https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 16:57:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26456 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 19:38:23 +0000 eeh 26456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Best: Don't argue in public. We have friends who are constantly bickering and running to friends to complain, and tearing each other down in front of anyone and everyone. My father-in-law gave us the advice because he knows our friends. </p> <p>Worst advice:hide money from your spouse. Terrible idea. I think it's okay to have separate money but hidden money, in my book, is just a no no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26425 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 19:25:37 +0000 tessabella76 26425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Best: The "honeymoon" phase/romance/sex will only go away if you let it. It'll only stop when you stop making the effort.</p> <p>Worst: Haven't really had any horrible advice thank goodness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26351 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 18:18:26 +0000 Maysprout 26351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Best: If a problem comes up in your marriage it should be discussed with your spouse and not gossiped about to your friends. Let your spouse have a chance to explain their side/rectify the situation before it gets blown out of proportion or overanalyzed.</p> <p>Worst: Your spouse shouldn't be your best friend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26336 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 17:29:14 +0000 Witz 26336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, I had a friend in college whose sister was going through a divorce, and she told us "don't get married until after graduate school" (she had married right after college and then divorced after dental school). This advice doesn't even apply to everyone, but I know that I definitely changed a lot (mostly grew up and got to know myself better) during graduate school and it probably would have been a bad idea for me (personally) to get married before then. I think about that advice periodically, and that it was really good advice for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26335 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 17:25:33 +0000 Witz 26335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I think about marriage advice, the first thing that always comes to mind is an article by Dr. John Gottmann about predicting divorce:</p> <p><a href="http://www.isoulseek.com/sitebranches/relationskills/articles/6signs.pdf" rel="nofollow">http://www.isoulseek.com/sitebranches/relationskills/articles/6signs.pdf</a></p> <p>Although it talks about the signs that a couple will ultimately break up (and Dr. Gottmann is 91% accurate in his predictions), there are some good lessons in there about what not to do. </p> <p>My husband and I try to be really aware of these things when we communicate/argue, and we try to avoid them altogether, or at least nip them in the bud when we see them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26225 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:43:11 +0000 mrs. wagon 26225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've gotten some good advice, but one of the worst pieces of advice was to spend time away from each other. I know that some people need time away from each other, but there are couples who would rather do everything together. So I guess I would say that it's good advice for people who do need their independent time or time with their girlfriends or guy friends. But Rob Sr. and I have been inseparable since he moved here 9 years ago. We actually only have needed one car ever since we got married, because we go everywhere together. We'll probably have to get another car once we have another kid, and we'll need to divide and conquer when we no longer outnumber the offspring... but the need/desire to always be together isn't so strong anymore, so that's fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26218 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:36:50 +0000 tequiero21 26218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>best advice: pick your battles. can't win em all. also, you have to work on your marriage. </p> <p>haven't met any rude people to give me any bad advice lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26210 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:28:19 +0000 runsyellowlites 26210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CameronsMomma: agreed!</p> <p>Going to bed angry and going to be with things still up in the air or not completely resolved are COMPLETELY different.<br /> Anger roots, and there's no denying that. The longer you hold on to something that someone's done the harder it is to get over.... and sometimes, you don't even realize you're not over it (you feel better the next morning) until that particular thing comes up again and now it's compounded with the previous account.<br /> We have an apologize quickly and forgive even quicker policy in our house.</p> <p>So yes, that was one of the best.... along with don't go more than 4 days with SOME kind of sexual intimacy. </p> <p>Now I've struggled with that one b/c of some things in my past but it does make TOTAL sense!</p> <p>Worst advice -&gt; I don't think I've ever gotten any "bad" advice.... then again I'm pretty particular at who I ask. lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26209 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:25:42 +0000 HabesBabe 26209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: LOL! Love it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26206 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:23:42 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 26206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rubies, wow that is awful. </p> <p>I think the best advice we got was not to let life get in the way of our relationship and to cherish each other always. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26201 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:19:22 +0000 CameronsMomma 26201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm going to go against everyone else and say the best advice we recieved was to not go to bed angry. We always make an effort to sort things out before bed, and we awake that much happier.</p> <p>The worst advice we recieved was probably to not get married, that it wouldn't last. My husband and I had a "shot gun" wedding, so we've got a "shot gun" policy. Anyone wants to get out, we buy shot guns and see who can run faster. Of course we're kidding, but neither of us agree in ever leaving each other, or divorce. We want to make it work, and we remind each other of that every day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26110 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 12:55:22 +0000 mrsjyw 26110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the overall worst advice is the one everyone's heard... "Don't go to bed angry."</p> <p>We definitely don't go to bed "angry", but sometimes both of us need time to cool off before having a resolution conversation. We like to talk things out when we are calm, so sometimes overnight bed time is needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26106 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 12:51:12 +0000 Wondermommy 26106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: #2, lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26086 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 12:26:40 +0000 Rescuemom10 26086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The best I think is just my parents saying I better "keep him", they totally adore DH. Parents being that happy and aproving is important to me.</p> <p>The worst...well it was more crazy weird than anything. After we got married we took the party bus for the wedding party and DH and I. It brought us to a few bars and few places for pic ops with our photographer before heading to the reception hall. Well we stopped at a bar on the way, we all went in and got a drink and what not.<br /> This older man at the bar turned around and raised his glass to us and said "Enjoy it while it lasts because it wont last long" then started laughing. Wow rude! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-26014 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 10:49:34 +0000 Lozza 26014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got two pieces of advice at my bachelorette party that I will never forget, both from friends who'd been married 10 years at that point (and are still married).<br /> #1: Make a deal regarding porn. (whether that is "no one is allowed to watch it, ever" or "you can watch it, just never let me see it or come across it" to "never erase your browser so i can always see what you've been watching"... just decide together in advance)<br /> #2: Continue to give blow jobs at whatever rate you were giving them before you were married. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-25952 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:44:50 +0000 yoursilverlining 25952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Best: My dad (married 40+ years) asked me after the wedding if anything was different or had changed. I said “no, not really” and he said “then you got married for the right reasons”. His advice to me: be a complete, interesting, self reliant adult before marriage, enter marriage only after really getting to know your partner (including living together), and make sure you are not getting married in order to “get” or “fix” something in your relationship (i.e., because you want to be able to live together, or be intimate, or you think you can change a partner or relationship by getting married, or you think getting married will make you somehow different or more interesting).</p> <p>Other good advice: Continue to be an interesting person, don’t become a Stepford Wife. </p> <p>I'm not sure what the worst advice would be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-25950 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:41:56 +0000 Mrsbells 25950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Best advice: Dont listen to other people who always say "if I were in your shoes I would do this to my spouse" because each marriage is different, so do what works for the two of you and dont discuss your fights with your friends.</p> <p>I cant think of any bad advice that I've received. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-25947 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:35:27 +0000 Rubies 25947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The WORST advice I was told was: "If you're pissed at him, just withhold sex. You'll eventually get what you want."</p> <p>Needless to say, she is now divorced. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-25942 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:28:58 +0000 Weagle 25942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Best- forgive as you would want to be forgiven.</p> <p>Worst- don't get married. Yep, got that one from my parents cynical neighbor who has been through several marriages himself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/bestworst-marriage-advice#post-25886 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 01:30:23 +0000 MaisyMay 25886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What is the best and the worst marriage/relationship advice that you've ever received? What does your partner think?</p> <p>Best: Pursue your own interests - It keeps us both from getting grouchy with each other and lets us have interesting things to talk about.<br /> Worst: Don't go to bed angry - Sometimes we need time to cool off if we are upset.</p> <p>Hubs' response:<br /> Best - Make sure to do things that your wife appreciates/Go out of your way for your wife. Don't stop with the romance. Realize that women have a different sense of humor then men (a.k.a. no body jokes, etc) </p>