https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Apr 2026 03:20:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/betterworse-than-expected#post-2120534 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 19:24:30 +0000 catlady 2120534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Better:<br /> - I thought I'd be obsessed with her meeting milestones and get freaked out if she was late, but I've surprised myself by being pretty easy going about it.<br /> - I feel really good about her daycare and my work situation. I had mom guilt for a couple weeks after going back to work, but that was it.<br /> - Family. Both mine and DH's have been really great.</p> <p>Worse:<br /> - Breastfeeding stuff. I was on a crazy elimination diet for close to a year and drove myself crazy with pumping because I felt so strongly that I didn't want to give her formula. Looking back, I have no idea why.<br /> - Sleep. She was never sleepy as a newborn and the 4 month sleep regression nearly destroyed us. Even when things got better, she didn't STTN until 10 months. Luckily, sleep has been great since then (knock on wood).<br /> - I can't bring myself to leave her with anyone other than a family member, and they don't live close by, so DH and I don't really get to have date nights anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/betterworse-than-expected#post-2120396 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 17:15:41 +0000 Anagram 2120396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ohhh.....let's see:</p> <p>Better:</p> <p>-All the "behavior stuff". It's still early days at 20 months, but I just don't have a lot of stress/angst over LOs behavior. Could be a combination of maybe she's an "easy" kid as far as behavior goes, and maybe I'm just not bothered by a lot of stuff ("defiance", not doing what I ask, tantrumming).<br /> -poopy diapers--I thought they would be so disgusting and that DH and I would fight over doing them, but outside of my pregnancy nausea, neither of us minds changing diapers<br /> -stress about development and stimulating baby--I just don't stress about it, haha<br /> -dealing with our families. We just haven't had a lot of drama regarding our families after having LO, and I know we are lucky in that area.</p> <p>Worse:</p> <p>-hands down, all the feeding issues of LOs first year. The BFing problems, the tongue and lip ties, the therapy needed for her jaw issues, the MSPI, the breast and bottle refusal, the losing weight, the not eating solids. Awful, Awful, Awful</p> <p>-the sleep. I knew having a baby = a period of no sleep, but I didn't know that I would one day have a 20 month old that still has shitty sleep. =/ </p> <p>-the sleep. I'm putting it twice because having a baby with bad sleep problems really magnified my own bad sleep problems. I had sleep issues as a child (insomnia) that I felt pretty in control of as an adult. I am just used to it taking an hour to fall asleep most nights, and needing a total quiet and dark room. But having a baby that wakes up every 2-3 hours, and needing an hour of quiet each time to fall back asleep meant that I was averaging 4ish hours of broken sleep a night and I literally thought I was going to have a mental breakdown at one point, just from lack of sleep. Now that LO is back to "only" having 1-2 wakeups in a 10 hours period, I am much better rested and fairly normal. But I worry about having this second infant, when my toddler still doesn't sleep great and with my own sleep problems. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/betterworse-than-expected#post-2120292 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 15:50:59 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 2120292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Better:</p> <p>What media girl said about the twos. I was expecting them to be difficult, but my daughter was SO AWESOME throughout the 2 year.</p> <p>Potty training was really easy for us.</p> <p>Just the general "adjustment" to living life with one and then two kids. It's now like second nature for me to pack up the kids by myself in 15 minutes and go grocery shopping, to the mall, costco, zoo trips, etc. I'd rather do things with them then without them! I was really nervous about getting out and about with both but it's been great!</p> <p>Worse:<br /> The sleep. I have kids with low sleep needs and the short cat naps and the nightwakings and every thing else that goes with bad sleep is SO draining. I never feel well rested.</p> <p>The feeling of "so much on my plate." I didn't realize it was possible to feel overwhelmed sometimes. With two kids, a husband who works insane hours, a job myself, no childcare, etc. etc., i just feel like I can hardly think straight sometimes!</p> <p>Keeping up with laundry and other house stuff. It's hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/betterworse-than-expected#post-2120241 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 15:17:54 +0000 snowjewelz 2120241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm there with you all about the wanting/not wanting to be with your baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/betterworse-than-expected#post-2120194 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 14:56:29 +0000 Mae 2120194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: not looking forward to the childcare struggle! I'm a SAHM now so thats easy. But I'll be heading back to work when I find a job and I'm sure it will be sad to do daycare!</p> <p>@babynumber1: see that was also sort of better for me. But my expectations were low. I expected to haaaaate the baby stage. In reality it just sort of sucked lol. I am definitely enjoying her more, month by month. But I didn't HATE her early months like I thought I would (i've never been a baby person). </p> <p>@Pirouette: &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/betterworse-than-expected#post-2120177 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 14:48:26 +0000 Pirouette 2120177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: @Mrs. Pen: exactly what you said about the wanting to be there/not wanting to be there! I could never have understood that before i had a baby.</p> <p>Also, the sleep deprivation. I could never have prepared myself.</p> <p>What's better than expected? just about everything else. Watching things click for her for the first time. hearing her say words. watching her personality develop every single day. hearing her laugh. I wasn't prepared to love being her mom as much as i do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/betterworse-than-expected#post-2120128 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 14:23:42 +0000 babynumber1 2120128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought that I would enjoy the baby age more. In reality, I like the 2.5-3's way better. We are about to have our second though, so this will be a big adjustment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/betterworse-than-expected#post-2120123 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 14:21:52 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2120123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OMG YES to this: &lt;&lt;the wanting to be with her and also not wanting to be with her. Like I want a break sometimes. But then I miss her when I have it.&gt;&gt;</p> <p>It's so true. Because I'm in school FT and work, I spend a good deal of time away from him, and miss him SO much. But it seems like whenever I get time with him - he's a cranky mess and we don't even have fun together. </p> <p>What's harder/ what I didn't even expect is all the judgment/criticism that comes with every.single.decision I make simply because I'm a mother. It gets really tiring sometimes.</p> <p>Also what's way harder is dealing with childcare. I guess I thought almost any good daycare in the area would work, and that's not true. We seem to hit bumps no matter where we are and it's so frustrating. In that respect it'd be so much easier to just stay home until he's in school but I can't quit now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/betterworse-than-expected#post-2120121 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 14:21:11 +0000 Mae 2120121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: thats awesome :) </p> <p>@Mamasig: glad to here it may still be in queue </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/betterworse-than-expected#post-2120112 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 14:18:07 +0000 Mamasig 2120112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I had big expectations either way. But I did not expect mommy guilt. That is a real thing!</p> <p>I've been a mom for 2.5 years now and my mom-dar only recently kicked in. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/betterworse-than-expected#post-2120098 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 14:11:03 +0000 mediagirl 2120098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The twos have NOT been terrible. At all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/betterworse-than-expected#post-2120096 Tue, 24 Mar 2015 14:08:01 +0000 Mae 2120096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Looking back now on almost a year of parenthood... for me some things were better or easier than expected... and some things were worse. </p> <p>Better:<br /> - poop diapers don't hardly bother me at all<br /> - cloth diaper laundry is not the huge PITA I expected it to be<br /> - the video monitor does not creep me out as expected (I like horror movies a lot... and after watching all the paranormal video movies I sort of thought that it would creep me the hell out to watch LO on the video screen in b/w because I would keep expecting there to be a ghost or something or like I'd see something move that shouldn't move..... lol)</p> <p>Worse:<br /> - the wanting to be with her and also not wanting to be with her. Like I want a break sometimes. But then I miss her when I have it.<br /> - The general indecisiveness. My mom-dar is broken and I never know what the hell I'm doing. Sort of thought I'd have a stronger instinct!</p> <p>Whats been better and worse for you? </p>