https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 04:56:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time/page/2#post-2884878 Fri, 17 May 2019 14:02:38 +0000 Ajsmommy 2884878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennibenni: I don't think I answered.. the answer is that I "can" take it.. it's frowned upon though and knowing that I have no more days until Aug makes me not want to ask now... meaning I am almost sure that something is going to come up between now and august with 2 kids and a dh that has to travel a bit in June and July and I WILL HAVE NO CHOICE but to ask then... then i'll take my lumps... </p> <p>I think this whole thing is mostly bothering me bc I feel "entitled" to at least 1 bereavement day.. I don't think that's absurd or crazy to expect.. HOWEVER, obviously I dont' get one so I have to deal with it..... and I'd rather not cross the bridge into unpaid time until I literally have to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time/page/2#post-2884872 Fri, 17 May 2019 12:44:57 +0000 Jennibenni 2884872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn’t see if you responded previously so sorry if you already answered, but can you not take the remainder of the day unpaid? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time/page/2#post-2884855 Fri, 17 May 2019 10:21:39 +0000 Ajsmommy 2884855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>UPDATE:<br /> so I found that I actually have 4 hours of time left (until August).. anyway I put in to take it Monday morning. The funeral is at 10 am.</p> <p>I will go to the funeral and then leave and drive 2+ hrs back to work for 4 hrs..... I'll leave the kids with DH and his family so they can do the after funeral things</p> <p>My direct boss has been avoiding me ever since I told him about the death.. real nice move.. jerk!! anyway.... he has the power to let me take the whole day but he's being such a b!tch I dont' even want to talk to him..... so anyway it is what is it.. I am THANKFUL I found I had 4 measly hours left so I can at least attend the funeral..... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time/page/2#post-2884843 Fri, 17 May 2019 09:02:58 +0000 josina 2884843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't get specific bereavement time, just 3 weeks PTO. I am salaried. If I was out of PTO and had to take a day off, I would take it unpaid and it wouldn't be a big deal at all. Did HR mention that as a possibility when you talked to them? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time/page/2#post-2884822 Thu, 16 May 2019 20:13:52 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2884822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My company allows us to go into negative PTO up to a week (40 hrs) without supervisor permission. That way it's not docked pay, you just accrue back to zero. Is that an option? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time/page/2#post-2884809 Thu, 16 May 2019 16:34:08 +0000 DesertDreams88 2884809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: I'd be amazed if a company fired someone over this, but I wouldn't be surprised about docked pay. That's what happens in AZ school districts if you don't have enough days to cover your absences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time/page/2#post-2884753 Thu, 16 May 2019 10:16:27 +0000 jennlin821 2884753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Write down exactly what you want to say, then say it out loud (if you can....not if you are in a cubicle farm :wink: , or read it slowly to yourself)<br /> Then decide to send it via email or to talk to you boss. </p> <p>There really is no discussion that needs to happen. Its not a negotiation. You will not be in next Monday and Tuesday, as you are a salaried position you expect to be paid. </p> <p>DO NOT OFFER ANY APPOLOGIES, OR ALTERNATE PLANS. </p> <p>you are not taking time off to go to aruba. Family always come first, there is nothing else to talk about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time/page/2#post-2884752 Thu, 16 May 2019 10:12:13 +0000 psw27 2884752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pretty sure my boss changed the manual to 0 for spouse's grandparent. But it is also at his discretion to decide. If he allows it, it is up to 4 days. Ugh. My DH's grandmother is very ill and for some reason I was sure I got 3 days. Oof. </p> <p>I'm very sorry for your loss. As others have said, I would just say I'm taking the day. Pay me or don't. I'd put it all in writing. You are a long term employee. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time/page/2#post-2884751 Thu, 16 May 2019 10:11:29 +0000 Ajsmommy 2884751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jennlin821: I like your fight and inside that is totally what I am doing... </p> <p>I don't think they'd fire me if I didn't show up on Monday.. </p> <p>I am sitting here and I know I should probably just go talk to my boss and be direct, like say well as you KNOW hr told me I get no bereavement days but I have to go to the funeral on Monday and I don't have any vacation days so what do I do?? </p> <p>however, bc I am so mad (about the predicament I am in) and sad about the death/possibly missing the funeral I know I probably can't keep my emotions in check and I really don't want to yell or melt down into a crying puddle and I'm pretty sure that if I go in that is exactly what will happen and I so don't want to do that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time/page/2#post-2884750 Thu, 16 May 2019 10:04:59 +0000 gotkimchi 2884750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jennlin821: fmla doesn’t cover bereavement unfortunately :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884747 Thu, 16 May 2019 09:33:03 +0000 jennlin821 2884747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Salary means that you get paid the same no matter how many hours you work during that time period. </p> <p>You could not control your child getting sick, there was no better way to manage your time. </p> <p>You have a family emergency and need to take 1-2 days off. </p> <p>Write them a letter stating that you've had a death in the family and will be taking bereavement leave. If they fight you then it should be covered as an unpaid FMLA day. </p> <p>If this is happening to you, its happening to others. Stop letting your company roll over you. Stand up for you family! If you don't go in to work next week will they fire you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884736 Thu, 16 May 2019 08:13:34 +0000 Ajsmommy 2884736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pollywog: this is exactly what I wish my boss would do.. however, I went to him first and he's the one that directed me to HR, he knew they were going to tell me no but he copped out and didn't want to deal with it. I'm going to have 20 yrs with this company in august and it disgusts me that I've worked here for so long. He also knows that the reason I am out of days is bc DH traveled for work and one week alone my DD had a stomach bug all week.. there wasn't anything I could do.. I took off m-w, sent her to school Thursday and then got called to pick her up bc she had a fever so she was out 1/2 of thurs and fri too.. all while dh was out of town. Then I had pneumonia and I ended up taking 2 days off for myself... that right there is 6 days I would have still had but I don't.. oh and ds had to have 2 sets of tubes put in in a span of 3 months... </p> <p>I know my boss will say something about managing my time better but I honestly don't know how I could have... </p> <p>and I am really sad/upset that it's coming to this. I feel terrible for DH's grandmom and his family and I now I might not even be able to attend the funeral...ack what a jerk I feel like.</p> <p>@gotkimchi: see above I might have touched upon some of your ?'s there... but they dont' allow us to borrow days and I am also not able to make up the time unless it can be spread out over a few weeks... idk... it would all be so much easier if I just had one measley bereavement day </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884735 Thu, 16 May 2019 08:03:21 +0000 gotkimchi 2884735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: what do you mean you want to push? Have you talked to your boss and they won’t accommodate? </p> <p>I would just say to my boss I need Monday off for a funeral - I’m willing to work that out however you want via made up time, unpaid time, or a borrowed day </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884734 Thu, 16 May 2019 08:01:06 +0000 Pollywog 2884734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: so I'm a federal employee, like @hitchhiker: , but unlike her I'm completely out of sick leave. (We can take sick for bereavement). Between maternity leaves and kids illnesses, I'm completely out. My boss knows that in my 8 year tenure I've never taken a sick day for myself, so she was forgiving and allowed me to borrow leave when my grandma died. Is that an option for you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884729 Thu, 16 May 2019 07:02:22 +0000 Ajsmommy 2884729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms. RV: I am salaried, however I don't see that I could make up 8 hours next week.. I'd have to work 10 hr days tues-fri and that's not possible bc DH will go back to work on Tuesday (funeral is Monday) and he doesn't get home in time to pick up the kids from daycare. </p> <p>I honestly don't know what I am going to do.</p> <p>I almost want to push and just tell them to give me an unpaid leave day but I don't know if that is "frowned" upon or not. But it's not like I'm doing it for an invalid reason..... however I fear they will tell me I mismanaged my days off and that I shouldn't be in this position blah blah blah and I surely don't need that..... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884728 Thu, 16 May 2019 06:50:15 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2884728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: Its not great but it seems like several people are in a similar boat. I hope I never have to find out, but bereavement time is usually just for funeral purposes which can be reasonably concluded in 3 days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884725 Thu, 16 May 2019 06:14:02 +0000 ElbieKay 2884725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snarkybiochemist: 3 days off if you lose a child? That is ludicrous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884711 Wed, 15 May 2019 21:34:05 +0000 Sams Mom 2884711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine is super vague 🤷🏼‍♀️</p> <p>Bereavement Leave is available to full-time and part-time employees upon hire. The benefit includes up to 3 days paid leave from date of death to funeral for qualifying family members. Up to 4 days if greater than 250 miles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884708 Wed, 15 May 2019 20:57:28 +0000 irene 2884708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh wow I wasn't aware you get days off.... my mom passed away last year and DH took 2 weeks off of vacation time as we had to fly out of country. I worked for myself so I was good (I just stopped taking projects). Didn't even occur to me that we could have checked .... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884707 Wed, 15 May 2019 20:48:16 +0000 hitchhiker 2884707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lindseykaye: I was shocked when I looked it up. We get zero parental leave, so I was expecting something similarly terrible for bereavement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884704 Wed, 15 May 2019 20:45:26 +0000 lindseykaye 2884704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hitchhiker: this is such an inclusive policy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884700 Wed, 15 May 2019 19:53:17 +0000 SweetCaroline 2884700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a very specific policy for bereavement that does not cover spouse's grandparents. However, managers are trained to use their discretion and my manager has been more lenient. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884698 Wed, 15 May 2019 19:47:46 +0000 hitchhiker 2884698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I work for the US federal government. We don't get specific bereavement leave, but can use up to 13 days of sick leave for bereavement for family members, defined as:</p> <p>1. Spouse, and parents thereof;<br /> 2. Sons and daughters, and spouses thereof;<br /> 3. Parents, and spouses thereof;<br /> 4. Brothers and sisters, and spouses thereof;<br /> 5. Grandparents and grandchildren, and spouses thereof;<br /> 6. Domestic partner and parents thereof, including domestic partners of any individual in 2 through 5 of this definition; and<br /> 7. Any individual related by blood or affinity whose close association with the employee is the equivalent of a family relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884668 Wed, 15 May 2019 15:46:13 +0000 kayla0416 2884668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: My company doesn't allow time off specifically for grandparents of a spouse, but it does allow 1 day off per year for the "funeral of a friend", which could include the grandparent of a spouse, so I could use that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884665 Wed, 15 May 2019 15:40:56 +0000 PurplePumps 2884665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>3 days for immediate family (sibling, parents, children, grandkids, grand parents, great grands) of yourself or spouse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884664 Wed, 15 May 2019 15:27:37 +0000 Ms. RV 2884664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Are you salaried? Can you maybe work something out with your supervisor to make up time taken? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884662 Wed, 15 May 2019 15:03:40 +0000 skinnycow 2884662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry - that seems unfair. My company's policy is 3 days bereavement leave for grandparents, step-grandparents, or grandparents-in-law. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884658 Wed, 15 May 2019 14:44:09 +0000 Ajsmommy 2884658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyofthewest: ouch that's pretty terrible<br /> @Mrs. Toad: yikes... </p> <p>see I need to be grateful for what I do get.. but man in the moment it is so frustrating and feels really unfair. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884657 Wed, 15 May 2019 14:41:49 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2884657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>None. Emergency leave (regular leave granted immediately) is only for parents, spouse, children, and siblings. I could probably get emergency leave for my spouse's parents and siblings, but I wouldn't bet about my nieces or nephews.</p> <p>Now if it isn't a hardship to my job, I would be able to take leave for any of the above. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bereavement-time#post-2884654 Wed, 15 May 2019 14:09:20 +0000 Ajsmommy 2884654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jennlin821: I'm so so so angry right now but I know I have to control myself. I cannot believe it. I wouldn't be so upset IF I HAD any days left but I don't bc I used all of them for my sick kids this past winter... huh I wonder if the "lurker" will come back to bash me for taking too many days off for my sick kids..... </p> <p>Phew.. I am fuming... </p>