie., she'd like me to lay and read with her the way I do for her siblings), but isn't ready to sleep when they're going to bed between 7:30 and 8. I've offered for her to read/play quietly in her room until she feels more tired, but she comes down stairs repeatedly, telling me "Mommy, I can't fall asleep." and basically refuses to settle until my DH and I come up to bed. More recently, she's started waking up in the middle of the night, either claiming she still hasn't fallen asleep (not true) or that she's scared.</p> <p>We're trying lots of tools - different lighting, a sound/light projector, melatonin....nothing seems to be helping! Has anyone been through something like this? Am I way off base to expect a kid of this age to be asleep at, say, 9 PM? </p>