https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 02:21:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2787138 Fri, 17 Nov 2017 12:24:30 +0000 KayKay 2787138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not a fan of sticker charts/tokens/rewards (basically bribes) unless it is for very discrete, short-term situations like early potty training. One of my LO1s preschools did this, and I hated it (we left that school mid-year). She is naturally a rule-follower, so it basically meant that she just did what she would've done anyways and then came home with a crappy toy at the end of every week.</p> <p>I actually like better the concept of recognizing and praising those who are showing kind actions, but I agree that something about calling it a "super friend" seems weird, and having the whole class sing the song to a person could both take a lot of time away from other things AND be shame-y. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2787045 Fri, 17 Nov 2017 08:14:33 +0000 looch 2787045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: Yes, exactly! In preschool, my son would have been the kid that is constantly moved to red and he'd be like whatever, it doesn't matter. So what does that actually accomplish? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2787031 Fri, 17 Nov 2017 05:24:41 +0000 farawayyama 2787031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: that's what I thought of when I saw the title. I am vehemently against those.</p> <p>I'm not terribly pro the sticker thing and think it has problematic but I would probably let it go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2787009 Thu, 16 Nov 2017 22:28:44 +0000 Chuckles 2787009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't say this is my favorite idea for dealing with behavior management, but at least they are focusing on rewarding good behavior, as other posters have said. It's way better than my son's pre-K, which just started that ridiculous color chart where kids start the day on "green" and then move to yellow or red if they misbehave. They do have the chance to move back up, but how far removed from natural consequences can you get?! Like, you threw a block in the play area. Instead of the consequence being you have to pick it up and can't play with blocks that day, instead you "move to yellow." Oooh. I feel like generally well-behaved kids will mostly stay on green and kids who always end up on red just stop caring. I'm really debating whether to say something to the school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786977 Thu, 16 Nov 2017 20:35:51 +0000 lamariniere 2786977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don’t really have an answer, but thought I would share what’s going on at my DD’s preschool (3-4 yos). From the very beginning of the year, the teacher said she would award a “champion’s medal” to one kid at the end of the week. The idea is that each kid will win it once during the school year. I’m not exactly sure what her criteria are. My daughter won it the second week of school and she (and we!) were so proud of her. But I imagine if you are on the other side and your kid hasn’t won it yet, or wins it in the last weeks of the year, how are those kids/parents feeling? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786870 Thu, 16 Nov 2017 13:39:13 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2786870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks so much to you all for your feedback. I'm glad to see that I'm not on an island thinking that it feels a little off, but you helped me see that it's not worth making a fuss over with the teachers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786861 Thu, 16 Nov 2017 13:16:02 +0000 ineebee 2786861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a teacher myself, I'm pretty staunchly against a rewards-based behavior system. But if this happened in my kids' class, my attitude would be - shrug, what are you gonna do? Research shows that this kinda stuff does tend to work well -<br /> temporarily - for moderate behavior issues, but can exacerbate more extreme unwanted behavior. So if my kid wasn't in that last category, and the teachers seem to be thoughtful and respectful to the kids in how they carry out the program, I would just do my part at home to make sure to encourage the inherent value of good behavior and treating others well and that it isn't attached to a token/prize. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786772 Thu, 16 Nov 2017 07:14:34 +0000 honeybear 2786772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The cheesiness of singing about super friends would irritate me--not going to lie. There's something excessively infantilizing about that, I think. And I don't love handing out physical prizes in general as motivators. But recognizing good behavior, as a general principle is fine by me. I'd just prefer it come directly in the form of praise of effort from an adult and without (many) 'treats' attached. Once and a while a treat is definitely okay for stellar behavior or rising to the occasion and helping out in some special way, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786760 Thu, 16 Nov 2017 01:52:43 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2786760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Encouraging good behavior in a class of toddlers is tough business! It takes incentive, time and effort to organize something like this. I would be grateful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786756 Thu, 16 Nov 2017 00:30:42 +0000 Purpledaisy 2786756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have no issue with this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786725 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 19:42:23 +0000 SweetiePie 2786725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: I agree. I would imagine that they reward kids based on their own progress. As you said, different kids at different stages of development with different personality types would have different goals. Like yeah, there’s a chart with specific things. But I would think that it’s open to interpretation based on the kid, at the teachers discretion. </p> <p>I also get that a few are saying that kids are at different stages of development and some “bad behavior” is normal. But a 4-5yo is capable of learning what is good and bad Behavior. Yeah, it may be normal for a 4-5yo kid to snatch a toy from someone’s hand. But at 4-5 they can also observe and learn that it’s not ok. Even at 2-3 I think that is appropriate. Whereas a 12-18 month old you can’t really reason or explain things as well. I wouldn’t be mad about it at that age, but I might think it’s weird because how much is that actually sticking with them? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786721 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 19:06:37 +0000 travellingbee 2786721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No I would have no problem with this. I have no problem with rewarding good behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786697 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:16:13 +0000 gingerbebe 2786697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't get why you couldn't reward people individually for what is appropriate for that child? An introvert child could have a hard time in a big group circle time, but if he or she overcame that discomfort and joined the circle, they could be a super friend for that. An extroverted child who is loud and outgoing could be a super friend for listening quietly while another child did show and tell. A younger child who doesn't want to sit but who still finishing a beading project could be a super friend for joining art time with friends. If the teacher is actively looking for ways to encourage each child to be a super friend, I don't get why this is an issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786692 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 17:07:35 +0000 PawPrints 2786692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with you, this would bother me. Making everybody sing to praise another kid feels like it can lead to shaming, if some kids never get sung for. I'm not sure I would say anything about it though. Using rewards to encourage pro-social behavior is really not my parenting style, but I don't know if I would bring it up - like, is it worth trying to overhaul the way they manage a classroom? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786674 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 16:43:35 +0000 daniellemybelle 2786674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: Actually I think that the term "super friend" was probably chosen because it emphasizes that good behavior is about kindness &amp; respect toward others. I have a feeling that @Mrs. Carrot and others might be even less excited about it if the terminology was more just about being a "super listener" or "super rule follower," ha. </p> <p>My daughter's preschool is more focused on structure and compliance than I initially thought I would be comfortable with, but seeing how much she is absolutely thriving, it has sort of changed my opinion. I think when you can incentivize kids to behave in a way that makes the classroom more harmonious, there is so much more room for positivity, fun and learning in the class which is the ultimate goal. Sure, it would be great for the teachers to handle each behavior situation, positive or negative, individually rather than having a token system but then they would never do anything else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786647 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 15:42:04 +0000 nwm 2786647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i tend to share your reaction. it feels like you're tracking kids based on differences in their development that may not be under their control and may be age appropriate. obviously you want classroom teachers working on this stuff all the time, but gently on an individual basis--something about keeping a chart and handing out rewards really seems like it would spotlight and set apart kids who have more trouble. so yeah, it's the shame concern that you mentioned that would bother me the most. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786643 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 15:24:13 +0000 Mamatimes3 2786643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This wouldn’t bother me at all. If a child is behaving well why not reward them?</p> <p>At my son’s school, they get to pick out of a treasure chest after x amount of good days. They also introduced the concept of “warrior bucks” for good behavior. They can trade in these bucks on certain days for treats. </p> <p>As an adult, I don’t need positive affirmation all the time but it feels nice to get it every so often! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786633 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 15:01:43 +0000 Anagram 2786633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I understand your hesitancy. I think even postive rewards usually tend to reward the kiddos who already behave better and then the other kids (who at age 4 probably are just immature or have impulse control issues--very typical for that age!) don't get the reward and then the absence of a reward really is a punishment in a way, right?</p> <p>I get it. I'm a school librarian and I am extremely opposed to programs like Accelerated Reader because there have been so many studies that show these programs just reward the children who already love to read and make the kids who don't like reading like it even less.</p> <p>I think these types of rewards are common--my daughter's public pre-k does it--but I suspect they are probably completely ineffectual with actually changing 4 year old behavior long term. I'm sure there are studies that show whether sticker charts and the like teach students good behavior--most schools are moving away from this stuff, so I assume statistics are the reason why, but I don't have anything at my fingertips to back this up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786632 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 15:01:42 +0000 looch 2786632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interestingly, my son's preschool never did this kind of thing. My son is also not the type to be motivated by rewards like this, so I am not sure it would have helped him...and believe me, he was not a super friend most of the time! What helped him was time and having teachers around him that understood his issues and developing specific strategies for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786627 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 14:52:14 +0000 Mama Bird 2786627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The idea is pretty common, no big deal. But somehow calling good behavior a "super friend" rubs me the wrong way. I can't even put a finger on why! Maybe it kind of sounds like you're supposed to be super friendly to everyone and all the time? Which is nice in theory but come on, everyone has bad moods sometimes... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786616 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 14:29:55 +0000 matador84 2786616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's a big deal, pretty standard token economy system for early childhood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786601 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 13:45:50 +0000 ktdid23 2786601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't see this as any different than a sticker chart for using the bathroom when potty training a 3 year old. Reinforce the good behavior and ignore/redirect negative behavior. These children will presumably be going to kindergarten in the fall, so reinforcing positive behavior can only help them as they transition to a public school. And truthfully, my daughter's second grade class does a variation of this and each quad of 4 kids at a table earns group points for a prize at the end of the week. I'm ok with anything that reinforces good behavior... we need more of it in this world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786598 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 13:40:17 +0000 ktdid23 2786598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gotkimchi: I agree. As long as they are rewarding good behavior (as opposed to pointing out/punishing negative behavior) I feel pretty positive about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786596 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 13:35:00 +0000 gingerbebe 2786596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have to know more details about how they were carrying this out, but from the way I read your post initially, I would be supportive of this policy if the aim was to get the kids to be positive, encouraging peers in the classroom.</p> <p>For example, I would be totally on board if being a super friend meant:</p> <p>- X helped his friend clean up toys.<br /> - X hugged a friend when they were crying and upset and having a hard time transitioning.<br /> - X complimented another friend on their block tower.<br /> - X shared a toy with another friend.<br /> - X invited a friend to play.<br /> - X held a door open for a classmate.</p> <p>Further, its not that they are getting rewarded each time they are a super friend, but rather they get a prize after a certain amount of tokens are collected, meaning, it rewards positive behavior that is cumulative. Generally, children imitate and model their behavior on one another, so I think if kids are motivated to be super friends and be helpful and kind, and that motivates others to be helpful and kind, I don't see it as a problem.</p> <p>Again, these are based on my assumptions and my views could change based on how this is actually implemented. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786595 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 13:34:58 +0000 daniellemybelle 2786595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is a very typical approach to behavior in preschool. I wouldn't feel icky about this at all. In my daughter's older 3s/younger 4s class, they have can earn clips for good behavior or being a good friend. They hand them out very liberally - like in a 20 min span in the class, I saw every child get a clip at least once. If you have 3 clips by the end of the day, you get a "treasure." So, everyone gets a treasure, I'm pretty sure. My LO always does. But she is definitely motivated/encouraged to make good choices by the clips and treasure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786593 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 13:31:49 +0000 Mamaof2 2786593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our Pre-K rewarded good behavior - they had a big treasure chest they could pick from - I had no issue with it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786592 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 13:31:32 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2786592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs Green Grass: They're dollar store type things, so nothing major. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786591 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 13:30:41 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2786591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read behavior hart and thoughts no! But just rewarding good behavior sounds age appropriate and focuses on the positive. Kids love to be recognized and are a bit competitive and they're going to see lots of models of good beachior. I would hope the "prizes" or whatever are pretty small since it'll be a lot easier for some kids (although I bet the teachers will especially reward kids who were having trouble before... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786590 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 13:29:49 +0000 gotkimchi 2786590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’d rather reward good behavior then punish bad. All of this sounds very typical for prek to me. Both the kids behaviors and the teachers attempt to mitigate that </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/behavior-chart-at-pre-k-thoughts#post-2786586 Wed, 15 Nov 2017 13:23:11 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2786586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 4.5 year old is in a daycare/pre-K program. Her classroom is one of 2 pre-k classrooms, and is the classroom that the younger kids rise up to (the 2nd classroom is mostly older kids). My husband (he does 99% of dropoff/pickup) told me yesterday that apparently the teachers in my kid's classroom are starting a new thing where they will give stickers or "tokens" of some sort to kids who are being "super friends" and once they accumulate X number of these tokens, they can pick a small prize. There was a short handout with a song that was sent home that kids are going to sing in class when someone is observed being a "super friend" and the parents are encouraged to ask kids daily about whether they were "super friends" today. I haven't seen anything (nor did my husband hear anything) about what constitutes "super friend" behavior, but the teacher told him that they've been having some issues with kids managing daily transitions, and this is all an effort to address those issues. My guess is things like sharing at playtime, helping clean up, being calm so that others can nap, etc. </p> <p>I am having a pretty negative reaction to this, and I'm wondering if I'm overreacting. I'm not a fan of rewards for good behavior to begin with, and though I understand it's hard to tackle behavior issues with a group of 15 4 year olds, it seems like addressing these things as the right things to do and encouraging is a better way than handing out prizes. I'm also concerned that this is going to shame kids who may not have matured enough to really manage some of these behaviors, and motivate others to do things for prizes rather than because that's what they should be doing anyway. Plus, they're 4, there are things they just may not be good at yet. </p> <p>Would love thoughts/reactions to this. I generally tend to be deferential to educators and their expertise, but this feels icky to me and I'd love perspective. </p>