https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 20 May 2026 02:58:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1070601 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 14:16:27 +0000 deactivated_account 1070601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: That's a great update! Everything now sounds pretty darn good in your household. Keep it up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1070271 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:58:42 +0000 kjpugs 1070271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: awesome update!!! So glad you talked to the doctor and DH. Seems like you're on the right track to putting your health and sanity as a priority and feeling better!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1070232 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:40:50 +0000 mrs. wagon 1070232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: what an amazing update!!! So glad your talks with your doctor and DH went so well. I couldn't agree more with your doctor's advice. The best kind of mom is a happy mom, not an unhappy one who keeps the house tidy and cooks every day. Please trust me when I say you are going through what I found to be the most difficult time. It definitely gets better!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1070219 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:36:16 +0000 Lindsay05 1070219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@edelweiss: No please don't be sorry. I love hearing all the options and works best for everyone. I appreciate you replying! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1070213 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:34:06 +0000 edelweiss 1070213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: that's wonderful! so glad you had a good talk with your doctor and husband. also, i am sorry if my earlier comment made it seem like i was "throwing a prescription" at you--that is not what i intended. of course i agree and support getting out and having time to yourself--i just wanted to offer that possibility since sometimes people don't think of it. i guess i was projecting a little, because i *wanted* my doctor to throw some meds at me, ha! but anyway, so excited for your yoga, moms &amp; tots groups, and childcare options! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1070158 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:14:18 +0000 littlek 1070158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: Good update!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1070156 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:12:57 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1070156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't see this originally but glad to hear you have a plan looking forward! I just wanted to empathize- for me being pregnant with a toddler was A LOT harder than having a toddler and newborn- partly because of the physical discomfort but mostly because of the crazy hormones. Just wanted to let you know that it gets better. I agree with all of the advice- especially getting out of the house. Sometimes I would take my toddler on coffee dates (splurge on a real coffee) and let him wander in the shop. Anything to just see other adults and forget about the house, chores etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1070052 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 10:37:54 +0000 Lindsay05 1070052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>UPDATE:</p> <p>So it just so happened yesterday I had prenatal doctor appointment. I went in knowing that I wanted to discuss this stuff with her and to let her know how emotional I was. Well it ended up with me breaking down crying. I couldn't hold back! She was very empathetic. She offered some great advice and was so glad she didn't just throw a prescription at me. She figures that I am just so caught up in the at home routine with LO that I needed to take some time away either alone or with DD or both. Instead of worrying about the housework, leave, close the door and go and do something fun. She did say that my hormones will be out of whack and are just making it seem so much worse. She also suggested that once the new baby is here to sign up for lots of activities to keep everyone busy. A great idea was signing up for a gym that has a daycare because exercise has always been a huge part of my life. And one other suggestion she had was to look for a casual daycare to send LO to even just for a few hours a week. She figured it would be beneficial to the both of us. So all really great ideas.</p> <p>DH and I had a talk last night and pretty much told each other how we were feeling. I told him that I am going to try and get out a lot more. I cannot control all of my feelings and emotions, but would really just appreciate a hug and a shoulder when I am having a crappy day. I also said WE both need to communicate our feelings way more often and even just everyday things so we are both in the loop and there are no more surprises. It was a good discussion and I think we are both having a much better day.</p> <p>So with all that being said, I have already looked into a prenatal yoga class to join, a moms and tots group and looking at childcare options. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1067719 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 14:26:55 +0000 Lindsay05 1067719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: Yes. And most times DH is in trouble for something. I cant even clean my house without going on a rampage in my head about how everything is his fault. And lots of times it is stupid little things but they are still making me upset. </p> <p>Thanks to everyone who has replied. It helps to hear other people going through it. It is so hard when you dont feel yourself. </p> <p>I am hoping i can sit down with him and lay things out so that there isnt any more second guessing. I need us to try and eliminate any stress that we can and hope he can try to understand how I am feeling although I am sure no man can ever truly understand. </p> <p>Please, anyone else experience this please do not be afraid to chime in! I am sure it helps more than just myself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1067475 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 13:09:33 +0000 meredithNYC 1067475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really sorry you are feeling this way. You really do have a lot on your plate right now, so try and be kind to yourself. It sounds like part of that would entail speaking to your doctor and letting him/her know that your feelings are out of control and that you need some kind of help. And absolutely do try and get out for some time alone or with friends. Sometimes I think we expect our spouse to be everything to us - best friend, lover, emotional support, etc. and it can put a lot of pressure on the relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1067223 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 11:37:17 +0000 sandy 1067223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hormones are a crazy thing! And until you have experienced the out of control emotions firsthand it really is difficult to understand. No advice but I know how you are feeling! Hugs to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1067214 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 11:34:57 +0000 littlek 1067214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's rough. Hormones are a b**. I agree with @rachiecakes try and find some time alone with just you and your DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1067208 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 11:32:51 +0000 rachiecakes 1067208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't even imagine watching a toddler and being pregnant at the same time. Toddler meltdowns and pregnancy hormones at the same time?? Big hugs, mama. </p> <p>I know anytime I'm feeling depressed, stressed or both, it's usually when I need to take the time to do something for me. On my own. Maybe you could plan evenings where you can go out and decompress without your LO. Get a cup of tea, massage, mani and just relax? DH and I each get our nights during the week where we can go out and do something. It's not every week but it does help.<br /> :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1067127 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 11:00:14 +0000 kjpugs 1067127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's time for you to talk to a therapist or counselor about your unhappiness. It's not ok for a family at all if one of them is unhappy or not in control of their emotions. It seems like DH has been supportive but at a certain point, it becomes very hard an unmanageable for a spouse/family member to deal with. You need to talk to someone about your emotions- it's NOT normal to feel that out of control. And you will be able to get them under control, I promise! The right mix of talking through them with a professional and (post baby) medication should get you on the right path. You sound like super mom- but you have to ask for help sometimes! I bet DH will be super happy that you are seeking help to make yourself feel more "normal" again! hang in there!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1067108 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 10:55:46 +0000 edelweiss 1067108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>it's completely understandable that there's a rough patch considering everything going on. still, it sucks and i'm sorry. perhaps counseling and/or a pregnancy-safe anti anxiety medication (like zoloft) might help?</p> <p>one small idea, at a few months postpartum, DH and i instituted a new rule that when he came home from work (i get home before he does), we would say hello but otherwise not talk for the first 15-20 minutes. we did this because i had all these thoughts and feelings building up over the day and when he got home i would pile it on, whereas he was in decompression mode and conflict would inevitably result. we didn't stick with the rule for very long, but just talking about it helped us both realize what was going on and we gave each other some space. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1067081 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 10:47:44 +0000 HLK208 1067081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. Hormones are rough, especially while pregnant. DH and I are usually great unless I am a) pregnant b) post partum c) pmsing or d) ovulating. I am an emotional wreck during those times. My second pregnancy was really hard on our relationship. DH felt like he was always yelled at for little things. At the time they weren't little and all I wanted him to do was to be sensitive rather than right! </p> <p>Hugs! It did get better and it will for you too! The emotional phases come and go through different times of the pregnancy. For me, it was the worst from 10-16 weeks and the rest wasn't as bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1067080 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 10:47:40 +0000 Mrsbells 1067080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry you are dealing with all this, I cant imagine how it must be to have a toddler and be pregnant and dealing with all those feelings. I havent experienced this myself so I dont have any first hand experience, but I wonder if your doctor can recommend some type of counselling for you as an individual as well as for you and DH </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bees-i-need-you#post-1067062 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 10:40:36 +0000 Lindsay05 1067062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like I have no where else to go and I guess I am asking for help. </p> <p>As some of you may know I am a parent to a 14.5 month old, and expecting our next one in January.</p> <p>DH and I have always had a good relationship. We of course had our ups and downs but it has made us better in the long run. </p> <p>Well ever since having DD, my hormones have been very unbalanced. Along with the overwhelmingness of new parenthood, my mood would just change instantly. Once I became pregnant with #2, my moods became very out of control where some days I would need to just go lay in bed and cry. Well, I assumed it was just those initial fluctuations in hormones along with my old ones that were making it so difficult. And my doctor believed this was the case as well. </p> <p>Well today, DH and I are fighting (like we seem to be doing a lot more these days) and he thinks I am always unhappy and negative. Well I was mad at him because he never communicates with me with what he is doing. He has a somewhat dangerous hobby and told him that he needs to inform me anytime he is doing it so I know where he is. He said thats fine. This isnt the first time that I had to bring this up to him. I am sure his friends know where he is more than i do and I feel its very disrespectful. It is to the point now that when I am having a hard day (emotionally) he is just colder to me and figure, oh great, here we go again. I told him that I really have no control over my emotions and could really just use support rather than attitude. He said its just too frustrating that he is living a happy life and I am so unhappy. He told md he doesnt look forward to coming home from work because he doesnt know what he will get. </p> <p>I feel so angry, sad, frustrated, hurt etc. I am not an unhappy person. I do mostly love my life but there are just a few things that make me frustrated and with the rollercoaster of emotions, its really really hard to have him understand. </p> <p>I feel at a really bad place in our marriage. I have no problems telling him how I feel and he does listen when I talk to him. AND he is a rockstar dad.</p> <p>I guess what I am hoping is that others have been where I have been and can tell me that it gets better! </p>