https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 00:38:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2744965 Wed, 07 Jun 2017 19:52:05 +0000 purplelilac 2744965@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm updating my rant to add one more "exciting" detail. It turns out my MIL planned a trip to visit my SIL on the west coast 4 days after my due date. So she is pretty much away from 2 weeks before my due date to 3 weeks after. I guess she isn't interested in helping out at all this time :(</p> <p>My mom worked hard to clear her schedule to come up for 4 days right around my due date, so I am thankful for that. But it seems like that is the beginning and end of the family help we are getting this time around. I'm not trying to be ungrateful, it is really amazing that it seems like each time I have a child the amount to help that is offered drastically decreases. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741797 Tue, 30 May 2017 13:59:02 +0000 littlejoy 2741797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pregnant with baby #2, and I'm honestly surprised that none of our parents have offered to visit after baby is born (they live across the country, but all moms visited when LO1 was born), and none of them have asked if we need anything this time around. Both aren't really huge issues, I'm just surprised. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741793 Tue, 30 May 2017 13:51:53 +0000 catlady 2741793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I only have 2 but we got almost no help when our second was born. No one even bothered to send food. I don't get why people, especially family members, do this. I am in serious awe of moms of 3 or more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741745 Tue, 30 May 2017 12:50:22 +0000 purplelilac 2741745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you to everyone who responded- it is so nice to hear that I'm not completely alone. I am less emotional today (thank god) so I am dealing with things better, but its still not easy :) As my husband pointed out (lovingly) that it just seems like I always have things so together that even he forgets that I may need a little extra help. I take that as a compliment but its also hard to hear. </p> <p>One example - my inlaws offered to take my older daughter for a week this summer to their house for camp. I told them it is a great offer and she will love it, but really if they want to help then taking both girls would be MUCH more helpful. The have repeatedly declined, even when I've offered to hire/pay for a daily sitter for the younger one during camp (or whenever works) and help with whatever else they need. We also got them to agree to take both girls for 1 night so we can go to our best man's wedding (with the baby). That said, as soon as we found out that there is a 2 night hotel minimum they starting backing out. Really? 1 additional night. We never (to very very rarely) ask them for help with the kids so it blows my mind that they can't fathom doing it for two nights. Anyway, I'm ranting again. </p> <p>But yes - thank you to everyone for your kind words. I do spend a lot of time at the gym and love gym-daycare and preschool (until it just ended) was a big help. I have some additional care 2 days a week while I am working, which is a great "break". </p> <p>That said, I am already mentally planning how to help friends and siblings if/when they are in this same situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741688 Tue, 30 May 2017 11:07:38 +0000 babybunnylove 2741688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, Yes! I have been thinking the same things. I'm almost 24 weeks and have been feeling like this is so much harder than the last two. I realize that yes, I'm older and yes, I'm chasing/doing more with the current two than before when I was pregnant. But it goes beyond that. I feel like being pregnant with my third is almost less important than the others. I rarely get a "how are you doing" from my side of the family. I have to call them and then they might ask. I know they care, but they really aren't showing/expressing it. My in-laws have been great though. I just wish this child/pregnancy got the same excitement and celebration as the others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741566 Tue, 30 May 2017 08:33:30 +0000 Maysprout 2741566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I agree. It was by far the hardest pregnancy with so much to do. And then we've had a lot of unexpected things come up since he's been born. I didn't always sleep much in college but this is by far the least sleep I've gotten with not many opportunities to catch up and rest. If I'd have known what all would come up I think I would have tried to streamline more. Curbside pickup groceries, buy more ready made meals, be more on top of visitors spending the night to not disrupt sleep, etc. My third is really sweet and laid back and he's a wonderful addition. There's just a lot more logistics to figure out with 3 and whew its an exhausting time of life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741491 Tue, 30 May 2017 05:10:17 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2741491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry. The third pregnancy was my hardest. Especially at the end. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741487 Tue, 30 May 2017 03:57:18 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2741487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also pregnant with my third - 8 weeks- and I feel the same. My parents retired to Florida so they're never around anyway. We just spent the weekend with my in-laws and they kept offering me wine because they forgot I was pregnant! So definitely no extra sympathy.</p> <p>That said, my MIL is a saint and will almost always watch my kids if I ask her. She just doesn't really think to offer. I also rely on gym childcare and a drop-in childcare place for sanity savers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741484 Tue, 30 May 2017 00:07:21 +0000 mrs.kiwi 2741484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you're dealing with this! I'm in first trimester with my third and yes this pregnancy does feel different.. I think first off to a lot of people #3 is seen as "too much" and not something to be celebrated as much. Not that people will actually see the baby when he or she is born as less special but I think they see it like.. "oh well *you* chose to have a third..." thus you brought the trouble and difficulty on yourself. Which I get.. so I have much lower expectations with how people respond to this pregnancy- whether it's their excitement level or their willingness to help. When we told my mom we were pregnant again she was unhappy. She thinks 3 is too much. I'm sure she will love the baby when he or she is here but this is her initial reaction and I expected her to react that way haha.</p> <p>Anyway if I were your real life friend I would totally understand!! But yes as previous posters mentioned I think only a select group can truly empathize with how you're feeling. I hope you get some rest some how soon!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741452 Mon, 29 May 2017 20:08:54 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2741452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: thanks for sharing!! It was helpful to read. I am starting to get past the shock of the positive test (we were trying but I'm shocked it happened to fast and keep waiting for something bad to happen..) and thinking about the third in my current state can be a little daunting!</p> <p>It's good to know I'm not the only one who very much wants a third but doesn't always have the easiest time with the first two. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741443 Mon, 29 May 2017 19:46:29 +0000 skipra 2741443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the more kids you have the less help you get. The third pregnancy is physically so much harder because you're older and taking care of 2 kids. But, I did find adjusting to the third baby was so much easier than the first or second. You're already used to babies and taking care of more than one and your kids are used to having divided attention so it's not so jarring for them either. Plus they have a built in play mate already.<br /> I don't know if it will make you feel better but I felt totally abandoned by all our parents when I was pregnant with my second. We were moving and in the weekends leading up to it, it was one thing after another - like our neighbor completely flooded our basement, then I got the stomach bug and was in the hospital for dehydration and DH was at a new job with a big deadline and working overtime. My mom and dad are divorced and both happened to be on vacation so DH's mom reluctantly offered to come help me then never showed up, never called, and flat out changed the subject when asked why. My step mom came over the morning after arriving home from an international trip the day that we were moving, thankfully but still...it's like where is family when you really need them?<br /> Sorry to hear you're having a tough time. You will get through it and soon you'll have a new baby to snuggle! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741356 Mon, 29 May 2017 14:01:37 +0000 helloperidot 2741356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs, mama! It is so, so hard, and I'm sorry no one is there for you right now.</p> <p>I'm 15 weeks with my second and have hg on top of chasing around a toddler. My DH went on a 10 day business trip last month and not once did my mom, who lives 40 minutes away, ask if I needed help. It's like...hello, I'm in urgent care weekly for fluids, dizzy and nauseous all day long, and now I'm solo parenting on top of that. Of course I'd like some help!!!</p> <p>In my case, though, there's a lot of baggage from my mom having been a single mom with me (so there's an air of "I did it by myself, you can too!"). Which is BS but whatever.</p> <p>I hope you get some kind of break soon. Just know you're not alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741354 Mon, 29 May 2017 13:33:46 +0000 Littlebit7 2741354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have your asked your family for help? Can you budget for a mothers helper or someone a few days a week? Both your in-laws and parents have probably long forgotten what it was like to be pregnant (the physical and mental toll). If you really truly need help, you might have to be really direct and tell them what you need. </p> <p>I never had any offers of help when I was pregnant with my first (but to be honest I really didn't expect any). I was working full time. I'm pregnant with my second currently and same this time around. We live pretty far from family so having family help just isn't ever on the table. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741353 Mon, 29 May 2017 13:31:56 +0000 Foodnerd81 2741353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only have two, but it seems to me that the only people who would truly understand- and remember- how hard it is are not in a position to help. Like I have two little ones, and a friend has kids the same ages as mine and is pregnant with her third. I want to help but I'm really limited in what I can do. I can't even fit an extra kid in my car. </p> <p>I have no advice, just can't imagine how hard t is with two already at home. My second pregnancy kicked my butt and it was all routine normal stuff, just made so much harder with a toddler. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741352 Mon, 29 May 2017 13:31:14 +0000 winniebee 2741352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also 35 weeks with #3. The more kids you have the more life is expected to go on, I think. I haven't really asked for help besides my mom helping wash all the baby stuff. Even my husband expects more of me. Well maybe not more, but definitely not less either. Completely exhausted!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741349 Mon, 29 May 2017 13:15:15 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2741349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@purplelilac: I am 9 weeks with baby #3 and have been struggling as well. We haven't really reached out for help but today for the first time MIL took the kids for a few hours at her house and I'm soooooo grateful. I have been feeling just miserable, typical first trimester stuff I guess. I do think people think you have it together by the third baby, but no matter how many you have pregnancy and health issues can still knock you off your feet. I wish I had advice for you. Sending hugs. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/being-pregnant-with-3-is-damn-hard#post-2741348 Mon, 29 May 2017 13:01:11 +0000 purplelilac 2741348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is mostly my personal rant, but perhaps some of you are in a similar boat. I am pregnant with my third and I am amazed by how little other people care and care to help this time around. (Note, I know this may sound entitled, and maybe I am, but honestly this is how I am feeling recently). </p> <p>When I was pregnant with my first everyone wanted to see how I was doing and how they could help. With my second I feel like the help and concern and was slightly less but similar to the first time. Now here I am 35 weeks with #3 and I feel like I am begging people for help and all I get is crickets. Maybe I am supposed to have it all together at this point and not need help? Well I don't. I am tired, really tired. My husband works absurd hours. I have a 2.5 yr old and almost-5 year old and at least one has been sick for weeks. Is it too much to ask for either set of our parents to come help out? Neither lives close (2 hours and 3.5 hrs away), but it isn't super far either. Our siblings also aren't close by, but also aren't that far. I have friends, but many only have 1 child and don't seem to understand my challenges. </p> <p>Or really, maybe my rant is towards society as a whole - just maybe a little more care and concern for those of us who are caring for more then themselves at this point.</p> <p>But really I think its towards my parents and in-laws. I know they have done a lot for me over the years, but I would really, really like just a little help one of these days. I'm not asking for a lot. But don't offer to come visit for 1 weekend once the baby is born. That's not what I need. I need you now. I need you to help fold the 5th load of laundry this weekend and to play with my girls and let me take a nap. That's what I need.</p> <p>What are your thoughts? Do you feel like you are treated differently with subsequent pregnancies? </p>