https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 12:55:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2521008 Mon, 11 Apr 2016 05:45:16 +0000 Pumuckl 2521008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: Yay for progress! Glad things are getting better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2519396 Fri, 08 Apr 2016 07:08:57 +0000 lamariniere 2519396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pumuckl: thanks for checking in! The last few days have been better! Like I mentioned, she's a very cuddly child, so I've been taking more time to hold her or just give her a random hug when she has been calm. When she did start screaming the other day I told her she could go to her room to scream but we didn't want her screaming at us. She calmed down pretty quickly after that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2519388 Fri, 08 Apr 2016 07:05:08 +0000 Pumuckl 2519388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: How has it been going? Still lots of tantrums or have you found a strategy? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2517135 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 11:28:54 +0000 Cherrybee 2517135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: It has been really powerful for me to learn to accept her feelings, to know they're not personal, they're not a challenge to me and I don't have to win (although, technically I've won because she's not getting another video, but I don't need her to be okay with it too). I've been talking about this with a therapist - it hasn't come easily to me - but I've also found Janet Lansbury really helpful. </p> <p>@MrsBrewer: Aaaw, thanks! I wish I felt as calm as I must sound! </p> <p>@hilsy85: Yes! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2517013 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 10:21:54 +0000 Mrsbells 2517013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>one thing that worked for us, was immediately walking out of the room when LO would start a tantrum and make sure she realizes she is being ignored. its an attention seeking thing and they quickly stop when they realize no one is paying attention </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516978 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 10:01:20 +0000 MrsBrewer 2516978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Awww I hope when my LO is older and in the tantrum stage, I'm able to be that collected and calm!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516976 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 09:59:44 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2516976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: This is what we do, and it really really works. I also say "would you like a hug?" and he always says yes and immediately calms down. It helps me to be more calm too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516862 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 08:58:24 +0000 hilsy85 2516862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me, the key was realizing I didn't really have to DO anything about tantrums. hitting, throwing things--yes, that's not allowed, I would move away from him or remove items he could throw or put him in a safer space. But yelling, screaming, crying, lying on the floor--it's ok! That's how he's expressing himself and as long as he's being safe about it, I just tried to be comfortable with it and let him know that I was close by when he was ready. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516787 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 08:13:55 +0000 nana87 2516787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: ooh that's lucky--public tantrums are the worst! I gave up using the stroller to commute to daycare because she was tantruming the entire 20 minute walk, and we were getting a LOT of stares on the street. She wanted me to hold her, and I physically couldn't push the stroller with all our bags and carry her at the same time--I don't have that many arms, lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516779 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 08:09:34 +0000 lamariniere 2516779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@My Only Sunshine: We do use time outs and they had been effective until recently. But giving her the lovies sounds like a good idea since she really likes them.</p> <p>@nana87: luckily we haven't had a huge public tantrum yet...but it was pretty close at the park yesterday, and it's probably just a matter of time until it happens. I should probably focus more on giving her words, like you said. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516774 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 08:04:33 +0000 nana87 2516774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like others have mentioned, I tried to give her words to describe her feelings ("you're feeling frustrated because...."), and I also try to hold her close, and if I can, I get her to put her head on my shoulder, and I sing this silly song that I made up that helps calm her down (to the tune of Mary Had A Little Lamb, "Mama loves her Rosalie..." and then each verse is someone different, like daddy, our dogs, grandparents, daycare teachers, etc). That usually distracts her until she says she "feels better" and is "ready to play" again. It definitely does not always work though! One time recently nothing was helping, so I just said "do you just want to cry a little?" And she said "yes" so I just held her for a few minutes and that seemed to work, she just wanted to get her feelings out</p> <p>Today she was throwing a tantrum on a public bus bc she'd thrown her paci on the ground (she wanted a different one, which I didn't have) and couldn't have it. She didn't want to hear the song at all, but stopped tantruming when we got off the bus--I think the fresh air distracted her. And then she was super happy when we got to daycare. So many BIG feelings at 2! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516745 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 07:31:07 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2516745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: My 2.5 year old has a lot of big feelings and throws some pretty epic tantrums.</p> <p>We do a two minute "time out" although we don't call it that. I put her in our big recliner with her lovey, dim the lights, and tell her she needs to sit there to calm down and she may not get out of the chair. </p> <p>After 2-ish minutes I bring her a glass of milk or water to drink and give her a big hug. Then I try to talk to her a little about her feelings - "You were mad I wouldn't let you play with the blah blah blah" and about our family rules - "We're kind and gentle to each other and we don't hit." We also make her apologize if she hit or threw things at someone.</p> <p>If she starts tantruming again when I go over to her, we just repeat the cycle.</p> <p>For her, those two minutes by herself with her lovey really de-escalate the situation and calm her down. But I'm sure there are other kids who are exactly the opposite and would freak out if you tried time out, so it's probably a know your kid thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516729 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 07:12:14 +0000 lamariniere 2516729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pumuckl: Thanks. She is normally a very cuddly girl, so maybe I will try more touch next time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516724 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 07:05:55 +0000 Pumuckl 2516724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: Hugs :heart: I hate tantrums. My LO1 has a tendancy towards them when he is tired and hungry. Also doing what @Cherrybee suggested has helped a lot with him too. He's also someone who talking to helps a lot. So I usually tell him (while hugging him) that it is okay to be angry/frustrated/scared and that he surely wanted to continue doing "x" and why I or dad did whatever caused the tantrum. I have really found that physical touch really helps and that 2.25-2.75 years was the time that tantrums were worst. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516715 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 06:50:29 +0000 lamariniere 2516715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: She doesn't seem sick and I've been on the lookout for that in case it could be a cause. </p> <p>So far I am trying to avoid letting her watch videos. We potty trained over the weekend and one of the rewards was letting her watch a video, so now she thinks she can watch one anytime she goes or thinks she needs to go :silly: .</p> <p>@Cherrybee: good idea. I'm definitely going to try this approach the next time it happens (which I'm sure will be right when we get home from daycare this afternoon). :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516713 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 06:47:07 +0000 Cherrybee 2516713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds absurd, but I have had success with describing E's feelings for her.... So I might say "oh, you are so frustrated. You wanted to watch another video on my phone, you WANTED to, but I said no. This makes you angry!". It sometimes stops the tantrum (she sometimes stops and says "I'm angry, mummy" and calms down), other times she still needs to express how furious she is so I stay close while she tantrums, accepting her feelings - it has really reduced the intensity and duration. Then we cuddle and I tell her I love her whatever she's feeling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516711 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 06:45:46 +0000 Foodnerd81 2516711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am the last one to offer advice- my 2.5 yo has been having epic tantrums. They were out of control when she had ear infections- so just pointing that out to make sure she's not sick? I've been trying to read some Janet Lansbury posts and bought her book but honestly, have a hard time even reading it on bad tantrum days. If there are specific triggers you can try something for it, like for us, coming upstairs and in the condo was a battle every time. I made a sticker chart where she gets a sticker for nicely climbing the stairs, taking off shoes and coat, and washing hands. It helps at least 50% of the time so that's something. </p> <p>But a lot of them are just out of the blue or unavoidable (like I give her plenty of warning that we have to leave the park, but she still freaks out and I have to wrestle her into the stroller, with the baby in the carrier on my front). It sucks. It gives me hope that your older one never had tantrums- my younger is way more laid back already than my older one, maybe she also won't have so many tantrums when she's older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/best-tip-for-dealing-with-a-tantruming-toddler#post-2516709 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 06:40:38 +0000 lamariniere 2516709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My youngest is 28 months and has started having some pretty bad tantrums over the last few weeks. Most of it comes from when she is told she can't do something (jump on the bed with her toothbrush, watch another video on my phone). She will scream and scream and sometimes hit. So far, I've tried to explain why she can't do what she's doing, give an alternative, ignore her, or put her in her crib if she keeps screaming/hitting. Any other advice?</p> <p>Other than the occasional meltdown, my older child never really threw tantrums, so this is all new territory for me. </p>