https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 20 May 2026 10:48:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679106 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 17:15:40 +0000 Modern Daisy 2679106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I say don't back out but draw a line in the sand about finances. Only go to the bachelor party if it doesn't require travel and make it clear he is only paying for the tux rental and not pitching in for a shower or large group gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679081 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 16:36:19 +0000 Boogs 2679081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: I agree, some people are more about filling spots while others are more about relationships. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679072 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 16:23:56 +0000 Bao 2679072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: yeah, true!</p> <p>I guess I just have a stronger feeling about who you choose for your wedding party, that's all :) but like some of you mentioned...men! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679069 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 16:18:09 +0000 daniellemybelle 2679069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Men are definitely different! Since he already accepted, it would be kind of rude to drop out. I assume you'd attend the wedding even if your husband wasn't in it, so you'd bring a gift anyway... the only additional cost will be a tux rental and the bachelor party (which he also might have been invited to had he not been in the bridal party). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679064 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 16:11:55 +0000 Boogs 2679064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: Boys for ya lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679058 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 16:08:12 +0000 Bao 2679058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: they just don't make it a priority. DH makes time for other friends and this guy posts a lot of photos with others on Facebook...so who knows? Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679049 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 16:02:03 +0000 Boogs 2679049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think guys just work different than us. Have you asked DH why they don't hang out more? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679032 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:38:57 +0000 Bao 2679032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: @rachiecakes: I know I wish he would have at least thought about it. Owell, done now. The first time with hung out with him to meet his fiancée (which was also when the friend asked DH to be in the wedding) we left there going "omg she's kind of rude" She would interrupt us while talking or completely ignore us, and one of those who likes to talk about herself. Haha but it's all good, we all have our own personalities. Maybe if we had the chance to spend more time with her we would feel differently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679031 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:36:10 +0000 Bao 2679031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MOMTOLITTLEB: it's in August, they've known each other about 3 years? This guy started working at DH's work and they actually didn't care for each other. Took another year and a half to get to know each other. And now here we are today and the hanging out is scarce. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679030 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:35:52 +0000 Corduroy 2679030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If DH doesn't want to back out I would invite the guy or the couple over. Maybe you'll become great friends. Or have a blow out. Either way DH wouldn't be in an acquaintance's wedding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679026 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:32:01 +0000 rachiecakes 2679026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that I definitely think it's different with guys.<br /> BUT I would never commit to a wedding with someone I was not close with, especially not now with a child. The cost, the time commitment. I could never give the amount of care and attention and enthusiasm to a distant friend's wedding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679023 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:30:21 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2679023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When is the wedding? You definitely wouldn't want to back out at the last minute.</p> <p>How long has he been friends with the guy? My husband was in a wedding last year of a guy we rarely see but they were very close as kids and have stayed in touch a little over the years. It was kind of tough because we had to travel and I didn't really know any of their other friends very well but I understood why it was important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679020 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:29:11 +0000 sapphire 2679020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it'd be pretty rude to drop out for that reason. Mens relationships are different...I'd leave this up to your husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679018 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:27:13 +0000 Adira 2679018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: Yeah, it's definitely different. But I think if your husband still wants to do it, then he probably feels closer to this guy than it might look like from the outside? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679017 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:25:58 +0000 MrsSRS 2679017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's ok to say that he is happy to be supportive, but he had a limit on his monetary contribution and tell his coworker what his budget is. I had bridesmaids with tight budgets so we did a simple, in home bachelorette party, I certainly didn't expect them to also give us a wedding present. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679016 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:24:59 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2679016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that level of closeness doesn't warrant bridal party, but everyone has different ideas about friendship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679014 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:22:20 +0000 birdofafeather 2679014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH was in a wedding of his coworker who he is not particularly close with, but we would have gone to the wedding either way and the only additional expense for us was the suit rental. i kinda think once you say yes, you don't back out unless it's for extraordinary circumstances and if he wants to burn the friendship bridge. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679013 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:21:28 +0000 Bao 2679013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I feel like that may be a little different if that's his friend from childhood? DH and this guy met just a few years ago. But I do see your point! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679012 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:19:37 +0000 Bao 2679012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@My Only Sunshine: yeah, you're probably right :/ I guess my thing is we don't have a lot of money as it is, and to dump hundreds on a wedding and then still potentially not hang out just stings. I feel like the people standing up with you on your wedding should be people you are closer with. I actually had to decline being in a wedding two years ago for our friends that we are really close with, because of finances, so I guess I'm feeling guilty about that. Almost like it's not fair to our close friends? But obviously I'm not saying we can never be in another wedding, just making a feeling known. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679008 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:17:12 +0000 Adira 2679008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I don't see it as being that big of a deal. Hubs' best man was his best friend from his childhood who he NEVER hangs out with. I saw him more that one year planning our wedding than I have before or after! Guys are weird. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679005 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:16:03 +0000 Truth Bombs 2679005@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unless the dynamic of the relationship has changed drastically since your husband was asked to be in the wedding, I'm guessing that the friend only asked in the first place because he needed a spot to fill to match up with bridesmaids. I think once you've committed to be in a wedding, you need to follow through outside of things like pregnancy, or some sort of terrible action by the bride/groom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2679003 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:15:04 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2679003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: Oh man I agree that's weird but I think backing out of a wedding is a totally different thing than committing when asked. If he was just being asked now, I could see politely and kindly saying no. I think backing out when you committed months ago is generally poor form. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2678999 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:12:24 +0000 MrsSRS 2678999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that sucks. Maybe the groom doesn't have many friends? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-in-a-wedding-with-someone-you-arent-close-with#post-2678995 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 15:10:17 +0000 Bao 2678995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to make this Gold, but I'll risk it in hopes of getting more advice. </p> <p>DH was asked to be in a wedding last August by a friend he worked with. Since then they have worked with each other only a handful of times, and haven't even hung out outside of work. Not much texting and no phone calls. He only lives 10 minutes from us. </p> <p>I personally think it's silly for DH to be in this wedding. We've hung out with DH's friend and his fiancée one time. One. Time. DH doesn't think it's a big deal to still be in the wedding, and I don't want to push it either way but am I being selfish thinking he shouldn't do it? The cost of being in a wedding is not cheap, plus bachelor party, gifts etc. Thoughts? </p>